1001 Important House Rules


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Scarab Sages

240. Levitate potions are slightly sweet and highly carbonated. You descend by burping.


241. Burning hands potions taste like cheating.


242. Anyone who posts the taste of potions immediately loses their sense of taste.

Scarab Sages

243. Moose meat tastes like a wet blanket.

Scarab Sages

244. Blood armor potions taste like raisins. 'Cause they put iron in your blood!

Scarab Sages

245. Darkvision potions taste like carrots.

Scarab Sages

246. Tongues potions taste like black tea. The universal beverage!

Scarab Sages

247. Aura sight potions taste nondescript, but smell strongly of patchouli.

Scarab Sages

248. Rage potions taste like 4Loco.

Scarab Sages

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249. Displacement potions taste like...uh...something. You're sure you've tasted it before, but you can't quite place it....


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250. No, you can't pause the game to check the house rules during the session. COMMIT EVERY SINGLE ONE TO MEMORY OR GO. HOME.

Silver Crusade

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251. All party members with the same haircut shall get the same teamwork feat for free.


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lucky7 wrote:
251. All party members with the same haircut shall get the same teamwork feat for free.

251b.) If your party has four members in it, and they all possess bowl cuts, the feat granted will be Compelling Harmonies.

252.) Wearing a Giant Furry Hat grants you +25 to your leadership score.

253.) Don't worry. Be happy.


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254.) If you lose an arm, a leg, and an eye, and acquire appropriate replacements, you gain a free level of swashbuckler and a parrot for a familiar, and the ability to at will do bardic performance as a 20th level bard but can only sing the pirate song.


255.) When in doubt, ask your mother. She'll know the answer.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

257. here in my gar͙̟̗̳̲͠a͓̻̬̝ą̭͉̤aA͏̳̞̦ͅA̦̰͚̼͎͎̼A̴a̮͚̝̯͖͙a͡a̟̞̳̯̳̯̰a͙͕̙͚g͕̤̘͔e͓̖ͅ just bought this uh..new lamborghini here fun to drive up here in the hollywood hills but you know what i like a lot more thanKNOWLEDGE! this uh..new lamborghini here but you know what i like more than my new lamborghini here my tedex talk where i talk about this ᶰᵉʷ ᶫᵃᵐᵇᵒʳᵍʰᶦᶰᶦ ʰᵉʳᵉ the ǝɥʇ the ǝɥʇ t̪͖̻͉h͈̳̖̪̥̬h̤̙̮̮̮͍̠h̺͈h̭̜̺h̦͙̹͙͉̘̲hh͇̺̖̣̪̦͙h͓̩͔͈͎̭͡h͈̜h̹̮̰̩̘͓̺͜ḩ̼̞͇̼h̻̬̦̺ ̫͇ḫ͙̣̟̪ in fact i’m a lot more proud of the 7 new hollywood hills that i had to get installed to hold 200 new lamborghinis (silence while mouth moves) THE it’s like the buffet warren billionare says: the more you earn the more you DRIVE UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS in fact. the real reason why i keep this lamborghini here..is the real reason i keep thisLAMBORGHNI here is that it’s a reminder, a reminder that drears still possible because it wasn’t that long ago that i was in a little lamborghini, sleepin, on bookshelves in the hollywood hills with only FOURTY Seven billion dollars in my bank account and only FOURTY Seven lamborghinis in my lamborghini account and only FOURTY Seven hills in my hollywood account and only FOURTY Seven tedex talk where i talk about warren buffet in my TEDEXTALK WHERE I TALK ABOUT warren buffet account. but you know what? something happened that changed my life. i bumped into a LAMBORGHINI and another LAMBORGHINI and a few more LAMBORGHINIS. i found 5 lamborghinis. i don’t call it money anymore i call it FUEL UNITS. you must have enough fuel units! you must have enough lamborghinis. you must Ć͓̣̟̥Ọ̠̬͕̠̺ͅN̝͢S͓̟̤͇͔͚̙T̬͉̝̙̘̟R̫̻U̬̱C҉̲̥̬̪̜T̖͇̗͟ͅ ̖͙̥͎A̺͓̮̥̼̜̘͢DD̸̜̦͙͉I̙̺͈̰T͎̫̺͙͖͖͉̕Ì̖O͎̞N͙͕̺͜A͉L̢̤͙ ̖̫Ṕ͚̼̭̫Y̛̭̳̭̖̲̗Ḷ̳͞O̴͍̳̖̟̭̖N̸̼͕̞͔̗̟̯S̼̪͍̲̪̥͘. i’ll see you on my website, it’s a quick video and uh..you’ll see there absolutely nOTHING


258.
Gaming related fonts should be printed out on cardstock and brought to the table, not posted on a forum like above. Are they even SPARKS?

Scarab Sages

259. We don't talk about what happened to #256. It was bad...but it was necessary.


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260. Sometimes you have to leave a number empty to keep the disease from spreading.


262.) Some numbers are just pure evil to start with.

Silver Crusade

261. The number 261 exists outside of our normal concept of time and space.

Silver Crusade

261. Except when it doesn't.


139.) The number '139' is a powerful occult symbol signifying both the repetition of patterns and the violation of them.

263.) A knowledge of numbers is a burden. Forget them immediately.

264.) Why not Zoidberg?

Silver Crusade

265. Just because it's not "The Dwarven Door Game" doesn't mean you shouldn't play like it is.


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266. Not Zoidberg.

Shadow Lodge

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Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

267. Don't put too many points into handle animal or you'll end up like GoatToucher

Scarab Sages

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268. Don't put too many points into Survival or you'll end up like Bleached Otyugh.


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269. Don't put too many points into stealth or you'll end up like IHIYC.


270.Saying a completely blind character is 1/2 an oracle with blurred vision is completely offensive.


271. When at school, PCs will beaten regularly every thirty minutes. However, it will not do them any harm - except for psychological maladjustment and blurred vision.


272. If a character wants revenge on some thing(such as a public school or Keoland) they get a bonus to lure the big bad there and fight it, all out!


273.Mirror image is now called pillar of smears. In a 5 by 5 square you cannot pick out individual images at all. Any attempt to attack is firing blindly into what looks like melting crayons. Number of images is irrelevant.


274.) History repeats itself.

275.) History repeats itself.

276.) History repeats itself.

277.) History repeats itself.

Dark Archive

278. Nonetheless, it progresses...

297. ...sometimes in giant leaps.


279.) ...slowly.

280.) The "Chaotic Blue" alignment can only be possessed by sufficiently depressed bards.


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281. "Lawful Gouda" is not an alignment.

282. "Cheeseomancer" is not a variant class.
282(a). Nor are "Paladinner"
282(b). "Free Ranger"
282(c). "Breadbarian (or Barbecuebarian)"
282(d). and "Sauceror"

283. Food puns in general are discouraged.

Silver Crusade

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284. You get a +1 to all ability scores for each instance of the letter "Q" on your character sheet.


285.Apples per level is a food pun.
286. So is the cheese school of magic.

Shadow Lodge

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Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

286b. The cheese school of magic is described in detail below because I had an extra 20 minutes to burn

Opposed Schools/Spells: A cheese specialist treats all spells with the poison descriptor as spells from opposed schools for all purposes save for the creation of Infused Stinky Cheese (see below)

Stinky Cheese Resistance: You gain the scent ability and treat saves against stench and other similar effects as +10 higher. At 11th level this bonus increases to +15 and gain immunity to such effects at 20th level.

Infused Stinky Cheese (SU): As a standard action, you can treat all spells with the poison descriptor of a level you can cast as being in your spellbook and not being from an opposed school. You must produce a piece of bad-smelling cheese worth at least 5GP X the level spell to cast this spell, but add half your level to the DC to resist the spell. You can choose to make the cheese emit a stench, allowing it to treat the spell as if it´s range were 30ft. longer and affect all creatures within the range of the cheese (excluding you and an amount of creatures equal to your intelligence modifier+3) You can use this ability a number of times per day equal to 3+your intelligence modifier

Cheese Mastery (SU) At 10th level, Whenever you are holding a piece of stinky cheese, you treat your intelligence, constitution and caster level as 4 higher.


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287. All Chrysallids are to be shot in sight.


287Bylaw. Anyone stupid enough to shoot a Chrysallid with a wand, gets hit instead when their attack reflects. This applies to magic missile because they targeted their reflection. :p


288.) "It's good to be the King," is a valid verbal component for any Enchantment Spell of the Charm or Compulsion subschool.


289 Your GM is an acceptable choice for a deity. He/She gives the domains of Law, Favouritism and Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies.

Dark Archive

290. Baklava is not worth going over to the Dark Side.


Rule of Acquisition #291, Latinum does not grow on trees.

Rule of Acquisition #292, Latinum does grow on certain trees, in the form of rare seasonal fruit.

-------

Edit - wrong thread, sorry about that.


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293.) This is ALWAYS the right thread.


294.) Everything has a monetary value. A Latinum coin is worth 10 ordinary platinum. :)


295.) Blackula is worth going over to the dark side

296.) Bakula is worth going over to the dark side.


298.) Always follow the correct numerical order of things. Like a list of strange house rules.

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