Biblical Short Module


Homebrew and House Rules


Okey Dokes... My family is coming for a late christmas, and knowing that I play pathfinder have requested to play a fun short christmas themed scenario. We grew up christian, but are now all either agnostic or athiests. I was thinking about creating a spoof module based on the birth of jesus story mixed with some classic christmas claymation tropes, where, instead of joseph and mary run away, they actually attack king herod.

There will be six people playing, and I would be creating the pc's for them. Mary(cleric), Joseph(fighter), shepherd(cavalier), wise man(wizard/sorcerer), drummer boy(bard), and baby jesus and angel(summoner and eidolon). I am wanting them to be around level 5 as I find I have the most fun around there.

I am currently having problems mixing in some classic christmas movies like rudolph or frosty, do you guys have any ideas? also do the characters and their classes line up? I would love to hear if you have any other additions that you think would be fun.


A word of caution, while you and your prospective players may all be on the atheist/ agnostic end of the spectrum, many of the forumites here might not be. Consider whether you care about the folks you just alienated and offended by discussing a game where you spoof their sacred traditions.

Just my 2cp.


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I'm putting $5 on this devolving into another flame war within a week. I am so sorry.


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Yes!

Just in time for the holidays!

Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all!


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Salt! Salt fer sale! Salt flavored by religious statements and spoofing! Also works great against snowmen!


Oh! I'll take fifty pounds, in large chunks.

You know what, do you have a salt grinder too, I get the feeling we're going to be having a bonfire at some point.


Oracle instead of cleric.

Might be easier to do three wise men, one drummer boy, and two shepherds.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Someone has to be Weird Al dressed up, it's not a proper spoof unless someone is playing Weird Al dressed up.


*bites tongue*:

Spoofing the Bible is dangerous stuff. If you spoofed other texts... No. This is the internet. I shouldn't get into that...
*bites tongue*

All characters in the Christmas story are NPC classes. Mary is a commoner along with the shepherds. Joseph and the Magi are upper level experts (magi being the highest level), Herod is an aristocrat.

I apologise. It's late. I'm tired. And I can't bring myself to delete the above.


O i really didnt think that just spoofing something would offend, but i can take a hint. I will search for help else where...

Scarab Sages

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Ignore them - fantasy games inevitably meddle in the affairs of somebody's religious traditions, and if the non-Abrahamic faithful who make up the overwhelming majority of the world's sacred traditions can have a sense of humor about it all, so can the Abrahamists.

Get Green Ronin's Testament: Roleplaying In The Biblical Era!


I think it would be more fun to play solely in the Claymation world and leave out any kind of religious spoof. Someone could play Rudolph (awakened reindeer, not sure of what class) teaming up with Hermie (elven Internal Alchemist focused on dentistry), Yukon Cornelius (human beast master ranger), and the snowman ("snowforged" bard). Santa could play a Gandalf-like role and set the characters on the quest to rescue Rudolph's parents and Clarice from the Bumble. You could use the cold rules from the D&D supplement Frostburn. Maybe they have to return to King Moonracer on the Isle of Misfit toys for some kind of mystical toy device that could help them get through a blizzard to find the lair of the Bumble, which could involve having to face-off against several rogue toys (animated objects or other constructs) that have stolen it.

Scarab Sages

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While you're at it, why not throw in some singing awakened vegetables with water buffalo companions?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

But where are their arms!

I can't trust a preachy f+!@ing Zucchini if it's not gonna have the balls to grow arms to go with those hands.


If If you have time before the session, read "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore. You might find some inspiration. If you don't have time, you should still read it when you do have time.

Oh! And off of that subject, you could include things like burning bush fire elementals, Roman centurion Paladins, gentile lycanthropes, tax collector role-playing encounters, Pharisee assassins, lion pits, and fallen angels. The mythology is significantly extensive compared to, say, the Norse mythology.


Maybe the Wise Men need escorting across the desert to deliver their goods.

Scarab Sages

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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
Maybe the Wise Men need escorting across the desert to deliver their goods.

What, and then they compulsively charge off to pick easily-avoidable fights with every monster and no-goodnik they see on the horizon?

Scarab Sages

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House rule for Christmas games: No Gunslingers. You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

Scarab Sages

Maybe the PCs have to figure out what's going on and help set things right after Santa's been abducted and replaced by a Chaotic Good Lich?

Scarab Sages

Maybe the PCs wind up wishing themselves out of existence, and then an Aeon travels with them through the Ethereal Plane to show them what the world would be like without their heroics.

Scarab Sages

An Evil party is visited first by the revenant of a dead former member, and then by three Empyreal Lords, and are given a chance to redeem themselves.


Ciaran Barnes wrote:
If If you have time before the session, read "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore. You might find some inspiration. If you don't have time, you should still read it when you do have time.

I second this suggestion. Lamb is my favorite book.

As for the 3 wise men. They are magi obsessed with destiny and astrology. Give them all starknives.

You should also factor in that Herod sent a pack of soldier thugs to slaughter all the kids in Bethlehem. Perhaps instead of running, Mary and Joseph & co could make a defensive stand to kick off the adventure before retaliating against Herod.

Also, I would make Mary an Oracle, since she's had no formal training in a church/temple.

Scarab Sages

The party is invited to the Emperor's castle for High Midwinter, but gets in a massive confrontation at the end of the evening. The Emperor and his entire court are giving them nothing but sour looks as they are showed to their chambers for the night...

...and when the party awakes next morning, everyone else is gone. The party has the entire Emperor's castle to themselves!!!

But what do they do when the relentless and heavily-armed assassin's guild tries to take over?

Scarab Sages

Your party's temple has allowed itself to be overrun by cultists of Mammon. You know what you must do.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

They have to go and negotiate with the elemental lords of heat and cold, and their army of homunculi.

Scarab Sages

Santa's been abducted by the Akitonians. WAAAACKY hijinks ensue, HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!


Arcanemuses wrote:
Ciaran Barnes wrote:
If If you have time before the session, read "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore. You might find some inspiration. If you don't have time, you should still read it when you do have time.
I second this suggestion. Lamb is my favorite book.

It's been some years, but I read it several times. The pre- sermon on the mount discussion had me in tears.

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