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Hi everyone! AbadarCorp is happy to announce that we've worked out the kinks in the AbadarCorp ticketing system and that we can now offer direct customer service responses to all questions regarding AbdarCorp Products.
AbadarCorp, Think Differently
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Why is the customer service interface a Ouija Board?
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my new tablet seems to be stuck using abyssal speech , is there a way to change the language settings?
Sure is! Please consult the FAQ about AbadarCorp's language detection software on our holonet site but the gist of it is as follows: tap the home screen and open up your Vault personal digital assistant and tell it to "Change Native Planar Position". If you select "Material Plane" it will give you a series of language options to select from.
I should mention that there is also a slight, typically unlikely bug where the Dretch Demon that was slaughtered to make your tablet may have possessed the tablet's harddrive. In that case, please schedule a service visit with our help desk.
Why is the customer service interface a Ouija Board?
Whoops! Looks like you accidentally opened the interface that opens up our iSpell IT Support Team. From time to time, Bagul the Vile is summoned from Hell to consume the souls of the living as well as provide direct support for technomagical devices.
you soiled me a lazer that has a sound board to make noise when i fire, but it sounds like a chicken every time a pull the trigger!!!!
Okay, well it looks like you purchased a refurbished laser with a third party, after market sound board. Normally we remove those before sale but you appear to have purchased it in an "as is" condition. I can schedule a service appointment to fix it but "As Is" products are not covered under our second hand product warranty.
My daka make no more daka. Fix.
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my new tablet seems to be stuck using abyssal speech , is there a way to change the language settings?Sure is! Please consult the FAQ about AbadarCorp's language detection software on our holonet site but the gist of it is as follows: tap the home screen and open up your Vault personal digital assistant and tell it to "Change Native Planar Position". If you select "Material Plane" it will give you a series of language options to select from.
I should mention that there is also a slight, typically unlikely bug where the Dretch Demon that was slaughtered to make your tablet may have possessed the tablet's harddrive. In that case, please schedule a service visit with our help desk.
Why is the customer service interface a Ouija Board?Whoops! Looks like you accidentally opened the interface that opens up our iSpell IT Support Team. From time to time, Bagul the Vile is summoned from Hell to consume the souls of the living as well as provide direct support for technomagical devices.
you soiled me a lazer that has a sound board to make noise when i fire, but it sounds like a chicken every time a pull the trigger!!!!Okay, well it looks like you purchased a refurbished laser with a third party, after market sound board. Normally we remove those before sale but you appear to have purchased it in an "as is" condition. I can schedule a service appointment to fix it but "As Is" products are not covered under our second hand product warranty.
what!! as is?!?! the orc selling me the LAZER said it was the best for durka!
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***Minor spoilers for SFS 1-02, Fugitive on the red planet.***
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***Minor spoilers for SFS 1-02, Fugitive on the red planet.***
** spoiler omitted **
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My daka make no more daka. Fix.
Um...well have you tried rebooting your...daka?
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Me an' Mammy done broke the PleasureBed_ZeroG3000 we bought from y'all ... Reckon's we're due a ree-fund...
PS: Did ask that Abbydar Sales fella who came a-visiting our disasteroid, but he ain't sayin' much no more...
My FunFriend computer is on fire, what should I do?
My daka make no more daka. Fix.Um...well have you tried rebooting your...daka?Hey, I think I got this.
daka in battery. you battery run out of daka. take out old battery, it no have daka, and put in new battery. then you have more daka.
Daka make more daka now.
I have beem some problems in making the change from my GPs to Credits, the attendants are always confused ... I think it is not my fault of being a temporal delocated.
You have some like a conversion standard sheet
Not to worry sir, might I recommend taking advantage of the "Temporal Displacement Center" provided by the Pact Worlds Government which provides a comprehensive service for individuals suffering either from time dilation, time travel, temporal freezing, cryo-sleep, or artificial hibernation. It's a six month program, provided free of charge, and it comes with a free vaccination cycle.
My FunFriend computer is on fire, what should I do?
Please smother the fire or use a fire extinquisher. Then restart the computer and change the battery settings. Funfriend Computers are fire proof so there should be minimal damage. Quick reminder, AbadarCorp is not liable for any injuries incurred during the use of Funfriend computers.
So, I submitted a request under the old system for a replacement metacapacitor under my warranty. Can I get a progress update? The old ticket number is iota seven three penguin blue two two noble.
My records says that was already delivered, are you still at the same address?
Hello yes I got a tube of your SpaceGoop to seal my kinetic rounds from hard vacuum. that part has worked fine but now when I fire my weapon every round acts like a tracer round. This would not be so bad but the only color my gun fires is Hot Pink! please help!
yours Yskone
Well I should mention that it does say SpaceGoop is not recommended for live ammunition use. I mean it CAN be used for it but as you've seen, it's not ideal because the Lithium in the Goop burns reddish pink. We recommend SpaceGoop's sister product AmmuSeal instead. In the mean time, enjoy the pretty lights.
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Me an' Mammy done broke the PleasureBed_ZeroG3000 we bought from y'all ... Reckon's we're due a ree-fund...
PS: Did ask that Abbydar Sales fella who came a-visiting our disasteroid, but he ain't sayin' much no more...
Um, well, according to my telemetry a new bed was dispatched via shuttle this morning, as for the Sales Rep my location readings...oh...um, why is he dead?
I bought a suit of golemforged armor II with a special offered darkvision capacitors. For some reason I can only see in black and white, and when I vacuum seal my suit, it really compresses my uh...lower regions, even though I had it tailored at an Abadarcorp armor vendor. I expect help with this, how am I supposed to fight pirates in these conditions?
I am sorry about this, let me see if I can help you with the problem. Now even though the armor was tailored, our sales rep should've made a secondary appointment for an adjustment fitting. I'll make that for you now, check your inbox.
Next, it sounds like a common issue we've been dealing with this week: your darkvision capacitors were set to "Shirren Compound". This means that the computer is sending you telemetry to your eyeballs for colors that only compound insect eyes can process. To you, that looks like black and white. Please go into the vision mode menu on your HUD and just change the settings to "Standard Sentient" or "Intuitive", then the computer will auto adjust to your species' biology. Sadly this settings issue will reset once the armor is powered down and we are working on a hot fix for it.
As an apology for this problem, I'd like to also offer you a coupon 50% off your next power armor tailoring purchase and 60% off the new "Lord Regent" Brand Jarlslayer Power Armor which releases with our Fall armor line. The Lord Regent was personally designed by Aaron Longbeard, personal armorer to the Pact Worlds Brutaris League and one of the finest living Dwarven Armor-smiths in the Known Universe. Available in six different colors and twelve different graphic patterns, the Lord Regent has state of the art electrocapacitors and our award winning PsychicSense Artificial Nervous System. The new Lord Regent offers a carbon fiber smart metal overweave and a Noqual core for nearly unbreakable protection.
I recently purchased a number of products from AbadarCorp's new "Lawfinder" gaming line; but while the digital masters are all of fine quality, I have found that every time I attempt to obtain a hard copy of the core rules, the binding spells fail and then I have to deal with a bunch of freshly released rules lawyers, not to mention all of the paperwork!
This is why I say you guys should never have sub-contracted out your summoning subscriptions to AsmodeusCorp; those people never deliver exactly what you ask for.
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So I went into one of yer shops yesterday to pick up a new gun, the new Abdarcorp Advanced semi-auto pistol, the new 317 model, and the salesman says I'm not 'high enough level' to get it. What does that mean? He said something about it being a level 7 item? And I only have level 3 clearance or some such? Look, I have the credits, I used to be with the Stewards, I know what I'm doing, why won't you sell me the thing? I was even gonna go through you folks to get the merciful fusion on it so I wouldn't hurt no one too bad, so what's the holdup?
So, I submitted a request under the old system for a replacement metacapacitor under my warranty. Can I get a progress update? The old ticket number is iota seven three penguin blue two two noble.My records says that was already delivered, are you still at the same address?
Uhh...possibly not, there was that senator angry at me. It was an honest mistake, and they were consenting adults. Anyway, was it delivered to the Akitonian Port authority or the Armada?
Uhh...possibly not, there was that senator angry at me. It was an honest mistake, and they were consenting adults. Anyway, was it delivered to the Akitonian Port authority or the Armada?So, I submitted a request under the old system for a replacement metacapacitor under my warranty. Can I get a progress update? The old ticket number is iota seven three penguin blue two two noble.My records says that was already delivered, are you still at the same address?
My read out says "Akiton".
So AbadarCorp, I have a slight problem. On our ship, well, see we have an AbadarCorp Mark I Plasma Sword? You know, like ya do. Well, and I wasn't involved with this, our Ysoki and our Vesk were doing something... I hear the phrase, "Here, hold my space beer."
Then the Vesk is howling in pain. I run in and I find his arm is laying on the floor. I don't care about that.
The Ysoki panicked though and dropped the plasma sword and now it won't turn on. I can replace the arm, that is cheap, the sword is expensive. These are combat weapons and they break on a 2 foot drop (He's a Ysoki after all) onto a ship floor? This has to be a defective product.
It sounds like you've purchased a Solemn Vow Holy Fire Plasma Sword and I'm afraid this is a known bug. When your friend dropped the sword, the emitter became detached for the housing. You should be able to send the weapon out for service or replacement. I notice that you're currently somewhere inside of the Diaspora so we can't get a mail drone to you right now, kindly send a message to our automated mail service once you are in high orbit around a planet.
As for your friend, allow me to offer you a coupon entitling your associate to a free consultation with Sales Doctor at any of AbadarCyber's two thousand Cyberization Clinics where he can purchase any one of our fabulous cybernetic arms at half price.
So I went into one of yer shops yesterday to pick up a new gun, the new Abdarcorp Advanced semi-auto pistol, the new 317 model, and the salesman says I'm not 'high enough level' to get it. What does that mean? He said something about it being a level 7 item? And I only have level 3 clearance or some such? Look, I have the credits, I used to be with the Stewards, I know what I'm doing, why won't you sell me the thing? I was even gonna go through you folks to get the merciful fusion on it so I wouldn't hurt no one too bad, so what's the holdup?
Well typically we follow all local arms control laws and it appears your attempted to purchase weapons from a site in the Pact Worlds, and you'll need a Class Seven license for that. Now you can enter into the Pact Worlds Government's new Program: Firearms Experience Points System, where in you are granted a new license level each time you prove capable and trustworthy enough to have access to new equipment.
I recently purchased a number of products from AbadarCorp's new "Lawfinder" gaming line; but while the digital masters are all of fine quality, I have found that every time I attempt to obtain a hard copy of the core rules, the binding spells fail and then I have to deal with a bunch of freshly released rules lawyers, not to mention all of the paperwork!
This is why I say you guys should never have sub-contracted out your summoning subscriptions to AsmodeusCorp; those people never deliver exactly what you ask for.
Yes, well, I am sorry about that and we will process a replacement/refund ASAP but please don't blame AsmodeusCorp (Division of AsmoCo LLC) they're a fine group of Infernal Cultists.
On a totally unrelated and in no way having anything to do with this unfortunate situation, The Holy Church of Abadar and AbadarCorp Security are currently taking applications for anyone who wants to join an ongoing military action against the Hellknight Order of the Page.
Do you offer morality atonement services? I was recently involved in a drift incident that ended up with a celestial, well, pasting across my hull. It's been giving me and my crew an existential crisis.
Technically, AbadarCorp does not, however, the Holy Church of Abadar does indeed offer moral atonement services at very competitive prices.
Are there any specific cooking instructions for your sales reps?
Would I be able to pre-order that Lord Regent brand Power armor? Specifically in void black with a star blue trim?
As an apology for this problem, I'd like to also offer you a coupon 50% off your next power armor tailoring purchase and 60% off the new "Lord Regent" Brand Jarlslayer Power Armor which releases with our Fall armor line. The Lord Regent was personally designed by Aaron Longbeard, personal armorer to the Pact Worlds Brutaris League and one of the finest living Dwarven Armor-smiths in the Known Universe. Available in six different colors and twelve different graphic patterns, the Lord Regent has state of the art electrocapacitors and our award winning PsychicSense Artificial Nervous System. The new Lord Regent offers a carbon fiber smart metal overweave and a Noqual core for nearly unbreakable protection.[/i]
Yes, in fact if you pre-order using this coupon before Mondas, the 1st of Neth you'll get a free StabTech 5000 Blade System for your gauntlet. And naturally the Void Black comes with free cleaning shammys.
I'd like to also offer you a coupon 50% off your next power armor tailoring purchase and 60% off the new "Lord Regent" Brand Jarlslayer Power Armor which releases with our Fall armor line. The Lord Regent was personally designed by Aaron Longbeard, personal armorer to the Pact Worlds Brutaris League and one of the finest living Dwarven Armor-smiths in the Known Universe. Available in six different colors and twelve different graphic patterns, the Lord Regent has state of the art electrocapacitors and our award winning PsychicSense Artificial Nervous System. The new Lord Regent offers a carbon fiber smart metal overweave and a Noqual core for nearly unbreakable protection.[/i]
TAKE MY MONEY!
I can't seem to find my mom. Can you help me find her? Last I heard she was swimming through a rough neighborhood looking for Papa. I think she said it was called Jehyseel of Golarion. Do you know where that is?
She assured me she'd be back soon with Papa, and not to worry, that she'd be back in time for us to celebrate Faceless Day. She then gave me a draught to help me sleep.
Next thing I know, I'm here, surrounded by walkers, and can't find my way home! Please help. I'm getting scared.
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I can't seem to find my mom. Can you help me find her? Last I heard she was swimming through a rough neighborhood looking for Papa. I think she said it was called Jehyseel of Golarion. Do you know where that is?
She assured me she'd be back soon with Papa, and not to worry, that she'd be back in time for us to celebrate Faceless Day. She then gave me a draught to help me sleep.
Next thing I know, I'm here, surrounded by walkers, and can't find my way home! Please help. I'm getting scared.
Oh, Stars, kid...
Hey, come with me. I'll show you a really cool...illusion, I have on my ship the VoidDancer, and then there's a story you need to hear...
ACCS, what's the address for that Displacement Center office?
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First Request: Which kind of guarantees do you give for ultra-high quality manacles? Are yours really the best on the market? We want to make a large-scale order, and we already have some offerings from a Kuthite. We need our manacles to be secure. It does not bother me if this security is painless or not.
Second Request: Is it possible to make contracts with the AbadarCorp in Infernal? The order I want to make has some parts which requires an exact and precise language, and it would be dangerous to translate the requirements in a minor language.
(A Hellknight from the Order of the Chain)
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Okay, I'be just about had it with you people. After you refused to sell me my a gun even though I used to be a member of the stewards and should have a license. . .
Let me start over.
So I decided to build muh own instead. I bought all the UPBs I thought I'd need, then I rented some time on an Abdarcorp tech workbench. Well, I get 'bouts an hour into the process and the darn thing says it's figured out what I'm tryin' to build and that I don't "Have enough ranks in Engineering to build the item." Then it shuts down and refuses to work for me, plus says all the time I've rented on it has been rendered null and void. Now I'm left with a half-assembled gun and a mess of UPBs I can't use. What the hell?
The nav-computer of my new racer always gives my the wrong coordinates for Triaxus. If I would use those I would reach a circular orbit smewhere between Eox and Liavara, but that's not where Triaxus currently is. And the only way to get coordinates for Absalom Station is to ask for the coordinates of Golgarion.