Corpsebound – 598 Words


Round 3: Create a Bestiary entry

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

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This tall, emaciated creature’s decaying skin is flayed up to its distended, fanged jaws. Black ichor seeps from its rail-thin limbs and massive, clawed hands.

Corpsebound CR 9
XP 6,400
CE Large undead
Init +7; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +23

----- Defense -----
AC 22, touch 12, flat-footed 19 (+3 Dex, +10 natural, –1 size)
hp 105 (14d8+42)
Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +13
Defensive Abilities bind corpse, channel resistance +4, consume spell; Immune undead traits; SR 20

----- Offense -----
Speed 30 ft., burrow 20 ft.
Melee 2 claws +17 (1d8+7 plus grab), bite +16 (2d6+7/19–20)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
Special Attacks blood drain (1 Constitution)

----- Statistics -----
Str 25, Dex 17, Con —, Int 10, Wis 15, Cha 14
Base Atk +10; CMB +18; CMD 31
Feats Alertness, Improved Critical (bite), Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Power Attack, Toughness, Weapon Focus (claws)
Skills Climb +24, Intimidate +19, Perception +23, Sense Motive +23
Languages Common
SQ compression, horrid destruction

----- Ecology -----
Environment any
Organization solitary
Treasure standard

----- Special Abilities -----
Bind Corpse (Su) A corpsebound can inhabit the carcass of a Medium, Large, or Huge creature, but can only do so within 24 hours of the creature’s death. It takes a corpsebound 1 minute to inhabit and bind to a corpse, and it can shed the corpse as a full-round action.

A corpsebound gains any movement types, natural attacks (except bite and gore), and any energy vulnerabilities of the corpse it inhabits. If the corpse had energy immunities or resistances, the corpsebound gains up to resistance 20 to those elements. Natural attacks made with the corpse use the corpsebound's base attack bonus and Strength score. It does not gain the corpse’s spell-like or supernatural abilities.

While inhabiting a corpse, a corpsebound gains bonuses based on the corpse’s size.

  • A Medium corpse grants DR 5/—, a +2 armor bonus to its AC, and a +1 size bonus to its attacks.
  • A Large corpse grants DR 5/— and a +4 armor bonus to its AC.
  • A Huge corpse grants DR 5/—, a +6 armor bonus to its AC, a +4 size bonus to its Strength, a –4 size penalty to its Dexterity, and a –2 penalty to its attacks.

Once the corpse has prevented a total of 25 points of damage for a Medium corpse, 50 points of damage for a Large corpse, or 100 points of damage for a Huge corpse, it is obliterated, and the corpsebound loses all of its applied benefits.

Consume Spell (Su) A corpsebound that is inhabiting a corpse gains the ability to absorb spells that fail to overcome its spell resistance. Upon absorbing a spell, the corpsebound immediately converts it to negative energy and heals a number of hit points equal to twice the spell’s level.

Horrid Destruction (Su) Once inhabited by a corpsebound, a corpse cannot be returned to life with raise dead or reincarnation. The corpse can only be restored to life via resurrection, true resurrection, miracle, or wish.

A corpsebound is an abomination that devours the head of its prey and burrows within. Thereafter, its exposed nerve endings grow into the carcass, allowing it to control the dead body like a second skin. Corpsebound normally stand 12 feet tall and weigh 500 pounds.

In the ancient Thassilonian lands of Gastash, the runelord Zutha experimented with ways to quell infestations of ankhegs and bulettes. Zutha originally designed the corpsebound to exterminate these overgrown populations within Gastash. Since their inception, the corpsebound have moved on from their birthland, following their base instincts to hunt in overpopulated areas.

Paizo Employee Developer , Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Congratulations for making it to Round 3! Your item worked for enough people to make Top and you mapping skills got you through Round 2, and now folks get to see your monster. Like previous years that I’ve judged this round, I’m approaching judging the same way I would do a pre-development pass on a turnover one of my freelancers sent me. I start at the descriptive text at the top and then work my way through the statblock looking for errors or weak spots that need to be addressed in development. Then I read the flavor text and see how it is all integrated. My final judgment is not only based on errors or lack thereof. Some of my comments are just personal preference, so please don’t take anything personally. We just have different tastes.

Now on to your monster!

• Almost all numbers relevant to Table 1–1 are on the mark or only one or two points off. The lowest is the hit points, which are 10 under. Damage reduction could help bring this closer in line.

• Without completely breaking down every formula, it looks like there are little to no errors in the statblock (this includes formatting—there’s even en-dashed and em-dashes).

• Ah, I now see that the monster does have damage reduction of a sort. Bind corpse is interesting, but I don’t like that it requires the GM to refigure a bunch of stuff. Damage reduction and the AC boost are easy enough to incorporate, but I would leave off the ability score adjustments. I also think that the AC boosts are a bit high for the Large and Huge inhabiting corpsebound, and don’t make a ton of sense. I don’t see how being in a corpse makes me less easy to hit. If you were to keep them as they are, I’d reduce the natural armor bonus to the un-bound monster.

• I have a hard time imagining this big creature mushing itself down into a Medium-sized creature, but that’s what I imagine compression is there for. I kinda get an image of it folding its skinny body up as it inhabits a human, bulging out in weird places where the flesh is soft.

• Consume spell is interesting, and I hope that the flavor text contextualizes the ability, because I don’t get why this would happen.

• Horrid destruction is neat and pretty nasty.

• The flavor text is fine, if a little light. I see you reached for the big toys by linking this monster to a runelord, but I wish that you would have let the reader know more about how to use these monsters and spent some of your word count talking about the personalities of these intelligent creatures other than their desire to hunt.

This submission has some good parts and has some weak parts. I’m on the fence about whether this designer should advance to the next round.

RPG Superstar 2009, RPG Superstar Judgernaut, Contributor

Jeff! Welcome back for Round 3! This is the round where we temporarily set aside your earlier tests--i.e., a magic item "calling card" to showcase your potential, and a map to literally draw in the viewer so they can connect with your vision for an inspired gaming experience at the table. Instead, this go-around, we're testing your skill with monster design--one of the most important skills a freelancer can have--and, it'll be measured from the ground up rather than relying on class levels or special templates to make it stand out. This is absolutely vital to a great designer, because new monsters are always needed, and always in demand. Even if you don't necessarily go on to win the entire RPG Superstar competition, you can still make a significant enough impression in this round to serve you well in securing future freelancing opportunities, whether with Paizo or Pathfinder-compatible third-party publishers.

So, with that in mind, I'm going into these monster evaluations looking for a handful of insights into what your design choices and overall execution tell me about you. Aside from just a useful, compelling monster, I want to see how creative you are in selecting a particular concept and bringing it to life with your words. I also want to see how you match that with an accurate stat-block, and I want to ascertain how well you understand the mechanics which distinguish one monster creation from another, both as a combination for incorporating existing rules into your design, as well as being innovative enough to invent all-new material which others may eventually reference for their future designs, as well. Essentially, it's one thing to create a competent monster for the game table, but it's quite another to transcend that, and create something truly iconic and ground-breaking. You do the latter and you'll definitely be on your way to the next round.

First up, let's evaluate your monster's name: the Corpsebound. Sounds appropriately undead, as anything related to binding a corpse should be. It works.

Now, let's examine your creativity in describing and explaining what your monster is all about. "This tall, emaciated creature’s decaying skin is flayed up to its distended, fanged jaws. Black ichor seeps from its rail-thin limbs and massive, clawed hands." Well...that sounds terrifying. This particular bit of read-aloud text should get everyone's attention fairly quickly at the table. And, looking beyond into its special abilities, we can see that this creature can “wear” a corpse to further creep out everyone. And the consume spell ability to convert it to negative energy healing is useful, and potentially frustrating as spellcasters try to handle it. Aside from that, there really wasn't enough words left over to your descriptive paragraphs justice. They're kind of light on showing a bit more of your creativity. Instead, you invested most of that show-us-what-you've-got opportunity in your stat-block and special powers.

So, what about the mechanics? In the interests of time, I didn't try to number-crunch everything, but you look pretty solid on the basics. The AC, saves, hit points, and attack bonuses, and average damage are spot-on for a CR 9 creature, but the bind corpse ability lets it take these elements a bit too far for its threat level. In fact, I'm not sure the bind corpse ability is fully baked yet. I get the gist of what you were striving for, but it's creating a lot of variability in this creature's true CR value. Playtesting would really bear out the solidity of the design, but at a glance, I can't help feeling it's not quite “there” yet, and I fear it might create a bit of a recordkeeping challenge for GMs to track at the gaming table. Everything else makes sense, though, and you've done an especially good job of taking advantage of existing universal monster rules to further refine the monster's abilities (i.e., blood drain, compression, etc.)

Next up, the presentation. You got pretty much everything here right. You bolded, italicized, and alphabetized the right things and got everything in order. So, the professional polish is there and your attention to detail is on point.

Bottom Line: This monster design has an interesting idea behind it, but faces some challenging mechanical considerations to pull it off. The professional polish is tight and clean, and everything reads well, though. So, I'm kind of wavering between recommending or putting myself on the fence. Given the strength of your earlier work, and a desire to see what else you can do, I'll go ahead and tip the scales by saying I DO RECOMMEND this designer to advance to the next round. But, if you advance, I want to see a tighter overall mechanical design that fully secures the vision you have in mind.

Paizo Employee Editor

Welcome to the top 16! Great job getting this far! Now let’s take a look at your monster.

First off, I’m not exactly sold on the idea of an undead crawling into an animating other corpses. Especially since the base creature is size Large and it can fit into a Medium body. I don’t believe that the compression ability works that way. Maybe if it were some kind of tiny bug (or magical beast) that could do the same, that would really throw players for a loop. Think you’re dealing with a zombie? No, it’s a corpsebound beetle!

Second, I’m also not keen on the fact that it can absorb spells to heal itself; that isn’t a common undead ability and it doesn’t feel like it fits with the overall concept of the monster.

In the end, I do not recommend this designer move on to the next round.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

Jason Keeley wrote:
Maybe if it were some kind of tiny bug (or magical beast) that could do the same, that would really throw players for a loop. Think you’re dealing with a zombie? No, it’s a corpsebound beetle!

That would just be an incutilis, a tiny aberration that rides and controls a corpse without undeath.

Jason Keeley wrote:
Especially since the base creature is size Large and it can fit into a Medium body. I don’t believe that the compression ability works that way.

I agree with Neil's and Adam's counterpoints here. Compression fills a logical gap for the bind corpse ability (if it can squeeze into and "wear" a Medium corpse, it can compress through at least a Medium space), but these abilities follow rather than depend on each other.

--

This is another answer to the question posed by Charlie Brooks's swarmwyrm: how can Pathfinder model one creature physically inhabiting another? Where the swarmwyrm is symbiotic and mechanically consistent between instances, this treats the inhabited creature like a piece of equipment. The worn corpse grants variable abilities and benefits until it's removed or destroyed, making it more flexible but also more complicated to run.

I agree that the consume spell ability doesn't fit as tightly as the other abilities, but otherwise its abilities represent an interesting and evocative approach that echoes horror tropes about possession without aping anything specific. Rather like the creature itself, it squeezes some novel and complex mechanics into a pretty small space. The bookkeeping burden makes this more of a memorable situational creature than one to throw onto an encounter list, which follows the trends of Jeff's item and map.

I can see how it'd be divisive—I believe this is the only monster to get three different responses from the judges—but I respect the big swing and want to see Jeff take a similarly big swing in the next round.


I don't get how inhabiting the corpse is going to changes its Strength. Also, I don't like how the corpse absorbing hit points isn't spelled out. Should this be treated as temporary hit points?

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

RJGrady wrote:
Also, I don't like how the corpse absorbing hit points isn't spelled out. Should this be treated as temporary hit points?

The language is similar to spells and effects like protection from arrows, stoneskin, defending bone, etc.

Stoneskin wrote:
Once the spell has prevented a total of 10 points of damage per caster level (maximum 150 points), it is discharged.
Corpsebound wrote:
Once the corpse has prevented a total of 25 points of damage for a Medium corpse, 50 points of damage for a Large corpse, or 100 points of damage for a Huge corpse, it is obliterated ...

Grand Lodge

RJGrady wrote:
I don't get how inhabiting the corpse is going to changes its Strength. Also, I don't like how the corpse absorbing hit points isn't spelled out. Should this be treated as temporary hit points?

As Garrett pointed out, you'd treat it as you would the above spells. Stoneskin was one of the inspirations for the ability.


Stoneskin says

Quote:


The subject gains DR 10/adamantine. It ignores the first 10 points of damage each time it takes damage from a weapon, though an adamantine weapon bypasses the reduction.

So, stoneskin actually specifies a mechanism for absorbing damage. Protection from arrows and defending bone also grant DR, like stoneskin.

Bind corpse does not. If you read it very narrowly, the corpse would never be obliterated since it never specifies how or when it absorbs damage.


The monster round is always my favorite, so I'm going to give some feedback on all the entries. Basic run-through using the monster creation rules to see if the numbers line up, then general thoughts and critique. I'm running down the list as I find them. This is the fourth monster entry I've read thus far.

Spoiler:
Basic Stats [+: high for CR; =: within CR range; -: low for CR]
hp -
AC -
Atk =
Dmg =
DC n/a
Saves -/-/+

Hp and AC are lower than the benchmark for CR 9, AC only slightly so. Attack and damage are on par. Low saves are a bit low, not uncommon for undead, and it has SR to offset that weakness. Its special abilities could compensate for hp and AC as well.

Corpsebound is an intriguing name, and it hints at the monster's abilities. The descriptive text is a definite attention-getter.

Consume spell is a definite defensive plus. Horrid destruction is a nasty problem if this thing is riding around in your friend's body, or the corpse of someone you're supposed to save. This helps cause problems outside of just the possibility of it killing you, and I enjoy it when monsters have other dimensions to them that create unique obstacles for PCs.

Finally, there's the bind corpse ability. Now, if we're going to judge its ability to ride around in someone else's meatsack, I have to go to the seminal creature that's been doing it for several incarnations of the game: the intellect devourer.

Note that there's no attempt to shoehorn mechanics into the ID's body thief ability. It just shrinks. It also gets all the body's goodies, including hit points. It's a smooth ability. Jump in, eat the brain, hotwire the body, and go have some fun.

Now, the corpsebound isn't so smooth, but then that's part of it's style. It's messy. Rip off the head, fold up, and crawl on in. Instant Egger-suit. (I also can't read this without going to the imagery of Men in Black.) While I can appreciate the approach to its mechanic, it feels clunky and in need of a rewrite. I can read between the lines to see how the DR is supposed to work in conjunction with the hit points the body gets. Trouble is, I shouldn't have to read between the lines. I should be able to get all the mechanics explained via the text.

As for the creature's history and background, I wasn't thrilled. Yes, it ties to Golarion. It's certainly a unique solution to an overpopulation of monsters. I'm just not thrilled by the end result of the history lesson being "They were created as undead monster exterminators." It lacks a certain mystique or sense of style that I really want to put this monster ahead of the pack.

As it stands, the corpsebound is good, but I'm not sure it's a finished product, or if it's Superstar. That said, I still have eleven more entries to read, so that may change. Good luck to you.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

Corpsebound
How I’m rating monsters:
Creativity: does this seem innovative and original or does this seem contrived? How is the description?
On one hand it has this thin man vibe I like and does something creepy and interesting. On the other it feels a little like you tried to make an undead chimney troll and mixed it with a corpulent 7/10 for me.
Marketability: are the choices you made smart and marketable to a voting public? Does the name pop?
Name is good not great, idea has a nice grim’s dark fairytale vibe I’m going to say this sels 8/10
Trade craft: did you format correctly and scale correct to Paizo standards?
I have trouble with large create compressing into a medium which is the chief ding 6/10
Encounter worthy: as a GM is this easy to use and reuse?
Inherently you have something that can assume the form of others and in an interesting way. I can write 50 encounters using this thing and they’d never be the same so high marks 10/10
All get a 1-10 score which I will then average. I reserve the right to add or subtract points from the final score as long as they are justified with reasoning.
7.75 out of 10: I’d call this the 3rd best undead though which is why this loses a point to make it 6.75/10. I like it a lot but I’m more likely to vote up Mark's (#1) or Taylor's (#2) undead beastie and it comes down to how and why they are undead which is key to the category for me.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

RJGrady wrote:
Stoneskin wrote:

The subject gains DR 10/adamantine. It ignores the first 10 points of damage each time it takes damage from a weapon, though an adamantine weapon bypasses the reduction.

So, stoneskin actually specifies a mechanism for absorbing damage

That text in stoneskin isn't a new mechanic, it just explains how damage reduction works.

Damage reduction rules wrote:
The numerical part of a creature's damage reduction (or DR) is the amount of damage the creature ignores from normal attacks. Usually, a certain type of weapon can overcome this reduction (see Overcoming DR). This information is separated from the damage reduction number by a slash. For example, DR 5/magic means that a creature takes 5 less points of damage from all weapons that are not magic. If a dash follows the slash, then the damage reduction is effective against any attack that does not ignore damage reduction.

It's not strictly necessary in stoneskin, which is why other spells like Protection from arrows and defending bone that grant DR don't provide it.

RJGrady wrote:

Protection from arrows and defending bone also grant DR, like stoneskin.

Bind corpse does not.

Did you miss the part of the ability that grants DR 5/—?

Bind corpse wrote:
  • A Medium corpse grants DR 5/—, a +2 armor bonus to its AC, and a +1 size bonus to its attacks.
  • A Large corpse grants DR 5/— and a +4 armor bonus to its AC.
  • A Huge corpse grants DR 5/—, a +6 armor bonus to its AC, a +4 size bonus to its Strength, a –4 size penalty to its Dexterity, and a –2 penalty to its attacks.
  • Except for the size-dependent bonuses, the language is practically copied and pasted from protection from arrows or defending bone, neither of which provide "a mechanism for absorbing damage"; they don't need to, because it's inferred from the existing rules on DR.

    Protection from arrows wrote:
    The subject gains damage reduction 10/magic against ranged weapons. This spell doesn't grant you the ability to damage creatures with similar damage reduction. Once the spell has prevented a total of 10 points of damage per caster level (maximum 100 points), it is discharged.
    Defending bone wrote:
    This gives you damage reduction 5/bludgeoning. Once the bone has prevented a total of 5 points of damage per caster level (maximum 50 points), it is destroyed and the spell is discharged.
    Bind corpse wrote:
    A Medium corpse grants DR 5/— ... Once the corpse has prevented a total of 25 points of damage for a Medium corpse, 50 points of damage for a Large corpse, or 100 points of damage for a Huge corpse, it is obliterated, and the corpsebound loses all of its applied benefits.

    Is it that the language Paizo uses for the same mechanical effect is unclear, or are the damage reduction rules themselves unclear? Would it have been clearer if the DR 5/— was somewhere else in the bind corpse ability's text?

    Liberty's Edge Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

    Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

    Posts sometimes feel like coming from pit crew members. It is a way to get around the no-clarification rule, but in the end it can actually hurt the submission itself when they become too opinionated ;-)

    Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

    I give up. I want to know where RJ is coming from, or if I'm missing something in the design, or if RJ is missing something; I do research, try to answer it, ask questions, and I'm hurting the submission.

    I'll see y'all next year.


    The base concept here is rather cool. Crawling into and wearing a corpse is creepy and cinematic—it sure grabs my attention. Regarding whether it should/could compress to fit inside a Medium creature, I actually like and appreciate that part.

    Sczarni RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka CalebTGordan

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    Raven, I know you put a winking smiley in your post, possibly to indicate you meant to be sarcastic, but your comment is pretty insulting to both Jeff and Garrett. An apology is in order, and you most certainly should consider showing a bit more restraint in the future.

    I know for a fact who was involved in workshopping this monster, and I know the comments thus far have not been influenced by that workshopping. To suggest otherwise is speculation at best and mudslinging at worst.

    If I lose votes over this then so be it. Jeff is a good man and fellow contestant, and Garrett has been an excellent commentator. Both deserve a bit more respect.


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    I'm not saying the writeup is wrong or terrible or anything. it's just that, with stoneskin, the wording makes it very clear how it's supposed to work. This doesn't. On my first read-through, I assumed the hit points were just this giant blob of hit points, which concerned me from a balance standpoint. But then I became less confident how it was supposed to work.

    Quote:


    Did you miss the part of the ability that grants DR 5/—?

    No, I just didn't make the connection until literally just now.

    So, there it is. As I said in the first place, it just wasn't clear to me how this was supposed to work.

    RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka theheadkase

    In the interest of sharpening my skills I'll finally be chiming in on entries! I do a stream-of-consciousness style of review (just like my other critiques) and I will do my best not to read other folks' comments so as to not be influenced one way or the other. I believe creatures serve more than just a combat capacity, and removing choices from players (such as forcing them only into combat with a specific creature) is not Superstar design. Plus, who doesn't like outwitting/outsmarting/etc. a creature?

    Corpsebound

    I'm digging the name, tells me I'm likely to get something undead and maybe something that's inside of a corpse? I dunno but I'm intrigued and it just has that certain ring to it.

    The intro sentences are good and descriptive, I would enjoy reading this out to a group and I'd be a little worried as a player if I heard it. I would have liked you to use some more of the senses like smell but this is perfectly good.

    Hooray a Large undead!

    Senses and such make sense..except the Perception feels high. It might not be and there could be a good reason for it, upfront though it looks high.

    Whoa 14 HD? There must be precedent but that gives me a little pause.

    Hmm Will is the strong save and the other two are bads. Interesting...especially considering it is average intelligence. Doesn't always correspond but that's an odd choice I feel.

    Ok, bind corpse special ability is just plain cool. In fact, I wish this were more intelligent as a creature so it could be more of a BBEG that is constantly switching corpses when it's found out. It still could as is but that's just cool. The DR makes sense. The resistance doesn't quite make sense as you don't give a scale for what size creature equals what resistance...and you don't say if it directly correlates to what resistance the corpse had. You do mention that it is up to resistance 20 so I assume it directly correlates but it isn't expressly mentioned. That's likely because you ran out of wordcount.

    I would have liked to see this creature have some sort of detriment once it is ousted from a corpse like a recovery period where it can only take a standard or a move.

    That said, as cool as the bind corpse ability is, I'm a little concerned about power here with the hefty SR 20 already in effect plus potential energy resistance plus 2 claws with grab plus a bite plus channel resistance plus the consume spell special ability. It is a nasty creature and I almost think it should be a higher CR. I'll let the experts figure that out but just be careful not to go too gonzo.

    I don't know yet about the burrow speed. It makes sense, burrowing into Huge corpses...but I just don't see this creature burrowing into the ground. I dunno what would work better though. I may have just left it out personally and stuck with plain old movement.

    Not sure if blood drain makes thematic sense, I'll have to read the bottom description. But up front it doesn't quite make sense...this thing inhabits corpses as armor...doesn't scream blood drinker to me.

    Stats look good, not gonna crunch it all but nothing looks out of line too far.

    Perception still feels high and I'm not seeing anything that screams this should be a super perceptive creature.

    Hmm...too bad it only speaks Common but that makes sense with its Int.

    Compression!! Yay!

    Horrid destruction makes perfect sense and shows good thinking on your part.

    Is it really ANY environment? Like...on the Plane of Fire inhabiting a Fire elemental? Because that would seem anathema to a lot of undead.

    Loving the write up...dunno if I would have specifically called out the runelord but I like it.

    Overall, I'm liking this a lot. I may have pointed out a lot of things I found odd but there is great creativity here and most everything is good. This is definitely getting a vote from me. If you do progress, be careful not to get too gonzo in the future.

    RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor

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    Kiel Howell wrote:
    Whoa 14 HD? There must be precedent but that gives me a little pause.

    14 HD is the exact number of HD a CR 9 undead should have, per the monster creation guidelines.

    Quote:
    Hmm Will is the strong save and the other two are bads. Interesting...especially considering it is average intelligence. Doesn't always correspond but that's an odd choice I feel.

    Again, this is directly from the creature type rules. Undead have good Will saves.

    RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor

    Jeff ran one question by me during development, but other than that, I'm coming at this monster almost completely fresh, so I'm going to comment on it as normal.

    Nice, descriptive name. Obviously this is going to be some sort of undead, but it's not too spot on.

    Descriptive text is solid, giving a nice visual and describing it clearly.

    The write-up's OK, though I'd have liked a touch more (obviously word count's tight). I don't think I need the line about nerve endings grow, though, and I'd rather have a little more idea of what these things want. They've got average Intelligence and above average Wisdom, but all I know about how to run them is they "follow their base instincts to hunt in overpopulated areas."

    I was also a little thrown at first by the Large creature inhabiting a Medium creature's body, but Jeff Lee's Egger-Suit reference made me decide that's not that huge a deal. I thought the ability was clear in terms of the DR and how it functions -- I do wish I knew more about the minute-long process of inhabiting a corpse. I guess as presented it is something intended to happen out of combat, but I want to know how my PCs could stop it if they walked in as this thing's getting "dressed." I'm sure word count was again a factor here, but I think that's important information.

    Consume spell seems a little off-theme to me; why can it only do it when it's inhabiting a corpse?

    A little strange they're only solitary, as I'd think they'd be willing to work together if they were designed to wipe out infestations of ankhegs and bulettes (as that's not likely to be the job of a single corpsebound).

    Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Clouds Without Water

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    Taylor Hubler wrote:

    Raven, I know you put a winking smiley in your post, possibly to indicate you meant to be sarcastic, but your comment is pretty insulting to both Jeff and Garrett. An apology is in order, and you most certainly should consider showing a bit more restraint in the future.

    I know for a fact who was involved in workshopping this monster, and I know the comments thus far have not been influenced by that workshopping. To suggest otherwise is speculation at best and mudslinging at worst.

    If I lose votes over this then so be it. Jeff is a good man and fellow contestant, and Garrett has been an excellent commentator. Both deserve a bit more respect.

    He may have been referring to a comment (not from Garrett) that makes a definitive statement about the inspiration for one the special abilities.

    That made me uncomfortable as well, as it feels against the spirit of the no clarification rule.

    RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka theheadkase

    Jacob W. Michaels wrote:
    Kiel Howell wrote:
    Whoa 14 HD? There must be precedent but that gives me a little pause.

    14 HD is the exact number of HD a CR 9 undead should have, per the monster creation guidelines.

    Quote:
    Hmm Will is the strong save and the other two are bads. Interesting...especially considering it is average intelligence. Doesn't always correspond but that's an odd choice I feel.
    Again, this is directly from the creature type rules. Undead have good Will saves.

    Thanks Jacob! Didn't have handy access to the prd and couldn't look it up as far as the saves. I never realized the HD for CR9 undead was so high either!

    Sczarni RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka CalebTGordan

    R D Ramsey wrote:
    Taylor Hubler wrote:

    Raven, I know you put a winking smiley in your post, possibly to indicate you meant to be sarcastic, but your comment is pretty insulting to both Jeff and Garrett. An apology is in order, and you most certainly should consider showing a bit more restraint in the future.

    I know for a fact who was involved in workshopping this monster, and I know the comments thus far have not been influenced by that workshopping. To suggest otherwise is speculation at best and mudslinging at worst.

    If I lose votes over this then so be it. Jeff is a good man and fellow contestant, and Garrett has been an excellent commentator. Both deserve a bit more respect.

    He may have been referring to a comment (not from Garrett) that makes a definitive statement about the inspiration for one the special abilities.

    That made me uncomfortable as well, as it feels against the spirit of the no clarification rule.

    I believe I know the comment you are talking about, but it wasn't made by someone who workshopped the monster. I could be wrong, Jeff may have shown his monster to someone outside of our mutual circles of association. If this person did have insider knowledge of the monster they made a poor choice in their wording. While I have not talked to Jeff about this (intentionally, so that I cannot myself accidently pass along clarifications and comments from him,) I feel he is honorable and wise enough not to ask people to make clarificaitons and statements on his behalf.

    I believe my original statement still stands. I would even add that I feel this is a matter only the judges sould comment and decide on, or something to be talked about in a general sense outside of individual submission threads.

    Back on topic: Jeff knows my own thoughts on his monster but I will say publically that it has my vote. I feel it has a great amount of potential and feels pretty cool and unique. I would love to find a way to use a monster like this in my own games.

    Grand Lodge

    If you're referring to my comment, I was doing it my phone, much like I'm doing now. Unfortunately, I ended up missing a word and can't edit it. Not sure if it's because I'm on my phone, or if that's how this particular forum works. I can only imagine how you guys would react to autocorrect words. So much trouble over one little word missing. Like no one here isn't guilty of that. At any rate, my statement should have the word "obviously one of" in it. I promise to proofread before sending.

    Anyways, now that I'm free to say stuff, let's break down the monster...
    The hp are fine so long as the DR takes effect. The same can be said sbout the AC. If there's no corpse, it's pretty much anyone's game. More likely the PC's though.
    The Fort save is low, but it's undead so it doesn't care.
    I agree that the Absorb Spell comes out of nowhere. If there'd been more room for background I'd love to have seen that explained. Especially the part of it only working while IN the body. That said, I see no reason an undead can't have this ability.
    It was said that this reminds someone of Men in Black. I agree. That space roach that wouldn't die. But, it's interesting to see that there's so many different creatures that can do this. The vermlek is one.
    Formatting seems solid.

    Overall, it's creepy, and pretty cool, but I'm curious as to how the PCs would meet up with this. It wouldn't exactly be a random encounter, or that common a fight.

    I would give him the vote, but would love to see an more polished version.

    Liberty's Edge Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

    Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
    Taylor Hubler wrote:

    Raven, I know you put a winking smiley in your post, possibly to indicate you meant to be sarcastic, but your comment is pretty insulting to both Jeff and Garrett. An apology is in order, and you most certainly should consider showing a bit more restraint in the future.

    I know for a fact who was involved in workshopping this monster, and I know the comments thus far have not been influenced by that workshopping. To suggest otherwise is speculation at best and mudslinging at worst.

    If I lose votes over this then so be it. Jeff is a good man and fellow contestant, and Garrett has been an excellent commentator. Both deserve a bit more respect.

    I did not mean to offend anyone (hence the smiley), nor did I wanted to imply that the designer of the monster tried to go around the rule.

    If this is what my wording expressed, I can only present my most heartfelt apologies to all that felt hurt because such was not my intent.

    Not being a native speaker, I may have chosen the wrong words for what I was trying to convey :-(

    What I wrote was trying to convey how I felt. And I did feel like people were trying their utmost to defend the monster rather than trying to clarify it. I am happy to know that this did not come from any "workshopping cabal" (which I do not believe in anyway). But if I felt that way, I think other voters might feel that way too and that could harm the submission.

    And I do not want the submission to lose votes because of what people (including myself) are posting on the thread, doubly so since the designer cannot answer.

    I want the submission to be evaluated on its own merits and I felt the back and forth debates were not helping that.

    Once again, my intent was not to hurt anyone and I apologize deeply to those I have been unwittingly rude to.

    RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka motteditor

    As long as the author's not involved*, the rest of us can passionately defend (or criticize) any entry as much as we want. We should avoid derailing threads, but conversations can certainly be wide-ranging other than that. Check out 2012 Superstar Mike Welham's R2 entry, which brought about a lot of passionate debate. If anything, I wish we saw more of that, as I think people have gotten away from it a bit in latter years/seasons of Superstar.

    (* Or a pit crew member who's basically stepping in for the author, even if unasked.)

    Anyway, back to the monster itself.

    Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Clouds Without Water

    Just a quick preface - the point of commenting for me is to force myself into coherent thoughts about the design choices. That might make it feel like I'm being super-critical of a given monster, but that's not my intent.

    The name certainly gives me a strong idea of what to expect. I have a slight bias against undead, I feel like they're very overused. So the bar is a little higher for this type of creature for me.

    Description is fine, though sort of what I expect from an undead. Also, it's described as "emaciated" with "rail-thin limbs", but then weighs 500 pounds. Granted, it's 12 ft. tall, but that doesn't seem particularly emaciated.

    Burrow makes sense to me, it's a way for it to get to buried corpses for one thing. Though I guess they have to be buried in less than 24 hours.

    Bind Corpse is obviously the core of the creature, and a major consumer of word count. It needs the words, there's a lot to sort out here. You've certainly put a lot of thought into the mechanics, but I'm not sure it's quite enough.

    The DR mechanism is a clever way to deal with the duration of the binding. But while you've modeled most of the wording on existing PRD wording, I do feel it needed a bit more of an explicit connection between the DR and the HP counts. Yes, that's how DR works, but even the PRD takes the extra words to make it extra clear in the Stoneskin text.

    I have to agree I don't see why the armor bonus scales up with size. I think scaling the HP with size accomplishes the same idea of bigger being tougher, and makes more sense.

    Consume Spell seems very random to me. It's not on theme with the rest of it.

    Horrid Destruction is a good name, and a good ability that fits well.

    The text is fine, if a little sparse. The reasoning for their creation is sound.

    Overall, I think this might have been just too complex an idea for the word count. The Bind Corpse ability, as many words as it uses, could have used more. Some were spent on Consume Spell, and a few on the background, but I can't escape the idea that 600 words just isn't enough to do this idea justice.

    RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 9

    This creature makes me slightly nauseous and you managed to start a debate! Win!

    Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Boxhead

    Corpsebound
    Name It’s a monster that inhabits corpses, and as such is bound to it. Works for me.
    Gimmick It inhabits a corpse, and uses that to fight its foes. Also, it eats their heads, making it harder to bring them back. Makes sense.
    Description It seems a bit big for what it’s doing, but otherwise the description works fine.
    Usefulness It’s an unusual undead, but it seems like I could work it into whatever dungeon I’m running at the time. Or maybe it can work as a hitman in Geb and make it harder to raise its target.
    New abilities Horrid destruction and consume spell are neat, but bind corpse is the standout ability here. It’s a complicated rule, but I think it gets the point across that this thing should be in a corpse all the time.
    The rest Stats look good, and there’s nothing unexpected in the feats and skills. Improved Critical is a wasted feat for monsters since you can just specify that the bite has an expended threat range. It’s a neat concept that’s tough to pull off, but I think this works.

    Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

    I don't get much of a feel for this creature form the intro description and the notes below the stat block are not very forthcoming.

    An interesting idea, but it doesn't feel as though it pulls together seamlessly - as a legion of others have said - the size thing is strange, even given the compression ability... I applaud the general level of creativity to make something that is in relation to something else, and so has the potential to be infinitely variable...

    Liberty's Edge Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

    Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

    I am going to be rather direct in my feedback.

    DO NOT ANSWER ME NOW. DO NOT DQ YOURSELF.

    This is an intriguing monster with some nice abilities. Regrettably, its main shtick would need some heavy polish to be as awesome as the whole concept is.

    - The name is spot-on and the description is bone-chilling. I am expecting hardcore mojo here. Though I later realized that PCs will almost never see the creature in its real shape due to the time limits of its main ability.

    - The SR seems pretty high. That coupled with the Channel resistance will make this monster a fare for martials rather than casters. Not that this is innately a bad thing, but Clerics are really going to wonder what they can do except healbot.

    - Burrow is a nice touch in keeping with its theme.

    - Many of its feats seem avoidable, and you included both the Improved Initiative and Toughness that I dread in monster builds.

    - Bind Corpse is a really great idea, but I feel that its execution is sloppy and haphazard, with bits and bolts lying in varying directions. Maybe making it closer to some Beast Shape spells would have been simpler and more elegant. I really feel that here you bit more than you could chew. Also I would have liked the shedding of the corpse to be an immediate action (maybe with some avoidance ability) as a great way to surprise PCs.

    - Consume Spell comes out of nowhere and eats word count that should have been spent on other abilities more in focus with the "wearing a corpse" theme.

    - In contrast to Bind Corpse, Horrid destruction is spot-on : a cool streamlined ability most GMs will love as it opens nice story hooks.

    - The description made me think far too much of the Men in Black and linking it to Zutha actually makes it more pedestrian. It becomes a pest-control tool when it should be something far more awesome.

    All in all, I think you had a great concept and strong visuals but I feel that you got lost in how to describe its main ability and missed the opportunity to develop its theme into something awesome.

    ONCE AGAIN : DO NOT ANSWER NOW. DO NOT DQ YOURSELF.

    Dark Archive

    The main monster is fairly straightforward, but the way the abilities are worded leave some questions. Bind corpse says that after preventing x amount of hp damage, the corpse is destroyed. Does this mean that the corpse gives the creature more (temporary) hit points, or is this referring to the DR? Does consume spell heal damage to the corpse, or the Corpsebound? Overall, I think you had a great idea, but lost something in translation. It feels like you started with some strong abilities but struggled to portray what you envisioned, and then backtracked into safer territory with everything else. I wish this had gone through a few more edits, as I think we would have had some of the (mine and others') raised questions answered. Good luck!

    Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9

    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    It finally hit me what this reminded me of... It is partially similar to the Edgar suit from MIB! How the hell did the space roach fit in Edgar's skin? Compression my friends, compression.

    Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka mechaPoet

    There are two ways a party could encounter this creature: either in its natural state, in which case its low stats and solitary nature will mean that it gets toasted, or already inhabiting a corpse. In the latter case, this requires more GM prep, and allows for any number of different encounters with this creature.

    I think the bind corpse ability is kind of a double edged sword in a design sense. On the one hand, it can inhabit just about any appropriately sized corpse, allowing for a huge number of different encounters with one creature! On the other hand, there are already a huge number of creatures to choose from for those encounters, so what benefit do I gain from using, for instance, a corpsebound wearing a bulette's headless corpse instead of just a bulette? It's grosser, and the DR and consume spell ability will potentially keep it alive long enough for the body to be obliterated and reveal the nasty beast inside. But there are other gross monsters, and the corpsebound's special ability tends to negate the cool special abilities of the bodies it inhabits to gain their more mundane attacks and movements.

    Ultimately, I think the corpsebound's ability to be used with any creature's body is a lot more limiting than it seems, because it's the choice between using the corpsebound or the original creature (which still has its special gimmick while alive). So it kind of feels to me like it had no special ability besides getting some defenses when it wears a flesh suit. While gross, and potentially neat once if I saw it for the first time as a player with no prior knowledge, it just doesn't excite me as much as a creature with a more solid identity. That's just me, though, and maybe other people will find the range of possibilities more exciting. Good luck!

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka JoelF847

    I'm not sure there's a strong need for another monster that inhabits/uses corpses as bodies. Unfortunately, being an undead, the corpsebound is a more obvious choice for this type of ability.

    As for the details, there's several things that don't work for me. First, how does the blood drain work? Normally this is activated on a creature grappled by the monster, or in the case of a stirge, when attached. The corpsebound doesn't have any special grappling ability, so I'm not sure this would ever come up. Second, it's only 1 Con, which is pretty weak for a CR 9 critter. A stirge drains 1 Con and it's CR 1/2. Most other monsters I see with this ability at least drain 1d2 Con or more.

    Horrid destruction makes sense for this monster, but I'm unsure why it impacts reincarnation. There's no requirement for that spell to have an intact corpse the way raise dead does. It's normally able to bring back a disintegrated creature even. "The condition of the remains is not a factor."

    Also, for an ability like bind corpse, there needs to be some rules about how someone can detect that something's off, either Perception checks, Sense Motive, or Knowledge checks, etc. It would make sense to have smaller corpses have lower DCs in this case, since there's not as much room for the monster to squeeze in.

    Finally, other than the default, undead kills people cause it hates the living, there's not a lot of motivation for this monster. Especially as an intelligent creature who can take on all sorts of different forms, I would much rather have info about what it does with it's rides, rather than where it was created (and to deal with ankhegs? seems like it would have been created as a good necromantic spy or something).

    RPG Superstar 2015 Top 8 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8 aka DeathQuaker

    Congrats on getting into the top 16, Jeffrey!

    What I like: It's a well-designed, mechanically sound creature appropriate for its CR, and the potentially complex bind corpse ability is clearly explained and fleshed out (pun intended?). This ability is also cool, and while there are other creatures that do weird/awful things with dead bodies, I've not seen an ability quite like this--although ironically, it is very loosely thematically similar to another monster in this contest's (the guillowed steal head ability). Still, it's essentially a shapeshifting monster with a very unique and ooky way of changing shape.

    What I struggle with: The theme works, especially for an undead, but the abilities don't all come together to feed the theme as well as they should. The consume spell ability comes out of nowhere and seems to have nothing to do with the rest of the monster.

    Horrid destruction is also just nasty for nastiness's sake and I would probably never use this monster in one of my games--even to the point of replacing it with another creature if it showed up in a module or AP--simply because I don't like doing that kind of stuff to my PCs (it's hard enough in my games to get raised anyway, but I'm not going to block it like that). Harder core GMs than I may love it. I also agree with another poster that it should not apply to reincarnate.

    Is it one of the three monster types I've been totally sick of since, oh, about the Bestiary 3 (dragon, fey, or undead)? Yep, and unfortunately, if I need an undead, there are many, many, many already established ones I would prefer to use before turning this one.

    Final Thoughts: I am just not excited about this, personally, but I can tell you have an excellent grasp of design and mechanics and wish you well in this contest and any other design endeavors you take on.

    RPG Superstar 2015 Top 4, RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

    Congratulations on earning the votes to see you through to Round 3! Here’s what I’m looking for in a monster.

    Does it make sense as something that could really exist? Nice descriptive line to open with. You mention that they were bred to quell infestations of ankhegs and bulettes, but their abilities don’t seem uniquely suited to the task, at least not as suited as they probably should be for such a specific purpose.

    Are the abilities exciting to run? Its abilities will never occur on-screen, which means I can’t horrify my players by describing what it does to one of their fallen. The one special ability that is going to affect them is the negative energy spell conversion, which is something I question it having if its intent was to hunt underground vermin.

    Does it spark ideas for use in an adventure? It creates an unsettling image, which I’d like to find a use for.

    RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 8 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

    I'd like to try and shed some light on this monster, if I can. :)

    First off, thank you to everybody for the feedback, and know that I will take every comment seriously and try to incorporate it into my future design work.

    To give a little back ground info, this is technically only my third monster I have ever "made." It was an intense learning process that I am obviously still trying to perfect.

    I found that during this process I learned that - yes, editing is great and can catch mistakes (large and small) before the product goes out the door, but I found there is a point where it becomes a cycle of diminishing returns.

    What I mean is that, I found myself wanting to incorporate every idea and tinker so much, that in the end I think I essentially lost my original concept. I blame my eagerness to make the “perfect” monster, but at some point I think the best designers are ones that can see that boundary line and stop themselves from further "tinkering." I am obviously still learning where that boundary is.

    To look at some of the feedback: The core concept of the monster was supposed to be some creature that jumps in another's body and drives it around like a mech suit. (My brain says, OH YEAH!)

    @Adam D: I agree with this assessment 100%. In the end the monster was burdened down with mechanics and I was light on description to give users any reason to want to use him or to link the mechanics in a package. I wish I had been able to tighten its theme more to include consume spell and the rest of its history. I had hoped my stretch for the use of compression would translate to the creature pulling on a Medium sized body – at one point I thought why not just ditch the Medium size, but in the end I envisioned that it being able to use Medium sized body suits would give more of a “threat” to PCs. They would imagine that it was coming for their body.

    @Neil S: Thank you for taking a chance on me and recommending me, if for no other reason than my prior rounds. /me hears Darth Vader’s voice, “Do not fail me again…”

    @Jason: I went through various core creatures and at one point had it as a bird that peaked its way into a corpse, but it didn’t feel “scary” enough. Lol

    It seems Consume Spell was called out a lot for not fitting its theme. I had wanted to tie it in as the creatures ability to “heal” its suit of flesh, after having it been chopped up in combat and to give spell casters something to worry about.

    @RJGrady: I had its Strength change in response to it “taking over” a creatures muscles and body frame, thereby gaining a portion of the shell’s mass and strength. Again, I recognize the confusion with me having so little words for further description of this process.

    @Garrett/Kevin: Yes, stoneskin was cut/pasted directly and the genesis of how the corpse suit was to work. I imagined players hacking through mounds of meat and flesh before ever contacting the actual creature. I didn’t realize people would confuse this when I separated the second sentence from the DR. I will definitely attempt to be more careful with mechanics.

    @RDRamsey: I also think undead are overused, but somehow convinced myself along the way that this creature should be undead…lol, I don’t even remember where or when I came to that conclusion. I do remember that when I first thought of this idea, it was going to be a formless entity of pure energy that craved a flesh husk and killed any material creature to get its flesh, but with combat and its energy body slowly degenerating the husk, until it finally needed to go kill again. Then that somehow became a death bird that chewed its way in – which morphed into an undead. Lol

    @Raven Black: Bind Corpse definitely could have used some additional work. The original entry was twice as long, and addresses in detail most concerns others have brought up. In the end, I felt it lacked elegance and obviously, I did not have the word count for it. The more I cut, the more was lost, and the more was left open to interpretation of the reader. Bad! /me smacks own hands.

    @Thomas: Ha! The Edgar suit definitely hit me half way through writing this up.

    @Stephen: I love your thoughts about the monster and wish I had had access to your brain or thought patterns during development of this. 

    @Joel: For the blood drain, I imagine this thing killing a creature and slurping up its blood, like a martini. Its claws have the UMA of grab and so I did not add in any additional special grapple abilities. I love the idea that it could shred the corpse and make a mad dash!

    @R Pickard: Yes there are a ton of undead and this probably falls flat in comparison to some. I really wanted to make it more dynamic in its imagery of driving a dead body shell around, but in the end let my idea get cramped up by word count. I think my inexperience led me down the path and didn’t recognize the truth that this should have been placed on the back burner and pulled out at a later date when I had no word count limitations to really make it shine! I will try my best in the next round to excite you!

    @Brian: Wow, you hit the nail on the head. The abilities of it not being on-screen. I like how you put that and I agree. I had a worry that if I had shortened the time it took to inhabit a corpse, that it could be abused. Take a player down and jump in the next round or something, felt a little closer to a coup-de-grace and too brutal. I think probably something in-between would have been a better choice.

    I hope I cleared up a little bit where my brain was (and wasn’t) during this creation. I want to thank everyone who gave me the benefit of the doubt and voted for me, despite this creature not “wowing.” Thank you all for your amazing feedback and I hope to file all this great wealth of design knowledge away in my brain! (Too bad I am not like Data from Star Trek and can just bust it out like Adam D. does!)

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