The Monkey's Treefort


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Silver Crusade

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Patrick Curtin wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

Setting: Poolside, deck of a cruise ship

PATRICK looks thoughtfully into the distance.

A VACATIONER, male, mid-60s in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, decides to strike up a conversation.

VACATIONER: You seem deep in thought.

PATRICK: I am imagining what nearby implement I could kill you with if you turned into a zombie.

VACATIONER (uncomfortable): Zombies, huh? I guess I’d be headed for a lifeboat.

PATRICK: There are 86 lifeboats on this vessel. The nearest one is 113 feet away, on the port side. Assuming 80% of the passengers turned into zombies, the odds are you would encounter 9 zombies on your way to the boat. I don’t like your chances.

VACATIONER: Say, is that my wife calling me? I’m going to go now.

PATRICK: Good Luck.

End scene

Pretty much. I’m certain about 95% of the cruise goers were not in anyway involved in any fantasy save Disney. Zombie survival scenarios were likely not thought of.

There were depressingly few weapons available. I’d have to go with deck chair for a main weapon. Either that or grab a liquor bottle. It’d be a tough call.

That would be a tough call. You might want that liquor later.


I've got the perfect weapon for just such a game. I'll just go around saying Single Reactor Ignition.


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Use a shuffleboard stick to fend off zombies / push other passengers towards the zombies (ones that have already obviously been bitten, of course) as you make your way to safety.


Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Patrick Curtin wrote:
Huh. Never heard of the series. I’ll have to check it out (on Kindke, natch). Thanks for the tip Ed!

Check out Ringo's other stuff, too. I have yet to find anything I totally disliked, though "Ghost" - first book in the "Paladin of Shadows" series - did give me pause. For more on that google OH JOHN RINGO NO! But then consider Barb Everette's comment to an FBI agent in Queen Of Shadows: "You do know he's possessed by a demon, right?"


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I like a lot of Ringo's stuff. I wasn't sure about Ghost at first, but then I read an article where he said he basically wrote it as a way to get bad ideas out of his head so he could concentrate on his other novels, and then went back and reworked it into a somewhat cohesive narrative with a definite antihero.


Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, Starfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

I said it gave me pause. I didn't say I didn't like it. :-)


Celestial Healer wrote:
Patrick Curtin wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

Setting: Poolside, deck of a cruise ship

PATRICK looks thoughtfully into the distance.

A VACATIONER, male, mid-60s in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, decides to strike up a conversation.

VACATIONER: You seem deep in thought.

PATRICK: I am imagining what nearby implement I could kill you with if you turned into a zombie.

VACATIONER (uncomfortable): Zombies, huh? I guess I’d be headed for a lifeboat.

PATRICK: There are 86 lifeboats on this vessel. The nearest one is 113 feet away, on the port side. Assuming 80% of the passengers turned into zombies, the odds are you would encounter 9 zombies on your way to the boat. I don’t like your chances.

VACATIONER: Say, is that my wife calling me? I’m going to go now.

PATRICK: Good Luck.

End scene

Pretty much. I’m certain about 95% of the cruise goers were not in anyway involved in any fantasy save Disney. Zombie survival scenarios were likely not thought of.

There were depressingly few weapons available. I’d have to go with deck chair for a main weapon. Either that or grab a liquor bottle. It’d be a tough call.

That would be a tough call. You might want that liquor later.

Indeed. Although there was no lack of liquor bottles. If I was dragging 4-6 young kids on a cruise I’d need a few stiff drinks too


gran rey de los mono wrote:
I like a lot of Ringo's stuff. I wasn't sure about Ghost at first, but then I read an article where he said he basically wrote it as a way to get bad ideas out of his head so he could concentrate on his other novels, and then went back and reworked it into a somewhat cohesive narrative with a definite antihero.

I have read some of Ringos stuff, Just one series basically, but I liked it. :)


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Patrick Curtin wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Patrick Curtin wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

Setting: Poolside, deck of a cruise ship

PATRICK looks thoughtfully into the distance.

A VACATIONER, male, mid-60s in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, decides to strike up a conversation.

VACATIONER: You seem deep in thought.

PATRICK: I am imagining what nearby implement I could kill you with if you turned into a zombie.

VACATIONER (uncomfortable): Zombies, huh? I guess I’d be headed for a lifeboat.

PATRICK: There are 86 lifeboats on this vessel. The nearest one is 113 feet away, on the port side. Assuming 80% of the passengers turned into zombies, the odds are you would encounter 9 zombies on your way to the boat. I don’t like your chances.

VACATIONER: Say, is that my wife calling me? I’m going to go now.

PATRICK: Good Luck.

End scene

Pretty much. I’m certain about 95% of the cruise goers were not in anyway involved in any fantasy save Disney. Zombie survival scenarios were likely not thought of.

There were depressingly few weapons available. I’d have to go with deck chair for a main weapon. Either that or grab a liquor bottle. It’d be a tough call.

That would be a tough call. You might want that liquor later.
Indeed. Although there was no lack of liquor bottles. If I was dragging 4-6 young kids on a cruise I’d need a few stiff drinks too

Indeed! ;P

Best case in that zombie scenario,
1-Grab the nearest liquor bottle(s), head for safety.
2-Drink Alcohol when situation seems most desperate.
3-Use now-empty bottles as weapons, utilizing your now-suberb drunken-master fighting skills. :)

RPG Superstar 2012

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Also, use the liquor to wash out zombie bites, so you won't get infected. That works, right?


I have an amusing anecdote about using whiskey as a disinfectant, but I can't post it publicly... LOL


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taig wrote:
Also, use the liquor to wash out zombie bites, so you won't get infected. That works, right?

... sure ...


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How did it not occur to me when we were discussing zombie pirates that I have a zombie pirate alias from way back in the day?

RPG Superstar 2012

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I forgot that as a badger, I'm immune to zombieism.


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Brains!... Guenhwyvar!!... Cattie-Brie!!


Zombie Pirate wrote:
How did it not occur to me when we were discussing zombie pirates that I have a zombie pirate alias from way back in the day?

Who can keep track of them all?

Also: BRAAAINS!!!!


The best part about a mid-week vacation is your brain thinks it’s a Tuesday when in fact it is a Thursday

The worst part is that there is a whole lot of catch up to be done


To reconnect with a dear friend that you never thought you'd never hear from again is priceless.


Hi, Cal!


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Also priceless; Helping mom make Welsh griddle cakes aka Picha Bauch even if you only have them once a year...at Christmas. But now you can have them BEFORE Christmas because the Mine Wars Museum wants authentic cuisine that miners (such as Welsh people) would have.


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Hey, John! Hey, Thomas!


Patrick Curtin wrote:

The best part about a mid-week vacation is your brain thinks it’s a Tuesday when in fact it is a Thursday

The worst part is that there is a whole lot of catch up to be done

Woot!

And Bleah,

Respectively,... ;)

Sigh, Right now I'm SO far behind on my paperwork at work, and they keep giving me other things to do, I have not gotten out the contracts for October yet.

At this rate, I'll get them out JUST in time,...

,... For Christmas,... ;P


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We'll just cancel October this year, m'kay?


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

We can't cancel October, I actually have a Halloween costume this year! I'm wearing my Toys R us shirt and nametag and having my daughter give me zombie makeup.


captain yesterday wrote:
We can't cancel October, I actually have a Halloween costume this year! I'm wearing my Toys R us shirt and nametag and having my daughter give me zombie makeup.

That's brilliant.


We can't cancel October! Where would my birthday go?


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I said something funny last night that gave my mother a laugh. Earwax is snot for the ears.


DungeonmasterCal wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
We can't cancel October, I actually have a Halloween costume this year! I'm wearing my Toys R us shirt and nametag and having my daughter give me zombie makeup.
That's brilliant.

+1, That was my exact thought when I read this. :)


John Napier 698 wrote:
I said something funny last night that gave my mother a laugh. Earwax is snot for the ears.

Also funny! :)

Annnnnd,... true? ;P


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Ragadolf wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
I said something funny last night that gave my mother a laugh. Earwax is snot for the ears.

Also funny! :)

Annnnnd,... true? ;P

I disagree. That is snot a good joke! j/k


I found a clip on Youtube that people might enjoy. Prelude to Axanar. I'll just leave it here.


John Napier 698 wrote:
I found a clip on Youtube that people might enjoy. Prelude to Axanar. I'll just leave it here.

"Prelude to Axanar" really got me excited when I first saw it a couple of years ago. It looks absolutely amazing. But since then CBS has all but shut down production on it, suing the production company for copyright infringement among other things. The settlement has caused the project to be dropped to two 20 minute segments rather than the feature length production.


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I know. it bummed me out, too. But us fans will have to settle with what we get, right?

Also, Hi Cal!


Hi, John!

You're right, we take what we can get. I'm so glad for the 11 episodes of "Star Trek Continues" with Vic Mignola producing and starring as Kirk. Many of those episodes are absolutely faithful to the original series' types of styles, stories and issues. So good.


Phew. Long week! I’m very glad it is over


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Bojack Horseman Season Five dropped. Time to binge!


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So my day:

Started off like any other; dog woke up, wanted out, took him out; Mom went to take care of flowers for the altar at our church; I went back to bed, woke up, checked on the cat and two dogs (not in the same house or the same clients), came back and got ready to take my car back.

Turns out the guy that was supposed to pick up the Welsh cakes Mom made yesterday was running late. Not a huge deal, but it meant that she might have to stay until he got there while I went to drop off my car at the Goodyear place for a tire replacement and alignment.

So first, the guy does show up before I leave, but parks across our drive way. Fortunately I don't have to back up into him to get him move. Yay me and restrain! :p ;)

I drive out there, figuring that "yeah I'll have to pay for a new tire but the alignment is free". The sale guy there (who it turned out was the store manager) told me "Look um I think you should know you need FOUR new tires." And I'm like (in my mind) are you s!#~ting me?!! He soft pedals it, saying that the differential on Subarus (especially ones with All Wheel drive) needs to be carefully calibrated otherwise you're going to run all the tires and such. I tell him "Fine but I just want the same kind as I have now." He's like "So we could do that...but I think you'd like these NEW tires more." So I tell him "I'll think about it. I'm not going anywhere until my ride arrives. Just go ahead and do the alignment." He shrugs and seems like "whatever."

So I wait. Mom shows up, we talk outside for a bit, before she comes in and has HIM explain it to her...and it was TOTALLY different from what he tried to tell me (IE his explanation was way more detailed...) But we said "Okay" and so now I got four new tires...for a car that had new tires that were barely over 5,000 miles. Yeah...

So then we come back home (while this is being done.) I had already promised my 80+ year old neighbor from 5 houses up from me that I'd take care of her dog. Now I should explain this woman has had her wrists broken AND has some mental capacity issues. (Like the day before she didn't seem to realize I knew how to walk a dog... and then before that, (like almost 2 months ago) she forgot that I had already agreed to care for her dog when she needed me because the dog had had surgery before to help with a joint problem)

So now I go there, (I have a key) and I find out, much to my chagrin, she forgot that I was coming over and had turned on the alarm. Now normally if someone does this, I know in advance AND I have the code. I had neither. So I did what I could, the alarm goes off, I call my mom, she called our OTHER neighbor who might know the code or at least have access to the alarm company. I walk the dog, come back, but before I get to the house, Mom tells me (via phone) that the alarm had been turned off...but some one didn't tell the alarm because it came BACK on and went back off...

So yeah, our neighbor came back, on the phone with the service guy, and they managed to figure it out.

So right now...I'm just ready to kill giants.


Yay!

Welcome back Patrick!

I understand that your financial situation stabilized enough?


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Patrick Curtin wrote:
Bojack Horseman Season Five dropped. Time to binge!

Have you seen episode 6, "Free Churo"? Holy sh!t.


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Thomas Seitz wrote:

...while I went to drop off my car at the Goodyear place for a tire replacement and alignment.

So first, the guy does show up before I leave, but parks across our drive way. Fortunately I don't have to back up into him to get him move. Yay me and restrain! :p ;)

I drive out there, figuring that "yeah I'll have to pay for a new tire but the alignment is free". The sale guy there (who it turned out was the store manager) told me "Look um I think you should know you need FOUR new tires." And I'm like (in my mind) are you s!&~ting me?!! He soft pedals it, saying that the differential on Subarus (especially ones with All Wheel drive) needs to be carefully calibrated otherwise you're going to run all the tires and such. I tell him "Fine but I just want the same kind as I have now." He's like "So we could do that...but I think you'd like these NEW tires more." So I tell him "I'll think about it. I'm not going anywhere until my ride arrives. Just go ahead and do the alignment." He shrugs and seems like "whatever."

So I wait. Mom shows up, we talk outside for a bit, before she comes in and has HIM explain it to her...and it was TOTALLY different from what he tried to tell me (IE his explanation was way more detailed...) But we said "Okay" and so now I got four new tires...for a car that had new tires that were barely over 5,000 miles. Yeah...

If the existing tires have enough wear on them, it's usually better long term for your AWD drivetrain to replace all four tires at the same time.

I used to drive a right-hand drive Subaru Legacy AWD on a rural mail route. That right front tire unerringly found every damn sharp stone, roofing nail, and jagged chunk of whatever on the route.


Bluebell Golden Nostrils wrote:
Patrick Curtin wrote:
Bojack Horseman Season Five dropped. Time to binge!
Have you seen episode 6, "Free Churo"? Holy sh!t.

Yeah. What a stream of consciousness monologue on pain and regrets.

I have to say the duality of Mr Peanutbutter/Bojack is coming along nicely. Nihilistic narcissist and positivity clueless happyclod is amazing. Both consider themselves ‘good’ guys, and neither really is, for completely different reasons.


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Drejk wrote:

Yay!

Welcome back Patrick!

I understand that your financial situation stabilized enough?

.

Yes! And per my promise a year ago I have reactivated my various Patreons. It’s amazing how wonderful having a career rather than a job can be.


Saturday morning! Time to explore the marvelous day!

First some cardio


Then, prep for my meatspace 5e game tonight

Maybe a walk in the woods? I’m uncertain

Or a trip into DC to peruse a museum

I need to celebrate Mabon today.


Midpoint of harvest season. Perhaps an Apple crumble?


And back after a nice walk. Time to sing for my supper as the long-suffering halfling bard/party face/amateur lawyer Talandar in my 5e game. May your dice ever be at advantage!


Thank you for that link, Slaad of divine nectar.


Well there went $800 to $1000 that I didn't have. I had to take one of my dogs to the emergency vet tonight. No real idea what is wrong with him. We will see what the vet says. Living paycheck to paycheck with no savings sucks.


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Sorry to hear that Sharoth. Here’s hoping your fur baby improves


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Sunday Sunday.

Portentous changes in the air

The Great Wheel turns towards sleep and death, but it is only for a short while before it turns again to renewal and rebirth. Thus the cycles spin on into eternity

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