BigNorseWolf makes you question humanity here


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BigNorseWolf wrote:
quibblemuch wrote:

I would like to welcome our new corvidae overlords, and point out that as a trusted member of the forum community, I can be useful in rounding up others to toil in their underground road-kill caves...

they are not only communicating, they have languages and accents. IE, if you play the "PREDATOR!" call from south carolina crows, north carolina crows fly away. new jersey crows just go "what?"

Mind. Blown.

The Exchange

Crows can get very aggressive. Apparently someone was walking too near a crow's nest and two crows started divebombing and pecking him and he had to run away in a hurry...


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Crows freaking OWN Yoyogi park. It's not even a competition; humans are just interlopers.


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Eh, it could be worse. The canada geese own the University of Waterloo. No, seriously.


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Late friday night early saterday morning in syracuse. I lived as a boarder in the forestry frathouse.

Random drunk guy walking past the place with his girlfriend sees the chainsaw carved stumps and one of the guys sitting on the porch , and starts angrily demanding that he carve him a stick.

Being an unapologetic stereotype , i actually do carve. So i came around the side of the house with a carved wooden stick, and asked the guy what he wanted on his.

He asked tried to pick a fight with the guy on the porch, and me, alternately.

I scratched my ear with my foot, while standing up. (because I could, and confusing drunk people is funny)

His girlfriend started pushing him away. "you are not fighting him (guy on porch) and you are definitely not fighting THAT! points at me.


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You know you do too many role playing games when...

Doing a bat survey and we're a little lost. Drive down a dirt road, find the old railroad bridge over the river, a patch of fenced in land that looks like the federal land we're supposed to be on, but no way to it.

Someone starts driving up, and i get a bad feeling about this So I spread the map over the hood of the car to make it plain we're not looking for trouble. Someone gets out of the car with an AK 47 looking thing, Points it once at my surveying partner, then keeps it trained on me the entire time. he tells me to back up a bit.

My brain starts going "5 foot step behind the car, readied action to dive for cover, trees for cover and then swim check" So i take a BIG step back. He starts babbling about coyotes, meth labs, and people and that he's shot both and it didn't bother him. I mention that we're here studying bats, we have bat books, a bat detector , and the GPS said we were supposed to set up here *hint hint. Someone knows where we are*

The diplomacy check is a success, and he downgrades from the ak 47 thing to a hand cannon we get into the car and get out of there, and stop at the nearest gas station to get a soda, candy, empty some over taxed bladders and celebrate still being alive.

He asked me "how are you not completely freaking out right now? He pointed the gun at me once and i was du du du..."

Well one I'm from new york, two, have you ever heard of role playing games.."


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My ill fated trip to africa...

I'm crossing the large patch of desert in between two parts of the town. Some of the locals offer to show me across and we start walking together. The usual begging gets a little aggressive (i'm wearing the only shoes in the country that will fit me and my glasses are prescription) , and starts to cross the line into a mugging.

"Look, I outweigh the three of you* and I'm from new york.

Middle of the sahara desert. The three of them in unison go. "Oh. New york.." put their hands up and start backing away like they're expecting me to draw an uzi out of my beach pants.

*this was in french, so i think i said "i have more kilograms than the three of you together*


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I enjoy your stories I have a mental image of a homid form garou doing all these things.


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Working at the park, I'm supposed to get the forklift, bring it down the hill to the parking lot and lift something up.

Problem with this place was they never showed you how to use anything, and would explicitly forbid you from trying to learn how to drive anything, until all of a sudden they need you to do something tricky with it, NOW its time to learn.

I go to get a forklift. Someone tells me to take the newer one, there's a roof on it and it;s raining out. I go get that one, and its parked a hairs breadth away from a freshly painted car. Yeah, not going to try to thread the needle on something i've never driven and put a huge scratch on that.

I snag the other forklift and prepare to get rained on. It drives a little funny, but i can get it out the door around the corner and down the hill. Okay just hit the brakes...

No brakes. At all.

So the forklift winds up going WAY past its acceptable speed, downhill, over rough blacktop bouncing me around. And i need to turn it or go smack into a gas pump. I turn it as little as i can, and i still wind up leaning up on two wheels. The thing coasts to a stop and slams back down on all four wheels.

My friend takes a second to blink and then starts laughing. "Your face was PURPLE. No expression. Just purple. Your life just flashed before your eyes didn't it?"


One of the parks had notoriously bad wiring, even for the parks (which is saying something). We had a pump running on a few extension cords. The pump stopped, myself and a smaller worker both reached down to fix the cord...and its a good thing i beat her on initiative.

The cord surged. There was an audible SNAP, and my arms started shaking as i got electrocuted. One of the tines on the cord melted.

The boss came over to complain we were just standing around. Unfortunately it wasn't static electricity so i couldn't pass it on without grabbing the cord again.

The Exchange

When I get sick I say I failed my fort save.

I generally fail my perception checks, and I swear I dumped both wis and cha. And probably dex too.

And I seriously think America would be a safer place if they banned guns.

What did you get out of getting electrocuted? I.e - was it burns or something else?


Mostly just twitchy muscles for a few hours. No burns.


I feel like if a forklift didn't have functioning brakes a sign on said forklift might be appropriate.


Vidmaster7 wrote:
I feel like if a forklift didn't have functioning brakes a sign on said forklift might be appropriate.

In my experience, all forklifts are marked with "use at your own risk" regardless. I have yet to use one that didn't have *something* catastrophically wrong with it.


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Why did the coyote cross the road...

Driving in a state truck in the park and there's a coyote on the side of the road running back and forth, hopping up and down. I pull off to the side of the road, grab by vest and get traffic to slow down a bit, he crosses over to the median. Gives me a quick look, and starts pacing back and forth at the traffic going the other way for a second, then looks at me and starts yipping.

So i go to the median, but because traffics going the other way (the coyote is "upstream " of me i have to get pretty close to the coyote for this to work and i don't want to scare him into traffic. So walk near slowly. slowly. slowly. Another look and more yips, and he's not even bothering to look at me. Okay, slow traffic again and give him the go signal. he crosses gives me a look and vanishes.

Saw me stop traffic once and said "hey, that was cool, get over here and do that again"


Rise of the Planet of the Coyotes? That seems abnormally smart, patient, and trusting but it's entirely probable that Illinois coyotes have been unofficially hunted so much that they've learned humans are horrible to be around. Farmers routinely shoot coyotes on sight, for reasons good and bad.


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Vanykrye wrote:
Rise of the Planet of the Coyotes? That seems abnormally smart, patient, and trusting but it's entirely probable that Illinois coyotes have been unofficially hunted so much that they've learned humans are horrible to be around. Farmers routinely shoot coyotes on sight, for reasons good and bad.

That was in a state park, with suburbs all around it, so they're probably used to humans as a novelty if not a food source.

Around here hunting has really declined as we don't have nearly as much land open for it, and the deer have gotten so bad the farmers would feed the coyotes steroids if anything. They can go after deer in the winter but aren't quite big enough to go after them in the summer.

Also, i seem to have a sign on my head that says "druid". Not sure how the critters know, but they do...

Scarab Sages

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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber

I am the reason that there are signs in zoos.

I try to pet things. Always. Because you can befriend anything as long as you just give them the right kind of scratchies.


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Glad to see there is a fellow druid in NY BNW...

Now if I could only get out of this cage...eerr cubicle I work in and be a full time druid rather than a nights and weekends druid :)

Totally enjoyed dressing down a pair of folks fishing (I fly fish allot) for throwing their 6-8 inch stock browns they were catching off a bridge that was 12 feet up, which of course, is bad for the fish. (I did manage to grab on of the poor belly up brown trout and save it, failed to save a second, which is when the bellow then took place...)

Stormed over and launched into a "that is animal abuse and my tax dollars (I always pay for my yearly fishing license), so either you put those fish back gently and give them some rest/recovery time (offered to show them the right way to do that) or I throw YOU off this bridge after hooking your mouth with an overly large barbed bait hook." (I don't even use barbed hooks when I fish, and am one of those catch and release guys).

Just got back from a killer long Memorial day weekend fishing the west branch of the Ausable River, 17 trout is not a bad weekend, best was a 16 inch 2-3 pound battle scared specimen. Ahh, it's like being kind to all creatures great and small has it's rewards!

Though that one black carpenter ant I kept throwing off me while napping at our Wilmington Notch camp site may have not enjoyed his fights, but, it was warned, and was not crushed despite getting on my face several times.

And critters seriously know the international sign for druid, even if we the druids, have no idea WHAT the sign is! (maybe a visible to animals only neon sign that flashes "Everything is cool, I am a druid")


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Try shining a blacklight over your body, BNW. I imagine it shows up in UV, that "I'm a druid" sign. If it's pheromones though, you'll have to try harder to find out.


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A druid-like moment I remember from Boy Scout summer camp.

Bird:

Incredibly hot and dry July. The few weeks before the camp had no rain, that week had none and it was over 90 most days. The dining fly was the only shelter from the sun and we methodically moved the camp chairs to stay in the shade.

One day, a little before noon, a bird flew down onto the table next to me. It didn't move much, didn't look much at me, and it just stood there. I'm not sure if birds regularly leave there mouths open to expel heat quickly, but this one surely was.

After a few minutes I poured some water from my canteen into the cap for the bird. I didn't watch the bird much after that... would you like being stared at by a creature more than 10 times your size... but it left sometime after we left for lunch.

Another fun memory of Boy Scout camp involving

Ants:

A boy was getting ready to throw out some licorice (or something like that) when he noticed ants had crawled into the package.

I asked him to bring it to me instead. I pulled out a piece and happily ate it and the ants. Crunchy little guys that now tasted like candy. After a few more pieces the ants started to run out of the package.

No Wild Empathy with vermin, but they got the point well enough.


Yes, birds do pant to expire heat. Feathers are a pretty decent insulator :)


Homestyle insect candy for Wraith!


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Something gray and fuzzy at my sliding glass back door. So I open it up to let the cat in.

The cat, who is currenly sitting on the counter, lets out a scared "mwooOOOWOWWW" and gives me the "wtf look..."

At my feet is now a very worried raccoon looking up and holding still, who apparenly had no idea that the glass could move, and started chanting " "Don't move! He can't see you, if you don't move."" to himself...


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Trash Panda...yes..it is SO much worse!

Raccoons crack me up though, I have had a very tubby one steal Doritos while camping... (used my headlamp and walking stick to try and shoo him outa the bag and away from camp, all he did was hide behind a tree and then look at me, waiting to see If I would give up and let him have the gorram Doritos. Came to learn the folks camping next to us left the garbage strewn about, so I was not tubs fault really, other humans with bad habits are to blame there) and an angry looking one prepared to jump on my equally angry looking foreman's head, and when we told him "Hey John there is a large male raccoon about ready to lacerate your scalp on that beam above you..." He replies with

"Yeah, well, we all have our raccoons to bare don't we..."

Then he looked up "Oh, you meant there was a REAL one...huh..."


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No critter proved itself to be as scary* at Boy Scout Summer Camp as the raccoon.

I only had a close encounter with a raccoon once and it was rather funny. I brought a cooler with me and at the Scout Masters directions all coolers should be padlocked shut. So, I had it chained and padlocked closed almost all the time. One night I awoke to a scratching and whining from inside the tent. I look over the side of the cot, see the dim outline of a critter and two eyes. I mutter "good luck with that" and roll back over to sleep. Raccoon didn't get anything from me that week, but the other less prepared campers weren't so lucky.

Be Prepared. It's the motto for a reason.

*:
New campers are warned numerous times that you are now in the raccoon's backyard. Expect him to raid your tent for food if you leave it out. When you get back from the dining hall after dinner, he might be in your tent when you get back if you weren't careful.


On Sunday morning I saw red squirrel roaming next to one of toilets at the Aviation Museum where I currently work.

Squirrels are quite abundant in local parks and not terribly skittish, but this one didn't mind me walking within less than a meter, without even stopping scrounging under the tree for a moment.


Red squirrels are actually rather tough little buggers...and yes...too gorram cute...


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Red squirrels are insane.

In the Adirondacks I had one squirrel chasing another across a road while i was walking into town. One ran right between my legs. The other ran straight into my walking stick, ran up it and started yelling at me for getting in the way.

I think they're larval forms of wolverines.


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That explains allot...

Dragon fly nymphs are vicious...thus if red squirrels are a larval form of wolverines...the same would be true!

Hey, what do you mean that is not scientific...!


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And they make gangs on university campuses, extorting foodstuff from the students.


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Gotta keep the freshman weight off...thus squirrels are also health trainers...

Ok, too much Happy Tree Friends for me it seems...


I was taking a backcountry canoe trip, right on the border of Minnesota and Ontario. Stopped at a clear space of shore for a break and lunch. The dog is investigating the area while I eat. All of a sudden a chase breaks out as he's after a red squirrel. The squirrel leads him into a bush... on the other side of the bush is a 70% sloped rock that drops into the water. The squirrel made it to whatever hidey hole he was going for, while the dog ends up in the lake. He hated water and panicked. I had to get waist deep to drag him out. Mind you, it was October and not warm out.


Clearly a certain red squirrel had levels in range (skirmisher) and used a skirmisher trick on your pup...

North country squirrels must have the advanced class guide ;)


It's not the first dog to get tricked either.

Another trip, nearly 30 years ago, same region of Minnesota. I'm probably 10 at the time. We're at the first campsite, only about a 2 hour paddle/portage from the car. It's just after dinner and a chase break outs. The dog is tearing through the campsite after a red. My dad's fishing poles are leaning against a tree. The dog barrels straight through them, getting a multi-hook fishing lure embedded in her chest and leg (she wasn't small, it was just an awkward angle). So, my dad has to carry her into the canoe, we paddle back to the car, drive another hour or so to the nearest town. By this time it's dark, so we have to call the vet's posted number on the door. My dad didn't have very good wire cutters, plus he just didn't want his hands next to the dog's mouth as he tried to free it of the hooks.

Clearly you're right and they have training in tricking dogs into traps.


Hope the pup was ok...getting wet is one thing squirrels...fish hooks are quite another.


She was a shar-pei, so she had super loose skin. Painful, but not damaging.


Glad to hear she was ok Irontruth.

Squirrels...yes they are insulting us with all the angry chattering...or is it challenging us...

To be fair, my home brew campaign world (someday to be released for all to enjoy) features a revamped kurspa (squirrel like race from old 2nd ed) based on red squirrels, and many are barbarians or rangers...

Guess the fantasy nut didn't fall all that far from the RL red squirrel tree...


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Actual conversation with a cop

Get pulled over. I am going very much under the speed limit because i know it drops in a bit and there's no one around...

Except a cop who sees me swerve to avoid the pothole on the railroad tracks.

The usual, liscense, registration, yadda yadda...

"Where are you coming from?"

"New paltz" (its about 45 minutes away"

"What the heck are you doing in new paltz at 12 midnight?" (to be fair, that is an honest question. There is nothing to do that late in that town)

"Short answer, dungeons and dragons."

"... and the long answer?"

" When the third edition of dungeons and dragons moved into fourth some people weren't happy with the lack of customizati....

"... okay you are very much NOT drunk Have a nice night"

****

Another gamer related one. New people moved into the apartment next to mine when i went back to school

"Do you play dungeons and dragons? You look like someone that plays dungeons and dragons. We were thinking of doing a champions game based on naruto, have you ever heard of that?" hands me a character sheet. I look it over.

"Not sure you want to clone rock Lee, has he ever won a fight?"


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BigNorseWolf wrote:

Actual conversation with a cop

Get pulled over. I am going very much under the speed limit because i know it drops in a bit and there's no one around...

Except a cop who sees me swerve to avoid the pothole on the railroad tracks.

The usual, liscense, registration, yadda yadda...

"Where are you coming from?"

"New paltz" (its about 45 minutes away"

"What the heck are you doing in new paltz at 12 midnight?" (to be fair, that is an honest question. There is nothing to do that late in that town)

"Short answer, dungeons and dragons."

"... and the long answer?"

" When the third edition of dungeons and dragons moved into fourth some people weren't happy with the lack of customizati....

"... okay you are very much NOT drunk Have a nice night"

****

Another gamer related one. New people moved into the apartment next to mine when i went back to school

"Do you play dungeons and dragons? You look like someone that plays dungeons and dragons. We were thinking of doing a champions game based on naruto, have you ever heard of that?" hands me a character sheet. I look it over.

"Not sure you want to clone rock Lee, has he ever won a fight?"

Fun story!

I had a cop pull me over once saw the books in my back seat and started asking me about DnD. cop: you play DnD? me: yelp I'm the DM. I think if he hadn't of had to split I would have recruited him as a player. never did get that ticket.


LOL Vid!


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I'm going to take it back to raccoons briefly.

Back in high school I was at a friend's farm for the weekend, and I was helping him move a bunch of hay bales up in the loft. Pulled one up and was "greeted" by a mother raccoon protecting her cubs.

Until that point I had always been highly skeptical of movies where people jump through 2nd floor windows or off 30 foot cliffs. Chris and I jumped out of that hay loft without hesitation.

Back to your police stories. Last time I got pulled over the cop asked me where I was coming from, yadda, the usual. My wife and I had just got out of seeing Deadpool. "Oh, really? Was it good?" 10-15 minutes of conversation about movies and he let me go on my merry way.


I don't think this post was intended for this thread, was it?


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A few days ago at work we watched a young fox sitting on the back of a decommissioned Warsaw Pact SAM-transporting truck. It let us come quite close (less than 2 meters for me). It looked a bit haggard and certainly was infested with fleas or other parasites, it was constantly scratching itself).

Today, when I was walking near a small piece of hedge-surrounded lawn next to a apartment-building, I heard a strange shrill. I started wondering what kind of bird issues such sound. I looked over the edge and after a moment I saw a small brown ball that I first thought to be a bird chick... Until I noticed those two black leather things are not pieces of trash but its wings. A small bat decided to take a walk in the late afternoon.


And I mean walk - it was slowly crawling across the grass and onto concrete flagstone surrounding the building.

I returned after a few minutes with some water and work gloves just in case but it was gone.


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Bronx zoo, at the Gorllia exhibit. little 4-6 year old girl points up at me and out of nowhere says "guy in glasses could be gorrlia"

She must say things like that a lot. The parents didn't even look at each other. They both snagged her by the wrists and walked off.

Working at the wolf center, one of the girls on the tour sees me, says "You look like Hagrid!" The parents try to shush her. I tell them it's fine, he's my favorite character. And I kind of have his job...


Clearly BNW is one of those druids with high Str, and as a druid of just slightly better than average Str, I am curious what that is like. Also always wondered what it would be like to be able to see the top shelf of cupboards.

;)


I live in a suburb south of Omaha NE. There are usually a hand full of bats flying around in the commons behind our condo building around dusk.
They are small, but hard to see anything in detail on them while they are in flight and because of the low amount of light.
I imagine they are carnivores, as they seem to be going after bugs.
It's amazing to watch them in flight...

I guess I have a few questions for the druid here:
1) is this normal behavior for bats?
2) are they normally ok with being in a city?
3) is there anything i can do to help keep them safe?
4) where would they roost around here?
5) are they in any way dangerous?


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owww, I can answer those!

1. Yes, bats often emerge en' mass to feed from their roosts around dusk, and likely they are one of the many insectivore species (we have a pretty decent number of such species in the ol' US of A)

2. Completely normal bat behavior, pretty much a-typical for most of the bats we have in North America

3. Sure, keep an eye on your cat and make it wear a bell (only sort of works), put up Eco-friendly species appropriate bat houses, avoid the use of pesticides on your lawn are just a few I can think of

4. Bats often roost in the eve's of houses, overhangs, caves, abandoned buidlings, and any other place that is safe, dry, warm enough, and has an easy fly out exit.

5. Generally speaking, no, bats pose little risk to humans, though you should always be aware that bats are one of the species that is a major vector for rabies. Additionally, outbreaks of things like whitenose (a fungus infection WE spread TO bats) is also a concern. But baring disease, I cannot think of any bat species that is really dangerous to us directly. Thus unless you spend your nights polymorphed into a moth, you are safe ;)

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