65. It's true that Bodaks reproduce by sharing the memory of what they saw with others, but look at them - grumpy, vulnerable to sunlight... They just have the worst hangover ever. And the memory they share? Obviously the best *party* ever! (Sadly, this also shares the hangover.) But, as any Bodak will tell you: Totally worth it.
66. Clearly, Egregore exist for the sole purpose of bringing people together.
... wait, that's actually accurate.
68. Clearly Kobolds ARE the superior race.
69. Clearly Halflings only take nick naks from each other as a cultural thing. That it makes them better rogues is a happy accident. Kender are a slanderous myth. They never rob graves unless adventuring with a necromancer or something. While technically they are not monsters, some humans treat then as such.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
70. Ghouls just want to have fu-un! Oooh, ghouls just want to have fun!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
71. Evil Osiriiani priests just want their mummies.
72. Mummies just want to be left alone.
73. Old Ones cultists are innocent by reason of insanity.
74. Sandmen just want to cure insomnia.
76. Clearly, White Dragons are so angry because everyone else was mean to them first. It's not fun being bullied.
77. We just wanted to share our poetry and handicrafts with you.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
77. We just wanted to share our poetry and handicrafts with you.
I conqurs. To add furthers,
78. We wishes to demonstrate the powers of sciences (FIRE-CHEMY!) and how it can improve your life (well, make your pain and suppering shorter at least.) Goblins perfect the fire bomb into an art; we bless you by showings you greatest sight of yer life right before you die. 11 out of 10 victims we burn to death agree the sacrificing their lives totally worth it. I, the great and wise P.U. Stabby Toadhed swear you'll never see them complain about us.*
*Oath not valid if the dead is spoken to, reanimated, cloned, or resurrected in anyway
79. Trying to prevent overpopulation
80. Clearly, Great Cthulhu just lacks social skills and confidence. I mean, he was so shy he didn't even show up for the Bestiary 4 Pawn Box!
81 - Clearly Dahak just wanted dad's love and attention... :'(
81 - Clearly Dahak just wanted dad's love and attention... :'(
Oh, quit beating that dead dragon-horse; a draconic paternity test clearly revealed Asmodeus was the father! Dahak
82. is lashing out at Apsu because he was a terrible step-father!
83. All the thieves steal your gold because they know BLACK FRIDAY is nearly upon us! I have many a deal NOBODY can refuse! Don't blame the sinner, blame the SAVINGS!!
83. All the thieves steal your gold because they know BLACK FRIDAY is nearly upon us! I have many a deal NOBODY can refuse! Don't blame the sinner, blame the SAVINGS!!
What CR is this "Black Friday" and why does it want us all dead?
84. Somethings got to do it it might as well be ....
85. Frost elves just want to introduce Christmas which they learned of using contact other plane. Their Oracle suffered the side effects and believes they are Santa, which they kinda are.
86. Tyrannosaurs are really calm philosophic types who enjoy discussion over lots of coffee, and are only tired and angry when they can't get the stuff. If you offer them a gallon sized cup or so of coffee they will sit down and talk peacefully with you for hours.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
87. (Plague Zombie) Your loved one has achieved immortality and wants to share it with you! (Oh, and they may bite just a little now)
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
83. All the thieves steal your gold because they know BLACK FRIDAY is nearly upon us! I have many a deal NOBODY can refuse! Don't blame the sinner, blame the SAVINGS!!What CR is this "Black Friday" and why does it want us all dead?
84. Somethings got to do it it might as well be ....
Nobody wants you dead, friend, except for maybe other shoppers gunning for that same rare once-in-a-lifetime Tickle-Me-Otyugh doll you absolutely have to have for your children.
As a manifestation of the Almighty Dollar, Black Friday is only slightly less unkillable than Cyber-Monay. NOTHING will stop you from collecting on MONSTROUS savings! But do so quickly because,
89. These savings are only available for a LIMITED TIME OFFER.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
90. Here's a serious one: shoggoths. Even Patch misunderstands them. According to the original lore, they were created as a slave race of the Elder Things. Clearly, demonstrating kindness (via telecommunication at at least artillery distance) will convince one to be a lifelong (albeit socially inept and violence prone) friend.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
91. We goblinses fight the ebils of litteracy! Reading stealz yer WORDZ, and you never get them back! Hughmans are the evil ones for teaching how to writes and reads.
92. Soulbound dolls only want to be your friend and buddy, unless you're Jennifer Tilly.
93. The Mi-Go just want to help people get out of their own skin and have some out-of-body experiences.
94.
Daniel-san, you lack discipline! We kytons teach discipline!