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Liberty's Edge

*holo-projects a giant UP arrow above Goblinbane's forehead*


R2-FU was promoted due to his psychological need to prove himself equal or better to his father, stemming from his unconscious competition with his father for hits mother's love.

I would suggest rigorous treatments of cocaine and LSD to counter this obvious psychological imbalance.

Siggy passes away, That Which Is Eternal within him leaving the desiccated husk of dried meat behind and ascending to a higher plane.

Silver Crusade


*crowns GoatToucher with a big paper hat with the word "PRO-MO-TI-ON" on it in gold glitter-glue*

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:pins a gold name tag to JOHNNY DEPP!'s lapel:


Toucher of Goats was promoted because he has all the blackmail photos.

The Exchange

Sergeant Baskerville was promoted for his brilliant new policy campaign for catching international drug mules: "Sniff Their Asses, Stupid!"

Tsogtsos was promoted because her promotion is a key component to causing the complete dissolution of international peace an a descent into a grim darkness where there is only war.

Liberty's Edge

Chuck Norris Prophet of Doom was promoted because Bruce Lee felt vaguely sorry for him.

Laser Clown of the 34th Century is hereby promoted to automatic callback to be the next Joker on Gotham.

The casting director took one look at him and said "Callback, practice your crazy laughter for tomorrows screen tests!"

Goth Guru was promoted to assistant pigkeeper.

Scarab Sages

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Sissyl was promoted on the grounds of being, quote, "like an Ingmar Bergman film incarnate".

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IHYC was promoted to "Deputy Sub-Chief of Obscure References".

Sovereign Court

GoatToucher was promoted thanks to his +6 Ascot of Persuasion.

Mercutio was promoted to corpse by Tybalt.

Liberty's Edge

Partylf Sunev was promoted to salad by a vengeful Rick Moranis.

Xavante was promoted into Odin's service by the mysterious disappearance of Munin.

Scarab Sages

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GoatToucher was promoted to "High Inquisitor de Chicken-Strip" as part of an attempted 'gritty reboot' of the original Burger King ads from the '70s.

Not to be outdone, McDonald's has made IHIYC Ronald's X-TREEM counterpart. He will focus on advertising the fast food giant's new line of hallucinogenic dipping sauces.


I have a dungeon in need of a boss level. Your hired!

Dark Archive

The Other Strawman has been promoted to the proud owner of its very own brain, generously donated by the good people over at...*squints at receipt*..."the Abbey of Normal"!

Dr. Vitruvian has been declared The Most Beautiful Lady at the Ball!

:whispers from offstage:

What's that you say?


An elf is it?


I see...

:to crowd"

The Most Beautiful Lady at the Ball!


Scarab Sages

Mssr. GoatToucher has been promoted to the part of Mars/Akiton just in time for this year's performance of the Globular-Headed's League's annual Dance of the Planets.

Alexis has been promoted to head up the Bureau of Odd Facial Expressions.

The Concordance

Cluny Scourge is to be promoted for of being past year's #1 Most Productive Shock Worker in glorious and crucial bioweapon industry! DA!

Gremlins from the Kremlin has been promoted to Chief of the Overbite Police.

I'm promoting Shere Khan as the poster boy for "Wildlife Fights Back!"

Goth Guru is now president of the local chapter of the Orko Impersonators Union.

Scarab Sages

GoatToucher was promoted for last Monday's feat of putting *10,000* limes in *10,000* coconuts and drinking them ALL up!

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