[Humorous] 1001 Explanations for the Disappearance of Golarion / Gap


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99) The god that sneezed it out finally wiped their nose.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Card Game, Maps, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
FirstChAoS wrote:
DJEternalDarkness wrote:
96) Rock and roll music. Always blame the music.
Actually it was orc and troll music.

Music with Rocks In It. (copyright Terry Prachett)

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

100) Global weather change. The powers that be still claim there is no such thing so they had to hide the planet and any records that could prove otherwise.


so edgy. so brave.


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101) While setting up the curse on a tomb, the architect accidentally set the target to 'all' rather than 'all adventurers breaking in'. A syntax error in other words.


102) Asmodeuous' warranty on the lock expired

103) Desna felt bad for rovagag and let him out for walkies

104) 21st level adventurers broke in and lost the fight

105) emo teen wished not to live on this planet anymore


Starfinder Superscriber

106) Pharasma couldn't even


107) I told them not to try that Bag of Holding/Portable Hole rifle. I really did.


108) Talavet got amnesia.

Silver Crusade

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109) a deepspawn ate a piece of Rovagug and was teleported to Golarion. Cue Deus Ex Machina and agreement among the gods of "we never speak of this again".

Silver Crusade

Teleported to *the surface of* Golarion.

Silver Crusade

Explanation for those who don't get it: In second edition AD&D, deepspawn were one of the largest creatures in existence. Floating balls the side of large mountains that lived underground in forgotten realms and Greyhawk, mainly. They had mouths and eyes and claws which they could extend as pseudopods at will. That wasn't the scary part, tho. Any living creature they so much as ate a piece of they could duplicate as clones under their nigh-unto direct control, about once every month, I think it was. If one ate a piece of Rovagug, it would have the ability to birth a legion of Rovagugs. While lacking the godliness of their original (in Pathfinder terms, they would have supernatural, but not spell-like abilities, duplicated), they would nevertheless be an apocalypse under the control of what amounts to a second lamashtu.

Silver Crusade

While deepspawn were threatening, they also allowed for things like the good lich who talked to Elminster before he became the most powerful archmage in Forgotten realms. He had a pet deepspawn he kept under lock and key which had only eaten 1 stirge, ever.


109) A fight broke out and Cayden had to use *something* to make his Barricade.


Starfinder Superscriber

110) Worst.Episode.Ever.


111) Someone asked for a clean slate.


00110001 00110001 00110010 00101001 00100000 01010011 01101001 01101101 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00101110


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112) A Numerian Technomancer created a doomsday device. Good news is that it worked. BAD news is that it worked!


Pathfinder Starfinder Society Subscriber

113.) The Gods hosted a 1-star guest from AirBnB.

114.) A sudden influx of Chaotic Good Drow rangers dual-wielding scimitars.

115.) Old Man Henderson


116: Calden cayden got ALL of the gods black out drunk at his wedding, then asmodeous took a dare from calistria to go tickle Rovogag, and then we had to blow up golarion? Okay, we ALL agree we are never telling the mortals about this....Asmodeuous, start work on that non disclosure agreement...


117: Doctor Who managed to travel back in time and make it so that Rovagag never existed, and thus Golarion never existed. The Gap was the result of Space Time and the Gods fixing reality.


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118: It's still there, right where it was. Someone just cast a mythic invisibility spell on it.

Scarab Sages

FormerFiend wrote:
118: It's still there, right where it was. Someone just cast a mythic invisibility spell on it.

119: It's still there, right where it was. Someone has just put a Someone Else's problem Field around it.


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120: Some Andoran general thought Irrisen infiltrators had contaminated his bodily fluids.


121: A warrior figured out how to wield a Colossal Weapon. He missed his target, but then rolled a natural 20 to hit the ground. Crit confirmed.


VampByDay wrote:
FormerFiend wrote:
118: It's still there, right where it was. Someone just cast a mythic invisibility spell on it.
119: It's still there, right where it was. Someone has just put a Someone Else's problem Field around it.

It was covered in rainbow sparklies before the field was set up. Unfortunately no followers of Shelyn have been able to get regular enough contact with her to reach the levels where they could see through it. That might even be the real reason she is so hard to contact.


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Starfinder Superscriber

123. It's in a REALLY BIG yoski cheek pouch.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

124. An ysoki purchased a pet rat.


125. It became full of Bronies. Then one of them ascended to godhood.

Dark Archive

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

126. Someone finally put a large enough bag of holding into a very full portable hole.

127. I'm not exactly sure, but it's probably a Vancaskerkin's fault.


128. Paizo was in talks with Wizards for a Planescape crossover, but the Lady of Pain was displeased and Maze'd the whole thing.

Scarab Sages

warmachine wrote:
125. It became full of Bronies. Then one of them ascended to godhood.
Sounds like my earlier one:
Quote:
45) Ponyfinder became cannon. Discord insued

129. Congratulations! The gods finally hit ‘Eff it!’


It was repossessed by the bank for missing 300,000 payments on the mortgage. Their collections office is tough!


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131. The gods decided the universe needed an afternoon of sensitivity training, and it was just that boring. They still haven't figured out how Golarion got out of it.


132. Belkzen developed nuclear weapons.

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