Dumb ways to Die


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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I actually saw "...Dex 10, Con 7..." once while glancing at a 1st-level monk character sheet laying on a table as we were mustering PFS. I was not at that table, but was aware of a commotion there a half-hour later.

Sovereign Court

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Going 2 rooms away from the the party to piss when you're supposed to be pulling watch and getting torn apart by a pack of wolves for trying to be greedy.

Rolling a 1 and decapitating yourself because your bowstring snapped at a critical moment...causing the fight to stop in awe of the colossal cluster f**% that was your mistake.

Most of the party and half the city being buried alive by a Solar's earthquake spell because an inept white mage thinks calling it from a pearl of power equates to a game of pokemon.


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Latrans wrote:
I’ve had an honorable mention. Party has been fighting this flying snake woman at the top of a 180ft tall tower. Very tough fight, gunslinger is the only one that can regularly hit her.

This sounds suspiciously like a notoriously difficult boss fight in a certain AP...


Thedmstrikes wrote:
I cannot believe none of the guys have showed up yet to say "I cast Sanctuary on the bad guy!" said our cleric thinking that was how it worked...of course, that is not how it works...

I did that. Almost got killed by my own party after he got away. How did your cleric think it worked?


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Alni wrote:
I did that. Almost got killed by my own party after he got away. How did your cleric think it worked?

He thought casting it on the bad guy made him not attack the caster of the spell...


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A buddy of mine back when he was first getting started in AD&D had a DM tell him that there was "a white dwarf standing in the cavern extending his hand outwards", to which he responded "I go up and shake his hand," resulting in a prompt death by level drain. Little did he know that the DM actually said that there's "a wight dwarf standing in the cavern extending his hand outwards."


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Johnico wrote:
A buddy of mine back when he was first getting started in AD&D had a DM tell him that there was "a white dwarf standing in the cavern extending his hand outwards", to which he responded "I go up and shake his hand," resulting in a prompt death by level drain. Little did he know that the DM actually said that there's "a wight dwarf standing in the cavern extending his hand outwards."

When you wrote 'white dwarf', my first thought was of the celestial body instead.

Then again, I suppose if the party ran into such a white dwarf in the middle of a dungeon, they'd all be dead of radiation...


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Level drain/radiation. Six of one, half dozen of the other.


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This happened yesterday and I immediately thought of this thread. One of my fellow players has an item the GM created called a gravity belt that allows him to control gravity by making knowledge (engineering) checks. We we're fighting the city guard and he decided it would be a great idea to fly 200 feet in the air and slam himself down onto a guard. This deals 20d12 damage split half and half between them. He ended up taking 73 damage and completely killing himself (We are level 5). The guard died too though.


This was a 1st edition game. Sometime in 1988 - 1990, when I was in the Army, the party was fighting Frost Giants. The party Ranger, who was wearing Wings of Flying decided to fly up and shoot a Frost Giant in the face. After being shot, the Giant looked at the Ranger, and crushed him with a clap. Like swatting a fly. The Ranger fell to the ground, complete with a spiral motion supplied by the DM.


Thedmstrikes wrote:
Alni wrote:
I did that. Almost got killed by my own party after he got away. How did your cleric think it worked?
He thought casting it on the bad guy made him not attack the caster of the spell...

*deskbang*


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Easy enough in a Dragonlance 2E game. A player who is running a Kender and one of the few examples of a properly run Kender. He decides to make soup for the party as everyone else is sleeping. His character had nothing to stir the soup properly. Hey his fellow Solmanic knight battleaxe would do the trick. So he proceed to borrow the axe and stir the soup. The Solmanic player who we shall call Distrupto had a habit of trying to kill players for the most trivial of reasons wakes and of course takes offense and tries to kill the Kender. The player running the Kender and DM were having none of that.

The Kender ran across a log bridge and being unencumbered and kept running the Solmanic in full heavy runs full tilt across the same log. The player who ignored the DM trying to tell him both how the log was slippery and every step shook kept running at the same speed. Three quarters of the way across the log slips taking the Solmanic with it. He tried to blame the DM/Kender for purposefully trying to kill him. No one took his side. Player death not because the Kender borrowed his axe because he used it to stir soup.

Same player in Ravenloft. Given how deadly Ravenloft is the party was justifiably paranoid. He decides he wants no part of being subtle and waiting for something to come to the group. HE was going to out to find something to fight. All the players including myself let him go and we proceed to fortify the abandoned castle we used as temporary base. The wizard told the disruptive player that he was putting explosive runes on the front door to be careful. As well he takes point and tells the DM "anything that comes through the door unannounced gets a Lightning Bolt tossed at them". Distrupto nods his head in a way that one just knows he ignored everything the Wizard said. Distrupto of course kicks over a hornet nest rushes back because that's what he does.

So being the most "smartest" player in the group kick open the front door. Triggering the Explosive runes makes his save. The Wizard lets go of his Lightning bolt because all he knows someone kicks open the front door. Distrupto loses it and threathens to kill the Wizard with a character who lost 75% of his hp and nowhere near the character. The Wizard player who has begun to hate Distrupto was more than willing to defend himself. He pouts and decides to go and attack the huge group of undead he lead to our base.


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I was running The Reaping Stone. The party was hip deep in the crypts, and then stumbled their way into a room with a T-rex Skeleton. Now they knew it was animated, and had done a round or two with it when, a new player had his character run for the door at the far end of the room... right past the T-rex.

I asked him if he was sure he wanted to do that, and he said yes. I them muttered, "Well, if your going to act like prey" For the rest of the fight his character's remains were stuck in the Rexs teeth.

Scarab Sages

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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber

There is a broken bridge, with a 7 foot gap to cross. That is a DC 7 acrobatics check.
Being lvl1 and with a few people with armor check penalties, the player send the rogue over (he had of course real good acrobatics), with a rope so its safe for everyone to cross.

While the rogue was securing the rope, the sorcerer literally said; "I am not waiting for this". And jumps across.
Natural 1. Fails the reflex save to grab the edge. Takes enough falling damage to be 2HP away from dying.
No one can make it down in time to stabilize him and he fails his stabilize roll 2 times.
Dead.

We called this a suicide.


In the late stages of STAP, while facing a cavalry charge in some now forgotten layer of the abyss, my PC was all excited about readying a spear to brace for a charge (Doesn't happen regularly in our games). Imagine his surprise when he realized the cavalry had 5ft more reach than him. Which he should have known!!

He took a spirited lance charge and went from max to neg a zillion in one round!

Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

Silver Crusade

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So, OP here.

I was running a Pathfinder game, but the setting was Redwall. Magic was starting to emerge for reasons unknown. And the setting never got resolved because of the impact this death had on all the players. One felt like an idiot, one felt like it was his fault.

Anyway.

I have a friend who has the tendency to, well, overthink things. He's a good fellow indeed. However, this taught me not to let him play high int low wisdom characters.

He was running a high int low wisdom bard. His character got the bright idea of making a parachute. I'm don't remember why the needed one though.
Anyway, there was no silk to be found. So he made it out of flax linen. The prototype (super tiny and using a rock) worked just fine.

So he decided to make a full size one. And I secretly rolled his engineering check. It was a 1. I expected him to do a small-scale test.
Nope. He has the Fruit Bat Alchemist fly him up 200 feet above the pond in Redwall Abbey and let go.
He was level 5.
I rolled max falling damage, and the "parachute" acted more like a millstone because flax linen is not a light material.


TheBlackPlague wrote:
Latrans wrote:
I’ve had an honorable mention. Party has been fighting this flying snake woman at the top of a 180ft tall tower. Very tough fight, gunslinger is the only one that can regularly hit her.
This sounds suspiciously like a notoriously difficult boss fight in a certain AP...

Yep, that was her.


zza ni wrote:

first time gamer play an Elf wizard (because Tolkin...)

first encounter , they are out in the woods and 5 wolves approach them.
player(Elf) : "i pet the wolf closer to me"
me : " he takes a bite of your hand..."

didn't actually killed him, but with 1d4 hp (2nd ed) he was damn near close.

'Because Tolkien' people should not be given elves! I had one of those way back.

1.
-The trolls flank you while you're on horseback.
-I jump into the air, hit the one, flip over in the saddle and hit the second one.

2.
-What do you mean I cannot cross the great chasm on a tightrope?

Didn't get killed but by the end he was missing sooooooooo many body parts...


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A few years ago I was running a Star Wars d20 game for my son and a friend. He had never played a table top RPG before and could not separate it from his video game experiences. Running from and firing back at Stormtroopers on their tails, they dash through the airlock of the Imperial space station to their ship. He turns and throws a thermal detonator, thinking it would just kill the troopers and not harm anything around it. He blew the ship off its moorings and the players were blown out into the vacuum of space.


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One of the guys I GM for had a belt that allowed him to control gravity in a small radius around him. The party was being questioned about a couple of murders and eventually the guards decided to arrest them. The player used the belt to fly up as fast as possible and got about 120 feet into the air. When a fight broke out on the ground he decided to try to ground pound one of the guards. He shot back to Earth at twice the normal speed and body slammed a guard. They both died horribly and we're smushed together so that any resurrection attempt would surely go horribly wrong. After that, the party surrendered peacefully.


I’ve had 2 characters die but not out of stupidity, just the way they happened kinda sucked. The first was because of an NPC who had screwed over their former boss and party who had been a long time nemesis of ours. My character an elf wizard and a bit eccentric had figured her out fairly quickly as she was working on screwing the party over. I decided to bring some authorities over to arrest her because of a bounty she had, we were a bit notoriuos ourselves but the “law” thought us to be small fish in a big pond. Needless the archer sniped me out thinking I was turning on the party. They did pay for a nice funeral, and were surprised when she turned on them.

Second one was playing a human barbarian (both games were 2nd ed ad&d), we had a player who in the past was extremely disruptive. Party would decide to take the right path at the fork in the road and they would go the opposite way or vice versa. They wanted to play in a game with the promise he wouldn’t do that again. Like suckers we said okay fine, enter abandoned tower with most of the floors rotting or just not there. He wants to explore, finds a sleeping owlbear and decides he wants to poke it and gets mad that the barbarian doesn’t come to rescue. Other things happen throughout and being tired of having to protect him when he did other stupid things, I charged a group of orcs transporting greek fire as an archer sniped a barrel. Kaboom, nothng left to bring back to have this players back.


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One other. This was a while back - we were playing AD&D 2e I think. Our rule on identical initiative scores was that the actions happened simultaneously. The kobolds were about to pour boiling oil on the wizard/rogue climbing up to them. Simultaneous actions. He decided that he had to catch all of them with his burning hands spell - which worked but the boiling oil ignited beautifully.


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Mystic_Snowfang wrote:

So, what is the dumbest PC (or NPC) death you've witnessed?

As in, the character did something extremely stupid and then died.

We had a character antagonize an evil intelligent construct, get blasted and then attempt fisticuffs with a dragon. He would have survived dragon fisticuffs if he hadn't gotten hurt in such a dumb manner. The healer said he wasn't going to waste resources on stupid.

Possibly the least wise thing I've ever seen is a fighter who split from the rest of the party and tried to solo an Umber Hulk because "he wanted to get all the treasure."

The group couldn't even find out which way he went in order to collect his corpse. :)

Shadow Lodge

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I was playing as a syrinx once (the snooty owl folk) who always took every opportunity to tell people that they were horifically violent, or that their religion was holding them back intellectually.

Even though the cavern-dwelling lizard people were friendly and helpful toward us, their society was based on a cargo cult. So of course my character decided to liberate them from their incorrect superstitions, and one of the guard robots that was standing around the object of their worship picked her up and slammed her against a wall a couple of times.

Not only did she refuse to accept the fact that this had killed her, she eventually demanded to try again. This time, she managed to convince the other PCs to join in and didn't die a second time.

The GM felt bad, but I told her that I was willing to accept the consequences of my actions (even though my character didn't). She would continue to receive humorous comeuppance throughout the adventure, but she never even shifted to LN.


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We had a player shoot a whistling arrow into the entryway of a dungeon thinking it would be a good idea for them to come to us rather then us go to them.

This seemed to work as enemies starting coming out of the dungeon and we entered combat. The problem was that the enemies didn't stop coming. To make things worse, these were no pushovers; there were well over a dozen difficult enemies with several that would take a round or more of attacks from multiple party members to bring down. 2 of us were killed by the onslaught, and 2 managed to escape.

After this was all over someone asked the GM why the encounter was so tough and he told us that every enemy within 500 feet of the path of the arrow received a perception check to hear the arrow so we ended up fighting several encounters worth of enemies at once.


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If only I had a nickel for every time the 3rd-level cleric in their shiny new full-plate refused to take it off when they got on the boat....


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Back 3.5e we had an exceptionally brave, yet stupid, character full on charge the BBEG half way through dude's speech. BBEG happens to be a vampire, and cares not about the greataxe he was hit with. Thematically the vampire just pulled it out of his chest because natural 20 or not, mundane weapons just don't work...

Vincent was then handed his greataxe back by the vampire that now took over his mind. Vincent didn't have good will saves.

Vincent came back with his greataxe, and since none of us were spellcasters and could break the charm, I killed Vincent with my double bladed sword.

Dumbest way to die is making your friends kill you because of weak will saves...

Liberty's Edge

A player playing a Monk in Curse of the Crimson Throne use acrobatics to land in the middle of Mr. Giggles and his group of children before convincing the children to help him (IE didn't try too)

He ended up dying to Mr. Giggles and the children since he landed in the middle and ended up flat footed. I'd say this was the worst one, but just remembered, in the same game the wizard died a bit earlier to the Acid Splash Wand and a critical


...The wizard died from taking a maximum of 6 damage?


"Go ahead; 'Fireball' the room; I have Evasion!"

Mm-kay....

(Ally knows I'm running a "Blockbuster" caster build.)


So many stupid deaths...to pick one...oh. yeah. that.

So back a good long time ago, in the 2nd Ed days we were doing this game where there was a prophecy where the paladin in our group would take this sword we found and beat a Balor that had a prophecy of breaking out of his prison and taking over the kingdom. Somewhere along the way my wizard got a hold of 2 scrolls with circle of protection vs this Balor by name. We're level 9, and the cultists we just hunted down manage to free the Balor right in front of us as they were defeated by us.

We're level 9, its a full on Lord of the Abyss. Naturally I pop the scroll of protection immediately. But what does prophecy boy do? He has the sword, the demon is here. He has the prophecy to back him up. Never mind that the whole middle bit where this demon takes over hasn't happened yet the paladin is *convinced* this is his time to act!

After the entire party tells him not to, he charges out of the circle of protection and...dies in the first round. He couldn't even hit the Balor. We try to raise him later, but the player refuses the rez and starts a bard that is related to the paladin. Cute, now we have to make a broken prophecy work...so frustrating and I was just a player!

Dark Archive

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Party: All right, you're bad at stealth so Just stay back here and wait for us to give you the signal.
Me: Got it wait here, listen for a signal
Party Leaves
I get up and walk away from the table to get a snack, gone maybe 15 minutes.
I get back and ask if I'd been signaled and how long has passed. I hadn't and it had been about 15 minutes.
Me: Wait here for a signal
Wait there for signal
Go over there for signal
Go over there for sandals
Goats for sandals.
Oh boy, they are trading goats for sandals.

I ran up to the fort and knocked. Killed two soldiers and a wizard, before I fell to the 4th color spray and was killed.


AD&D2ed, Throne of Bloodstone module (lvl 18-100)

After six sessions, party of 5 (18+ lvl) reaches the front door of Orcus' keep in the Abyss.

The wizard casts Detect Magic (of course its magical.) There was no "Spellcraft" so it was an Intel check to try to discern the properties; succeeds = "Abjuration/enhancement."

So he knows it is protective magic and enhanced somehow.

Wizard: "I cast Lighting Bolt at the door."
DM: (rechecks module) "OK, roll damage"
Wizard: Rolls 18d6
DM: "Make a Saving Throw vs Spells as the bolt arcs out from your fingertips, strikes the door, it is absorbed, builds in power and strikes back along the same line to you at double the strength."
Wizard: (fails save, dies.)


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Mystic_Snowfang wrote:

So, what is the dumbest PC (or NPC) death you've witnessed?

As in, the character did something extremely stupid and then died.

We had a character antagonize an evil intelligent construct, get blasted and then attempt fisticuffs with a dragon. He would have survived dragon fisticuffs if he hadn't gotten hurt in such a dumb manner. The healer said he wasn't going to waste resources on stupid.

Years ago playing Justice, Inc. Our swashbuckler type was climbing to safety up a rope to a dirigible, when the bad guys started climbing up after him.

GM: What do you do?
Player: I cut the rope (accompanying gesture was a slashing motion ABOVE his head)
GM: What do you do? (somewhat incredulously)
Player: I cut the rope (gesture a slashing motion ABOVE his head)
GM: On last time tell me what you do?
Player: (gestures over head in slashing motion) I CUT THE ROPE.
GM: Ok
Player: s!#$ I mean I cut the rope below me
GM: ahhh, Nope.
Dead swashbuckler.


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Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

RotR was the first adventure I ever ran (badly), so my original group decided to trek through it a second time 5 years later (Much better). We had 2 new additions to our gaming group which also joined us one of them was a half-orc samuraii who has been described by the group as a classic chaotic stupid character. Our group isn't without whimsy but this guy did the most to be "THAT character". . .

Rise of the Runelords:
After getting himself killed by the undead Aldern, they transported his body to Magnimar to pull their resources to raise him. After his Resurrection, the party faced against off Xanesha in the clock tower roof. I had made sure to emphasis that she was flying around them and there were unstable scaffolding outcropping the tower several times. His first move is to charge towards her through the scaffolding, one failed acrobatics chack and a 200 foot drop later the rest of the party had come to the consensus that he had made peace with Pharasmam and would not be returning to the table.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber

Pro-tip: If you are a Life Oracle, Dual-Cursed is a risky proposal, given that breaking Life Link takes the same action that Misfortune does.


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When you're wheezing on the ground between two rogues with unspent AoOs, don't try to stand up.

(I finally remembered how that darn fool died in my post on the first page.)


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Greater Invisibility when the monster has tremorsense so the rest of the party can't see to heal you...
I liked that little kobold ninja...


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Fighter- I jump in the water after them!
DM- Your wearing full plate.
Fighter- I'm jumping in
*Many rounds of failed swim checks later
Party Rouge- Dibs on his bow


Monk dies, and it is not the monks fault.

Monk jumps into a dark pit, can see some oozes further along that the players above can't see. Sorceror casts stinking cloud to 'help'.

Monk can no longer see, and fails fort save - oozes have blindsight and are unaffected by stinking cloud.

The other front liners were understandably reluctant to drop into the cloud. The ranged attackers can't do much through the cloud.


Getting up from your bath in a freezing lake too early, due to the monsters below the surface. During the full moon. While under the effect of a powerful fey geas requiring you to spend that day of the month in water.

What can I say; don’t stumble upon bathing nymphs in the Gronzi Forest, they’ll stick a curse on you.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Player says his PC pulls the stake out of a dead vampire's chest.

GM: "Do you really want to do that??"

Player: "Yes!"

The longer version of the story...

Dark Archive

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In a Shadowrun campaign we were doing a HALO drop to infiltrate a mountain stronghold. One guy had a character that was a chain smoking femme fatale. While doing the HALO, he decided to have her light a cigarette inside of her oxygen mask. He blew up. The GM was nice enough to let her undo her action and go on with the game as this was within the first 10 minutes. Later, she found some C4 and decided to put her lit cigarette in the explosive, so that when the cigarette burns down, it will set it off. However, C4 requires an electrical charge to detonate, not fire. The blasting cap and a timer were lying right next to the C4, but she decided to use the cigarette instead for thematic reasons. The guys that she didn't blow up ended up catching up to her and killed her. The guy playing her was pissed.


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"I trust these NPCs, and will enter their village as a show of good will."
*gets torn to shreds by the dinosaurs hiding behind the wall*


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I watched a player's character get beaten to death with a club by a Dwarf who was supposed to be a helpful NPC. The player just started fighting him because he "looked threatening".


When I first acted as DM for friends, I saw a critical failure almost kill a PC with full hp. This one was my fault, I was 15 and stupidly copied what I had seen used in other games without thinking just how deadly it was and how it was not the same game (well, he did manage to get a natural 1, then I had him confirm the critical failure and he managed another natural 1, then I asked him a damage roll and he rolled full damage. As a lvl 1. Big weapon. Had to have his leg reattached).

But when the players who witness it ask me to keep going with the hardcore mode even after I tell them I'm very sorry that I killed them by not applying the right set of rules and I'm ready to switch back to the canon, they're basically stupidly asking to die, right?

Grand Lodge

Hasn't killed this player yet, but a few of us have written him off-
Ironfang Invasion, book 2-

Spoiler:
Party of my Ifrit Ranger (Sword Devil), human archer (fighter/slayer?), dwarf paladin, half-orc witch, and Suli bloodrager are scouting out an old fortress looking to turn into our base- it's on an island in the middle of a river, in the middle of a ravine. It's occupied by some hobgoblins and a black dragon. So recon!
We begin scouting out, and we roll stealth to observe the fortress. Bloodrager fails and the guards call out; he steps out into the open. *collective facepalming ensues*
"Who are you?"
"I'm a mercenary, looking for work. You hiring?"
GM: Roll bluff (he rolls sense motive)
Bloodrager rolls low on bluff.
"Sure, we could use another hand. Approach."
Bloodrager approached bridge leading to fortress.
GM: Now, roll will save as you hear a voice calling for help.
Bloodrager fails, and promptly jumps into the ravine and river.

While the other archer and my ranger keep the camp preoccupied, the Witch uses flight hex on himself to see if the bloodrager survived- and finds him in a stupor at the bottom of the river- slowly drowning. Then the witch himself is grappled and dragged under the water. Kelpies

The Dwarf Paladin is attempting to help, but in heavy armor and negative swim, unless the other player and I literally jump in to save the Bloodrager and Witch, he's not going to be there on time to help either. We're debating...

Earlier, this bloodrager also had a bad run-in with a Mimic like creature


Playing 3.5 a number of years back. There's a pit containing swarms of demonic spiders.

Player: "I run and jump over the pit".
DM: "You can just walk around it".
Player: "I know but jumping over it will look cool".
Player fails the jump, falls into the pit and is swiftly consumed.

Not a death but the very same player mentioned above joined us last session with a bard. The party is in a tavern that is built out over the sea. The tavern gets attacked by fleshwarped/mutant sea creatures and the bard becomes the focus of one of the monsters.

To escape he casts Blink and proceeds to phase through the floor of the tavern. Into the sea below. We were being attacked by mutant sea creatures. Which came from the sea.

He only survived by virtue of the somewhat forgiving death mechanics we use and some mild metagaming on my part.

Here's an entertaining story I read just the other day: Head of Vecna: http://www.blindpanic.com/humor/vecna.htm

I'd link it but the site won't show how to format text.


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

Interesting that the Show button next to "How to format your text" seems to be broken.

Basically, it's the url tag. The start tag is <open bracket>url=<fill in the url here><close bracket>Enter Text to be hyperlink<open bracket>/url<close bracket>

Here's an example: Google
If you reply to my message, the tag code should be revealed in the quoted text.


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A dragon turtle attacked the barge we were on, and my level 17 Fighter was looking out at the river while leaning against the rail. I failed my Reflex save and fell into the river. Never saw the monster. Didn't even have time to shout before I hit the water. Just fell in the water head first while wearing full plate armor and DROWNED. The party didn't notice I was gone until the fight was over and they were safely ashore.

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