At once, Your Turgidity! We used his two bricks to bludgeon his estranged wife, Catherine! Now you two are free to wed!
Minions! Apply the ointment and creams to my Secret Places (who am I kidding: They're no secret!)
Help! We got trapped in your safebox while applying ointments to it! And there are really bizarre things here!
Minions, become maxions!
Mistress, thank you. Now for your first task as our servant,
Extinguish them. Painfully!
Oh great and twisted one, we playfully gave them new guiche piercing rings. None of them had ones made out of tin anyways.
Minions! Dig a well for the poor village people.
Captain we have taught the village people to dig better via gentle whipping
Minions! locate for me the lost vixen ninja clan
Yes, sir! We relocated it to grant you'd never find it so it keeps being a lost clan.
Minions! Behave yourselves!
Yes, my witch queen! We have shaved the elves. Now we have a mob of angry bald elves!
Minions! Disperse the mob!
Yes, sir, throwing dispersion grenades to them in 3, 2, 1...
Minions, more grenades!
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Yes, sir! We have given more grenades to the angry bald elves.
Minions! RUN!!!
We're out of rum, but we have beer, captain!
Minions, straight ahead!
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Yes sir! We have put your head in a straightening device.
Minions! Bring me pictures of a succubus pin-up!!!
Yes boss; we have gone rafting
Minions! Get me off this island
Yes master! But this be leaking boat, master not mind, no?
We get as far as school of sharks.
Minions!! Go sink that Besmara battleship!
We battled everybody in Bethesda...and took their kitchen sink as you requested oh great, "THE".
Minions! Crack some eggs now!
Your green-ness, we have pushed humpty dumpty down the wall, and likewise with his unmentioned siblings. What other person must we push off a wall next?
Minions!! Make sure Electronic Arts is not involved in any Bioware games anymore!
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Your Fiendishness, we have stopped Bioware, from ever making another product, for an electronic platform. They now publish terrible tabeltop romance games instead.
Minions! I'm still waiting for my succubus pin-up pictures!!!
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Your most shininess, we tried to pin up a succubus in your throne room as you commanded, alas the pins all bent on her demonic, yet enticingly smooth, skin. She seems, upset.
Minions! Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up!
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Sorry, sir, we tried to pin some succubi up for taking some photos, but they energy drained us each time we attempted it. Who'd know that pinning them up would count as a grapple...
Minions! Clean my car!
Your most hygienic one we have cleaned every inch of your car. We even cleaned your engine by running bleach through the gas tank. Your car has apparently leveled up, because it currently has cast obscuring mist on itself.
Minions! The poor need to be fed now.
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Your Uniqueness, we have fed the poor, with sausages made from some of the poor (mwhahahaha...cough...hack...).
Minions! Give me a back-rub!!!
Boss-jester, we made you some dens, they be populated by wolves, combat wolves, for your amuse...your fun seeing.
Minions!! Organize french maid cafe!
No, not turnz them into coffee, iz not what goblins mean, btw.
O Natures Reject, we have forced the dungeon Otyugh, the Froghemoth and Owlbear into maid costumes, and they are currently serving the guests....to each other for lunch.
Minions! I smell like a barbeque, bathe me!!!
As you are aware Cap-i-tan Hardshell, we are bathing you in bbq sauce and roasting you on a spit. Mmmmmmmm mmmmmm!
Minions! Flee for your lives!
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A fair trade, my squamous liege! We offer you a rock/punk fusion bassist in exchange for our continued squalid existences.
Minions! Bring in the Sensual Dancers! :claps hands authoritatively:
Oh great an confusing one we have defecated on the dead flowers, as per your request.
Minions! Dig up and replant my garden.
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Kobold-man, we scooped up and rearrange all the ground in garden, and placed in your house. We bring nettles for replanting, you like yes?
Minions!! Build a big bonfire to roast halflings on!
We roasted marshmallows all night with those halflings as you ordered. Great company, those halflings! Great bonfire! Great ale! Good times! We're planning on doing this again next Saturday, should you so order it again.
Minions. Stop pestering me and go find something to do!
Great and Terrible Mandible Bedecked One! we have found you, after much toil and casualties, something Toto, a moth eaten concert tee-shirt from 1978!
Minions! Find me all the pieces of the Rod of Seven Parts!
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O, Verdant Master, we, your humble servants, present you with the mutilated body of Scottish pop star Rod Stuart!
Minions! Floss my toes!
He Whom Makes the Legs of Lady Goats Weak, we have flenched the skin from your toes as as requested, though that looks painful, shall we go forth and fetch the bandages and neosporan now?
Minions! Bring me the fresh heart of a elf virgin so that I may FEAST!
Yes boss we have bought the virgin elf beast you requested
Minions! do something about those other Kaiju! I need my beauty sleep
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Minions! do something about those other Kaiju!
God bless you! We'll fetch some allergy medicine right away.
Minions! To the wall! Fortify the, uh, Fort!
Master we are humbled by your most gracious warning to clear the room before you broke wind.
Minions! Get me the head of the mystic white stag.
Sir!!! we have brought you this majestic white flag.
Minions! Bring me the families, of the great nobles of the land, to be held as hostages.
Oh Most Well Armored One, we have brought you the family of the most obese lard filled noble in our lands. Alas your Lordship, it would seem the pantry has fallen to your hostages.
Minions! Go defend my CABBAGES to the death!
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Oh Great Rockjaw of the Hardened Ones...we, your army, fought each other to the death over your cabbages! Your cabbages remain, but 'tis only I who has survived.
Minions, disguise yourselves as a giant robot!
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Supreme Sanguinectomizer, we now bear these cunning dinosaur/prehistoric mammal costumes in emulation of the first Power Rangers Zords! Our enemies shall tremble before our unambiguously-robotic might!
Minions! Make for me a man, with blonde hair and a tan, who shall be good for relieving my...tension!
*Gets shoved in front of IHIYC* I mean I'm mostly blond definitely tanned They said you wanted a massage or something?
Minions! Find me a new closet this one seems to have a clown in it!
Bearded leader, we have found you a new Closed this One. It might be a mimic, but only your beardness is allowed to find out.
Minions!! Clean the polluted air that hangs over Beijing!
Yes boss we have removed all the air over Beijing, everyone there has stopped moving for some reason
Minions! Expand the brewery!
*The expansive wave generated from the explosion of the the brewery kills all minions and half of the town*
Minions, Raise the Dead! Not Animate, Raise!
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Yes, your octopusness, we have now razed all the corpses. People seem to be rather upset. We told them not to worry, it is on your orders.
Minions, get my airship up and running properly!
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Yes, boss! I have casted Animate Object on your airship and told it to do some jogging. I hope it can lose those last few pounds!
Minions, pin the tail on the dragon!
Yes boss, we have pined the main sail on the blues dragon
Minions! water the forest; quickly!
Milord, we have doused Tom Hanks with water, he is thoroughly watered.
Minions!! Take care of those soccer hooligans, make sure they don't riot!!
Sire, while we were engaged with the ominous soccer hooligans we were completely overrun by the Ballroom Blitz!
Minions! Mince the onions!
Ant boss, we have put whole onions in minced meat. It good bite.
Minions!! Prepare burger made of minced halfling toes!!