Villain's Anonymous - Failure Night


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion


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Welcome fellow Miscreants, Hench persons and dare I say other villain's. It would appear my grand scheme to go out and make my mark in the world has not gone exactly as planned. First I got separated from my scouting party. I was primarily there to make sure they had some magical back-up, however being as I am a specialized wizard of Creation and prohibited against Conjuration & Evocation I doubt it would have been much, but I digress.

Shortly after my wandering aimlessly I was accosted by an annoying blue Kobold from some place called "kelepish"? Not sure I understood it too well at the time. Worse it was affiliated with a Warpriest some weird sword swinging lady of overzealousness whom forcefully told me I would repent of evil or be killed, Wisely I just chose to nod my head and smile. Lastly
a woman of half-elven nature that seemed to think I was some kind of 'Cave-elf'

Now here I am, I have gained a great deal of power over my time with the group, with a tavern to show for my troubles on an island in the middle of no where. Although, they are building a statue of us after saving them from ancient cult of storm worshiping idiots, Lizardfolk and cannibalistic halflings.

Now here I am telling you my story for a little support from fellow Villain's. Any advice? So far the only thing of worth it seems is the islanders seem to have no idea that I am anything other than a strangely dark skinned elf. I have been thinking of altering the population as it seems to have an overly large amount of males compared to females and wonder if any of you might have tried something similar, or should I start small and ease myself back into trying to be evil.... It just seems so hard these days, well thanks for listening, just good to have support groups these days. Of course I am also here to hear your woes of villainous failings and will offer what support I can to you as well.

[This is what happens when I guess I can't sleep and decide I had to much fun earlier with another poster XD, welcome to villain's anonymous where the idea is general conversation for helping people playing redeeming evil characters that still think they're evil.]


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'Hello Veldrin, we're here to help. I know it seems like such a chore to take those first steps back on that path to villainy. An object at rest... momentum and all that. Just remember, sometimes you need to be the boulder that rolls down the hill and crushes the village. Start small; do things to people you couldn't possibly care less about, like adventurers. Soon you'll find it easy to completely disregard others' feelings. Even an ineffectual cave-elf like you should be able to do it.'

Convince your fellow party-members that you've had visions of a great evil coming forth from the former stronghold of the cultists. Get their help building cunning traps that only an adventurer could come up with, to keep in any evil and to keep out any forces trying to release it. Then seal it behind a cunning puzzle or door lock requiring a specifically-constructed staff or object (which you all then destroy, to seal the evil inside forever). You don't want anyone getting in without coming to see you, of course. As a creation master, you should be able to recreate the specific item needed to bypass the seal.

Say you are retiring, to watch over the beloved villagers and let them move on, then begin spreading rumors to other places about an abandoned temple on an island with a prophecy of an hidden evil coming forth and only brave heroes can stop it. Lure adventuring parties to the village, tell sad tales of how the simple people were once saved by a brave party but now it has returned. Sell lots of ale, then offer (reluctantly, and for a religious sacrifice of gold) to reopen the seal to the cultist's stronghold, by 'conjuring' up the required object.

You've also had the old temple repopulated by creatures and other dangers as well as traps designed by your incredibly cunning patsies... err party. Wait until they are killed, go in, re-collect any adventuring gear you sold or that they brought from their bodies, resell it to the next group, scatter a bit of loot and coins about the rooms again, then repeat. If 'adventurers' do survive, maybe they kill a beast in there and you proclaim they've held off the evil, or if they find nothing you just thank them for their courage and say you'll just have to remain vigilant. Then you sell them passage on a ship back home and mention how the villagers would love to build a statue to honor them... if only someone would contribute to the statue fund ("And look at these statues of former heroes here, so you know they'll do it...")


Ah thank you, yes this does indeed sound like the best way to move forward for me. The Kobold is not surprisingly good at making traps and secret passages (and has done so quite a bit I suspect while it 'helped' rebuild the town's wealthier homes), and the easiest to get to go along with the plan. The annoying thing has often said I'm it's 'good luck charm'.

The warpriest might take the most to convince, never sat through one of it's sermon's long enough awake to really figure out how to talk with it without getting them some what annoyed.

The Half-elf would likely be useful in arming the place with summoning traps or evocations. She has spoken up for me quite a bit surprisingly, she was raised among humans and hasn't met 'another elf ever' but more importantly she appears to be one of those people that have a divine connection given to them. She calls herself an 'oracle of waves'. Don't really know much about them, but I have seen her cast things I have greater difficulty with.

Investing back in this small island town, would help keep any dangerous adventurer's off my back as well. Last thing I'd need is a Paladin showing up and trying to kill me as I served up the Ale to them. Any advice on how to deal with such individuals? I was debating making items of Infernal healing so that the users would radiate an aura of evil while they are worn.

Hoping this would confuse would-be heroic Paladins from using their 'detect evil' ability and trusting it all the time.


There are magics which should be within your capability that confuse or deflect the senses of pesky paladins. Misdirection (with the alternate target being one of the clergy of that sun goddess everyone loves) is one possibility.


Ah that's true, I'll have to check my spell book but I do believe that could be very well be of use.

I don't suppose anyone has ever made this spell into a paired item so that the wearer's aura can be shifted on a more permanent basis, or at least so long as they're worn. Could be useful for future patsies er partners.


Spend some time shoring up your story. Speak with and occasionally charm the villager shaman or chief to where he will listen to your story. You don't want him charmed all the time, that's detectable. Tell him your sad tale about how you have fiendish or evil ancestry, due to some horrible atrocity in your family long ago. You've turned against it, but like certain outsiders, you still bear the evil stigma. This way, if anyone questions you, you can direct them to ask around or speak to others. Since the chief or shaman will be telling a story that they believe to be true, things like detect lies or Sense Motive will be of less usefulness. You can always say that you just don't want to discuss it. A lot of times, it's better not to come out and say it, it's best to let them 'conclude' it, from their own investigations and then they feel like they've figured out a secret, rather than whether or not they're trying to determine a lie or not.

Alternatively, if any paladin does mention that they detect evil, you can mention that due to your ancestral bloodline, that's always been your curse to bear. In fact, you can prove it, if only they're will to cast detect good on you. After all, what paladin can claim to be truly righteous and just if they base their actions on a faulty, and clearly one-sided spell. Assuming you can convince them to cast a detect good spell, what most people forget is that characters actively planning a good action will detect as good.

A lot of people forget that those with actively evil thoughts at the time will detect as such. Since you know exactly when they're casting detect good, you can have actively good thoughts. You just need to contemplate a good action or sufficiently good intention, such as feeding that homeless villager child or making a donation to the local orphanage or shrine (For OOC purposes and to avoid abusing the system, it should actually be an action that you will do. So make sure you actually are willing or fully intend to do whatever it is). With the undeniable fact that you are detecting as good (whether you are neutral or evil), clearly the evidence that your story is at least plausible, or plausible enough that any paladin other than the most egregiously irresponsible (or actually cunning enough to see through it) should at least be placated enough to hear out the tale about the 'dangerous dungeon' nearby, and willing to at least investigate it themselves first.

Detect Evil wrote:
Creatures with actively evil intents count as evil creatures for the purpose of this spell.

And that's advice you can trust! After all, I'm one of the good guys! ['Help Veldrin Faer with his existential dilemma for free...' 'Help that ineffectual cave-elf with his problem....' 'Help make the world safe from unjust persecution at the hands of one-sided detection spells...' 'Pizza Lord, old boy, you're one of the good ones...']


Took a few days but I have managed to start new construction on the temple. The Kobold added some nice arrow traps in the corridors, the warpriest helped create some summoning traps that are triggered by Chaotic individuals, they should refresh daily. The main room that was being used to summon the storm has been shut off with new doors having been added and locked up. I've set up a main summoning trap with Detect Good as the trigger after we 'locked' the room away.

Later today I intend to go back and animate the dead temple people as a mixture of zombies and skeletons, after I place a few minor magical items around the place. Need to see if any of my old contacts might be able to get me some divine scrolls to help enhance the building before I animate and release. Maybe a scroll of Desecrate.

So far feeding the poor with my powers of Major Creation and cooking skills has made me quite popular among the villagers when they have poor fishing days. Which in turn seems to get me an unlimited supply of apples from the village gatherer's. Construction has also started on a proper harbor and housing at the docks also lead by myself with magic. Which is starting to help with visiting ships.

Getting ready to set up a light house as well. My long lifespan is certainly going to be quite helpful to me I believe in the long run for this plan.


Splendid! Apples are great sources for mead or moonshine, depending on your brewing style. Their seeds are also good sources of cyanide (granted it takes a lot, a whole lot), assuming you have an ethanol catalyst to distill the amygdalin, and you should, being a brewer. Although a good fabricate and some GM leeway might allow you to do it (assuming you've got Craft (poison)). After all, it would be a shame not to 'touch up' some of those arrow traps after the kobold moves on.


Hello, my name is Meida Sugimatu. I hear the gasp from some of you. What is a hero like me, the famed imperial oracle of Minkai and wife of the respected former Jade Regent Soto Takahiro, doing in Villains Anonymous? I feel that I will gain your respect by admitting that my heroism is entirely a lie. Having a master bard among your allies can perform wonders for your reputation.

Some may recall that I used to be Meida Renshii, of the notorious Renshii clan. Minkaian playwrights simply had to name a character Renshii for the audience to know that that character was treacherous. And it was not simply a family reputation. I helped assassinate my emperor Shigure Higashiyama, with my own knife in his back, so that his presumably noble bodyguard, my beloved Soto, could remain regent permanently. Soto was the figurehead while his grandfather, the oni Ananurumon, ruled from behind the throne. I was planning on assassinating Ananurumon at my convenience, so that Soto and I could rule, but for the first few years we would need Ananurumon's army of oni and ninjas to hold onto our power.

Then the gods misstepped and offered greater victory into my hands. A band of heroes, who I had recently discovered included a legitimate lost heir to the Jade Throne, kidnapped me. And in their presence, my oracular spirits revealed a secret that the Renshii clan was founded by outcasts of the imperial Sugimatu clan. I myself could be an heir to the throne, if a true emperor forgave the taint on our family. We made a deal. I would betray my evil allies to put their candidate, Amaya Amatatsu, on the throne. In return, she would acknowledge that I and my relatives are Sugimatu, worthy of the throne ourselves. And my first-born child would be Amaya's heir.

I saved Soto Takahiro when the heroes slew Ananurumon, and we soon married during the celebration of the new empress Amaya Amatatsu. And now that my son Hiro is born, I cannot help but wonder. My husband is an experienced regent, and the bardic tales spun by Amaya's sister Ameiko have washed away the memory of the cruelty of his rule. If the empress met a sudden end, he and I would become the regents over our son, ruling in his name until he could take the throne. Why should I wait decades to become the emperor's mother, when I could rule now?

As for our dark-skinned elven friend, my advice is to always have someone else to blame your evil upon. Betrayal is a tool that can be used many times if you appear to be the lesser of two evils. I would have sacrificed Soto himself, the cruel Jade Regent, if necessary to preserve my life, but I saved him to possibly serve that role later.

I had not realized the significant of dark skin on an elf. One of the wiley heroes, a half-elf arcanist named Arc, has such skin. He is too clever and will need to die, too.

Author's note: This did happen during my Jade Regent campaign. However, though the lost heir was Neutral Good, most of the party was not of Good alignment. The half-drow arcanist, the kitsune sorcerer, and human ninja decided on a preemptive strike without telling the new empress. Meida and Soto were found assassinated, with evidence that the oni did it, and only their infant son Hiro survived.


Hello, anonymous villain. So you have reached that point where you wonder whether it is wiser to strike now or hold off on your inclinations for power. My advice in this situation is to take the long road. Continue to build your power, utilize the bard for her abilities by continuing to accompany and assist her and her companions and let them build your reputation. Do not strike at the empress directly. Such figures tend to be protected by destiny and also people tend to use divinations and such to ferret out treachery.

Instead, foment trouble along the kingdom's border by making secret alliances (through intermediaries if necessary) with any hostile neighbors, nations, bandits, or monstrous humanoids in the hills. If you can get a war started, and somehow have the empress captured or killed by enemy soldiers or assassins (of which you had nothing to do with, though somehow they found that secret passage) then most people won't waste time trying to solve a mystery. Make sure you are prepared to deal with the enemy troops in case they decide not to leave.

If the empress's adventuring companions seem inclined to stick around and make your plans harder, mention an oracular vision about a cult and temple on an island nearby, and how you sense there is a great danger brewing, possibly a villain in the making (true). If you have to, accompany them and offer your service, like delay poison potions or spells while they enjoy their delicious apple juice in the tavern before heading into the temple and getting shot by poisoned arrow traps. Then, after they've got a nice cocktail of waiting poisons, dispel the delay poison and let them get hit with all the poison saves at one time. Inhaled poisons work better with this, since doses stack all at once, and heroes tend to get stupidly brave and taunty when they think they're immune to something; just standing around in a gas cloud laughing at the stupid bad guy's traps; thinking their just gonna down an antitoxin by the time delay poison wears off or get a neutralize poison to handle them all at once. All the while, you're just totaling up every round of inhalation. The good thing is, you automatically succeed at removing your own spells with a greater dispel (for the area effect), so not even a chance of failure.


Lord of the kingdom of Pizza, your words have great merit. The Sugimatu family was famed for their diplomatic skills, and now that I am Sugimatu, international relations will be my natural role. The protectors of the empress will suspect nothing. I already know of several cults on islands near Minkai.

As for enemy soldiers, my period of captivity by the heroes let me observe how they destroyed an army of 150 oni. Like a proper aristocrat, she let the warriors among her companions lead the assault, while she devoted her healing magic to the common soldiers on her side.

As for poison, I have shared a table with Empress Amaya. She is an oracle of power similar to mine and has the habit of casting Purify Food and Drink before every meal. The guileless woman gladly shared the story of how she acquired such habits, one poisoning attempt by distant minions of Ananurumon and another poisoning attempt by a completely unrelated adversary. Her more wary bodyguard is a ninja of the Tiger's Tears clan, a truly minor clan that specializes in preparing poisons for others. She can detect poison by scent alone and instructed the empress in her mealtime precautions. I fear we are outclassed in that particular expertise.

However, the greater respect earned for the Tiger's Tears clan has created envy among previously highly esteemed ninja clans. I could exploit that to engage a ninja of extraordinary skill for the final blow against Amaya. But I will heed your wisdom: I must find a sacrificial intermediary to make the contract for assassination, a fool who will think the assassination is their own idea.

Mathmuse's Note: Pizza Lord, your evil schemes are good, but my players were better. You remind me of how careful their characters were, never getting caught flatfooted, either for real or in metaphor. The ninja PC did instruct Amaya to cast Purify Food and Drink on every meal once she spotted the poisoning attempt by the Frozen Shadows ninjas, and months later that stopped a poisoning attempt in a side quest in a supplemental module. Though unusual choices for a time oracle, Amaya's known spells include Remove Curse, Remove Disease, and Neutralize Poison.


Tagging along with a bunch of blundering dogooders seeking glory for themselves and their backwards gods can be very tedious, but it's usually very profitable. I say for the time being, let them have their time in the Sun. Let them sleep the sleep of the self-righteous as you watch over them, sharpening your knives. There is certainly no rush to do it while your assocciation with them stays profitable.

As Giovanni de Medici said, "Do not draw attention to yourself... never go on your own to the House of Government. Wait to be summoned."

As Grand Negus Zek says, "You don't seize power: you accumulate it quietly!"

As Lord Varis says, "The best way to accumulate power is through patience."

Veldrin Faer wrote:
Now here I am, I have gained a great deal of power over my time with the group, with a tavern to show for my troubles on an island in the middle of no where.... Any advice?

As Grand Negus Zek says, "The bar: that's the key!" Let the customers bend your ear as they bend their elbows. Listen to everything. Size up the other patrons that might be adventurers themselves. Figure out which rumors the party should set their sights on, and figure out which to send rival parties on. Collect tips for your tips. Send parties more powerful then yourselves to soften up encounters and help yourself to the leavings.

Veldrin Faer wrote:
Investing back in this small island town, would help keep any dangerous adventurer's off my back as well. Last thing I'd need is a Paladin showing up and trying to kill me as I served up the Ale to them. Any advice on how to deal with such individuals?

You own the bar! The minute that Paladin draws his sword on you, every sword, spear, bow and pitch fork will be drawn on him! Every now and then, buy everyone in the bar a round of drinks. Your message to them? Tell them that murdering people to justify their racial hatred isn't exactly what is called a Good Act. They can detect your Evil? Tell them that you are trying to be a Good person, but it's hard. Tell them that you are here serving Goodness and comfort by the mugfull, bu tif they want, they can preach the word of the Annoying Ones right on top of one of your tables, and as a bonus, they get to keep all the food that's thrown at them, free of charge.


I must admit I had never thought any so powerful as those from the Jade Kingdoms would ever grace my presence, and these Giovanni and Grand Negus seem to have excellent advice as well.

Thus far my day has gone with weaving magic's to make the island community a great deal better, and the apple recipes I have will certainly be useful. But the island itself will need more than an evil temple I fear to draw in locals.

I had an idea for my tavern as part of an arcane school, of illusions. Nothing horrid, no conjuring's [except by myself of course in creational magic] or evocations. I might not be a master of the Illusionary Arts but my spellbook for now has several ample spells that might make my tavern a school. My workers can be students learning to use magic to clean and tidy, perhaps even disguise themselves. I understand pleasures of the flesh do seem limited, but perhaps not so much with small bits of magic learning, then to create network more, useful students. I had heard of others creating these Arcane Societies usually from such 'innocent' locations and people. As time is something I have a great deal of, perhaps I might use some of it to make my own Kingdom. Maybe not as grand as the kingdom of Jade, but perhaps one that might gain future allies with such grand future rulers?

Have to admit, I am at least far more long term thinking than my old house members. Far too Chaotic for my liking.

I do like the imagery of a Paladin being attacked by the locals and adventurers alike. I think indeed I will strive for that with a few well placed 'drinks for all'

Also set up a local curse to the far waters from here, it'll take a few years but it should see the local population mostly being born with females, another reason to invite outsiders I think in 20 to 30 years as there numbers in males lower in birthrate.

If I'm going to live somewhere, it might as well have a bit more scenery for me I think, as well as a few problems to try and assist in fixing in a few years.

As for the half-breed, if he's of my people it's surprising he has lived, I'm not even sure what grand star of good fortune helps me run into people whom have not heard of my kind. But so much the better to survive for me. If he has crossed you and must die, worry not, my kind don't seem to have kinship with our own, even a half of one. If I can assist feel free to ask.

Writers Note: Veldrin has been a character I've used many a years in my gaming time as a two-bit scary wanna-be villain [that often got roped into heading off into adventures by others, often heroes]. He has real potential and as my group has run into him a time or two. It seem's to be nearing a time to have them run into him again. Surprisingly, no one tends to notice when he says his prohibited school is Conjuration, when the Creation Focused School, is Conjuration. He's not good at Evocations or Necromancy XD dead things....ick.... still he has a few spells here and there.


[Meida Sugimatu wrote:
Pizza Lord, your evil schemes are good, but my players were better. You remind me of how careful their characters were, never getting caught flatfooted, either for real or in metaphor. The ninja PC did instruct Amaya to cast Purify Food and Drink on every meal once she spotted the poisoning attempt by the Frozen Shadows ninjas, and months later that stopped a poisoning attempt in a side quest in a supplemental module. Though unusual choices for a time oracle, Amaya's known spells include Remove Curse, Remove Disease, and Neutralize Poison.

Ahh, such careful and dogmatic methods are quite prudent. However, the valuable lesson that the wise would do well to learn... is not to become complacent.

Detect poison and purify food and drink are so simple to cast. You could practically do them all day long and maybe the truly paranoid do. But all that casting tends to give a false sense of security and make one careless. Not unlike the worrisome man who constantly washed his hands for fear of dirt and grime and germs... but ultimately infected himself with waterborne toxins or parasites. You see, do you know what purify food and drink doesn't remove? The poison on a glass, a goblet, or a fork. Let your empress cast her spells on the food, let her cast it upon the wine or water. Then let her drink from the tainted goblet with its contact poison or ingested toxin lining the rim. Make certain you choose a poison that has a long onset time, so as not to alert them until you are ready (likely as they sleep after their dinner and they've had sips from many goblets that any good (and gloved, in the case of contact poison) servants would naturally be replacing or swapping in and out to be filled.

As for detect poison, that will certainly catch toxins on cutlery and goblets, however, with some careful planning and a little etiquette, they won't even know what's really happening. For instance, who's to say that fine covered dish hasn't been surreptitiously lined with a lead foil. Ensure they cast their detections before it is unveiled. Afterwards, the purification has no effect on the knife or fork or spoon that lay beside the meal on the platter beneath. If you are poisoning a goblet, make sure the goblets are not in the area of the spell, but focus all attention on the food, drink, bottles of wine all laid out on the table (it is a 5-foot cube, which is likely a very modest empress's table, though they will likely cover every inch). Most people will focus on the food and drink, and after checking a wine bottle will think little of the goblet your trusted servant then brings or holds forth from standing right next them the whole time. A good nondetection spell can also prevent low level casting from detecting the poison, it's even harder if you have the item on your person until the right time, but that has it's own risks if you get caught.

Other tactics that you can consider, if not for this particular goal, but others, is that a magic potion is not affected by purify food and drink. This means a poison potion will not be purified. You will likely need to enlist the services of a druid (since it's 3rd level for them, the normal limit for potions). Also, since it's pretty fast-acting, that's where delay poison comes in. Slipping a potion or two into the drinks for the empress (just to make sure it isn't too diluted) will ensure there's no sudden warning from a saving throw (since it is a magic effect with no other visible effect, unlike a normal poison, which doesn't necessarily alert someone on a successful save).

You can also try and convince the empress that using delay poison is a valid and preferable procedure (not unlike her standard poison-protection methods). Get her to allow it to be cast and used (and let this go on for a while, so as to create a sense of normalcy for a time). For instance, you could mention how neutralize poison is far more costly power-wise (which means less casting) and also that it just goes off and is done (for curing, not suppressing venomous targets). So, even if her normal plan is to neutralize after every meal, most poisons kick in within one minute, meaning she may be injured or damaged, possibly unconscious at the first warning. Being able to neutralize poison doesn't help if the oil of taggit has put you unconscious or you've become nauseated.

Convince her of the wisdom in using the far less strenuous delay poison (preferably letting you cast it to build trust, but otherwise using a potion because those have lower caster levels for ease of dispelling when the time is right). Note that it lasts hours and remind her (with slight fear-mongering) that if a poison does slip past, she may not have a chance to do anything in time. Better to make sure the poisons are all held off until she can clear them all at once with her neutralize poison Just don't remind her that it's not fool-proof, there is still a check against the poison's DC, which is why you want delay since ingested and inhaled poisons will stack from multiple doses and DCs (injury type tends to get checked individually and only if the save is failed do they start stacking).

Then, when the time is right and you can do so with relative concealment or safety, a well-timed dispel can clear the delay poison before the target has a chance to do their normal neutralize and flood them with enhanced saves. I kind of like the effect of Red Bedlam, since by the time it takes effect, they are confused and may wander off on their own or even attack others (and most people will not consider poison as a culprit for confusion). Naturally, most guards and servants will not harm the empress in return, but who knows how everyone else will act if they too partook of the poison (and confused individuals automatically attack those who attack them with no random rolls needed).

After that, it's a short push to have servants gossip and local rumors that the empress is going mad. Luckily there is a tried and tested regent ready to handle the day-to-day operations while the empress is recuperating in the countryside (some nightmare vapors burned from the room below her bedchamber and seeping up or dropped into her fireplace from the chimney while she slumbers unknowingly will also help.) What I really like about those two poisons is that it doesn't seem like the confusion is a magical effect, so no dispelling it. Neutralize poison would work, but if they don't connect the dots... This means you can claim that you tried all sorts of things: protection from evil, detect magic, dispel magic (possibly using that as cover to nix any delay poisons still in effect on others during the confusion)... all to no avail. It must have been a powerful curse or caster.
Notably, Red Bedlam has its confusion written like it's the spell version and Nightmare Vapor doesn't, but I suspect that may just be a formatting style with D20PFSRD, since I see no caster level that would apply.

If her bodyguard truly can scent poison, that can be problematic. I am certain you can find a way to see that she can be indisposed (or disposed). After all... if poisoning is uncovered... well, it's not like you're the expert. A few bits of evidence in the right place and... well... those Tiger Tear's... who truly knows what their motives and goals are? Not you. You aren't the backstabbing, scheming type...


My goodness, sounds to me like those Tiger Tear's fellows might indeed be an evil group as well, or at least follow the list and as Pizza Lord has stated. That list as I understand it is.

Mysterious. Check.
Poison Knowledge. Check.
Martial Ability. Check.

Sounds like the makings of assassins to me my lady of jade. I can also recommend foods that while not poisonous themselves, when mixed together create the toxin within the body after eating. They merely have to eat a little of everything.

I have used it on occasion, back in the Darklands ruled by my kind. It tends to make life safer if one's enemies can be dealt with. However as proven by my sister, while very effective at bypassing magical defenses against detecting poison, it is not effective if a target misses a part of the recipe that creates the poison in there system. But if the component's are placed in every food that they enjoy...well then so long as they eat a whole meal, then they poison themselves.

Note: In a game using the ingredient list we where able to create a three part meal that would act as poison. Each additional severing made of the food increased the DC by 2


Meida Sugimatu wrote:
As for poison, I have shared a table with Empress Amaya. She is an oracle of power similar to mine and has the habit of casting Purify Food and Drink before every meal.

I have hired a newly-formed group of aspiring young adventurers to deliver a parcel to the famed and mysterious Jade kingdoms. It is a teakwood box, lined with silk, and contains a porcelain teacup that was part of a tea set known as "Summer's Sunset on Silver Sands" (roughly translated from its native tongue). I've no idea how it made its way to my territory or where the rest of the set is, but a certain collector might be interested in it.

I've learned it's something known as a toastmaster's teacup and in the right hands... when placed in the right hands... could be very useful in slipping past certain 'nosey' Tiger Tear ninjas. I haven't figured out all the command words, but I imagine that ones like 'Thank you' or 'Thanks' are common for the second, triggering command word. While there's a good chance that will be spoken while handing them the cup, it is possible they will say it before taking it. However, a simple declaration of a toast when they do, directed at the target, usually elicits at a least a murmured thanks. I kind of like 'Cheers' myself, as that's also easy to get a target to repeat while holding up the cup, though it is unlikely that the target of the toast will say 'Cheers'. As for the first command word, to aborb any toxins, that could be anything, though I prefer 'Machswelhowze', because it's good to the last drop.

I am a bit disappointed that the teacup's creator didn't think to mask its magical aura along with any absorbed toxins... but, that's the curse I bear; the ability to see so many differing angles of attack.

Those neophyte adventurers should be fully capable of handling a simple delivery quest. Afterwards, feel free to send them to investigate any bandits, monsters, or enemy patrols in the area. They did mention stopping off at an island on the way... I'm sure they'll be fine, though. What could possibly go wrong?

Sovereign Court

NO NEED FOR TRAP
ONLY BITE


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And this is why Her Majesty the Queen of Three Rivers was given an Periapt of Proof Against Poison. As her Minister of Trade (and spy master) I don't have time to intercept subtle assassination attempts. Much better for them to pass unaware of why they fail.

As a minister of the kingdom its much more important to focus on the needs of the kingdom. Nurturing several adventure parties that can be thrown at possible kingdom threats is a very cost effective way to handle business. This way you only have to reward success, much cheaper than outfitting an expedition.

Collect rumors, help along the beginners in your territory. Help them grow. And once they become interesting, throw them at a challenge you yourself feel unprepared for. Give them good intelligence, with only a few critical miscalculations included. Scry the group so you can get a preview of what to expect when you attempt the same hazard yourself. Take your time and send groups to each approach you discover. Play down the danger from that hazard until you feel ready to tackle it with the information you've gathered. I'm sure if any of the adventurers manage to survive they will be touched that you came to rescue them personally. Make sure you show them how relieved you are to find them alive and ask about their comrades. A little more information gathering never hurts.

Also, expand you're business concerns. Find enterprising young people, and exploit...er...encourage them. Once you can Fabricate start creating small merchant ships. Give those young people a sweet loan and tell them about trading opportunities. Especially opportunities that are legal but involve shady people. Leave it to them to make other deals. Gather blackmail on them. Use that to get them in touch with smugglers and pirates. Develop those contacts. You never want to contact them yourself, but through agents that you can dispose of if it becomes inconvenient. You could even summon a minor creature of some kind to act as your agent so you have an extra layer of protection.

Play a game of pit the pirates against you're political and economic rivals. Then pit your advnturers against those pirates. Make sure nobody gets wiped out in all this. If the pirates eliminate your enemies they won't have anyone else to prey on. The same applies to the pirates, make sure they get hurt but not destroyed. Let the adventurers take care of the leader, but keep a few prospects away from the hideout so they can start another band of pirates. Make sure the pirate bands you help are always successful until you're adventurers strike. That way they will be easy to manage.

All in all, make sure you keep everybody happy until they very suddenly aren't and you'll do fine.


*Reads the report from his marketplace contact and makes a notation in his journal.*
'Sold. One (1) periapt of placebosperiapt of proof against poison to royal procurer. Full price.'


Ah, I am also reminded that you should consider opening a bath house, that also has a barber. Offer the full spa treatment. Make sure you have some well trained followers that collect hair and nail samples from all the customers. We wouldn't want them falling into the wrong hands now would we?

Of course you use prestidigitation for the comfort of yourself and your party. It shouldn't be difficult to collect all sorts of other samples as well. You never know when you have to scry for someone. Really, nobody should be suspicious about this sort of benevolence.

Ah, and talking about scrying...if you have a great deal to do with construction in the local area why not add some artistic touches? Say a little game of hiding your likeness on different buildings and every room? Also give rewards with your smiling face on them. In the kingdom I serve I've made sure its founding fathers are on every coin we mint. This way if I need to cast Enter Image I'm sure I'll be able to collect information from all sorts of interesting places.

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