1000 Things To Not do in the Pathfinder Universe


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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Eh? 1 rank, 10 Wis, class skill gives you +4. Taking 10 gives you 7 gold pieces per week.

A Common Meal and a mug of ale costs you 1/2 a gp per night (so in 7 days you spend 3 gp, 5 sp). You can stay at a s&~@ty inn for 2 sp per night (so 1 gp, 4 sp per week).

So for room and board you're spending 4 gp, 9 sp per week leaving you with 2 gp, 1 sp per week to spare. Maybe you buy a new set of clothes so you can have an outfit to wear every day (1 sp per outfit, so 7 sp). Maybe you just decide to buy a second meal every day (buy a Poor Meal for breakfast or lunch, at only 1 sp a pop, so 7 more sp). So you're eating twice a day and clothed...and STILL have 7 sp to spare for other necessities or frivolities, just in the first week. You could use that to up your food intake to three squares a day (7 sp), or buy toiletries and luxuries like soap (1 cp), a lamp (1 sp) and the oil to burn it for 6 hours (1 sp) and various other things.

That's as a barely trained first level laborer who has no particular natural aptitude for any trade (low Wis).


60. Never cross a 10 ft pit on a sapling pole without first looking in the pit. There might be a gelatinous cube resting inside that cozy crevasse.


Sundakan wrote:

Eh? 1 rank, 10 Wis, class skill gives you +4. Taking 10 gives you 7 gold pieces per week.

A Common Meal and a mug of ale costs you 1/2 a gp per night (so in 7 days you spend 3 gp, 5 sp). You can stay at a s@#*ty inn for 2 sp per night (so 1 gp, 4 sp per week).

So for room and board you're spending 4 gp, 9 sp per week leaving you with 2 gp, 1 sp per week to spare. Maybe you buy a new set of clothes so you can have an outfit to wear every day (1 sp per outfit, so 7 sp). Maybe you just decide to buy a second meal every day (buy a Poor Meal for breakfast or lunch, at only 1 sp a pop, so 7 more sp). So you're eating twice a day and clothed...and STILL have 7 sp to spare for other necessities or frivolities, just in the first week. You could use that to up your food intake to three squares a day (7 sp), or buy toiletries and luxuries like soap (1 cp), a lamp (1 sp) and the oil to burn it for 6 hours (1 sp) and various other things.

That's as a barely trained first level laborer who has no particular natural aptitude for any trade (low Wis).

So, barely trained - you have a few sp to spare. Increase you training, and you might have a few gp to spare. So you won't starve, but you will still be incredibly poor. As long as your GM is okay with you taking 10 (I know some who are very much against that...).


Yes, if you are a minimum wage low skilled worker in real life you're in much the same boat. If you are better trained and have a higher aptitude with certain things, then you an make quite a comfortable living in the PF world.

If you're, say, a 5th level Expert with 14 Wis who is trained in Profession: Barrister (i.e. you're a reasonably talented lawyer IRL) you're looking at +10, for Take 10 = 20 and 10 gp per week. Given how cheap all your common amenities are you now, starting from nothing, have enough to save up for your own home and all that good stuff.

As for GMs not allowing take 10...if they're houseruling away a core option, I could just as easily say your GM instead houserules Profession to give gp equal to 5x the check result per day instead. Both things are just as irrelevant.


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More on topic:

61: Even if you CAN'T see a cube at the bottom of the pit, never discount the possibility of a transparent Ooze.


62: Remember, different gods and GM styles make for different acceptable behaviors for sacred classes. Don't error on the side of RAW vs the GM.
63: If the GM seems to be trying to make your character fall, don't make your next character a paladin.


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64) As a Paladin, remember that if the target is evil enough, committing a heist will not violate your Paladin Code of Conduct. Especially if the primary objective is something the target needs in order to commit some evil ritual. Make sure you do your homework on the target before hand.

65) The Paladin Code of Conduct says you must "respect legitimate authority." If the local government is trying to stop you from committing a good act, or is engaging in evil or overtly oppressive actions, you no longer have to do what they say.


LegitName wrote:

<snip>

Never...
1. Attempt to Craft a full plate of armor. Going off the crafting rules presented in the core rulebook, crafting a full plate would take years.
<snip>

66) Never craft full plate unless your GM lets you use the alternate crafting rules from PF Unchained, and only if you have enough help to beat the DC by 5.

Under the alternate crafting rules, Masterwork full plate is an intricate item with a dc of 25 and costs 1650gp. Making the check gets you 8gp of progress per day, which works out to 206.25 days. Beating the dc by 5 doubles the progress, and every additional 5 by which you beat it increases that multiplier by 1. So getting a 30 moves that to 103.125 days, a 35 drops it to 68.75 days, and getting a 40 drops it to 51.5626.

Oh, and that doesn't account for using the special versions of the raw materials. Especially easily worked and flawless.

66.a) Even under the alternate crafting rules, don't start that full plate until you get the special raw materials.


67) In PFS don't start to craft anything magical. Instead, ask your GM if you can buy it half price. Don't waste your time.


So hard to run this and a campaign at the same time...
68.) Don't jump in the river.


Honestly, which particular one? Experiences vary, greatly.

No number here, obviously.


AM DIFFERENT BARBARIAN wrote:

42.-NOT MAKE FUN OF BARBARIAN. BARBARIAN AM SMASH ALL!

AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN", BUT AM DIFFERENT BARBARIAN. AM NOT ABLE TO COUNT. AM DUMP "IHN-TEHL-UH-GINTZ," BECAUSE BARBARIAN NOT SMASH NOT-BARBARIANS WITH "IHN-TEHL-UH-GINTZ." AM USE "IHN-TIH-MUH-DAET" TO SCARE TALKYMAN TO SAY NUMBER FOR BARBARIAN, OR BARBARIAN SMASH TALKYMAN LIKE PANCAKE.

Totally, AWESOME!

Shadow Lodge

69.) Do not ask Calistrians for parenting advice. They don't do that sort of consul.


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When they suggested summoning a succubus for your friends bachelor party, they did not mean Nocticula.

70.) Don't mess with demon lords.

Grand Lodge

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71: don't cast obscuring mist when the enemy has a wand of fireball and we are in a small, celingless room. Please.


This post is dying. I should have waited to start this.
72: Don't try to run a list post and pathfinder campaign at the same time.


73: Never put your own money in the show.

Dark Archive

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74. I know you really want to check out that room you guys skipped earlier in the dungeon, and I know you're probably thinking "I can keep all the sweet, sweet loot to myself! I'll just back out if there's trouble!" but for the love of Cayden please, PLEASE, don't double back by yourself at the end of a long dungeon crawl when the rest of the party is counting loot. You will be grappled, it will eat you, and your GM will hate you for making him debate over whether your fool self should get a second chance at life.

75. If you do get a second chance, PLEASE don't do it again.


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76. Do not play with only 2 normal characters. It takes at least a Magus and a bard. 2 NPCs will serve if necessary.


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LuniasM wrote:


75. If you do get a second chance, PLEASE don't do it again.

I'm going to embroid this one on a piece of fabric, put it on a beautiful framework and give it to one of my players, whose birthday is next month.

After I explained him TWICE why it was a bad idea, gave him advice on how to avoid death, and let him replay the whole scene, he did it again. He is still sure that I am the one who killed his character.

Dark Archive

Kileanna wrote:
LuniasM wrote:


75. If you do get a second chance, PLEASE don't do it again.

I'm going to embroid this one on a piece of fabric, put it on a beautiful framework and give it to one of my players, whose birthday is next month.

After I explained him TWICE why it was a bad idea, gave him advice on how to avoid death, and let him replay the whole scene, he did it again. He is still sure that I am the one who killed his character.

There's just no helping some people.


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LuniasM wrote:
Kileanna wrote:
LuniasM wrote:


75. If you do get a second chance, PLEASE don't do it again.

I'm going to embroid this one on a piece of fabric, put it on a beautiful framework and give it to one of my players, whose birthday is next month.

After I explained him TWICE why it was a bad idea, gave him advice on how to avoid death, and let him replay the whole scene, he did it again. He is still sure that I am the one who killed his character.
There's just no helping some people.

You can lead a player to Truth, but you can't make him think.


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76. Never get drunk within accessible distance of the Starstone

Dark Archive

That'll be 77 actually.

78. Don't expect armor to keep you alive. Some people are just good enough to hit you regardless, some monsters will just grapple and eat you, and then there's those jerks that cheat and use guns and magic so you may as well be wearing toilet paper. Armor won't make you invincible. What it will do is keep you alive longer. Hopefully long enough to kill whatever's attacking you.


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79. As much as the idea might appeal, don't grapple the succubus.

Dark Archive

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Drahliana Moonrunner wrote:
79. As much as the idea might appeal, don't grapple the succubus.

Addendum: Without immunity to energy drain.


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Klorox wrote:
76. Never get drunk within accessible distance of the Starstone

77a: Or the town well


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LuniasM wrote:
Drahliana Moonrunner wrote:
79. As much as the idea might appeal, don't grapple the succubus.
Addendum: Without immunity to energy drain.

All immunities wear out, and once you enter grapple with a succubus, you never leave it. Last grapple is what 6 years and still going strong?

Dark Archive

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Drahliana Moonrunner wrote:
LuniasM wrote:
Drahliana Moonrunner wrote:
79. As much as the idea might appeal, don't grapple the succubus.
Addendum: Without immunity to energy drain.
All immunities wear out, and once you enter grapple with a succubus, you never leave it. Last grapple is what 6 years and still going strong?

And a 6-year-long grapple with a succubus is bad because...?

Grand Lodge

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ShadeKyubi wrote:
Klorox wrote:
76. Never get drunk within accessible distance of the Starstone
77a: Or the town well

Is "Do not go down the well" on this list yet?


80. Don't be a chained Rogue. Unchain yourself, man !


81. Give actual advise on this kinda forum.
82. Give poor advise on this kinda forum.
83. Get conflicted on this type of issue.


Quiche Lisp wrote:
80. Don't be a chained Rogue. Unchain yourself, man !

Already said that.

Darksol the Painbringer wrote:
20. Don't build a classic Rogue. (Unless you want to purposefully gimp yourself.)


84. Don't. F!*#. With Drendle Dreng.
84a. In any sense of the word.


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85. Referring to the Pathfinder system as a "setting" or "universe."


Given that PF is very much tied to Golarion, I don't see the problem much.


Klorox wrote:
Given that PF is very much tied to Golarion, I don't see the problem much.

Of course they're going to have a setting tied to the game. Like how D&D has Greyhawk, but Dungeons and Dragons isn't a setting. D&D and Pathfinder exist to run said settings and anything else someone wants to make. You can technically run Golarion using GURPS.

It's not a problem, it's a minor peeve, lol.

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86. Play any race other than Dwarves or Elves when assuming that they're like their D&D counterparts.

Goblins are hilarious fire gremlins, Drow are scary mad scientists, Gnomes are tutti-frutti fey who can quite literally die of boredom, Halflings are slaves, Humans are awesome at everything, Half-Orcs and Half-Elves are super versatile...


Nitro~Nina wrote:

85. Play any race other than Dwarves or Elves when assuming that they're like their D&D counterparts.

Goblins are hilarious fire gremlins, Drow are scary mad scientists, Gnomes are tutti-frutti fey who can quite literally die of boredom, Halflings are slaves, Humans are awesome at everything, Half-Orcs and Half-Elves are super versatile...

I like how you disagree with what I put for 85 so you just pretend it doesn't exist.

Grand Lodge

Sauce987654321 wrote:
Nitro~Nina wrote:

85. Play any race other than Dwarves or Elves when assuming that they're like their D&D counterparts.

Goblins are hilarious fire gremlins, Drow are scary mad scientists, Gnomes are tutti-frutti fey who can quite literally die of boredom, Halflings are slaves, Humans are awesome at everything, Half-Orcs and Half-Elves are super versatile...

I like how you disagree with what I put for 85 so you just pretend it doesn't exist.

Oops, sorry! Completely unintentional, I promise. I'll edit that quicksharp.

I actually agree with what you said, for the record.

EDIT: I have now edited my mistake.


Nitro~Nina wrote:
Sauce987654321 wrote:
Nitro~Nina wrote:

85. Play any race other than Dwarves or Elves when assuming that they're like their D&D counterparts.

Goblins are hilarious fire gremlins, Drow are scary mad scientists, Gnomes are tutti-frutti fey who can quite literally die of boredom, Halflings are slaves, Humans are awesome at everything, Half-Orcs and Half-Elves are super versatile...

I like how you disagree with what I put for 85 so you just pretend it doesn't exist.

Oops, sorry! Completely unintentional, I promise. I'll edit that quicksharp.

I actually agree with what you said, for the record.

EDIT: I have now edited my mistake.

It's cool, sorry, lol. I probably should've just assumed it was a mistake or something.


Nitro~Nina wrote:
...Humans are awesome at everything...

Humans have always been awesome at everything.


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remember AD&D when their only advantage was unlimited single class advancement in whatever class they qualified for... took 3.e to make humans interesting again.

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SilvercatMoonpaw wrote:
Nitro~Nina wrote:
...Humans are awesome at everything...
Humans have always been awesome at everything.

Eh, they were good in 3.5, and versatile, but they didn't have the awesome favoured class bonuses or the extra skill point every level or the ability to emulate every single other humanoid race. They were good, but not amazing. They weren't automatically in the top two core races for any class, like they are in Pathfinder. They really shone for multiclassing, but that's more the Half-Elf's niche now.


87. Don't try to slip an already used joke in a thread watched by a creature self-described as "Painbringer" ;-).


88. Don't use insider and self-referenced jokes. Every will hate you and you will be forced to play as one of the iconics.
89. Never play as one of the iconics. Those stats, my gods !


90. Don't eat people (unless you know Purify Food and Drink).

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Particle_Man wrote:
90. Don't eat people (unless you know Purify Food and Drink).

91. Don't drink blood unless the same filters are applied.


92. Don't whine if dire consequences result from your actions.
A: Cannibals rise as ghouls.
B: Blood Drinkers rise as vampires.
C: Atheists reincarnate as Lamias.
D: The most useless character gets possessed or contracts Lycanthropy.


Sundakan wrote:
Darksol the Painbringer wrote:


Anti-Magic Field and Spellbane against any counters to Anti-Magic Field say hi. That caster wouldn't stand a chance.

You can Spellbane against Spellbane, so it's turtles all the way down.

22.) Forget to taste-test your potions, they might be poison.

93.) Don't taste anything you aren't prepared to handle.

94.)Once you are immune to Poison and Disease, never forget to lick any piece of loot you claim as your own before claiming it. Not even a single copper piece.

95.) Don't ever get swallowed whole without your Insta-Tree.

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