1001 Important House Rules


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137.) Anyone who attempts to make others perceive their jokes as funny by adding a laugh track will be forced to listen to said laugh track for 24 hours straight.

138.) If a Bardic Performance involves the Perform (Interpretive Dance) skill, any of the Bard's allies must succeed on a Sense Motive check opposed by the Perform Skill to receive any bonuses. On a failure, they are confused for 1d4 rounds.

Scarab Sages

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139. New Bardic Masterpiece available as an option for PCs, costing a 6th-level spell slot or an equivalent level feat: "The Safety Dance". It allows you to go where you want to, a place where they will never find, and you can dance like you come from out of this world, leave the real world far behind.


139. Any spell that can be shown to be represented by a song, especially a video, can be added to the bard's spell lists.

This Allows confuse..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KThlYHfIVa8

Scarab Sages

139. The number '139' is a powerful occult symbol signifying both the repetition of patterns and the violation of them.


139.) The number '139' is a powerful occult symbol signifying both the repetition of patterns and the violation of them.

140.) Any bard who attempts to use Nickleback Songs for their bardic performance shall be erased from every timeline that ever is and will be.

Scarab Sages

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141. Any Summoner who does a convincing and faithful job modeling their eidolon after one of the entities from the Ars Goetia gets a free +1 increase to all of their eidolon's ability scores.

142. Any Investigator whose player can demonstrate skill with the violin gets a free +2 to Intelligence and Wisdom.

143. No smoking, of anything, or anybody, or anybody's anything!


lucky7 wrote:
131. Any character named "Fredegar" shall be generated using a 30 point buy.

131b.: Female characters named "Fredwina" will receive similar benefits.

144: Pork.


144b.) It's what's for dinner.

145.) If you use finger guns as the somatic component for any ray spell, you receive a +2 bonus to any attack rolls made by the spell.

146.) Sharing is caring.


I refuse to eat any food which is RAW. COOKED only!


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Sarcasm Dragon wrote:
I refuse to eat any food which is RAW. COOKED only!

How about some RAI bread?


147.) Anyone who burns down, chops up, or otherwise kills a bar gets 20 xp for helping to remove the evil menace of overpriced beer.


148.) A triple backflip performed in the middle of combat is worth double points.

149.) Blue is now red. Red is now Green. And Green is now Plaid.

150.) Under no circumstances is anyone required to enforce rule #151.

Silver Crusade

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151.) All must accept that the GM always knows best. Now shut up and roll your dice!

151a.) Your players are always wrong. You know best!


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152.) Anyone who sacrifices their character sheet to an elder god gets kicked out of the campaign for not having a character.

153.) Any character who takes the feat Inverse Ninja gets a multiplier on all of their numerical stats equal to the number of opponents, and takes a divided by penalty equal to their number of allies.


134.) The GM is the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball.


135.) God is welcome to play Pathfinder, but he can only play as himself if he's the GM.

Scarab Sages

139. The number '139' is a powerful occult symbol signifying both the repetition of patterns and the violation of them.

154. NO DRUGS ALLOWED. If anyone has any drugs, they are to give them immediately to the DM, who will ensure they are properly disposed of after the game.


140. Paladins will find themselves suddenly occupied in the next room when the time comes to slit throats at the end of a battle.


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136. Any character sacrificed in a ritual has sacrificed written across their character sheet or paragraph(if part of a module), in red ink, and is out of the game. A new character of equivalent level is required.


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155.) DO NOT INTERFERE WITH THE ORDER OF THE NUMBERS. THE NUMBERS ARE SACROSANCT.

156.) You can take the monk vow "Must always rhyme,"
But only if done OOC all the time.

Scarab Sages

157. In order to play a Hobgoblin, you must always goose-step when moving around the gaming area.


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Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

158. It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

159. In order to play a half-orc your backstory must include two happily married, loving parents who are alive and well.

139. The number '139' is a powerful occult symbol signifying both the repetition of patterns and the violation of them.

Scarab Sages

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160. Prune juice gives characters who consume it a +1 alchemical bonus to Strength and Constitution for 1d6 hours thereafter, for it is a warrior's drink!


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161. Plum juice, meanwhile, gives a a +1d6 alchemical bonus to Strength and Constitution for 1 hour, because it is the drink of a warrior.


162.) Drinking your own piss gives you a +2d12 alchemical bonus to strength and constitution for 1 day, but only if you are cut off from civilization.

162b.) Or at least, appear cut off from civilization.

163.) Any Shaman from Andoran must have a crying eagle as their spirit animal.


I'm very sorry. It looked like numbers had been skipped.

500 If tricked into reusing a number, you are required to apologize, post the next item on the list ridiculously far ahead, then later post a corrected list when it's ready.


164. All androids must follow the laws of robotics.

164.b)Any androids caught not following the laws of robotics will have their character licence revoked.

165.) Anyone who has their character licence revoked for any reason needs to do the chicken dance for 5.681 hours exactly without stoping, and if you screw it up you have to start again.


165b.) Those who perform the chicken dance for 5.682 hours risk undoing the very fabric of existence. So please don't do that.

166.) Any character name that is longer than 5 syllables will be sent to the guillotine to cut it down to a more manageable length.

167.) Bird is not the word. Anyone who tries to spread this lie will be exiled via catapult.

Scarab Sages

168. Pursuant to Rule #167, Aarakocra may not take levels in the Truenamer class (because after all, beaks).


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169. "Why does it burn when I pee?" is not an appropriate question to ask when communing with a deity.


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164c) All androids in the party are given one copy of Asimov's Laws of Robotics. To share.
164d) Android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance against the Game Master.
170) Goblin PCs who fail to do the squeaky voice ten times in a row turn into hobgoblins.


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171.) You may only use words that have equal or less letters than your INT score.


172.) Thread Necromancy is a 9th-level Conjuration Spell.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

173. Thread Conjuration is a 9th level Necromancy spell.


174. If the dance-off for initiative ends in a tie, it must be resolved by a game of Russian Roulette


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175. In game drinking games must be settled out of game.


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176.) Duels, to the death or otherwise, only count if the weapon of choice was collectible card games.

177.) Any witch (male or female) with a really ugly wart on their nose gains a +1 to their caster level. This bonus disappears whenever the wart is not visible.


Ventnor wrote:

176.) Duels, to the death or otherwise, only count if the weapon of choice was collectible card games.

177.) Any witch (male or female) with a really ugly wart on their nose gains a +1 to their caster level. This bonus disappears whenever the wart is not visible.

177B.) +2 if the wart talks.


178. If you align your stats based off mathematical patterns, you will be forced to decrease random stats by one until it's no longer a pattern.


179. Rules that make the game more complicated and harder to understand get you 2D6 rounds in the penalty box. The good news is you can talk to some members of the Pazio staff there. :)

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

180. All players must buy a pickup truck that weighs at least 10 tons before the game.


181.) Any character who says the name "Candle Jack" will disappe-


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182) Even oblique references to the Freakazoid episode featuring Candle Jack will result in sev-

Scarab Sages

183. Any attempt to create mysterious high-altitude clouds that turn people into clown-zombies will result in...wait. Who are you? What are you doing? What?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.........!

Scarab Sages

Goth Guru wrote:
136. Any character sacrificed in a ritual has sacrificed written across their character sheet or paragraph(if part of a module), in red ink, and is out of the game. A new character of equivalent level is required.

136a. In the specific case of ritual sacrifices of the "Rocky Horror" variety, the new character is one level higher and halfway to the one thereafter, and must be transsexual.


184.) Any Investigator who is not wearing a Deerstalker Cap is unable to use their Inspiration Pool.

185.) A gunslinger can start the game with a revolver if they choose the loose cannon who doesn't play by the rules trait.

186.) Your Witch's winter patron can be Santa Claus.


187.) If a gunslinger chooses a Magnum pistol, that is the only weapon they can use.


188.) The red swords cut faster.

189.) If fire hasn't solved your problem, you haven't used enough of it.

190.) When subjected to a sleep spell, Androids dream of electric sheep.


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191.) Your base attack bonus may not be measured in a quadratic equation.

192.) If a player has ranks in Profession (Lawyer) then they may attempt to loophole out of things like mind control.


193.) Anti-Paladins carrying red sword automatically gain Sith powers.

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