Lets start a religious war so a Dragon will light our balls on fire.


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So, my party had just gotten back to the Cathedral of Minderhal with all the items they needed for the ritual to relight the forge, except for the Dragon breath in the fire geodes. Speaking with Etena, the group learned about the Dragon up in the tower and the Inquisitor that lives below it. Deciding that it might be easier to negotiate with the Dragon, the group decided to sneak into a tower. But they didn't want to fight the Inquisitor. And thus was born a wonderful, horrible plan. But first, some backstory.

Backstory: Our Sorcerer(Weaver) attempted to bluff his way past a Hill Giant patrol by claiming to work for Ogreclease, who at the time of this first bluff was supposed to be a powerful local Ogre boss, but overtime, he evolved into a minor God. He then proceeded to crit basically every bluff check to convince the (rather stupid) Ogres and Giants that Ogreclease existed. So by the time they got back, the ground work for the cult of Ogreclease had already been done.

So, our characters decided that, during one of the Minderhal sermons, one character would be invisible and provide a distraction while the rest of the group used Spider Climb to climb up to the Dragon. The Warpriest/Monk(Mariah) decided that they would be the distraction. So the rest of the party sneaks out of the Cathedral and wait for the sermon to start. When Urathash started to speak about Minderhal, the Warpriest used Enthrall to distract the crowd. While the Stone Giants and Urathash weren't fooled, the Ogres and Hill Giants were easily captivated. Mariah then used Stone Shape and Light to simulate a miracle of Ogreclease. Urathash attempted to sway the crowd, but he wasn't very successful. Eventually though, he cast See Invisibility and found Mariah behind the statue. This lead to Urathash calling Mariah out for 1 on 1 combat. Cut to the tower.

Weaver climbs the tower with the rest of the group (a Magus named Markus, A Barbarian named Grunyar, a Hunter named Cyrus with his lion Tala and a rogue named Thykk) reached the top of the tower. Everyone else hides while Weaver bring the Fire Geodes up and attempts to convince the dragon to light them on fire with it's breath. This naturally confuses the dragon, who attempts to find out what's going on. This leads to the line "Quite trying to change the subject and light my balls on fire."

Unfortunately, the Dragon is 1) Not stupid and 2) able to perceive the other members of the group (except Thykk) so he pins Weaver and calls out the rest of the group. They attempt to negotiate with the Dragon, but negotiations break down when they refuse to give him Angrimosh. The battle began when the party attempted to taunt the dragon into breathing on them. He does not fall for this. The Hunters lion then charge/pounced it for over half it's health and, after a few minor hits from others, Thykk Sneak-Attacked the Dragon to death. So they now don't have the fire breath they need.

Cut back to the Cathedral, where Mariah and Urathash spend a few rounds posing and buffing each before Mariah charges and fails to hit with all her flurries. Urathash then proceeds to one shot her with hammer blows. So the session ends with Mariah unconscious and everyone else on the top of the citadel with no way to know this.

Subplot: Two of our characters are Dwarfs and Thykk, who got this from her brother (a previous character), believes that Dwarfs are rare on the surface because they don't breed well and need to be bred by outsiders. So, with help from her brother, she has 75 Elixers of Love that she has been drugging the dwarfs with. Neither of them failed their saves all night, but I got Thykk's player in the end by having Grunyar make his final Elixer of Love will save while looking at her.

Wow...just wow. Sounds like the word of Ogreclease needs to spread through the Mindspin Mountains.

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