This Summer...


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Richard, don't forget to drink plenty of water.


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Sharoth wrote:
Richard, don't forget to drink plenty of water.

I'm on it!


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Another thought is to substitute honey for some sugar.


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...I didn't do nearly as much as I wanted because:

1) I spent too much time at work (Yay! I guess, overtime).

B) Had too many incidental expenses come up which drained our funds (so much for overtime).

4) My three year old doesn't weather well on car rides over an hour (hard to drive with all that screaming).

&) Timing and the weather (Did you know you can still get sunburned when its cloudy?).

However, my Kingmaker campaign will finally be ending after 3 years. Its been a fun ride.


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I do in fact know you can get sunburn when it's cloudy. Working on a farm growing up proved that.


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It seems somehow my English/Polish heritage has made me sun resistant, I tan, but I do not burn easily, also worked on a farm growing up.

Yes I am aware that actually makes very little sense genetically... :)


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English heritage trait gives you resist rain 10...


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lol...very nice Sissyl


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I work at a retirement community, and I have an unusual name, so I can relate to being called different things. My name is biblical in origin, so I've been called several other bible names over the years.

My favourite memory related story though is this: We had a resident with dementia who thought for some reason that I was building a house. Every time he saw me he'd ask how the house was coming along, and I'd make up something. Eventually he worsened and his family moved him to a nursing facility. Years later he had apparently improved enough to return, and sure enough when he saw me he asked how the house was going.


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Sissyl wrote:
English heritage trait gives you resist rain 10...

But you also gain a drawback where you make make a successful DC13 Will check to resist boiling your food.


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It was my birthday today. I turned older than I'd like to admit.


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Happy Birthday. Mine is next month. I will be fifty.


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John Napier 698 wrote:
Happy Birthday. Mine is next month. I will be fifty.

Thank you. You are braver man than I, facing the number instead of pretending to yourself that you are still a spritely lad barely out of his teens ;)


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Far too much has happened for me to pretend that I'm still young.


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Slaadish Chef wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
English heritage trait gives you resist rain 10...
But you also gain a drawback where you make make a successful DC13 Will check to resist boiling your food.

Resist rain was the kind one. Resist poison 10 would explain better the combination of words "english" and "food".


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Malefactor wrote:
It was my birthday today. I turned older than I'd like to admit.

Happy birthday! I don't know how old you turned, but I'll be 54 next month. I'll admit, this is NOT how I expected my life to turn out. But, what can ya do? It is what it is.


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At 37 I like to pretend I am still 25, except when I hike up mountains, my body reminds me I am not 25.


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This summer was too short.


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Agreed...I need at least two more months of summer, as there are many many more lakes, ponds, and streams I have NOT caught trout in. Just got back from the Adirondacks high peaks (my favorite part of NYS) and already I need to be back there, sitting by a well made fire, drinking good beer, and preping my fly fishing gear for the pending 5 AM fishing excursion.


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Sissyl wrote:
Slaadish Chef wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
English heritage trait gives you resist rain 10...
But you also gain a drawback where you make make a successful DC13 Will check to resist boiling your food.
Resist rain was the kind one. Resist poison 10 would explain better the combination of words "english" and "food".

Suuuuure, because we're the country that eats rotten fish for fun....


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Limeylongears wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
Slaadish Chef wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
English heritage trait gives you resist rain 10...
But you also gain a drawback where you make make a successful DC13 Will check to resist boiling your food.
Resist rain was the kind one. Resist poison 10 would explain better the combination of words "english" and "food".
Suuuuure, because we're the country that eats rotten fish for fun....

It was supposed to be fun...


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Oh hey, is that a reference to that greenland shark that some folks "dry age" in the Nordic/Scandinavian countries of Europe?


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And Lutefisk, ya can't forget tha Lutefisk, ya!


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Lutefisk. Lutefisk or 'lye fish' is a Nordic dish where they soak dried whitefish in lye to give it a gelatinous texture, then cook it after soaking it in water to remove the lye. Lutefisk is renowned for it's strong smell and the fact that it destroys sterling silver upon contact.

For those who were wondering.

Hakarl...that is the fermented shark...noted for it's very strong ammonia smell...


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That's not the only thing it destroys on contact, just what they tell you about.

The Nordic nations have been secretly weaponizing Lutefisk in the upper Midwest for decades (if not longer) through potlucks and poor preparation techniques.


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A friend of was positive his ancestry was Swedish so for a birthday he wanted traditional Nordic food. I drank a lot of something called glug to choke down the lutefisk and pickled herring.

He later found out his ancestry was Irish.


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Break out the Guinness.


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:

A friend of was positive his ancestry was Swedish so for a birthday he wanted traditional Nordic food. I drank a lot of something called glug to choke down the lutefisk and pickled herring.

He later found out his ancestry was Irish.

I am both Swedish and Irish.

With a heavy dose of Welsh and a bit of Romanian thrown in for fun.


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Limeylongears wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
Slaadish Chef wrote:
Sissyl wrote:
English heritage trait gives you resist rain 10...
But you also gain a drawback where you make make a successful DC13 Will check to resist boiling your food.
Resist rain was the kind one. Resist poison 10 would explain better the combination of words "english" and "food".
Suuuuure, because we're the country that eats rotten fish for fun....

Pretty much every country whose name ends in -land: Greenland, Iceland, England...


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This summer has been a mess.

I've slid back into depression, spending more and more time hidden away under my bed covers, completely derived of energy and motivation. My medication makes only a small dent in the depression, which leads to...

I've begun drinking, again. Old patterns have reemerged, which is basically - no drinking before work, show off as a nice functioning member of society, get home and start pouring those glass' of liquor until the buzz starts kicking in, then start pacing the drinks to keep the buzz going, with a minimum of impaired motor skills. This also has another knock-on effect...

The shame of being a stinking drunk and my depression, means that I only leave the apartment, when its absolutely necessary, and even then it take an amazing amount of planning and psyching myself up, to do so.

Lastly, to compound an already emotionally precarious situation, I've found myself falling in love. Once again, I've fallen for someone who's situation makes it extremely unlikely, to ever manifest into anykind of actual relationship. Its a twisted kind of emotional sabotage that I, for Gods knows what reason, engage in almost every other year, because well... self loathing is cool?!

Well, I guess what I'm actually trying to say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being around, to give support to those who need it. I'm sorry for not acknowledging those who have suffered losses of their own. I'm sorry for not listening to other people problems, instead of wallowing in my own. Lastly I'm just sorry - John, Cal and you other guy/gals - I really wish I could help more, but I'm hurting right now, so I hope you can forgive me.

So, yea, I really wish for this s%+# summer to be over.


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Of course, I forgive you. I'll listen to all your venting. My PM inbox is always open. I may not have any answers, but I can at least listen. I wish I could be there to help you.


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Kjeldorn wrote:
This summer has been a mess.

You need not apologize for anything at all. As a victim of depression, I can certainly relate to what you're going through. Except the drinking, which I'm a little jealous of because I can't anymore j/k)

But like others have said, my PM box is always open. I seldom have any answers, but I'm a damn good listener. Hang in there. And you have a lot of folks pulling for you here.


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You ate my yogurt!!!


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Kjeldorn wrote:

This summer has been a mess.

I've slid back into depression, spending more and more time hidden away under my bed covers, completely derived of energy and motivation. My medication makes only a small dent in the depression, which leads to...

I've begun drinking, again. Old patterns have reemerged, which is basically - no drinking before work, show off as a nice functioning member of society, get home and start pouring those glass' of liquor until the buzz starts kicking in, then start pacing the drinks to keep the buzz going, with a minimum of impaired motor skills. This also has another knock-on effect...

The shame of being a stinking drunk and my depression, means that I only leave the apartment, when its absolutely necessary, and even then it take an amazing amount of planning and psyching myself up, to do so.

Lastly, to compound an already emotionally precarious situation, I've found myself falling in love. Once again, I've fallen for someone who's situation makes it extremely unlikely, to ever manifest into anykind of actual relationship. Its a twisted kind of emotional sabotage that I, for Gods knows what reason, engage in almost every other year, because well... self loathing is cool?!

Well, I guess what I'm actually trying to say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being around, to give support to those who need it. I'm sorry for not acknowledging those who have suffered losses of their own. I'm sorry for not listening to other people problems, instead of wallowing in my own. Lastly I'm just sorry - John, Cal and you other guy/gals - I really wish I could help more, but I'm hurting right now, so I hope you can forgive me.

So, yea, I really wish for this s~*$ summer to be over.

Ha! I stabbed myself in the forehead with a car door, sober, not even sleep deprived.

Don't beat yourself up, we all go through it. :-)

And it is us who should be sorry for not doing more to reach out to you in YOUR time of need (I make myself sick just looking at myself!).

So, sorry!


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I just got done PMing everyone I know to try to help, Kjel. I don't know how quickly they'll show up. I think I got close to twenty of our friends.


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There is a kick ass full moon tonight.


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I'll see it when I walk the dingoes in a bit...that is if the clouds have cleared away.


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Howdy, all.

This summer I learned that my sister is cooler than I've given her credit for being.

I learned that friendly spoiled rich kids are still spoiled rich kids.

I learned that an eclipse on an overcast day looks like most other overcast days.

I learned that 5th edition isn't good enough.

And I received proof that even strangers are decent folk. (Thanks, John!)
_________

Kjeldorn, our interactions have been few and far between over at FaWtL, but you have been missed. I'm grieved that you're in a painful time. What might I do that would be of help?

If nothing else, I can listen. I'm here. We're here. It may be limited in translation through text, but there's love and moral support a-plenty here for you. We'll keep listening.

I don't know how well this bit will be received, but I think it may help make some things clear, in a helpful fashion:

Galatians 6:2 (paraphrased, the STIV {Syrus Terrigan Interpretive Version}) -- Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

My thoughts, and prayers, are with you, chief. Much love to you!


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Full moons on overcast nights are strangely similar to overcast nights without full moons, I find . . . .


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Kjeldorn, we all fall down sooner or later. The real question is what do you do after falling down. All I can do is wish you the best and be here for you. You can message me at any time. Good luck and may things improve sooner than later.

P.S. - Depression SUCKS!!! I have a touch of it in my family and it can be hard on life.


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I haven't watched [redacted] in two years because I found it was a direct contributor to my seasonal depression.

It's actually been a huge help.


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Closing up the garage and going home. Be back on-line as soon as I can.


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captain yesterday wrote:

I haven't watched [redacted] in two years because I found it was a direct contributor to my seasonal depression.

It's actually been a huge help.

The only thing I've watched all summer is Star Trek:Continues, and those only come out about once or twice a year. I really, really like a lot of shows on Netflix and the CW, but I've lost complete interest in them. I'm not sure they contributed to my depression or not, but I did have to stop listening to doom metal, one of my favorite genres. That was really getting to me.


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@Kjeldorn: I do not know you that well...but you have my my sympathy as I am going through some stuff this past year...while not depression...can feel like it at times.

Do not worry about not being there for others....you have to help yourself first. And there are a lot of people around here that are very helpful...

If your old medicine is not working anymore have you looked into going to a doctor for maybe a stronger dosage or a different drug? The body does build up a tolerance to drugs all the time.

Anyway know we are here for you...


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Kjeldorn wrote:

This summer has been a mess.

I've slid back into depression, spending more and more time hidden away under my bed covers, completely derived of energy and motivation. My medication makes only a small dent in the depression, which leads to...

I've begun drinking, again. Old patterns have reemerged, which is basically - no drinking before work, show off as a nice functioning member of society, get home and start pouring those glass' of liquor until the buzz starts kicking in, then start pacing the drinks to keep the buzz going, with a minimum of impaired motor skills. This also has another knock-on effect...

The shame of being a stinking drunk and my depression, means that I only leave the apartment, when its absolutely necessary, and even then it take an amazing amount of planning and psyching myself up, to do so.

Lastly, to compound an already emotionally precarious situation, I've found myself falling in love. Once again, I've fallen for someone who's situation makes it extremely unlikely, to ever manifest into anykind of actual relationship. Its a twisted kind of emotional sabotage that I, for Gods knows what reason, engage in almost every other year, because well... self loathing is cool?!

Well, I guess what I'm actually trying to say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being around, to give support to those who need it. I'm sorry for not acknowledging those who have suffered losses of their own. I'm sorry for not listening to other people problems, instead of wallowing in my own. Lastly I'm just sorry - John, Cal and you other guy/gals - I really wish I could help more, but I'm hurting right now, so I hope you can forgive me.

So, yea, I really wish for this s&#! summer to be over.

Sorry you're having a really tough time, Kjeldorn, and you've got nothing to apologise for. As John said, taking care of yourself is the most important thing, and we are all here to help if needs be :)


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GM_Beernorg wrote:
Lutefisk. Lutefisk or 'lye fish' is a Nordic dish where they soak dried whitefish in lye to give it a gelatinous texture, then cook it after soaking it in water to remove the lye. Lutefisk is renowned for it's strong smell and the fact that it destroys sterling silver upon contact.

Correct. Except for the strong smell part. That isn't lutfisk, which smells mostly like fish. The smelly one is SURSTRÖMMING, which is fermented herring. It smells like excrements, to be clear.


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Oops! I just realized I'd sent a PM without ever commenting here.

Yes: Kjeldorn, we're with you, my man. As Syrus notes we are to bear one another's burdens, and so we're here to help you do so! Please feel free! And as Sharoth notes we all fall down sometimes - it's what's after that makes the big difference.

I've missed seeing you around, and I'm happy you're here. :)

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Kjeldorn wrote:

This summer has been a mess.

I've slid back into depression, spending more and more time hidden away under my bed covers, completely derived of energy and motivation. My medication makes only a small dent in the depression, which leads to...

I've begun drinking, again. Old patterns have reemerged, which is basically - no drinking before work, show off as a nice functioning member of society, get home and start pouring those glass' of liquor until the buzz starts kicking in, then start pacing the drinks to keep the buzz going, with a minimum of impaired motor skills. This also has another knock-on effect...

The shame of being a stinking drunk and my depression, means that I only leave the apartment, when its absolutely necessary, and even then it take an amazing amount of planning and psyching myself up, to do so.

Lastly, to compound an already emotionally precarious situation, I've found myself falling in love. Once again, I've fallen for someone who's situation makes it extremely unlikely, to ever manifest into anykind of actual relationship. Its a twisted kind of emotional sabotage that I, for Gods knows what reason, engage in almost every other year, because well... self loathing is cool?!

Well, I guess what I'm actually trying to say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being around, to give support to those who need it. I'm sorry for not acknowledging those who have suffered losses of their own. I'm sorry for not listening to other people problems, instead of wallowing in my own. Lastly I'm just sorry - John, Cal and you other guy/gals - I really wish I could help more, but I'm hurting right now, so I hope you can forgive me.

So, yea, I really wish for this s!!# summer to be over.

Hello, K,

We do not know each other, and yet here I am, because John thought I might be of some help. It is a great honor to me that he thinks so, but most of all, it is a clear sign that you absolutely matter to people here, and quite likely in many other places too.

I am French, so I hope you will forgive me if I use some words in place of others. Be sure that my intent is one of deserved support, and not of belittling you in any way :-)

You are obviously a good person and one that seems widely appreciated here, which is even more proof of you being a great guy.

I think that, beyond meds, you need professional help from a therapist. Someone who can help you find out the reasons behind your behaviours and feelings and tackle them so that you find your ability for happiness back again.

It is my understanding that depression is due to an accumulation of psychic pains that end up lastingly unbalancing the brain chemistry, so that negative feelings come more easily that positive ones. So, meds are needed to put the chemistry back to normal, but, for it to be sustainable, one needs to also tackle the root causes in the psyche with the help of a therapist, and one that you feel you can trust. Only one without the other does not really work.

In a twisted way, alcohol might play on both registers, as it causes an imbalance in the brain chemistry, while also satisfying the craving for self-loathing or even self-destruction

Remember that, as many posters here can attest, that no one is immune to depression. And that very likely the people you like or even admire the most have had these bouts of darkness too.

I can attest, from my own experience, that it does not last. And I think you are already on the path to recovery, because you dared post about this here and share your sorrow with us. You found the courage to ask for help

TLDR : You are a great guy. Ask for some professional help to get you out of this dark place. You have all our support and love

Being currently in a rather hope-filled phase, I send you over oceans and continents great waves of love, rainbows and sunny positive energy :-)


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Whoa...I, errr, don't know what to say.
I'm not really any good, at talking about these things. Far too often, when I try to explain these things, I come across as very short, somewhat none-descriptive and not very informative.

Don't get me wrong! Its encouraging and heartwarming that people really want to offer me support and well-wishes.
its just, well in my head at least, there are so many others deserving of that support. I don't feel right in getting it.
I could rationalize it in many ways - Others have suffered greater losses than I have. I live in a comfortable apartment, paying all my bills on time and still have enough left over to pick up anything on my rpg-wishlist, while drinking hard liquor almost every day.

I'm a bit at loss for words here...as I said initially, I'm not very good at explaining these things.

As for therapy, yes, I've reached out to my former therapist and if everything pans out, I might be beginning sessions either in the end of this month or in the start of oktober. Hopefully that'll also give me a chance to lookover my medication.

As for my drinking...she's a harsh mistress, one that I've never really been able to tame.
Its been going on and off around 12-13 years now. In the good periods, I've been able to push beyond it and limit it to a bottle of wine or two and a couple of glasses of liquor in the weekends. Unfortunately as soon as things turn south, my drinking increases until I get to the several glasses of hard liquor everyday.
While it might sound like me, waxing lyrically about alcohol, its more of tired sad commentary on the fact, that alcohol has been the a life partner, for me, for longer then most of my friendships and far longer then any relationship with the opposite sex.

I don't know...I'm rambling again.

I just kind of wanted to say thanks, even if I kind of doesn't deserve it.


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C'mon you deserve it! We all deserve it, don't sell yourself short.

We all have vices or hangups we deal with. The trick is to try to be positive when dealing with them. Or some other positive cliche.

Perhaps, I should be a life coach...

P.S. don't worry about the yogurt, I can get more.

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