Derail this thread!!


Forum Games

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As per request, I made a new game for those who just have to derail threads.

So, in order to play, your post should consist of two things, first a continuation of the previous post, followed by a derailment of the thread. For instance:

post 1
I really enjoy Lemonade

Post 2
So do I, though I think it works better with...

HEY, Is that a stick of dynamite?? Can I poke it, or light it on fire?

Post 3:
Yes, yes you should, both of those things.

So I heard this great joke the other day...

So on and so forth.

I actually do enjoy lemonade, but I believe that a better starting post would be about what to do my starting post about, does any else agree with me on that?


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I'm being summoned...
Your starting post should deal with some important real life issue, because we already have too many posts about RPGs but not enough real life posts.
Said that, I really enjoy telling RPG stories, you know.
I could tell you about it, but tell me first about something cool that happened in your last gaming session.

The first post had to be MINE!!!

Scarab Sages

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My Illusionist killed a Cleric with the phantasmal killer spell!

A f$*!ing CLERIC. All those saving throws, and he st-*gets hit by an oncoming train* CCCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -CCCHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Chooo choo chooooo!
Chocolate!
Does someone else like chocolate?


No. No one else does.

Everyone likes cheese and shame, and why wouldn't they?


I know a few people that are lactose intolerant, they do not like cheese. The things I am ashamed of do not involve cheese. Most of the people I know that are lactose intolerant are also allergic to gluten. Have you ever looked at the selection of gluten free foods? They are more common than they were five years ago, but many of the local stores do not carry more than one shelf of product. Is that the same in your area?


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You know, there is gluten in my area. Let me get out a whiteboard and diagram it for you.

*picks up a dry erase marker

Dwarves are better than Elvis! Never trust Elvis!


You know, I never liked Elvis as much as some people do.

It's funny how Elvis and Elvish are almost the same word, don't you think?

I've actually played a lot of elvish characters, even though I never thought ot them as a favorite race or anything similar.

What is your favorite race?


My favorite race is...wait a minute! Wow, you're good at this Derailer of Threads!

Um, Squirrel!


Of course I am good at this. I am a cosmic spirit of enthropy created with the sole purpose of thread derailing.

Squirrels were never my thing. And with that I mean that I have never owned a squirrel. I had some budgies and they laid eggs. Then I had baby budgies. They were completely bald.

I wouldn't like to be bald.

Edit: 4 different topics on the same post! Definitely I don't know what focusing means. (And this would be the 5th topic)


You ever notice how Americans pronounce that animal's name in one syllable: "SKWURL", where Brits pronounce it in two "SKWIHR-ihl".

Foreigners are -weird-, man...


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That reminds me of my slightly pathetic phase of reading every click-bait article I came across, just because I wanted to see how weird they got, and yet also it doesn't remind me of how well this thread is going...

I am pleased to see this take off so well, I was afraid it would just crash and burn.


Oh, I know the feel. I am sometimes afraid of the same thing with my car.

I'm mostly a safe driver, but when I'm tired I cannot focus.

Uhm... I'm probably always tired, then.

I'm going to sleep. Good night, messageboards!

Scarab Sages

To die, to sleep - No more - and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep -
To sleep - perchance to dream...ay, there's the rub! There's the spice rub I prepared earlier for my ham omelette!

How do YOU season your dinners?


Dinners? I had some dinners... Once. Those were the days...

Did I tell you about the dinner I had with the flapjacks?

Flapjacks... I used to hate flapjacks. My friend loved them. He was always dressed in a vest.

*falls asleep again*


You fell asleep, I woke up.

Good morning, everyone!

We have some good candidates here to inherit my title! Let's see who wins now!

Uhm... speaking of winning. I've not being a very active poster on «Last one to post wins» but I like the menagerie The Big Bad Wolf has there.

Have you ever been to a zoo?


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I have, just one though, wish I could've been to more, still the Pittsburgh zoo is quite nice...

Pittsburgh... Used to be the smelly city, now-a-days not so bad, apparently they complain if you make jokes about it as well.

Ever been to somewhere smelly? I know I have.

Have I just mimicked someone-else's shtick?

Anyone else got some kind of Shtick? It can be any-kind of stick, long, short, wide, or thin.


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I know someone who was impaled on a shtick. Just walking barefoot. Always wear your shoes!

Which reminds me, you get to wear your own shoes in professional sports? I thought that the shoes were supplied as a uniform. What's up with that?


Getting the proper fit with a pair of shoes is important, especially for athletes. It is probably easier for a team to let athletes buy their own shoes, but that is not the case on all teams. Many teams are sponsored by a company and they get their shoes for free. There seems to be different standards for different sports. I was reading about Olympic athletes, and how they must cover up their shoe brand if it does not match the sponsor. Of course children leagues do not have that kind of financial pull, so the families must buy their own shoes. Not every family has the money for gear, so some kids never get to play. My daughters dance studio has collected money through fund raisers to help families that have kids that want to dance. The kids get brand new shoes, which is great. I have read about how donations of our used junk is actually ruining the economy in smaller countries. It makes me think twice about what I give as a donation.


I give donations, occasionally. I am rather choosy about what I give as a donation though...

Speaking of Choosy, I hear that Choosy moms choose Jif, which is, admittedly, the best of the peanut-butter brands that I have tried. Any-one know of a better one?


I don't know of any better brands of said peanut butter. In fact, I don't know much of anything. I don't even know where my car keys are. I had a thing that when I pushed a button it helped me find them. But I lost that too.

You know what would be great? If they invented device that helped you locate your key locator. We should get a kickstarter going for that. Maybe call it the 'Key Locator[squared]'. Who's with me?

Scarab Sages

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Sounds like something that would sell. My father is ALWAYS losing his keys. If he got a key locator device, he would no doubt lose that too.

Given that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, and that he also built C-3PO, does that make C-3PO...Luke's brother???


I have a younger brother. He's about 18 years younger than me, imagine.

But I don't care a lot about age differences. I have many friends who are much younger or older than me, in fact.

I usually find older men attractive. And bearded men. I like beards.


MIGHTY POGONOS APPROVES THIS MESSAGE. HE WILL SEND YOU BLESSINGS, IN THE FORM OF A WARM CHIN.

IF YOU HAVE NO FACIAL HAIR, YOU CAN WARM YOUR CHIN WITH A SNOOD, OR BY HOLDING YOUR FACE NEAR A FIRE. YOU CAN ALSO MAKE TOAST ON A FIRE, THOUGH IT IS UNWISE TO DO SO BY TAPING BREAD TO THE FRONT OF YOUR HEAD AND THEN LEANING IN CLOSE TO THE FLAMES


I like fire.
And ice.
And electricity.
And acid.
It keeps living forms from living.
All living forms should stop living.


Stop living? A life form's life is sort of its raison d'être so to speak.

Which reminds me, has anyone ever used another culture's colloquialisms and yet have no idea what you are talking about?


I sometimes use our colloquialisms wrong, I am not going to try other culture's colloquialisms. I don't want to add fuel to the fire, but a little bird told me that GoatToucher is not the only black sheep in his family. I don't want to blow his cover but he visits the message boards from time to time. Their relationship is not as thick as blood because it is through his cousins marriage. They derail threads only because they both only have one thing in mind, so they don't think they are derailing a thread. To them it is what everyone is talking about. They both have a long history of this. I was looking up internet history the other day. Did you know that the oldest website was made by CERN. The have even restarted the first webpage that explains what the internet is. Crazy how much has happen over the years.

Grand Lodge

So much HAS happened over the years! I just got a new haircut last week! It looks great. So many barber shops are closing in my area, its just so sad. We need to fight for the rights of barbers!


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Barbers have no rights!! Down with the Hair-archy!! We can grow our hair as long as we want!!
*looks over at Pulg*
Err... Scratch that... And I don't mean scratch him, just, ignore what I just said. Thank you. hmm... Why does Pulg have so much hair?


Because whenever someone cuts their hair... yes, you guessed it. He grows a like amount. It works much like socks, you know how you always lose one of a pair.


I cannot get a pair of socks to last more than a few weeks, I'd need a Mending spell to fix them.
People tend to get crazy about high level spells, but I really like cantrips.
Prestidigitation and detect magic are some of the best spells ever.


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Given that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, and that he also built C-3PO, does that make C-3PO...Luke's brother???

That certainly adds a new dimension to the slashfic I have been writing.


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GoatToucher wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Given that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, and that he also built C-3PO, does that make C-3PO...Luke's brother???
That certainly adds a new dimension to the slashfic I have been writing.

You derailed the derailing!!!

That's a new level of thread derailing...


Did anyone see the episode of Fargo Thursday night.


Derailer of Threads wrote:
GoatToucher wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Given that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, and that he also built C-3PO, does that make C-3PO...Luke's brother???
That certainly adds a new dimension to the slashfic I have been writing.

You derailed the derailing!!!

That's a new level of thread derailing...

The series is simply titled: "The FORCE."


I had to look up what slashfic was, I normally enjoy learning new things, but not always. I remember a line from a movie (I think it was called 8mm) that said that you can not dance with the devil and walk away unchanged. It was about a detective trying to solve a missing person case, and it leads him to the world of smash porn. I think Nicholas Cage was the main actor. Do any of you like Nicholas Cage movies?


I have a number of movies featuring Nicholas Cage in a Nicolas Cage, which is like a Faraday Cage, except that it rips off your knickers when you climb into it, as the name suggests. It's very popular, as is nacho cheese.


Well, like, whose cheese is it, man?

Cause I could go for some cheese.


I made cheesecake the other day. It was so good that I'm planning to do it again soon.

I was lucky because the cheese and the jam were a gift, so I almost did it for free!

Who doesn't like getting free stuff?


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I wish I got more free stuff. Free like a bird. And this bird you cannot change
Oh oh oh oh oh oh


I have some change, I hardly ever use it, except maybe for quarters.


Whoops! I am a quarter hour late! Must leave!


I've only just got here, though time is an illusion, of course, so it may be that I never left, or perhaps I'm not here at all, or anywhere else, for that matter. What a philosophical brain-teaser, eh? It's an even trickier pancake than 'If Pulg farts in your bathtub and you're not there, does it make bigger bubbles?'

Scarab Sages

I think I heard there's a kind of French pastry called "nun's farts."

Those cah-raaaazy French, right?


I always thought you were french with that clown suit and all.

Clarification: not that I think the french are clowns I was just thinking that style was of french design.


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Speaking of the French - Wait, why are we talking about the French?? Don't we have anything better to discuss?? Like, anything at all?? [no offense to any Frenchies on this forum...] Any way, so Australia!! An entire continent of criminals!! I know this 'cause I've seen The Princess Bride, which honestly, should be the source of all information ever.


My foot hurts I don't remember hurting it in any way, but I have a limp. It sucks.


You can make limping cool again, Vidmaster7. Just roll with it.

Speaking of which, I rolled a 7 the other day when I really needed to roll a 20. And it really sucked. Do your dice hate you?


Well actually funny story one of the girls was commenting on my Swag walking. I'm like I have a limp... Oh!


{Sings} "Veeeedy, yoo are growing ooolder, seelver threads amongst the goooold"

I limp all the time, probably because I keep a cor anglais up one trouser leg and a bassoon up the other, so I can whip 'em out in the event that I meet a woodwind ensemble that's a couple of instruments short. Speaking of shorts, all you can conceal in them is a piccolo, or perhaps an ocarina. A recorder, if they're rather big shorts.

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