I love Pathfinder. I love the Roll20 systems in general, 3.5, Star Wars Saga, Call of Cthulu, and probably most any other system that follows similar rules. Since my first game about 14 months ago, I've been spending more of my free time thinking about Pathfinder then anything else. I must have written over 100 little essays on how the game works - things like guides to which armors should be used in what situations, or just my thoughts on what the difference between classes are or opinions on things, not to mention dozens of characters. (none of which are available to read online because I am too shy. x.x) This game is probably the first thing I've ever truly been passionate about.
But it is not a game that can be played alone, and this is where the trouble comes in.
Ever since I was forced to move back to northern Maine, I haven't been able to find a group that I've felt comfortable in. My first group ever was alright, but they were all highly optimized barbarians with no out-of-combat skill ranks and no faces or personalities. I struggled to participate, because each of the others could have taken on the entire module alone, every single week. It was PFS, and they strictly stuck to the recommended level. Very by-the-book, which makes sense, but we - they, I should say - could have been taking on modules 5 levels higher and probably had little fuss.
After that were several groups which came and went in the blink of an eye. One group was so brusque and vitriolic, I didn't even play a game with them before I decided they were too rude for me to put up with. The next group had all the energy and passion of a bank teller helping me sign up for a checking account. After that, it seemed like every group had the same problem: storytelling and RP was extremely high priority, and combat and skill checks were very very rare. It was like an improv radio play with an occasion d20 rolled. And this is how it's been for the last 5 groups. One even told me "Don't worry too much about which feats you pick."
I can only assume my poor luck at finding a group to suit my needs is not entirely luck at all. Are my standards too high? Am I looking in the wrong places? Are my methods not satisfactory? Or is it just that I am being impatient, that a good group is generally difficult to find?
I am desperate for some sort of input or advice. I want so badly to play, but every group I go to, it feels like they are not playing the game I was expecting to. It's as though it isn't even Pathfinder at all.
It sounds just like bad luck man, the right group is out there I'm sure
Have you considered online play?
I play online exclusively, because my disability makes attending groups in person problematic. And while it may not be as personally local, it's a chance to play with people who are in the same boat as you.
I personally use Roll20 but other options are out there too.
There is online games here on the forums. You can do PbP and groups decide how often to post. It's different, but can work.
I personally have played in five different 1st level sessions myself, bit I find a lot of fun in rules practice and theorycraft I don't mind. Seems to have sustained me for a 1000 posts so far.
Edit: Ninja'ed
Oops. I completely neglected to mention a lot of important stuff, didn't I?
Almost every group I've played has been online through Roll20. Only the first one and one of the most recent ones were local. I'm having a lot of trouble making a effective use of Roll20's LFG systems, I think. I have no idea what any game will be like before the first game.
Could you recruit local acquaintances and form a group of your own, with you as GM? Newbie GM with newbie players isn't the best recipe in general, but I suspect you're the kind of fanatic who's already memorized all the important rules and half the unimportant ones. Stick with published adventures until you're comfortable making your own (or just keep on sticking with published ones, nothing wrong with that).
Well, you suspect right. : P
I am working on setting up a group with me as the GM, but I'd also like to be a player on a different day. I have so many character concepts that I really want to play, and granted, some of them could make fine NPCs - like the Wizard I played in my first game ever - but some of them would really make more sense as a true PC. And also, I feel like being a GM will be kind of stressful. u~u
GMing as a relative newbie is a bit of an undertaking, but it's definitely doable - I started GMing after about a year or so after being introduced to TTRPGs, and things seemed to go ok. The advantage of GMing is that you get to set the tone of the group, and it sounds like the tone of the group is what's been your problem. (Make sure to set expectations at the beginning for how you want things to go.) Otherwise, just go in wanting to create a good time for your players, keep your references to hand, don't sweat having to look things up from time to time, and you should be ok.
I did GM a single game of Dungeon World about a month ago.... did I say "a single game?" I mean "a single round." The very first player on the very first turn threw a huge hissy fit then immediately ground the whole game to a halt. A GM with more backbone might have been able to throw him out and get the game back on track, but I'm so soft, I wound up disbanding the entire group. (the one I'm setting up now is a new one with no overlapping members)
I'll be honest, I feel like me being a GM will go about as well as a Bard with 20 INT and 14 CHA. Yes, you'll certainly be able to make some fantastic Knowledge checks, which is certainly a part of what you are, but it's not what you're about, is it?
Which is to say, I feel like I will be able to make some great Knowledge checks, but mediocre Perform checks. I know the rules of the game better then anyone I've ever seen, but will that make me a good GM on its own? I feel like it will not.
(oh the irony, that I use a Bard as my icon. Mostly I picked him because he's kind of a fool, and so am I, simply by virtue of being a newbie.)
...but will that make me a good GM on its own? I feel like it will not.
It won't...but the other ingredient is practice, not some amazing inborn ability to pretend to be other things. Don't worry - it comes with time.
Practicing is something I am very very bad at. I see how poorly I am doing and I find it so difficult to tell myself "It's alright, this is about as good as you should be doing, for how long you've been doing it." I get so frustrated and depressed that I wind up throwing away all of my work and never trying again.
Those of you who've seen me around before may remember all the homebrew class ideas I've pitched on these very forums. I build them up as much as I think I can on my own, then I come by here and see if anyone wants to help me flesh them out a bit, and the criticisms which inevitably follow - constructive criticisms, almost always, but criticisms nonetheless - sting so much that I can't even bear to look at the topic anymore, that I can't even look at the class concepts I've written up, because in my mind, they're failures now.
Anyway, we got a bit off track there, so I'm gonna bump with a little more clarity: does anyone have any ideas on where I might find a group that is right for me in which I can be a player? So far, Roll20 has struck me as unsatisfactory (which is probably just a testament to how bad I am at using it) and I've exhausted all the local groups in the puny town I'm in.
Where do you live? I know plenty of groups in the Knoxville area that would be happy to have you, and I'm sure there are plenty of people on the boards that would accept you in their groups
How about Presque Isle, Maine? Not exactly a jumpin' location for all manner of social get-togethers. Even College Station, Texas only had one Pathfinder group, as big as it was.
What I'm saying is, I'm more or less resigned to playing online, and I'm fine with that. Local is better, but online can be just fine, as long as I can get connected with like-minded people.
One word...
Skype!