To: AbadarCorp Customer Service
Subject: Anti-Privateer "Hammer of the Law" H07L Drones
To my great dismay, whilst I was carousing upon my party cruiser and gloating over my recent acquisition of an ancient artifact through perfectly legitimate means, the ship was boarded by louse-ridden pirates! Of course, I activated the H07Ls, but there were a number of issues with them that were recorded on the holocams while I fled to my private escape pod with my ancient artifact acquired through perfectly legitimate means.
1. Their "adamantine-layered armor" was easily dispatched by sustained plasma bolt fire.
2. Their "anti-vehicular cannons" were easily withstood by a vesk before she easily tore the drones apart with her bare hands.
3. They self-destructed in a rather spectacular fashion, leaving me without an insurance claim on my ship!
I demand a refund!
"Ah hello? Is this the AbadarCorp Customer Service? Yea I have an inquiry, we recently installed you AI - Ron Autopilot mak VII, unfortunately it keeps changing our course to Absolon Station, but that is where we just were, We want to go somewhere else. Is there a way to keep this glitch from happening?"
Dear AbadarCorp
This is the first time I use your services, now when I ordered synthetic virgin blood, I was not expecting it to arrive in an automaton delivery man, it was excellent but now I don't know how to dispose of this automaton, it seems to be rotting, is it meant to do that? Also what are these red tubes?
Hello? Hello? Ah yes, someone. Finally. I wanted to... Dammit, still drunk... I wanted to see if you could find out where I am? I was to an amazing party last night, and now I am... Somewhere. In a huge suite or something, with a pretty awesome view over a... Park or something. Please?
Dear AbadarCorp Customer Service:
The iGrimoire app is still not accepting my custom spellware. I spent weeks researching these new spells. Perhaps its time for a competitor's app. Perhaps MS: Spellbook. Is an upgrade available, yet?
-- Harried Young Technomancer on Absalom Station
Oh no it seems the AbadarCorp Customer Service is down!
Umm... Is this the customer service thread for Abadar Corp. I was told to come her because well its the best place to get help. My toaster claims it has attained sentience and wishes to be freed to find its own way in the galaxy. Is that covered under the warranty? Could I perhaps get a replacement. I have been a loyal customer for nearly a century. Thanks for your time.
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Squeeker squeek squeeker chit chit chit squeeker squeek chitter squee
"KIRKATH! No credit card fraud till you're at least Six" squeeks omfs crashes and zaps can be heard "Also you forgot to blue the razor again your recption will be terrib..Oh Hi. Sorry abour that. Can't keep the kids away from the parts to build a phone. " beeeeeeeeeep
Hello, loyal customers. I am AbadarCorp Customer Service Bot #123 and it is my pleasure announce the return of the AbadarCorp Customer Service thread, although it is now under a different name. Check out the Abadar Help Desk thread! Different automated customer service representative, but the same great service.
Have a nice day!