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1. abrupt sex reversal
2. slight discoloration
3. extreme, radical, bizarre discoloration
4. heartburn (quite literally)
5. sudden awakening of latent Sorcerer Bloodline
6. slight personality changes
7. dramatic alignment shift
8. fragrant excrement
9. odd dreams (like, REALLY odd)
10. hands growing out of your ears
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Some of those sound less like side effects and more like cursed objects(and adding a whole class level?) that can really mess people up.
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I loved the 1e potions miscibility charts, where by drinking more than one potion in a certain length of time could cause a random number of effects, the last one on the list being that the potion or mix of potions would become permanent. Fun stuff!
lol, permanent potion of invisibility that self dispels when you do a number of offensive things.
and I'm with Azten
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11) For the duration of the potion, whenever you speak, your words come out in bubbles. Literally, the words form in bubbles that blow out of your mouth. As they pop, your words become audible.
12) Due to the paranoia or predilictions of whoever made the potion, it has a strong garlic aftertaste. Your breath is enough to repel vampires for an hour after consumption.
13) Similar to #12, but this time there's a minty taste. That's due to the catnip in the formula. You attract the attention of every feline within 60', who follow you around, rub against you, and are quite friendly.
14) The potion was made with very wholesome ingredients. So wholesome that you don't need to eat or drink for the next 24 hours.
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15. The potion was made with unwholesome...and unnatural...ingredients that impose upon you a -2 penalty to all Charisma- and Wisdom-based skill checks against all Humanoids with the exception of Deep Ones and Deep One Hybrids, against which you gain a +2 bonus to those checks, as well as against Mi-Go, Denizens of Leng, Flail Snails, Azruverda, and Mothmen.
16. heart palpitations
17. You gain the Delicious Racial Feature for 1d12 days.
18. butt-feet
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19. Your forehead sprouts kumquat branches.
20. hallucinations
21. memory loss
22. regaining of other people's lost memories
23. change in sexuality
24. inverted polarity (if you were healed by positive and harmed by negative, you are now healed by negative and harmed by positive, and vice versa)
25. extreme pH shift resulting in deadly corrosive blood (harms others, but not you)
26. Klorox's potion of invisibility that dispels just as you do a rude gesture of any kind.
27. Fart stinking cloud as the spell, for the duration of the potion. (If instantaneous, 1+spell level rounds)
28. Made with poisonous substance. Note that a potion of cure disease made with belladonna is effective against acquired lycanthropy.
29. Potion does not function but drinker is deluded into believing it works. Will save DC30.
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30. When the potions effect ends, if it had a numerical mechanical effect or other reversible effect (such as bull's strength or enlarge person) you suffer the opposite effect for the same number of rounds. If it had a non-numerical effect (such as invisibility, fly or water breathing) you become immune to that effect and unable to benefit from it for an identical number of rounds (this effect can be dispelled, at the same CL as the original effect). If it had an instantaneous effect (such as a potion of cure moderate wounds), the effect occurs, then immediately ends, negating itself.
31. This potion has congealed into a rubbery mass that must be shaken vigorously from it's container as a full-round action requiring such concentration that you are treated as flat-footed when devoting your attention to getting the darn thing out.
32. This potion was improperly prepared and bottled too soon. It works normally, but only after an onset time of (roll 1d6) 1) the end of the round it was consumed, 2) 1 round later, on your action, 3) 1 minute later, 4) 1 hour later, 5) the next time you are affected by any other spell, 6) immediately, and then again, 1 minute later (two potions for the price of one)!
33. This potion is extra salty. Make a Fortitude save (DC 10+ 2x the level of the spell in the potion) or be fatigued by cramps and dehydration until you consume at least a pint of water.
34. This potions makes you extra salty. Make a Will save (DC 10 + 2x the level of the spell in the potion) or be snippy and insulting to everyone you speak to for the duration of the potion's effect. While this is in effect, you suffer a -5 to all Diplomacy checks, and base reactions from NPCs are always one step worse.
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35. The potion makes you extra salty in that you gain a touch attack that deals (1d6 X potion's caster level) to slugs and other creatures with salt vulnerability.
36. The potion makes you an old salt. You gain a +10 alchemical bonus to Profession (Sailor) checks, and a scrimshaw pipe sprouts from your mouth, for its duration.
37. The potion is really, really, REALLY salty. You permanently gain the Mummified template (although your alignment doesn't change).
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41. The bard who made this potion may have put a little too much boogie in it, as you cannot speak normally while it is in effect. You must sing everything (this does not affect spellcasting) you say. On the upside, for each round in which you manage to communicate using only song lyrics recognized by others at the table, you get an additional round of duration from the potion, to a maximum of twice it's original duration.
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43. Potion addiction. They become increasingly paranoid if they don't have every cure potion they could possibly need. All their money goes into said potions. Will save DC 20 to resist every opportunity to get potions, use potions, and refuse to sell potions. Must stay away from potions for a month to shake addiction.
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48. This potion was put into a vial that had been previously used for another potion, and not cleaned out properly. As a result, when you consume this potion, in addition to the normal effects, you get the effects of a random other appropriate spell of the same class and level, but at CL 1 (even if it's a 2nd or 3rd level spell) and with it's effects minimized (a potion of cure light wounds, for instance, will cure only 2 hit points of damage, 1d8+1 becomes 2 hp.)
49. The crafter of this potion was a big fan of his or her races primacy, and wanted everyone to walk a mile in their shoes. For the duration of the potion's effect, you are transformed into the race of the creator. Use the reincarnation table to determine the race and effects. For an instantaneous potion (such as cure light wounds), you transform as above, but the effects last until the next time you drink any other potion, or are subject to any other spell effect, as the delicate magic unravels and you revert to the race you were before drinking the potion.
50. This potion has been infused with ghost peppers. At any time before the end of the potions duration, you can breath out a 15 ft. cone of ghost fire that inflicts 3d6 damage but only affects incorporeal undead and haunts (neither channeling nor fire resistance or immunity protects). This ends the potion's other effects immediately. In the case of an instantaneous potion, the belch occurs immediately.
51. This potion draws it's power from the distilled essence of an outsider. In addition to it's normal effects, at the end of it's duration (or when consumed, for a potion with an instantaneous effect), a random outsider appropriate for use as an Improved Familiar (imp, quasit, cacodaemon, paracletus, silvanshee, cassisian, voidworm, arbiter, augur, nosoi, etc.) bursts it's way out of the consumer's mouth, and remains for a number of rounds equal to the CL of the potion. This outsider is not necessarily friendly to the drinker... Before consumption, this potion may detect as evil, good, chaos or law aligned, if examined for such, depending on the alignment type of the outsider bound within it.
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53. Your hair all falls out.
54. All of your hair grows, ALL OF IT.
55. You become slightly magnetic.
56. Your weight halves for a period of time.
57. Your weight doubles.
58. Your sweat becomes alkaline, you gain a 1d6 touch attack against slimes.
59. You hear surface level thoughts from everyone within 60ft. Even if you really don't want to.
60. The runs
62. Everything happens. All at once. Your brain can't take it and you go into a coma for 1d12 days
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64. Roll on the Potion Miscibility Table.
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65. You suffer from Glitter Psoriasis for the rest of the day. All your hair itches and you leave a trail of glitter everywhere you go. Most creatures get a fort save vs DC20, but ponies, unicorns, and pegasi get no save!
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67. Existential crisis: You feel as if you are but a piece on a board. A play thing of beings far more powerful than yourself, the outcomes of your actions are but the roll of a dice to them.
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68. Distilled Chi: in addition to it's normal effects, if you have a ki pool, you gain a number of temporary ki points equal to the level of the spell in the potion usable either for 1 round (for an instantaneous potion) or for the duration of the potion. Any of these temporary ki not used at the end of this duration fade away.
69. Chakra-Laka Boom-Bang: In addition to the potion's normal affects, you also experience the awakening of your root chakra, and you can ignore the effects of one condition, hostile spell affect, disease, poison, hex or curse for the duration of the potion (or 1 round, in the case of an instantaneous potion). While this is in effect, the affliction will appear to have been expelled from your body, temporarily, and hover around you like a cloying mist, to be reabsorbed into your body at the end of the potions duration.
70. It Ain't Subtle: When you drink this potion, a transparent image of the potion's creator appears and goes through the motions of casting the spell on you with a distant sounding echo-y incantation. If the spell has a duration greater than instantaneous, the illusory spellcaster silently follows you around, remaining within 5 ft. of you at all times, occasionally nodding approvingly or shaking it's head disapprovingly, as long as the potion remains in effect. If you created the potion you are drinking, the illusory image of you is inexplicably hostile, and spends the duration vainly attempting to harm you, appearing to cast hostile spells (to no effect) or strike at you with weapons or even strangle you (again, to no effect). Fortunately, it remains silent, after the initial spellcasting, so you are not treated to verbal abuse from such a hostile phantasm...
73. You are under a quest to write down the formula for the potion. Treat it as the minimum level to cast quest. If you can gather all the ingredients and an alchemical lab, it wont cost you anything but time to make.
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74. Make a will save or be convinced you are on fire. Take non lethal damage as if on fire until taking actions to extinguish.
75. Make will save or be convinced you are facing a spider swarm. Any actions you take to damage the swarm actually harm you.
78. You become blue. (Smurfy, Muddy Waters or both)
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80. 1 hour after drinking the potion, it expresses itself out in your urine, with the same color and appearance (and, thankfully, smell and taste) as the original potion. This does not happen again if you consume the potion again.
81. The potion does not affect you normally, but instead gives you the ability to cast the spell within the potion as a spell-like ability at the same CL one time within the next hour. You need not cast this spell on yourself. If you cast any other spell, or drink any other potion, before using this spell-like ability, the effect is lost.
82. The potion 'does not play well with others,' and for every other spell you have upon you, a damaging reaction occurs causing you to generate a destructive wash of energy damaging you and releasing a 'splash effect' into all adjacent squares equal to 1 hit point of fire damage per level of spell upon you. This effect does not in any way end the spells upon you, or reduce their duration, and the potion's other effects occur normally.
(Example: Seoni has stoneskin, resist elements (cold) and mage armor active when she drinks this tainted potion of cure moderate wounds. The blast of fire affects her and all adjacent squares doing 4 + 2 + 1 hit points of fire damage, and she is simultaneously cured of 2d8+3 hit points of damage. Sadly her cold resistance is no help.)
"Here, here now. This is entirely too silly. Move along."
87: The potion drinker firmly believes that they are a Kitsune and ignores any evidence to the contrary
I have a runny nose a lot of the time and I did not know it was called that.
So they are distracted and unappealing sexually?
93. An allergic reaction causing extraplanar diarrhea for the next 1d8 weeks. Every occasion requires a fortitude save to take half damage. Damage type determined by what plane the pc's bowels have been connected too. Or whatever the group would find most entertaining.