REAL Outsiders running for political office


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The weirdness of the 2016 US elections has driven me to think:

What would our politics be like if a real Outsider ran for political office here? I don't mean just somebody who claims to be from outside the Washington DC Beltway and claims to be different from those inside it. I mean Outsider as we think of it: yes, the Outsider creature type, having come to Earth from another plane, possibly by way of Golarion. (In the case of running for US President/Vice President, they would have to be second-generation to qualify, or do a good enough job of faking it that they slip in past the corresponding part of the US Constitution.) What are your thoughts on this? To broaden the scope of the discussion a bit, let Golarion honorary outsiders also qualify -- such as extremely high-level PC-class characters or even Dragons and maybe even a few other very powerful monsters capable of high Intrigue, who could pull off some of the same things (and add some tricks of their own not necessarily available to most Outsiders) . . . such as, for instance, a certain very high-level Mythic Thassilonian Wizard of Pride . . . .


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Ice Bear for President.


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I think there is only one plausible explanation for the current state of our political and financial systems.

They Live


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#LowEnergy lantern archons a bad summon. MANY summoners tell me: TOUCH ATTACKS=WEAK!! Need to gestalt 2 b useful summon. Sad!


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Ice Bear wrote:
Ice Bear for President.

#Clowny Ice Bear would be weak President. Born in Russia? Won't release bearth certificate! Krump was born in USA!


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Fergie wrote:

I think there is only one plausible explanation for the current state of our political and financial systems.

They Live

"Just put on the shades."

"Can we still have that fight scene?"

"...Sure."

But back to the thread, Olheon's the one who's got my vote.


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If you vote for me, I'll actually put up that f$$$ing Wall, and make sure the nation is clean... and... smooth.

Because that's what mother wants, don't anger mother, don't anger mother, don't anger mother...


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Possibly not so different from Vermin Supreme, assuming a Chaotic being could hold human form that long.


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STEVE HOLT!!


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I'd vote for a Ghaele.

Grand Lodge

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I can imagine Azata being against expanding the federal government while Archons would campaign for more regulation. It would certainly make debates more interesting.


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But the sad point is, as much as we'd like it not to be, the race would eventually stand between a devil and a demon. Biggest budgets, and all that.


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I'd vote pretty much any of (off the top of my head): Erastil, Sarenrae, Shelyn, Arshea, Andoletta, Lymnieris, Desna, Abadar, Tanagaar, Kroina, Duellona, Curnunos, Korada, or Apsu. There are likely others, but those come to mind.

Some of the Empyreal Lords are "weak" votes, comparatively, but I'd hands-down vote for them above anyone on the ticket we've got now...

If we're talking more generic outsiders, hands-down an empyrean, followed by a solar. While I prefer lawful good over-all, an empyrean has the best balance, mentally and a solar second-best - a veranallia is more charismatic, but nowhere near as intelligent, and unfortunately there is just no archon that has been published that measures up to the standards of the other celestial and infernal hosts (star archon at CR 19 being closest, and it is undersold, compared to a solar, mentally, in all categories if only by a narrow margin). Second to solar would be a draconal, actually, then planetar, actually, then star archon, then veranallia, and then gate archon.

Now, all that said, I'm mostly following the "REAL Outsiders" concept to the letter and ignoring the actual laws of our land... though it could be argued that all of them were "born" here due to their original conception and development and printing here in the United States, I could see that being a dubious argument if we're presupposing that Golarion actually exists and the laws of the land of the U.S. do as well (which Golarion actually presumes). So!

... what kind of "REAL Outsider" could be born here in the U.S. (at least hypothetically)? Though it would have required immigration of its parents from its native lands, a coualt could, presupposing Earth religious myth-as-inspiration-for-Golarion-reality, have been born here in the actual United States of America. Their lifespan is indicated to easily be long enough that they could pass the minimum required time with no problem. They are extremely intelligent, wise, and charismatic, and have excellent diplomatic and sense motive skills - ideal traits in a leader.

If that doesn't satisfy for some reason (because it looks like a snake, maybe? Not human enough? I dunno) I'll probably have to switch gears. Maybe this "Endranni Malesk" that I know very little about other than a) he's an aasimar (so, technically a "REAL Outsider") who is lawful good (yay!) and CR 14 (solid) with at least some bard (social!) and cavalier (huzzah!) levels. Similarly, possibly an NPC named "Koss" - apparently a CG (yay, good! ... though less, 'cause Chaos, it's still good!) azata-blooded sorcerer (awesome!) with a CR of 10.

Those are the highest CR aasimars I can find on the chart.

The problem, of course, is that those aren't born in the U.S.A. - they were born elsewhere, which disqualifies them from the office of Presidency.

If we were looking for a creature who would hypothetically (if not practically, given our actual real life) be born in the U.S., and disqualify them based on not being "human enough" then I'd probably have to go with something like a half celestial nymph (preferably with the big boosts pumped into mental attributes, though constitution would be good, and much more charisma isn't that necessary; similarly, since we're talking templates, I'd squeeze a couple more in there if I could, and probably rearrange some skills, but all of that isn't, strictly speaking, necessary - only the half-celestial template is to guarantee/reinforce her goodness and to make her a "REAL Outsider" as per the title).

But that's kind of a, "Here's my (sort of) ideal candidate for president, if I could just kind of off-the-top-of-my-head grab from creatures to vote for." kind of thing.

None of that really answers the OP.

How would it be different? It couldn't really be expressed.

The first thing is that said Runelord wouldn't run - he'd conquer. If he deigned to run according to the law instead of merely running roughshod over our puny forces, he would simply have all would-be opponents executed by "non-affiliated entities" that he would publicly denounce and probably lead the hunt for and execute in a very obvious manner (which would, of course, be staged - his loyal servants wouldn't be dead for real, but fake ones would be; Illusion is tricky, you see).

Generally speaking, opening it up to outsiders of second generation (or those who could fake it) generally means you're leaving only the bad guys*. Congratulations: I didn't know it was possible, but you've somehow made this election worse**.

>:I

In the end, whatever has the ability to get triggered suggestions implanted (and the highest charisma check, if multiple creatures do), and highest relative mobility (to place those triggered suggestions into all the voters) will win. The suggestion, of course, is "vote for <chosen candidate>" and the "trigger" is "when you look at the vote booth" - the only trick is getting the people to vote in the first place. The best bet, then, would be to set up loyal suggestion-placers at the voting-places (probably hidden).

Of course that would be deemed blatantly illegal. Trivial for a master of Illusion to act out, however (what with invisibility and simulacrum being on his spell list). Of course, something like a Lawful Good gold dragon who was trying to oppose such a tactic could engage in the same ploy.

* Not, technically, true. Anyone who doesn't respect a local land's laws would, of course, go forth with their plans; generally (though admittedly not always), however, it is malevolent creatures tend to do so in order to gain temporal power...

** Just kidding. That's not possible.


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Sissyl wrote:
But the sad point is, as much as we'd like it not to be, the race would eventually stand between a devil and a demon. Biggest budgets, and all that.

This is a disturbingly plausible hypothesis . . . especially since the Daemons seem to be inclined to contribute to both.

Grand Lodge

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What about the soul of a past president returning as an outsider?


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^Interesting point. Wonder what the Constitutional decision would be about Outsiders identifiably made from the souls of natural-born US citizens? I don't think we're going to get a Supreme Court case on this any time soon (and just as well due to the risk of a 4-4 split), but interesting question nevertheless . . . .

Tacticslion wrote:

{. . .}

The first thing is that said Runelord wouldn't run - he'd conquer. If he deigned to run according to the law instead of merely running roughshod over our puny forces, he would simply have all would-be opponents executed by "non-affiliated entities" that he would publicly denounce and probably lead the hunt for and execute in a very obvious manner (which would, of course, be staged - his loyal servants wouldn't be dead for real, but fake ones would be; Illusion is tricky, you see).
{. . .}

But what better way to win than by running in a way that games the system and people's minds so that the conquest looks perfectly legitimate? Maybe even project an aura of being totally undisciplined, even to the point of sometimes doing self-damaging actions, to make it look like no one that crazy could possibly be disciplined enough to pull off the greatest heist ever . . . .


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I'm voting for the Hodag, born in the U.S.A. :-)


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I'm still convinced Vecna's our best hope...


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Tammy would rather cause despair.


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Vote Ra! Flying Pyramids with death rays to my first thousand disciples! Kittens for everyone else!


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What about dogs? I like dogs...


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It's just been pointed out to me that I forgot Aberrations . . . some of those might take a surprisingly strong interest in politics . . . .


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To be honest, I'm more interested in what happens to the brain during a political campaign.

It's true you know, you can really taste the pain.


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Bill,

Mine is pretty painful right now. But thankful for soothing meditative musics.


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You wana try to tell me that there ISN"T a slaad involved in this election already?


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^I was going to say Glabrezu . . . .


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I'm positive Glabrezu, two Balors and at least one Serpetis Daemon.


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^Do you mean Seraptis Demon? Because Earth in the last ~15 years should really be cranking out a lot of those . . . .


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I require enough of your 'votes' in this 'election ritual' in order to manifest an avatar on your planet and assimilate all life into a horrifying dreamscape of oblivion. #ReadyForCthulhu2016


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Settle for the lesser evil! #cthulhu2016


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Vote for the Great Old Party! #cthulhu2016


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UnArcaneElection wrote:

^Do you mean Seraptis Demon? Because Earth in the last ~15 years should really be cranking out a lot of those . . . .

Yes I meant those. I can't spell. Balor and Glaberzu are bored into my skull.

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