Weird ridiculous characters we all secretly want to play


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I have the ongoing and strong desire to play a gunslinger/bard kobold with a religious bent, styled after Johnny Cash the man in black.

"Shot a man in Alkenstar jut to watch him die"


The first time I ever looked at the Monk class, I was in awe at how much ground a monk could cover with that move speed bonus. Naturally, I thought to myself "how can I make a monk go even faster?" What I came up with was a catfolk MoMS/Hungry Ghost Monk who, through a mixture of dragon style, panther style and feats that boosted his run speed, made him into Dr. Hibbert on crack whenever he made AoOs. And since he was the type to run right in front of city guards or dive straight into enemy armies, AoOs would happen all the time.

The exact build was detailed below. Hope you don't mind the jumbled format.

Catfolk Monk, Master of Many Styles, Hungry Ghost Monk, Scent, Catfolk Exemplar (Sprint), Run, Dodge, Lunge, Mobility, Nimble Striker, Wind Stance, Lightning Stance, Boar Style (2), Crane Style (2), Deadhand Style (3), Dragon Style, Panther Style (3), Charger, Slippery, get items (Acrobat Slippers, Longarm Bracers)

His character would be nonchalant, definitely an "Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy", but he's also a drug runner. The drug running job is not only a way for him to make money on the side, but it also allows him to network with bigger bad guys.

Scarab Sages

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A 2nd-Edition Wild/Chaos Mage.

The 3.5 Wild Mage prestige class SUCKED, and Pathfinder's Primalist Wizard isn't quite interesting enough (maybe it's just the Wild Surge table that needs improvement in that latter case, though).

Dark Archive

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The Usual Suspect wrote:
One of my Runelords players is a dwarven druid who's father was a woodworker. She grew up on the mountain instead of in it, learning woodcraft and respect for the forest.

I saw someone play a dwarven beer-brewer, who kept his profession a secret around other dwarves, because, he later explained, dwarven smiths were a dime a dozen, and encouraged to go adventuring, but dwarven brewers were rare and precious, keepers of secret recipes and brewing techniques, and generally not allowed to leave dwarven communities...

A dwarven leatherworker would also be a sensible crafter-dwarf, since every dwarf, in addition to using metal weapons and armor, also wears leather.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

A 2nd-Edition Wild/Chaos Mage.

The 3.5 Wild Mage prestige class SUCKED, and Pathfinder's Primalist Wizard isn't quite interesting enough (maybe it's just the Wild Surge table that needs improvement in that latter case, though).

Look at my homebrew

Go to Savage Mage.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2q9vj?Savage-Mage#1

Or you could just use my Magic Flash tables.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2rygk?Magic-Flash-Tables#1


Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

While this might be cheating as I did get to play the character for a little bit, he didn't last a full campaign. I present Fray Tejón the Gnome luchador/priest of Segojan Earthcaller. Made him for a 4E game as a Gnome Brawler Fighter with the Ordained Priest theme, eventually he would have been able to suplex giants.


I want to play a double character (not just a gestalt, a double with double skills and double feats, even if it means I have to earn double XP) that would be a wizard/psionicist


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I want to play a Siege Gunner/Wyrm Sniper combo Gunslinger. I would take pragmatic activator so I can UMD decently, then grab a scroll of shrink item and permanency ASAP, and keep a wand of unseen servants in a spring loaded sheath. Why?

So, much like a cartoon character, I can pull a giant gun out of hammer space and suddenly blast someone in the face (vital striking like nobody's business of course).

Then I can run around with my dragon pistol while the invisible crew loads up.

I rarely cross gender RP except as GM with NPCs, but I would for this game, because of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged. As Alucard said "Get that b+#!$ a cannon. B$~!#es love cannons!"


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To be fair Greentea, who doesn't love having a cannon?

Though...I would SO want to do what you laid out with a rail gun...if I could manage it!

Liberty's Edge

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Harkevich wrote:

I really, really want to do a wizard in plate armor. Not sensible plate armor either - I should be like a thick tank that shoots fireballs and scoots through the explosion at 2mph

Lawful Neutral paladin who's sole concern is whether or not the law is being followed wherever he is - regardless of his personal beliefs. "I consult with the Druid to see if murder is against the law of the wilds" - "I'm sorry, but Dark Lord Evildoom clearly is in his rights to sacrifice virgins according to the Bylaws of EvilKeep". I'm not enough of an arse to play such a character but I secretly want to.

That's called a hellknight :-p

Scarab Sages

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I've been trying to work up a blind gunslinger. Some mix of Oracle (for the sight curse) Scaled Fist monk, and Mysterious Stranger gunslinger maybe?

Just want to have that moment where he full attacks with his gun then calls out to the rest of the part "Did I hit anything?"


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

A 2nd-Edition Wild/Chaos Mage.

The 3.5 Wild Mage prestige class SUCKED, and Pathfinder's Primalist Wizard isn't quite interesting enough (maybe it's just the Wild Surge table that needs improvement in that latter case, though).

You know, for all the fiddly mechanical problems 2e had, they honestly did have awesome character types.

Wild Mages. Bladesingers. Priests of specific mythoi that were really different. No, nothing was balanced and it regularly fell apart without hefty investment in the GM/player relationship, but there was some really cool character types.

(I wonder if there's some sort of Magus/Bard that could pull off the Bladesinger...)


Well once you start getting into the mindset and playstyles that favor or require mechanical balance, it naturally makes such variety difficult.


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I am still waiting for the oportunity to play Snevel, the ultimate Manservant.

Snevel will be attached to another player's character, preferably someone who plays a noble of some kind (Paladin or Cavalier would be ideal)

Snevel will carry his weapons, offer both platitudes and sarcastic wit and occasionally deliver a well placed shiving when needed. Most importantly Snevel will see to it that his lordship is raised to the status he deserves and becomes a celebrated hero of the people.

Snevel himself is just fine in the shadows where all good manservants belong, taking care of the messy things, things it's best his lordship not know about


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I did that with a halfling once, by the the name of Chauncy, ever vigilant and attentive, things just seemed to get done if Chauncy overhead the need... but of course if asked if he had done anything Chauncy would only ever reply with "I am sure I wouldn't know sir..."

Silver Crusade

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That actually sounds like a fun way to play a bard.

During social situations, you can use any of the three social skills, while pretending to "represent" your lord/lady. I'm thinking halfling with stealth, sleight of hand, and maybe disable device trained for sneaking around getting stuff done in the background, as needed.

During battles, you could be like "Lord Avrar and his mighty companions will surely strike down all these foes" to inspire courage with perform: oratory. And then provide a timely inspiration or gallant inspiration as needed.

Now I'm thinking that after fights, he might even "attend to the wounds of the noble warriors", using sleight of hand to hide that he's using magic cure spells.


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Snevel is going to be more of the cockney accent style manservant. Commonman standing behind the noble hero sort of thing

Even picked out the miniature for him


Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

A transforming hero in the vein of Garo. Easy enough in most superhero systems but I want to pull it off in Pathfinder/D&D.

Link from The Legend of Zelda, this is kind of a cheat because I already have a Pathfinder build for him, but just getting to play it would be fun.

Scarab Sages

HenshinFanatic wrote:
A transforming hero in the vein of Garo. Easy enough in most superhero systems but I want to pull it off in Pathfinder/D&D

Looks like a vigilante with a transformation sequence to me.


Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Eh, I don't see it. Not just for the fact that his identity and the fact that he's a makai knight aren't secrets by any definition except maybe that he doesn't go around bragging about the nightmarish horrors he slays. Also, he dons the armor magically in the span of a few seconds, I don't think there's any vigilante archetype that can pull that off (though I could be wrong).

The spell Instant Armor sort of fits, but it only makes full plate at 12th caster level and it's not even magical or masterwork except for the fact that incorporeal creatures can't bypass it the way they do normal armor.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Fromper wrote:

That actually sounds like a fun way to play a bard.

During social situations, you can use any of the three social skills, while pretending to "represent" your lord/lady. I'm thinking halfling with stealth, sleight of hand, and maybe disable device trained for sneaking around getting stuff done in the background, as needed.

During battles, you could be like "Lord Avrar and his mighty companions will surely strike down all these foes" to inspire courage with perform: oratory. And then provide a timely inspiration or gallant inspiration as needed.

Now I'm thinking that after fights, he might even "attend to the wounds of the noble warriors", using sleight of hand to hide that he's using magic cure spells.

Use the Spellsong feat to hide the fact that you're even casting anything.


HenshinFanatic wrote:
Also, he dons the armor magically in the span of a few seconds, I don't think there's any vigilante archetype that can pull that off (though I could be wrong).

Both the Aegis and the Armorist, especially with the Symbiotic Knight archetype, can do armor summoning at reasonable levels.


Aegis is more fun that one might think...well worth a shot!


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Here's something I've come up with recently: a Paladin who absolutely despises the concept of honor because of the way he saw "honor" used to justify all kinds of horrendous actions when he was growing up.

Don't get me wrong, he still treats others with courtesy, doesn't use poisons, etc. But when people say that he's honorable, he'd reply, "No, I'm acting like a decent person should. There's a difference."

Silver Crusade

Ventnor wrote:

Here's something I've come up with recently: a Paladin who absolutely despises the concept of honor because of the way he saw "honor" used to justify all kinds of horrendous actions when he was growing up.

Don't get me wrong, he still treats others with courtesy, doesn't use poisons, etc. But when people say that he's honorable, he'd reply, "No, I'm acting like a decent person should. There's a difference."

I'm reminded of my lawful good battle oracle who hates all the gods, even the lawful good ones. His oracle curse got him banished from his homeland as a child, and he refuses to worship any gods that would allow his life to be ruined as an innocent child. He has discovered later in life that Iomedae is responsible for cursing him, so now he's trying to reconcile hating her for that against all the good she's supposedly done throughout history, first as a paladin herself, and more recently as the patron goddess of many paladins and other warriors for good.


I want to play a character with the power to transport himself quickly between locations that share the same name. For example, he could move from Main Street in one city to Main Street of another city, but it would be easier if it was the same street number, and even easier if the cities shared names. (It's a power that I often wish *I* had, esp. since I now live in Lexington, KY, and have several old friends in easy reach of Lexington, MA!)

I've been told that this concept would be dead-easy to build as a Correspondence-based Mage in WoD, but I dislike the system and setting too much to try it out.

Scarab Sages

My gaming groups have all pretty much abandoned D&D 3.5 in favor of Pathfinder or 5e. But I still wish I could play a 3.5 warlock. I really wanted to try out those warlock invocations that allow the warlock to detach her body parts and send them off to spy or do things for her. She would be a generally 'good' person, maybe not by alignment but at least by action. She just likes to creep people out with her unusual abilities. And of course she's a goth girl.

I'm playing a warlock now in a 5e game, but the class is not nearly as weird and creepy in that rules set.


Dire Elf wrote:

My gaming groups have all pretty much abandoned D&D 3.5 in favor of Pathfinder or 5e. But I still wish I could play a 3.5 warlock. I really wanted to try out those warlock invocations that allow the warlock to detach her body parts and send them off to spy or do things for her. She would be a generally 'good' person, maybe not by alignment but at least by action. She just likes to creep people out with her unusual abilities. And of course she's a goth girl.

I'm playing a warlock now in a 5e game, but the class is not nearly as weird and creepy in that rules set.

I absolutely love the 3.5 warlock, I've played several, mostly multiclassing with cleric or wizard to go into Eldritch Adept or Eldritch Theurge... I so wish I had an occasion to play a straight warlock.

and I find your assay of the 5e warlock rather peculiar... I play one and his bond is "I want to get my soul back"... he's even been traded from Graz'zt to a devil called Lilith (unless that was an arch succubus), and then, to his great displeasure, to Titania (meaning all his offensive spells were gone in favor of the much less interesting Fey pact spells and powers...he's even ready to lose his powers, but he wants his soul back, and you say that a warlock class based on pacts is not weird and creepy?

Scarab Sages

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Klorox wrote:


I absolutely love the 3.5 warlock, I've played several, mostly multiclassing with cleric or wizard to go into Eldritch Adept or Eldritch Theurge... I so wish I had an occasion to play a straight warlock.

and I find your assay of the 5e warlock rather peculiar... I play one and his bond is "I want to get my soul back"... he's even been traded from Graz'zt to a devil called Lilith (unless that was an arch succubus), and then, to his great displeasure, to Titania (meaning all his offensive spells were gone in favor of the much less interesting Fey pact spells and powers...he's even ready to lose his powers, but he wants his soul back, and you say that a warlock class based on pacts is not weird and creepy?

It's partly due to the homebrew setting we're using. But my warlock's patron is the Great Old One, and the GM has hinted as some Lovecraftian creepiness involved.


Great Old One? which one? Cthulhu? Nyarlathotep? Azathoth itself? Yog Sothoth?

Scarab Sages

Klorox wrote:
Great Old One? which one? Cthulhu? Nyarlathotep? Azathoth itself? Yog Sothoth?

That has yet to be revealed.

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