The return of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly item Critique thread Season 9 edition


RPG Superstar™ General Discussion

51 to 100 of 251 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | next > last >>
Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Alright, heading home from work for the day. I am taking a few hours off, to eat and reward myself with an "herb" break, and finishing up a book layout I was supposed to have done a week ago, but will be posting another 15-20 item critiques tonight. I promise everyone that requests a review will get one, it just may take several days. (optimistic arn't I LOL)

Dark Archive Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 9

Critique away, thought I had a good one, this time.
Anticipation
Auramoderate divination; CL 5th
Slot slotless; Price 64,000 gp; Weight 12 lbs.
Description
This halberd’s only decoration is an intricate silver etching of an eye, it’s pupil a rose colored gem. The eye seems to stare, almost as if it’s studying you.
This halberd sharpens your wariness, granting a constant +2 insight bonus to initiative. The wielder can choose one target within sight as his focus and after the target is chosen, the halberd mentally aids the wielder in anticipating the target's every move. The wielder gains a +2 insight bonus to Armor Class versus the target but due to this intense focus he suffers a -2 Armor Class penalty versus other foes.
Upon the first successful attack the target must pass a DC 18 Will save, or the mental connection strengthens, granting you a +2 insight bonus to attack and damage rolls versus the target. If the target passes the Will save he blocks further focus and is immune for 24 hours. Due to the mental connection, whenever the target misses you with an attack, the insight bonus to attack and damage increases by 1 (to a maximum of +5) as the target's concentration slackens from anger.
The wielder may change the target being focused on once per round, doing this resets the attack and damage bonus.
Construction
RequirementsCreate Magic Arms and Armor, anticipate peril, anticipate thoughts; Cost 32,000 gp

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Herbal tea break, BTW, nuff said there, back too work.

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Gideon, you already posted your item in the CMI thread. He is using that thread for the queue of critiques. Please be patient, he will get to you when he gets to you.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Seems need for sleep over-ruled more reviews last night, sorry folks, getting back to it today.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Gorgon Sinew Lariat
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 23,300 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
Twisted strands of gorgon sinew compose this +1 distance lasso, infusing it with a gorgon's power.

Once per day as a move action, the wielder can activate this power by swinging the lasso above her head. If the wielder successfully entangles a creature in the same round, the lasso begins to expel green petrification gas.

At the start of the entangled target’s turn, it takes 1d4 points of Dexterity damage each round for a maximum of seven rounds. A creature reduced to 0 Dexterity by the lasso is petrified permanently. Break enchantment, restoration, or stone to flesh can reverse this effect.

Creatures that don’t need to breathe or are protected from inhaling gasses are immune to this effect. Once a creature escapes, breaks out, or cuts through the lasso they take no further Dexterity damage.

This gas can also be dissipated by winds. A moderate wind (11+ mph), such as from a gust of wind spell, disperses the gas in 4 rounds. A strong wind (21+ mph) disperses the gas in 1 round. When the gas is dispersed, the target takes no further Dexterity damage.

The gorgon sinew lariat wraps itself tightly around anything it entangles. If an entangled creature attempts to cast a spell, it must succeed at a concentration check with a DC of 15 + the spell's level or be unable to cast the spell. An entangled creature can escape with a successful DC 20 Escape Artist check.

Gorgon sinew lariats have hardness 2, 12 hp and can be burst with a DC 24 Strength check.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, animate rope, calcific touch, clairaudience/clairvoyance; Cost 11,800 gp

Gorgon Sinew Lariat

The Good: You went with a weapon type that is more often than not forgotten, good call. I had the pleasure of work shopping your item along with GM_solspiral pre competition, and I liked it then, but love it now.

The Bad: No save against Dex dmg may have been a bit much.

The Ugly: While I appreciate giving weapons that are forgotten some love, you likely lost some mass appeal by going with a less often used base item. To be fair, its a hard call sometimes.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Phase Strike Lenses
Aura strong transmutation and moderate divination; CL15th
Slot eyes; Price 36,000 gp; Weight -

Description
This pair of thin crystal lenses shimmers with swirls of an ethereal mist. When applied to the eyes, the wearer sees his surroundings overlaid with a thin gray fog, like the wakes of a thousand wandering spirits. He gains the ability to see incorporeal and ethereal creatures and objects, though not invisible ones. Both lenses must be worn for the magic item to take effect.

At will, the wearer can, as a standard action, stare at one creature of large size or smaller, or one unattended object (weighing no more than 250 lbs.), and cause it (and its gear) to become ethereal for one round. The wearer must be within 100 feet of his target, and have line of sight. Creatures and magical objects can make a Fortitude (object) save DC 22 to resist—non-magical objects receive no saving throw. The wearer cannot target himself with the lenses.

In subsequent rounds, the wearer can, as a standard action, maintain concentration to keep his target ethereal. Creatures made ethereal are not held, and can move and act freely; objects can be mentally moved by the wearer at a speed of 60 feet per round. If the wearer loses line of sight, or moves more than 100 feet away from his target, it rematerializes (if it reappears either wholly or partially inside a solid object, it is shunted off to the nearest open space, taking 1d6 points of damage per 5 feet traveled). The same thing happens to a corporeal creature or object if it is within the area of a larger object’s re-materialization.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, ethereal jaunt, polymorph any object, true seeing; Cost 18,000 gp

Phase Strike Lenses

The Good: You went with an interesting take on ethereal power, and avoided an anti-ghost nature of many such items, which is a good call design wise.

The Bad: Only the strongest aura is normally mentioned.

The Ugly: Murderhobo types could, and would, have a field day with an item of this type. While that is not really on you the designer per day (can't control what folk do with your work), I do see it as something that should always be considered when creating an item.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Locket of Love's Lure
Aurafaint enchantment; CL 3rd
Slot neck; Price 7,500 gp; Weight-

Description
This silver locket was originally designed by followers of Naderi to help star-crossed lovers persevere through the obstacles and doubts that would assail them in their pursuit of true love. It is most commonly suspended from a black leather cord or a lace-trimmed black choker. When the locket is donned, it opens to reveal a stylized ivory cameo depicting whomever the wearer has the strongest romantic feelings for, and cannot be closed again for as long as it is worn. The subject of the picture changes with the feelings of the wearer, but can only change once per 24 hours.

The wearer of a locket of love's lure gains a +2 competence bonus on all Charisma-based skills, and a +5 competence bonus on Charisma-based skill checks made against the subject of the locket's picture. Furthermore, any skill check made by the wearer against the subject of the picture ignores all circumstance penalties due to societal disapproval.

If Naderi is the wearer's patron, the wearer may cast bleed at will and charm person three times per day. Because of the locket's ties to the Lost Maiden, the wearer cannot hold her breath underwater and will automatically fail all Constitution checks against drowning. This does not prevent normal swim checks or holding her breath in other circumstances.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bleed, charm person, creator must worship Naderi; Cost 3,750 gp

Locket of Love's Lure

The Good: You kept very much to the theme of the deity you referenced, and described how the item functions in an interesting way.

The Bad: Romancer/love items are a known trope, and likely take some flack as such. Also a bit too much alliteration in the title for my tastes, IMO it detracts a bit form the item itself.

The Ugly: The requirement that you must worship Naderi, while it makes sense in and of itself with the item, really cuts down on utility and availability. It also somewhat falls into the too specific requirement category, but less so than other items.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Cyclonic Darkleaf
Aura faint illusion and moderate abjuration; CL 6th
Slot armor; Price 20,375 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description

The rugged leaves used to create this +2 darkleaf studded leather seem to always be rustling, even without wind. Half of them are coated with alchemical silver, replacing bulky standard studs without sacrificing protection for the wearer.

Twice per day, as a standard action, the armor can be commanded to unravel and explode into a 20-foot high stationary cyclone of leaves, metal, and severe wind (Core Rulebook, pg. 439). Each 5-foot square adjacent to the user becomes occupied by the swirling cyclone. With a successful DC 16 Reflex save, a creature can avoid being caught in the initial burst and jump into a safe, adjacent empty square. This movement does not provoke attacks of opportunity.

A creature within any space the cyclone occupies is immediately blinded and dealt 1d10+2 points of slashing damage. This damage also counts as magic and silver for the purposes of overcoming damage reduction. As long as the creature stays inside the cyclone, it remains blinded and continues to take this damage at the beginning of each of its turns.

As the cyclone rages, treat the user as if he is not wearing the armor, though his armor slot is still occupied. Any attacks with melee weapons passing into or through the cyclone’s winds are treated as though the target has concealment (20% miss chance). An active cyclone can be maintained as a free action for up to six rounds, but it immediately and harmlessly disperses when the user’s body moves into it.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, blur, cloak of winds (Advanced Player's Guide); Cost 10,575 gp

Cyclonic Darkleaf

The Good: I had the chance to workshop your item allot, because you are on my crew. I am a fan of your special material choice and leaf theme. They description is very cool.

The Bad: Slashing damage is a bit of an odd choice, I know it is the studs of the armour from which this damage comes, Bludgeoning damage would make more sense IMO.

The Ugly: While I like the ascetic of the item, there is some SiaC here. Some additional playing with spell mechanics and effects may have taken this item to the next level. Wind is a very flexible effect, and there is room to take more advantage of that here.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Auric Hush
Aura faint necromancy; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 27,001 gp; Weight -

Description
This old azlanti coin is blemished and stained from age and exposure to various substances. On one side is the face of a man with a jagged X carved over his mouth, and on the other is a stylized magpie.
When held on the tongue the wearer can make a melee touch attack to steal the voice of another. The target must make a DC 14 Will save or lose the ability to speak, cast spells with verbal components, or activate command word items. Only one voice can be stolen in this manner at any time.

The target remains mute until such time as the wearer of the Auric Hush removes the coin from their tongue, speaks, casts a spell with a verbal component, or makes some other audible exhalation. Should the wearer take damage of any kind, they must make a Fortitude save (with a DC equivalent to 10 + the damage taken) or inadvertently make a sound and release the voice of their victim.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bestow curse; Cost 13,501 gp

Auric Hush

The Good: Solid campaign reference, interesting visual for the coin.

The Bad: The power of the item are pretty harsh when the target fails, but the save DC is low enough that those who really do NOT want to suffer this items effects likely will not (casting types including bards, etc)

The Ugly: I personally feel this is suffering from a decent amount of SiaC, despite the clever limits and situational effects. Also pretty costly for what it does.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Teeth of the White Death
Aura Strong Transmutation; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.

Description
This item appears as a coral necklace with five Great White Shark teeth attached to it. These teeth can be activated with a command, producing the listed effect, but each tooth can be only used once. After a tooth is used, it shatters.

A Ripple in the Water: Detaching this tooth centers a aura of fear on the wearer as though fear (30 ft., DC17) had been cast.

Jaws of the White: When detached, this tooth transforms the wearer's mouth into a double row of razor sharp teeth. Wearer gains a Bite +9 attack (2d8+10 plus bleed (1d6)).

Killer Vision: When detached, this tooth transforms the wearer's eyes black. Wearer gains Blindsense 30 ft.

Fleet of Fin: When detached, this tooth allows the wearer to gain a Swim Speed of 60 ft.

Shedding Skin: When detached, this tooth allows the wearer to gain Fast Healing 3.

Each of the abilities gained lasts for 1d6 hours. Necklace regrows teeth at the rate of 1 per day.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, fear, touch of the sea, echolocation; Cost 5,000 gp

Teeth of the White Death

The Good: Shark theme up the wazoo, and to be fair, sharks are awesome, good call in choice of theme animal.

The Bad: Description could have been much more compelling, and not a fan of using the "This item appears as", it just eats up word count, it is better to just tell the reader then to preface descriptions in this manner.

The Ugly: Water campaign SAK, pretty cheap for the amount of powers it gives. Alas the water theme also holds the item back from appealing to a wider audience.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Hell’s Restraints
Aura moderate evocation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 21,100 gp; Weight 25 lbs.

Description
Loosely hanging chains harvested from slain kytons rise up from this +2 adamantine chain shirt, like snakes sensing prey.

Once per day as a standard action, the wearer can release a cacophonous howl that causes chains to snake out from the armor in a 15-foot burst. The wearer can make a grapple combat maneuver check using his own CMB with a +2 enhancement bonus against up to four creatures of his size or smaller in the area. If the grapple maneuver is successful, the wearer may also reposition his targets by 5 feet as a free action. The wearer of hell’s restraints does not gain the grappled condition while the chains grapple his targets. The wearer is tethered to the grappled creatures and cannot move farther than 15 feet away from each grappled creature. The chains have a CMD of 29, hardness 20 and 5 hp. Broken chains have no effect on the armor and reform magically. The chains maintain their grapple for one round, after which they recoil back into the armor.

The wearer of hell’s restraints may also awaken the chains as a standard action to manipulate objects at a reach of 15 feet, and grant himself a climb speed of 20 feet for 5 rounds each day. These rounds do not need to be consecutive.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, chain of perdition, spider climb; Cost 10,550 gp

Hell’s Restraints

The Good: Kytons are freaking cool and scary, good choice in theme basing the item off of said creature

The Bad: The name just does not do it for me, when I say the name, I expected a spiked chain or manacles, not a chain shirt, though I get the logic behind the name.

The Ugly: Grappling armour has been done before, in a number of variations. I think this item suffers some from the "seen it" issue. I guess I was wanting something more clever and new than just grappling chains with a creepy spider climb.

Scarab Sages

Thanks Jeff! Definitely valid points.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Lookouts Lucky Buckler
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 5800 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
The buckler gleams in metallic swirls as weaving threads of the night sky shine in the darkness with the echoes of the dead faintly whispering from beyond.

Crafted in the memory of many fallen adventurers by a vagrant band of bards, a lookouts lucky buckler functions as a +1 steel buckler.

Once per day when the wearer has detected the location of a trap he may move the trap, as a standard action, to any square within a 10-foot radius of the trap. The range of moving the trap increases by 5 feet for every +3 enhancement bonus beyond +1 of the buckler. The new destination of the trap must be on solid ground, and the trap cannot end in a space that is by nature hazardous or is incapable of containing the trap. When the trap is moved its Perception check is decreased by -5 as the trap no longer holds most of its original camouflage. The wearer gains an additional use of this ability upon the buckler reaching an enchantment bonus of +5, and again at a +10 enchantment bonus overall.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armour, jester’s jaunt; Cost 2900 gp

Lookouts Lucky Buckler

The Good: You went with a function that shields generally don't have, and avoided the standard shield tropes.

The Bad: The name, IMO, is taking alliteration to far, and item has some minor formatting errors.

The Ugly: It could be said that is item is as rogue replacement, which is not generally seen as a good thing.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Face of the Kraken
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot head; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.

Description
This black leather mask covers the lower half of the face, and the area around the mouth is stylized to look like short tentacles. When the mask is worn, tentacles extend to chest length and start squirming. The wearer can use the tentacles to carry an object. He cannot wield weapons with the tentacles, but the tentacles allow him to retrieve an item carried on his person or grab an item from the ground as a swift action. The wearer can grapple with the tentacles without penalty even while the wearer’s hands are full, but he cannot do that while carrying an object in the tentacles. Three times a day as a standard action, the wearer can extend the tentacles to a length of 15 feet and use them to attempt a reposition combat maneuver at that range. Additionally, the mask also allows the wearer to breath underwater (as water breathing). The wearer can eat and drink while wearing the mask through the beak at the center of the tentacles.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, black tentacles, water breathing; Cost 4,000 gp

Face of the Kraken

The Good: The Kraken theme is well represented.

The Bad: Used up word count to mention eating and drinking through a beak, while it makes sense, we do not need to know that fact, and it adds nothing to the item per say.

The Ugly: There are many ways to accomplish what your item does already, some easy and open to most characters, others not. I guess I was looking for something more than enhanced prehensile hair.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Watch of Borrowed Time
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 11,000 gp; Weight -

Description
This hunter-case pocket watch is tarnished with age and the case’s emboss is scarred beyond recognition. Inside of the case is an engraving that reads “Progress now, progress forever”. Even when not wound, the watch produces a gentle tick-tock that can only be heard in complete stillness.

Once per day on command, the hunter-case springs open and the hands of the watch begin spinning wildly as two long, illusory clock hands stretch out beneath you. These phantasmal hour and minute hands last for 1 minute and revolve clockwise under you, until you, as a move action that provokes attacks of opportunity, designate two squares adjacent to you for them to point towards. A creature occupying the square that the hour hand indicates must make a DC 14 Will save or become staggered as it is syphoned of its perception of time. Additionally, if that creature fails its saving throw, a creature occupying the square the minute hand indicates receives the first creature’s “stolen time” and gains an extra movement action on their next turn.

If no creature occupies the square that the minute hand indicates, this additional effect is lost as the excess time creates a brief, yet violent, temporal shudder. If a single creature occupies both squares indicated by the hands and fails its save, the creature’s stolen time is immediately returned to it. However, its rapidly shifting sense of time causes it to become sickened. As a move action that provokes attacks of opportunity, you can realign the positions of both clock hands to point toward different squares. These hands pivot and move with you as their fulcrum.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, haste, slow, minor image; Cost 5,400 gp

Watch of Borrowed Time

The Good: The description of your item is both intricate and interesting.

The Bad: Taking action economy from one creature and giving it to another sets off alarm bells for me.

The Ugly: This is a time item, plain and simple, and that is dangerous territory. Also, while executed reasonably, a watch that manipulates time IMO is just not that inspired, I hate to say it, but I could see this coming a mile away, and just feels like a trope to me.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Chameleon Shield
Aura moderate illusion; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 10,114 gp; Weight 10 lbs.

Description
This +1 heavy wooden shield is painted and carved with the likeness of a chameleon lizard. After being stationary for one move action, the shield changes color and texture to blend in with the environment giving concealment to its bearer. Three times per day, after being activated and stationary for a full round, it covers the bearer with an illusion of the surrounding environment granting total concealment as long as the user is still or moves at half speed or less. Attacking and spell casting with somatic or verbal components and any other normal or faster motion negates these effects.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, woodshape, hide campsite; Cost 5,157 gp

Chameleon Shield

The Good: Clever use of the requirement spells.

The Bad: Full concealment is pretty nasty, I would have wanted a disbelieve save personally. Also you used only half the available word count.

The Ugly: Well this is a decent item, and clearly states how it works, it is also very obvious. I find myself wanting more, something unexpected and different, and I just don't get that here.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Needlenose Arbalest
Aura strong transmutation; CL 14th
Slot none; Price 51,050 gp; Weight 12 lbs.

Description
This sculpture of a monstrously articulated mosquito functions as a +2 impervious heavy crossbow, gaining the seeking special ability when targeting creatures with the bleed condition or who are below half their full hit points.

Once per week, the wielder may speak a command word to launch the mosquito's head at a foe within 50 feet as a ranged touch attack. The head remains connected by a length of rope stored within the crossbow. As part of the weapon, the rope benefits from the enhancement bonus and impervious special ability.

A successful hit deals normal damage and 1 point of bleed damage and the wielder can attempt a combat maneuver check to grapple the target as a free action. Each round the wielder successfully maintains the grapple, the target is pulled 10 feet closer to the wielder and dealt 1 additional point of bleed damage. This movement does not provoke.

If the wielder begins their turn adjacent to the target and successfully pins them, they may drop the crossbow as it animates into a giant mosquito (see the Pathfinder RPG Bestiary 2), but without the disease special ability. The wielder is no longer grappled as the mosquito is now pinning the target. The mosquito acts on the wielder's next initiative, feeding on the pinned target. The mosquito reverts to its crossbow form once the grapple ends, the target is killed, or it deals 8 points of constitution damage, whichever comes first. If slain while animated, the mosquito reverts to crossbow form and may not be animated for a full month.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bleed, blood scent, fabricate, make whole, true seeing, vermin shape II; Cost 25,700 gp

Needlenose Arbalest

The Good: I can safely say I have never seen something akin to this crossbow before, and that is saying something given 25 years of gaming.

The Bad: I get the logic behind having seeking only functions under certain circumstances, I would have preferred it function as intended, as we pay for the full use, but do not get it.

The Ugly: There is such a thing as taking a theme a bit too far, and alas I feel that happens here.

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Jeff Harris 982 wrote:
Cyclonic Darkleaf GBU

Thanks a lot, Jeff! ^.^

I went with slashing because I pictured the silver leaves to have sharp, slashy edges (Probably should have alluded to that in the description.)

Also, nowhere did I view it to be anything like a Spell-in-a-Can. It's good that you pointed that out as it seems to be another blind spot I was unaware of. Thank you!

Admittedly, in my own eyes, my Cyclonic Darkleaf was so star-spangled awesome I felt it could do no wrong. And I know this is not the attitude of a professional designer. Looks like I still have work to do! ;D

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Wing of the Night Monarch
Aura moderate enchantment and evocation; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 16,305 gp; Weight -

Description
The gossamer silk of this +1 fighting fan portrays the resplendent wing patterns of Desna’s Night Monarch. Its ivory guard sticks bearing eight stars.

Once per round, the wielder activates the fan as a ranged attack with maximum range 60 feet. A star is consumed as a butterfly of divine light is released at the target. On a hit it melds with the target dealing 1d6 points of holy damage (critical threat on a 20, x3 damage), otherwise it dissipates harmlessly. The dizzying flight of the butterfly grants a feint check as a free action against the target, the result affecting the butterfly attack only.

Wielding a second fan permits activation of a second star simultaneously with the first. Attacking the same target grants a single feint check with a +4 circumstance bonus applying the result to both attacks.

If both attacks hit, the target is subject to a waking dream unless they succeed a Will save (DC 16) becoming immune to this effect for 24 hours regardless of the save result. If the target fails the save, they dream of acting normally on their next action but instead take no action. The target is aware of their surroundings and is not defenseless. This is a mind-affecting effect.

Should the wielder have multiple attacks per round, butterfly attacks are made with their first attack - they are able to wield fans normally for any remaining attacks.

Expended stars regenerate overnight. Stars expended during the night do not regenerate until the following night.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, daze monster, spiritual weapon, creator must worship Desna; Cost 8,305 gp

Wing of the Night Monarch

The Good: Fighting fan, I also considered submitting one, I am glad you did submit one, they are under appreciated as a whole, and you did them jutice. Also love the name.

The Bad: Desna, I hate to say it, but I wish you have avoided her mention here. I get the logic, it is totally appropriate and all, but the item stands fine without her, and invoking her invites muttering of trope and seen it, which this item does not deserve.

The Ugly: The required first attack be a ranged attack hurt this item, I like the power, but the option to not be forced to use it would have been good here IMO. Also requiring Desna worshipper to create just reinforces the all butterfly are Desna issue.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Vudrani Fighting Rope
Aura faint transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 4,310 gp; Weight i lb.

Description
Members of the many Vudrani monastic orders popularized the use of this 8 foot length of thick silk rope that moves and twists of its own accord as it attempts to entangle the enemy. A combatant wields a Vudrani fighting rope as a two-handed exotic melee weapon with the performance and trip qualities. This enchanted rope is a magic weapon with a +1 enhancement bonus, however standard melee attacks deal no damage. Assisting an ally with an aid another action is possible, and the wielder still threatens squares within reach.

When making a disarm or trip combat maneuver with a Vudrani fighting rope the wielder gains a +2 circumstance bonus. Additionally the wielder may attempt a grapple combat maneuver using the rope without incurring the -4 penalty for not having two free hands. This still provokes an attack of opportunity unless the wielder has improved disarm, improved grapple, improved trip or a similar ability. When maintaining a grapple with the rope, if the wielder chooses to deal damage he may deal 1d6+1 and ½ times his Strength bonus in either lethal or nonlethal damage. After pinning an opponent with a Vudrani fighting rope the wielder may tie up the opponent with the rope as a move action without making an additional grapple check.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, animate rope; Cost 2,310 gp

Vudrani Fighting Rope

The Good: I liked this item, very neat idea, very flavourful and thematically tight.

The Bad: The rope cannot deal any damage as a weapon wihtout grappling, while I get the idea, I would want my fighting rope to be able to deal some damage at least outside of the maneuver.

The Ugly: The rope does not offer us anything beyond its combat maneuver abilities, I guess I am looking for a wow factor that elevates this item, and I just didn't get it. It is a solid item, but did not take enough chances regarding said wow factor.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Armor of the Sun
Aura Moderate Evocation; CL 7th
Slot armor; Price 17,500 gp gp; Weight 50 lbs.

Description
This +1 Fire-Forged Full Plate armor has a dull golden aura that ripples across its steel plates, but otherwise appears like a normal suit of Full Plate.

Once a day, the armor can be activated with a magical incantation to explode into bright illuminations. The burst of light blinds anyone within a 10-foot radius of the user for 1d4 rounds, or dazzles for 1d4 rounds if they make a reflex save (DC 12). If an Evil character is caught in the burst, they take 5d4 damage whether or not they pass the reflex save. After the initial Burst of Radiance, the armor is surrounded by an aura of red and orange flames for 7 rounds. The flames radiate the area within a 5-foot radius around the wearer. All characters that make a melee attack or move into a threatened zone against the wearer while active take 2d6 points of fire damage and catches aflame, or halved if succeeding in a reflex save (DC 14) and avoids catching on fire. The damage from catching on fire does not stack if the character is damaged by the aura of flames multiple times.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Burst of Radiance, Elemental Aura; Cost 8.750 gp

Armor of the Sun

The Good: Good choice using fire-forged steel.

The Bad: There are a number of formatting errors in this item, and armor is not an item slot.

The Ugly: SiaC is indeed a concern here, also, the "looks like normal full plate" as a description feels like a cop-out, I am the sort of voter and 3pp publisher who likes to see the item in my mind's eye, and nothing grabs reading more than a compelling and interesting description, think of it as your bait, the more tasty it looks, the most fish you catch.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Ichaival, The Bow of Ydalir
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 12th
Slot Weapon; Price 51,600 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
A Crafting collaboration by the Shaman and Wizards of the Tribes for Ydalir Álfrvinr. A mythic figure and ally of the Snowcaster Tribes in the north of Golarion Ydalir was an ancient King of the Land of the Linnorm Kings. This Adaptive Composite Longbow +2 is made from the Laminated Talons of the Fjord linnorm Fraenir , ice troll sinew, Irrisen Witch-Tree wood layered with frost giant bone, and Inlaid with cold iron glyphs and runes. Due to the magic imbued into the ice troll sinew this weapon adapts itself to the strength of its wielder and the shamanic magic taping into the spirits of the Dragons and Land in which it was made empower the arrows to strike as if one size category larger.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Warp wood, Bull's Strength, Gravity Bow, Righteous Might or Giant Form I Cost 25800 gp

Ichaival, The Bow of Ydalir

The Good: You clearly could see your item in your own mind's eye, and shared that vision with us.

The Bad: Way, way, way too much backstory, you use a good portion of your word count telling us the who, where, and what. It is the item that needs to shine, not it's maker, it's country of origin, or the hero who first used it.

The Ugly: I have to be blunt, all this bow does is give us a constant gravity bow effect as its new and interesting power. Is it a good power to have, sure, I love that spell. Would I pay 51k for a bow that only does that, no. You would have been better served using all that word count used up by back story to provide this bow with unique and interesting abilities.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Rebel Mask
Aura faint divination and illusion (glamer); CL 3rd
Slot head; Price 4320 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
Favored by law-defying citizens, rebels, and dissenters, the rebel mask proves useful against enforcers of rigid regimes. Once per day, when activated, this item grants the wearer invisibility as per the spell against creatures with the Lawful alignment descriptor.
These masks come in many variations, though they have often been called Larazod Masks. It is speculated that the original Larazod Mask was created by Wiscrani dissenters who sought to re-enact a subversive version of the play known as the Six Trials of Larazod. When an underground version of the play was disrupted by Hellknights, the masked actors scattered into the crowd, suddenly invisible to authoritarian eyes. Since then, rebel masks with other unique powers have begun appearing throughout Cheliax, each crafted to resemble characters from other famous operas and plays; almost all of them, however, retain the useful ability to suddenly vanish from the view of law-enforcers.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detect law, invisibility; Cost2,160 gp

Rebel Mask

The Good: Full of Golarion goodness, you clearly know a thing or two bout the world.

The Bad: Too much back story, and you fell into the "favoured by" trap. Also minor formatting errors.

The Ugly: When we get down to brass tax here, all we get is situational invisibility. Useful, sure, inspired and full of wow factor, alas, no.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Thieves’ Honor
Aura moderate evocation and illusion; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 39,902 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
Faint tracery on this dark, twisted knife subtly shifts to form fearsome images from the subconscious minds of those who look upon it. Silver gleams along its edge.

On command, this +2 menacing dagger creates a duplicate blade made of silvery force. This blade lasts for 10 rounds per day. These rounds do not need to be consecutive. You can dismiss the duplicate as a free action.

When you attack with Thieves’ Honor, the duplicate blade moves adjacent to the target of your attack (flanking, if possible), then attacks. This occurs before your attack is resolved. If you have allies threatening the target, you may direct the duplicate to flank with them instead. The duplicate uses your base attack bonus modified by its enhancement bonus and the higher of either your Intelligence or Charisma bonus, but does not gain iterative attacks. On a hit, the duplicate does 1d4+2 points of force damage and does an extra 2d6 points of precision force damage against a target that is denied its Dexterity bonus to AC or one that it flanks. It has the same critical threat range and multiplier as a normal dagger. In addition, if either you or the duplicate blade confirm a critical hit, the target provokes an attack of opportunity from the other.

The duplicate blade cannot be harmed by physical attacks, but dispel magic, disintegrate, a sphere of annihilation, or a rod of cancellation affects it. The duplicate’s AC against touch attacks is 12 plus your Dexterity modifier.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Outlfank, phantasmal killer, twilight knife; Cost 20,102 gp

Thieves’ Honor

The Good: Daggers are my favourite weapon, both in game and RL, you got my vote often because of this fact alone. Also your description is quite good.

The Bad: I would have wanted Dexterity as an option for my to hit bonus for the duplicate, rogues clearly love this dagger, they deserve to put it to the best use they can.

The Ugly: I get somewhat of a SiaC feel, good spells and useful effects to be sure, but the item neither surprises me with a clever twist or a hardcore wow factor.

Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Jeff Harris 982 wrote:


Rebel Mask

The Ugly: When we get down to brass tax here, all we get is situational invisibility. Useful, sure, inspired and full of wow factor, alas, no.

So ...

...I get what you're saying about whether or not the item feels superstar. But when you're saying the situational invisibility is not inspired and full of wow?

Okay, on a literal basis I agree, but the tone of it makes it sound like you're not just doing a dipstick check that might go something like, "Full? No. but you're down barely a half quart, don't worry about it."

If you're intent is to say that there is no "wow" there, I'm going to disagree. For me the wow factor didn't show up when I considered individuals using it.

Then I considered **groups** using it.

Then I considered using detect alignment and isolating a single lawful character ...and making the character look deranged, crazy for not seeing people who were in the room.

It's not something that lends itself to combat bonuses. It's something that lends itself to foresight, planning, role-play, and teamwork.

And by having it cost 4k, it's possible to acquire several of these long enough for a useful plan to come together.

Your review is your review, but I tend to like those items that demand role-play. While it's easy to add up the number of times you roll a d20 and thus it's easy to have a sense of the usefulness of something that provides a discrete bonus, i'd give the masks more credit.

Of course, then it's on the designer to use the backstory better. If you're going to use backstory here, why not give us an example of just how off-the-hook amazing these things can be? What was the most legendary accomplishment. JeffHarris982 is right that people are going to **perceive** the masks as useless. With so much backstory, the most famous, the most legendary example is that some people scattering from the cops got away?

You're setting people up to accept the uselessness presumption.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

1 person marked this as a favorite.
CripDyke wrote:
Jeff Harris 982 wrote:


Rebel Mask

The Ugly: When we get down to brass tax here, all we get is situational invisibility. Useful, sure, inspired and full of wow factor, alas, no.

So ...

...I get what you're saying about whether or not the item feels superstar. But when you're saying the situation invisibility is not inspired and full of wow?

For the record you skipped a good item description which helps us visualize and like the item more. The mechanical effect is a spell-in a can with a secondary spell effect alteration twist. If you're going to do that you have to pull off one hell of a description (see Gown of Many Graves or maybe this Gorget of Living Whispers.) If I strip out your second paragraph which accounts for 2/3rds of your word count the item remains unchanged. Also, making a spell effect more situational isn't a very GOOD twist.

Jeff was being kind... The core issue with your item is that it's almost all back story and it's off putting back-story at that. Remember not everyone drinks the Golorian Kool-Aid and magic items generally go an order of magnitude lighter on the lore then this; unless the item is in an AP. Quite frankly it's far easier for a voter to down vote this then it is to take the effort to understand why it's cool. It's like how a joke isn't funny if you have to explain it.

Edit: auto correct..

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Kerney wrote:


Soul Brew Barrel

If you already posted it in the CMI thread, don't post it here. He will get to you when he gets to you, as he is using the CMI thread as his queue.

Seriously, this is, like, the third time I'm saying this. (Not meaning to sound rude, but come on.)

Sovereign Court Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Card Game, Companion, Lost Omens, Pathfinder Accessories, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Some folk have trouble reading.

Shadow Lodge Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9

Brigg wrote:
Kerney wrote:


Soul Brew Barrel

If you already posted it in the CMI thread, don't post it here. He will get to you when he gets to you, as he is using the CMI thread as his queue.

Seriously, this is, like, the third time I'm saying this. (Not meaning to sound rude, but come on.)

Gotcha, deleted. Note, I think a lot of people (like me) were not reading through the thread beforehand, just getting their item 'in line'. Therefore you'll probably have to say it again.

Not offended, hope you are not either, take care.

Liberty's Edge Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Jeff Harris 982 wrote:

armor is not an item slot.

Actually, much to my dismay, I recently discovered that the specific magic armors in the CRB do use the "armor" slot :-/

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Gorgon Sinew Lariat
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 65,0000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
These leather gloves have an image of a crumpled spellbook on their palms. The gloves control spells cast by the wearer that have any duration other than instantaneous or permanent twice a day. The activation time for the gloves is the same as the spell they wish to hold, with a minimum of 1 standard action. Only one spell can be held by the gloves at a time.

This control acts like holding a charge, the spell's duration can be released in the same intervals listed in the spell's description. For example invisibility has a duration of 1 min./level; a 5th level wizard casting it and holding the charge with the gloves can become invisible for five 1 minute intervals divided as he/she chooses until the spell's full duration is used up or lost.

The wearer can cast spells normally while holding a charge with these gloves if they succeed at a concentration check with a DC equal to the spells DC + spell level; failure harmlessly discharges the held spell regardless of the remaining duration. The wearer cannot cast a spell and release an interval of charge on the same round.

If the spell being held by the gloves allows multiple touch targets, you can't hold the charge of such a spell; you must touch all targets of the spell in the same round that you finish casting the spell. During the wearers turn the held spell can be released as a standard action; acting as it were cast normally with its remaining duration.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, imbue with spell ability; Cost 32,500 gp

Gorgon Sinew Lariat

The Good: Really neat idea, well executed, anyone with spells can put these little beauties to many a noble or nefarious use.

The Bad: See "The Good" there is a reverse side to this, I suspect that given sufficient thought, I could also make my GM cry hard using these. Not always a bad thing, but something to think about.

The Ugly: Some spells likely get far more powerful when you can cut the duration up as needed.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

@The Black Raven I believe that was an old format, but yeah, funny how that works..;)

But I need to take a break, not even through page one of the CMI thread.

Stay tuned for more critiques coming this weekend.

Sovereign Court Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Jeff Harris 982 wrote:

Gorgon Sinew Lariat

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 65,0000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Got the name wrong on this item, not sure what it is supposed to be, but my item got critiqued above.

Dark Archive Marathon Voter Season 9

Jeff Harris 982 wrote:

The Bad: Used up word count to mention eating and drinking through a beak, while it makes sense, we do not need to know that fact, and it adds nothing to the item per say.

The Ugly: There are many ways to accomplish what your item does already, some easy and open to most characters, others not. I guess I was looking for something more than enhanced prehensile hair.

Yay, feedback!

Yeah, I was kinda regretting that ^^; I added that to make it clear you can still drink potions and stuff while wearing it, but I later realized "Wait a minute, nothing in rules says you can't eat and drink while wearing helmet/mask" xP Still, I think it worked as flavor text kinda thing, but yeah it was pretty pointless.

Hmm okay =/ You mean even besides the prehensile tail like ability, my item had nothing really unique about it?

Liberty's Edge Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
Kigvan wrote:
Jeff Harris 982 wrote:

Gorgon Sinew Lariat

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 65,0000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Got the name wrong on this item, not sure what it is supposed to be, but my item got critiqued above.

Gloves of spell grip I think

Silver Crusade Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Jar of Captured Nightmares

Marathon Voter Season 9

frank gori wrote:
CripDyke wrote:
Jeff Harris 982 wrote:


Rebel Mask

The Ugly: When we get down to brass tax here, all we get is situational invisibility. Useful, sure, inspired and full of wow factor, alas, no.

So ...

...I get what you're saying about whether or not the item feels superstar. But when you're saying the situation invisibility is not inspired and full of wow?

For the record you skipped a good item description which helps us visualize and like the item more. The mechanical effect is a spell-in a can with a secondary spell effect alteration twist. If you're going to do that you have to pull off one hell of a description (see Gown of Many Graves or maybe this Gorget of Living Whispers.) If I strip out your second paragraph which accounts for 2/3rds of your word count the item remains unchanged. Also, making a spell effect more situational isn't a very GOOD twist.

Jeff was being kind... The core issue with your item is that it's almost all back story and it's off putting back-story at that. Remember not everyone drinks the Golorian Kool-Aid and magic items generally go an order of magnitude lighter on the lore then this; unless the item is in an AP. Quite frankly it's far easier for a voter to down vote this then it is to take the effort to understand why it's cool. It's like how a joke isn't funny if you have to explain it.

Edit: auto correct..

The rebels mask was one of my very favourate items this year.

I will totally be yoinking it.

I don't know the golarion specifics, but it fits very neatly with a whole class of awesome that includes the guardians of the veil from Mage the Awakening, V for Vendetta, and Venice, without being nearly as dull as most mask items.

In short, it is a simple, clean and cool idea, well executed, that to the best of my knowledge no one else has done. To me, that is the essence of superstar. I think it is a real pity this didn't make it to the top 32

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

gahhh blast you internetz, that last critique should not have been posted, (that is my template, just so happens that gorgon sinew lariat is the template place holder), sorry bout that guys, correct and new critiques, starting with Gloves of Spell Grip coming today and tomorrow.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Re-posting Gloves of Spell Grip done correctly, sorry bout that!

Gloves of Spell Grip
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 15th
Slot hands; Price 65,0000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
These leather gloves have an image of a crumpled spellbook on their palms. The gloves control spells cast by the wearer that have any duration other than instantaneous or permanent twice a day. The activation time for the gloves is the same as the spell they wish to hold, with a minimum of 1 standard action. Only one spell can be held by the gloves at a time.

This control acts like holding a charge, the spell's duration can be released in the same intervals listed in the spell's description. For example invisibility has a duration of 1 min./level; a 5th level wizard casting it and holding the charge with the gloves can become invisible for five 1 minute intervals divided as he/she chooses until the spell's full duration is used up or lost.

The wearer can cast spells normally while holding a charge with these gloves if they succeed at a concentration check with a DC equal to the spells DC + spell level; failure harmlessly discharges the held spell regardless of the remaining duration. The wearer cannot cast a spell and release an interval of charge on the same round.

If the spell being held by the gloves allows multiple touch targets, you can't hold the charge of such a spell; you must touch all targets of the spell in the same round that you finish casting the spell. During the wearers turn the held spell can be released as a standard action; acting as it were cast normally with its remaining duration.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, animate rope, calcific touch, clairaudience/clairvoyance; Cost 32,500 gp

Gloves of Spell Grip

The Good: Really neat idea, well executed, anyone with spells can put these little beauties to many a noble or nefarious use.

The Bad: See "The Good" there is a reverse side to this, I suspect that given sufficient thought, I could also make my GM cry hard using these. Not always a bad thing, but something to think about.

The Ugly: Some spells likely get far more powerful when you can cut the duration up as needed.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Twin Star Breastplate
Aurastrong transmutation; CL 13th
Slotarmor; Price 42,110 gp; Weight 30 lbs.

Description

Two glowing circles slowly orbit each other on this +3 breastplate. When activated, once per day as a standard action, the circles collide and form a black void, generating a gravitational pulse. All creatures and unattached objects in a 60-foot radius are immediately pulled up to 30 feet closer to the wearer.

Affected creatures can remain stationary as per the reverse gravity spell with a DC 20 Reflex save.

One allied creature that shares a teamwork feat with the wearer can then perform a single standard action to take advantage of the battlefield’s new layout. Only one ally can choose to act. If more than one allies are eligible then the one with the highest initiative modifier, rolling for ties, chooses first.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, reverse gravity, any teamwork feat; Cost 21,230 gp

Twin Star Breastplate

The Good: Teamwork feats are nice, I like when folks PC's are rewarded for using them.

The Bad: The description falls really flat for me.

The Ugly: I see the intent and the use, but I get no wow vibe at all.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Stormleaper’s Greaves
Auramoderate evocation and transmutation; CL 10th
Slotfeet; Price 26,000gp; Weight 4 lbs.

Description
This pair of weathered bronze greaves is made from hundreds of small, dripping leaves fused together in homage to Gozreh. The wearer of Stormleaper’s Greaves can harness the power of the storm, leaping through the sky with hurricane force.

Once per day, the wearer may stormleap for up to ten rounds, bounding through the air as if from stone to stone. A stormleaper gains the ability to fly with a speed of 60 feet but the wearer uses their acrobatics skill in place of the fly skill to perform daring or complex aerial maneuvers. While stormleaping, the wearer is continuously surrounded by a thunderous aura, dealing 1d8 points of sonic damage to any creature within 5 feet unless they succeed at a DC 16 Fortitude save, though a creature may only take this damage once per round. A stormleap ends immediately once the wearer’s feet touch a solid surface.

Once during a stormleap, the wearer may use a standard action to send the furious storm at a single target beneath their feet, dealing 5d6 points of electricity damage unless the target succeeds at a DC 16 Reflex save.

When used outdoors during a storm, Stormleaper’s Greaves become significantly more potent, dealing 2d8 sonic damage instead of 1d8, and 5d10 electricity damage instead of 5d6.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, fly, call lightning, sound burst; Cost 13,000gp

Stormleaper’s Greaves

The Good: You stuck to the storm theme strongly, and I like the use of sonic damage.

The Bad: Stormleaping IMO should only work in storms, natural or otherwise, leapfrog in a thunderstorm is a cool visual. Fly however is just fly, If you call it stormleaping, It needs to be jumping for me, not normal flight.

The Ugly: Blasting foes with lightning while cool, is not something I see boots doing, sure, they are stormy themed and magic does allot, but this sort of power stretches my buying into the item.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Wily Mace
Auramoderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slotnone; Price 72,312 gp; Weight 8 lbs.

Description

This +3 heavy mace has five flanges on the iron head and a wooden shaft with elaborately floriated carvings that emit a faint green glow. When held by its leathery hilt, the weapon feels cold.

As a swift action, the wielder can cause the flanged head to become gradually hotter and then cool off in a cycle lasting for 7 rounds, as if affected by the heat metal spell. The cycle will repeat itself perpetually until deactivated using another swift action. However, it must cool off completely before being heated again.

When used like this in combat, the mace deals 1 additional point of damage if it's hot, or 2 additional points if it's searing. If the weapon is searing on a successful critical hit, the target suffers an extra 3d6 points of fire damage, while everyone adjacent to it must make a DC 16 reflex save or take half, as the burst sends small pieces of molten metal in every direction. Following this powerful blast there is a 50% chance of the heat metal spell being cast on one metallic piece of the target's equipment (Will DC 18 negates).

The heat or fire coming from the mace does not harm the wielder.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, heat metal, resist energy, flaming sphere; Cost 36,312 gp

Wily Mace

The Good: Mace was a good base item choice, interesting take on fire dmg with molten metal.

The Bad: The burst power affects all creatures when it works, so sometimes allies are going to get a little toasted. The name just does not mesh with the item theme IMO. Also using resist energy to ensure wield takes no dmg is not needed, the precedent for wielder is immune exists currently w/out additional requirements.

The Ugly: Mechanically this is very close to flaming burst, except the damage is less, and works out to be more costly. I would have granted the RAW fire dmg of heat metal rather than nerfing it, and gone with something else besides AoE dmg on crit.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Zeitgeist Coin
Aurafaint abjuration and transmutation; CL 3rd
Slotnone; Price 10,500 gp; Weight -

Description

This large gold coin feels much heavier in the hand then it should, and it gleams like it was just freshly minted. Struck on its faces are the appropriate markings for the nation or city-state that contains the settlement it is attuned to; these markings change in a flash if the coin is re-attuned. When held, the bearer occasionally catches impressions of the attuned settlement, such as a whiff of baking bread from a local baker or the sound of a popular tune being played.

After spending one week in a settlement, the bearer may attune the Zeitgeist Coin to that settlement, thereby removing the attunement to any previous settlement. Once attuned, the bearer of the coin may use the settlement modifiers (Crime, Economy, etc.) of the attuned settlement for skill checks in the place of the settlement modifiers of any settlement they visit. Furthermore, the bearer is under the effect of a constant misdirection effect that targets an average member of the attuned settlement. For practical purposes, this means that the bearer’s alignment appears to match the attuned settlement’s alignment.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, misdirection, cultural adaptation; Cost 5.250 gp

Zeitgeist Coin

The Good: Kingdom building is an interesting design space, not many items every touch upon it.

The Bad: Perhaps I am confused but doesn't the bearer of the coin have to be in a position of import within any given settlement they visit to use the benefits, if they are not the ruler, they would not be making any of those checks.

The Ugly: Your design niche IMO is very small, normally the wider the scope of any item, the better it does, I think you hurt your chances some working in such a specific niche.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Pendant of Hidden Malice
Aura moderate enchantment and illusion; CL 10th
Slot neck; Price 29,000 gp; Weight -

Description
This heavy gold amulet depicts a lidded eye embedded in the palm of an open left hand. When the wearer activates the item, the lid opens, revealing a black, opalescent stone veined with crimson and amber. While the eye remains open, the wearer is invisible, as greater invisibility. Each round, the wearer can maintain this invisibility as a free action. When the wearer allows the invisibility to end, or if the invisibility is dispelled, the eye immediately closes. The magic of the amulet can be used for 10 rounds per day. These rounds need not be consecutive.

Should a creature view the wearer while the eye is open, via see invisibility, true seeing, or similar effects, the viewer is beset by ill fortune and must roll twice, taking the worse result, on all ability checks, attack rolls, saving throws, and skill checks it attempts while the open eye is in sight. This is a mind-affecting curse effect that can only be avoided by closing or averting the eyes, as a viewer would a gaze attack. Effects that merely outline the wearer, such as glitterdust and faerie fire, do not trigger this curse, nor do non-visual senses, such as blindsight.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, greater invisibility, ill omen; Cost 14,500 gp

Pendant of Hidden Malice

The Good: Neat idea with a counter curse, you did well linking it in visually.

The Bad: There are some SiaC concerns here.

The Ugly: With the cool visual of a gem eye gazing maliciously, playing on that theme rather than spamming improved invisibility would have been much more compelling.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Jar of Fireflies
AuraModerate Conjuration (creation/summoning)[fire]; CL 8th
Slotxxxxx; Price 24.000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
The Jar of Fireflies is a jar of glass sealed with a lid of metal. Five fireflies contained in the jar illuminate it in a spectacular way and makes it to a continuous source of light.
If the fireflies are let out of the jar they transforms to five small flying beetles (Small Fire Elementals) under the control of the jars wielder. The beetles attack targets pointed
out by the holder of the jar, in addition to the description for the beetles (Small Fire Elementals) given in the Pathfinder Bestiary the offense is altered to Melee slam +4 (1d4 plus Burst)
Special Attacks Burst (1d8+8, DC 11), damage caused by a bursting beetle is reduced to half if a successful difficulty check is done. The beetles will hold their attacks or return
to the jar on command from the holder of the jar. If the jar is thrown as a bomb or takes a hard hit for some reason it breaks if a check (Break DC 16) isn't done. If a jar breaks it
will burst into a fireball giving all within a 20 feet radius damage (1d8+8 for each firefly in the jar, DC 15), in addition to a successful reflex check a successful spell resistance check
(if applicable) also reduces the damage from a bursting jar to half. Druids following the goddess of fireflies tends to bee amused of creating these kind of jars.

Construction
Requirements Feats: Spellcraft - Skills: Craft Wondrous Item - Spells, Summon Nature’s Ally VI (1d4+1 Small Fire Elementals),
Fire Seeds (Holly Berry Bombs)
, – Items: Jar of glass; Cost 12.000 gp

Jar of Fireflies

The Good: Jars are very uncommon as a magic item, good call going outside the box.

The Bad: SiaC is a distinct concern is this design.

The Ugly: There are a very large number of glaring template and formatting errors, as well as grammar errors. English may not be your 1st language, I strongly suggest seeking feedback and assistance from a native English speaker should you compete again.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Chemist's Retort
Aurafaint conjuration; CL 6th
Slotnone; Price 12,700 gp; Weight 15 lbs.

Description
The bolt case of this +2 heavy repeating crossbow may, instead of five bolts, be filled with a single flask or vial. Chemist's retort will fire the flask or vial loaded in this fashion as if it were thrown, but the range increment is 50 feet and the weapon's enhancement bonus only applies to your attack roll. Once the bolt case is loaded into the crossbow, this weapon duplicates any flask or vial loaded in this manner with a value of 50 gp or less, and may fire up to five total of any such item before running out and needing to be reloaded. It may fire a similar item of a higher value, but its magic is unable to duplicate such items.

Any time the bolt case is removed from the crossbow, it is empty. Alchemist's bombs (and any concoction that must be used within a round after it is created) are too volatile and become inert once loaded.

Three times per day as a free action, the wielder of chemist's retort may elect to double all damage done by an alchemical item it fires. This choice must be made before the attack is rolled.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, abundant ammunition; Cost 6,700 gp

Chemist's Retort

The Good: Very cool idea for a crossbow, I like where you went with the concept.

The Bad: Losing enhancement bonus to damage it a bit tough, though I get your reasoning. I would have gone with flasks and vials deal 1 + enhancement bonus + any relevant Feats/abilities in total damage IF they hit a creature directly, then apply their alchemical effects.

The Ugly: There is not justification via spell, Feat, or other requirement that deals with the ability to deal double damage with an alchemical item 3/day. It is a good idea, but needs to be backed up somehow in construction requirements.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

Blackthorn Cudgel
Aura moderate transmutation and necromancy; CL 9th
Slotno; Price 26,450 gp; Weight 3 lbs.

Description
This +2 club of wounding is crafted as greenwood, using a blackthorn branch. In this case, many of the thorns are also worked into the grain of the wood. The knobbed head of the blackthorn cudgel displays a dozen prominent needle-sharp thorns, strong enough to pierce armor. On each successful attack, one thorn detaches and becomes embedded in the creature struck. As long as the thorn remains embedded in the creature, it does 1 point of hit point bleed damage. A single embedded thorn can be removed using a move or standard action, but the bleed condition persists for another 3 rounds after the thorn is removed. A blackthorn cudgel regrows lost thorns at a rate of one per minute. Each regrown thorn causes one hit point of damage to the cudgel. After taking 25 hit points of damage, the blackthorn cudgel acquires the broken condition and can no longer regrow any thorns. A blackthorn cudgel loses the wounding feature whenever there are no thorns displayed. A blackthorn cudgel can regain hit points (and will start to regrow thorns) using the standard rules for greenwood weapons.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, thorn body or wall of thorns, bleed; Cost 13,450 gp

Blackthorn Cudgel

The Good: I like the theme, blackthorn is a neat material, I own a blackthorn cane IRL, so you get points from me there. Greenwood is also a favourite of mine in the special materials category.

The Bad: There are some minor formatting and rules languages issues. Most glaring is the clubs tag line should appear as +2 greenwood wounding club. Special materials should always be denoted in the tag line entry as such.

The Ugly: Bleed just does not do it for me here, there are so many ways to go, this one lets me down. I really liked the item, but very much was looking for something besides bleed. Thorns has allot of potential for cool visuals and neat mechanics.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Mask of Cheerful Demeanor
Aura moderate enchantment; CL 7th
Slot head; Price 4,500 gp; Weight 4 lbs.

Description
When worn, this mask is absorbed into the wearer’s face, leaving no sign of its presence; it remains absorbed until the wearer intentionally removes it (a full-round action that requires both hands), or until the wearer’s death. The wearer’s face always keeps a smile – delighted, sweet, sad, or whatever the situation calls for, but never appearing forced or false. Her voice is cheerful and enthusiastic, and in conversation, her words are naturally positive and inspiring.

The wearer of a mask of cheerful demeanor gains a +5 competence bonus on Diplomacy checks. She also gains a +10 bonus on Bluff checks made for the specific purpose of hiding her own negative emotions (fear, discomfort, anger, etc.) The mask’s effects make it difficult for the wearer to inspire fear in others; she takes a -10 penalty on Intimidate checks, and any fear effect she produces has its DC reduced by 4.

In addition, the wearer gains a +4 morale bonus on saving throws against mind-affecting effects that rely on negative emotions (such as crushing despair, rage, or fear effects). If the wearer is subject to the effects of calm emotions, this morale bonus is suppressed for the duration of that effect.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, good hope, remove fear, creator must have 5 ranks in the Diplomacy skill; Cost 2,250 gp

Mask of Cheerful Demeanor

The Good: Interesting take on drawbacks.

The Bad: Going with an invisible item means we get no description. I get the utility, and it works fine, but an item description may have given this item a boost.

The Ugly: Social ability enhancing masks are a current thing, and while this one works interestingly, it still is just a mask of social ability, taking a more risky design angle may have paid off better.

51 to 100 of 251 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Archive / Paizo / RPG Superstar™ / General Discussion / The return of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly item Critique thread Season 9 edition All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.