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Boots of Ethereal Wake
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot feet; Price 32,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A vibrant blue nimbus scintillates upon this pair of sturdy boots. The glow blinks in and out of sight, revealing the sleek tawny hide from which the boots are made.
Up to 3 times per day as a free action, the wearer may become ethereal as part of a charge. This movement through the Ethereal Plane is unobstructed and at the wearer's normal speed. After this movement ends, the wearer instantly returns to the Material Plane and may complete the charge action by making a single melee attack. The wearer may move through obstacles and difficult terrain, but must have line of sight to the target.
Alternatively, the wearer may choose to forgo the melee attack and instead charge up to their full movement through the target creature’s space. This causes an ethereal wake to wash over and envelope the target of the charge. A non-ethereal target must succeed at a DC 20 Will save or be pulled into the Ethereal Plane for 1d4 rounds. If an ethereal creature is targeted, this ability instead forces the creature onto the Material Plane. At the end of this duration, the creature reappears where it had been when subjected to the charge. If this location is filled with a solid object, the subject appears in the nearest open space.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, blink, ethereal jaunt; Cost 16,000 gp
Way to go, Jeff!
Congrats, Jeff!
Congrats!
Fun item and I added it to my keep list before I was even done reading it.
I wish we could get the price lower but sometimes it costs a lot to be awesome.
Voted regularly for this item. There were one or two others that had a similar effect, but this one stands out in my memory. Congrats!
Well done, Vizor. You have done the "Rising Dynasty" proud!
Woohoo! Congrats man, I loved your item!
You have already demonstrated that you are a very talented designer, and this item just serves as additional proof. Well done!
Very nice, Jeff. Congrats!
Truly, the caliber of your writing as grown exponentially since I first saw your work. Well done!
Our items shared a design space, so I expect the reason we are both here is because they didn't come up against one another all that often in the voting roster. I'm thankful for that, because honestly if I had to choose between your item and mine, yours would win.
Knock it out of the park for round 2!
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This causes an ethereal wake to wash over and envelope the target of the charge. Such an evocative description! Great item, introduces a rare mechanic at earlier earlier level than usual and makes it really useful. I'd be tempted to go further and make it 1/day for an even smaller price (trying to get it onto the feet of my players around level 7 or so).
I'm really happy this item made it to the top 32, I consider it pretty much my top pick.
Contributor
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Marathon Voter Season 9
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Congratulations on making it in!
Boots of Ethereal Wake
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot feet; Price 32,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
A vibrant blue nimbus scintillates upon this pair of sturdy boots. The glow blinks in and out of sight, revealing the sleek tawny hide from which the boots are made.Up to 3 times per day as a free action, the wearer may become ethereal as part of a charge. This movement through the Ethereal Plane is unobstructed and at the wearer's normal speed. After this movement ends, the wearer instantly returns to the Material Plane and may complete the charge action by making a single melee attack. The wearer may move through obstacles and difficult terrain, but must have line of sight to the target.
Alternatively, the wearer may choose to forgo the melee attack and instead charge up to their full movement through the target creature’s space. This causes an ethereal wake to wash over and envelope the target of the charge. A non-ethereal target must succeed at a DC 20 Will save or be pulled into the Ethereal Plane for 1d4 rounds. If an ethereal creature is targeted, this ability instead forces the creature onto the Material Plane. At the end of this duration, the creature reappears where it had been when subjected to the charge. If this location is filled with a solid object, the subject appears in the nearest open space.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, blink, ethereal jaunt; Cost 16,000 gp
I'll admit, I was torn on this one. The ability to suck an enemy onto the Ethereal Plane, cut off from all support, is extremely powerful. I probably would have upped the price a few notches. That said, the ability is very interesting.
Good luck in the next round!
Congratulations on making it into the Top 32! Pulling your opponents into the Ethereal Plane through your boots is a cool effect. Good luck in the rest of the competition.
Boots of Ethereal Wake
Congratulations Jeff!
The first time I read this the evocative images made me totally miss the mechanics. So on the reread, when I stopped to think about it I was even more impressed. Charging ethereally to avoid terrain is OK, but it was the wake that sold me. I like that this can pull and push someone over that threshold.
Good luck on maps, monsters, and encounters!
Congrat on making the Top 32!
I like these boots. limited uses of making the tactical placements of charge lanes is helpful. I am a little uncertain about the second use of them, especially since they appear where they were targeted. This removes them from the fight, and also let them know exactly where the target will reappear, and have the party set up to unleash hell on them when they do. Since they are out of the fight for a few rounds, I would rather they get to move around, enjoy the mechanics of movement in the ethereal plane, and appear wherever they are at the end of those rounds. Maybe this gives the guy a chance to run away, but that seems much more fair for the ability to remove people from the fight. I like this item, and would want to playtest and tinker to find out exactly how that ability should work. Good luck on your map, I look forward to seeing it.
Best of luck in all future rounds!
I will be starting my reviews soon, and they can be bumpy at times, so here's a starter for 10 on Template ...
You nailed it!
very nice template execution results in an entry both a joy to read and to vote on. Well done.
Sorry Fu, no food here, let's try the next one...
Full review to follow in due course.
Congratulations on earning your spot in this year’s Top 32, Jeffrey! Here are some of my thoughts regarding your item:
- The mechanics of the item seem tight. I don’t have any immediate concerns.
- This seems like an incredible item to have in the hands of an antagonist. I can picture the look on the players faces when they realize they’re friend has been picked up and deposited on another plane. Oh boy, awesome!
- Once the players loot it, they'll probably want to keep it.
- Martial characters can always use more tricks, and this one is fun and effective in many situations.
- Seems reasonably priced. A 32,000gp item should have a big impact on how a fight unfolds.
As promised yesterday, the GB&U this year is courtesy of me rather than GM_solsprial (he is busy drawing furiously). So without further ado, our amazing and awesome top 32+4 get the first set of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly critiques, and then on to everyone else who requested a critique in the CMI official thread, or in my shiny The GB&U Season 9 thread.
Boots of Ethereal Wake
The Good: Good name, interesting answer to difficult terrain and charging.
The Bad: By the same token, the catch all ignore terrain seems a bit much to me, magical difficult terrain effects IMO should have been noted to sill apply.
The Ugly: While not specifically an anti-ghost item, it comes close, and also has the added benefit of removing a decently powerful defence method many enemy casters would employ to remain safe in or flee from battle. That is almost a bit too nice, I appreciate the power, but my inner GM cringes a bit.
Welcome to the Top 32, Jeff! Your submission has overcome the magic item horde and the many culls to emerge at the top of the heap. Congratulations!
I'll be one of the judges for this first round, offering my humble commentary which I hope will be helpful to you moving into Round 2. I will be considering each item based on three factors: functionality (does the item fill a useful niche within the rules?), mojo ("wow" factor--would I point out this item to someone else, or immediately get some cool concept to go with it?), and writing (is the formatting and text clear and error free? Is the prose interesting and evocative?)
Combining these elements successfully is, I feel, key to defining that elusive "Superstar" quality that we all want to see.
So you know what I'm looking for, now let's move on to the good bit: your boots of ethereal wake!
Functionality and Usefulness
These are gonzo good. Melee fighters would line up outside the magic cobbler for a pair of these.
The ethereal charge is a pretty cool idea by itself, then you add in your ethereal wake ability and it's just so much better. And you can yank out ethereal critters? Yowza!
Interacting with the planes appeals to me, and I do like this a lot. I do believe a slight toning down would be appropriate, though.
Taking someone entirely out of the combat for 1d4 rounds is pretty powerful, especially since he's gonna pop up where he left. The suggestion to let an enemy in the Ethereal Plane at least move around is a good one, and the opportunity for him to escape is a risk that would need to be evaluated before using the boots.
Pulling out ethereal creatures is harsh because they tend to be really squishy without that defense. The boots are incredibly good even if that ability is removed. Otherwise, dropping it to one round would allow for a brief window of ethereal piñata, and then at least give it a fighting chance.
The charge ability is simple and well-conceived. This would still be a pretty good item with that alone.
The Cool Factor/Mojo
You accomplished two different aspects of the good design coin: Your charge ability is no-frills, but considered well and done elegantly. Your ethereal wake ability, on the other hand, is shiny and goes to the wall and risks overstepping its bounds.
I appreciate that you're able to present both restraint and risk-taking at the same time, but I'd caution against doing too much.
You know how to get attention and do something new, interweave new mechanics with old ones, and put it together in a great package. It could afford to lose a few bells and whistles, but it doesn't make it any less well done.
Prose and Editing
I am not positive about the blinker boots description. :) But your writing is quite good and your rules are clear. You gave this a fine polish.
Overall
I think you are fully capable to do well here. You know the elements of good design, you've got the writing, and you know how to present something with good editing and polish. If anything, might just work on knowing when to pull back just a little.
I am honored to have been allowed to provide feedback this year. I look forward to your entry for Round 2, Jeff, and expect to see a great map set to wow the voters.
Congratulations again!
Okay now that we have a few days before Top 16 reveals I've decided to comment on my competitors work. First, congrats one being a people's choice top 36. To me connecting more directly with the pathfinder community as an audience is even more impressive then clicking for a group of judges.
Neat concept but you kind of buried the lead and this suffered from me just getting the first power most of the time. I feel like I've seen this type of mechanic in boots before which is why this wasn't a favorite for me... Good luck in the next round...
Thanks to everyone for voting me into the top 32, and for the helpful comments! So many talented designers in this community, its nice to get such great feedback!
Organized Play Line Developer
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Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9
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Congrats on making it to round two!
I thought your item was quirky and cool. The ethereal charge ability is useful and fits really well, and the second ability is very flashy, but still useful. It's well designed and thematically tight. I really enjoyed your item and voted for it quite a few times.
Best of luck in the map round.
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Never saw these, but it would have been a very easy upvote if I had.
Clever item, and it does what I like most- gives players options. And the wording is both evocative and tight, which is rare.
Yeah, it's maybe a little overpowered in some situations, but this is otherwise a superstar item all around.
Boots of Ethereal Wake
Congratulations for making it into the Top 32!
Seeing as that's how I had to start this, you're already a potential "Superstar" so keep that in mind!
That out of the way, I'm going to treat your item the same as if I saw it in the Critique My Item Thread, which means I'll be using the following comments, and assuming you're submitting this item as your "sample" for an Open Call to Fat Goblin Game's Call to Arms book line.
Feel free to disagree with me and DEFEND YOUR CHOICES!
Publishable — How long of an action is it for me to "change boots?" Either a full-round action or a move action to "retrieve an item" then a standard action to "put on new boots?" These are merely a "X times per day" item, with no other inherent bonus for wearing them the rest of the day, so either my character puts them on just before we go tussle and/or I'm suddenly changing into them in combat (ideally while hiding or invisible). These are the kinda funky thing I'd keep if I got them in the loot, but only wear if I had no other magical boots, and then I'd like sell them once I had something "better" or I hadn't bothered to pull these out for a dozen sessions or more.
<<Note: I workshopped these boots at least once with Jeff before submission, so he knows my full critique elsewhere>>
How long of an action is it for me to "change boots?" Either a full-round action or a move action to "retrieve an item" then a standard action to "put on new boots?"Depends on how the items are stored, but generally swapping readily available items in a slot is one move action each to remove and equip.
:P I was as much calling out how much with these boots I'd use then leave them behind, and in fact for less expensive boots (because I could get them and afford these).
These are merely a "X times per day" item, with no other inherent bonus for wearing them the rest of the day, so either my character puts them on just before we go tussle and/or I'm suddenly changing into them in combat (ideally while hiding or invisible). These are the kinda funky thing I'd keep if I got them in the loot, but only wear if I had no other magical boots, and then I'd like sell them once I had something "better" or I hadn't bothered to pull these out for a dozen sessions or more.Acknowledging that Paizo item-book items aren't necessarily Superstar, here's the other first-party wondrous boots in the Lesser Major price range:
...
- Boots of the battle herald (30,000 gp; 30 rounds/day of greater heroism, morale bonus to attack rolls, skills, saves when active, no passive bonuses)
- Getaway boots (30,000 gp; 1/day getaway, no offensive ability, no passive bonuses)
- Burglar boots, major (46,000 gp; passive +10 competence bonus on Perception checks and to AC and on Reflex saves, 1/day find traps)
- Boots of teleportation (48,000 gp; 3/day teleport, no offensive ability, no passive
Boots of the battleherald being effective for 30 rounds per day I like, in your standard adventure etc. at this point, I wonder how many rounds of combat you even make it through by this point... it's worthwhile to wear these all the time, and the bonus is pretty good. This is basically "30 times per day" which is a LOT more than 3 times per day.
Assuming I could attune the boots and still take them off, then I even more so would call those out for the same thing of "I keep these boots in my bag till I need them."
Burglar boots precisely have the kind of thing I'd have loved to see these boots have, some solid passive power that made them worth wearing all the time (at least for certain builds, builds that would want the 3x per day power ideally).
And boots of teleportation would get an even more scathing review from me if they'd made it into the Top 32 of RPG Superstar.
I think too, with one of four having much more what I'd have personally wanted to see, it justifies my position to a point. That and lesser boots having passive powers etc. make it not impossible.
I said "Publishable" -- if you "ranked" my ratings, this is just under "Superstar" and I offered that if they had a cool, thematic, and fitting passive power, I'd have tagged them as Superstar.
So :P Now get back to writing! ;)
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Jeff! Welcome..to the Top 32!
As one of the judges who'll be along for the entire ride of the competition, it's my duty (and pleasure) to offer up some commentary on your winning submission, as well as a bit of advice for the challenges to come. First up...your item...the boots of ethereal wake...
Okay. The name is perfect. We know they're boots. They somehow deal with the Ethereal Plane, and once we read further the whole "ethereal wake" effect is obviously the crown jewel of this item design.
Mojo. Off the chain creativity. Maximum mojo count for providing an interesting means of bypassing difficult terrain on a charge, and giving a unique way of bringing the Ethereal Plane into play as an offensive attack against ethereal creatures and those still on the Prime Material plane. Awesome.
Cinematic. Yeah. You get immediate visuals of seeing these boots in play. Someone starts charging with them, blinks out of existence a few steps in, then blink back into existence right in your face as they strike. Or, they start charging at you and suddenly a wave of etherealness sweeps over you from their wake and you're the one blinked out of existence and in an unfamiliar place. Or, the party is facing an ethereal creature and struggling with it. The wearer of these boots identifies its position, charges, and knocks it into existence for his friends to beat it down. Frustration resolved.
Usefulness. It's very useful. Charging unimpeded across difficult terrain is inherently useful from the get-go, but the ethereal wake power adds further utility as an offensive or defensive weapon.
Mechanics. Going under the hood a bit, I do think there's some valid concern to the points Victoria (and others) raised. Knocking a BBEG out of a fight while you eradicate his minions and then turn on him a few rounds later when he reappears is a bit much. It's one thing to knock someone into the Ethereal Plane with the boots' wake, but another to hold them in place until they return in the exact same spot where they left the Material Plane. They should certainly get to move around, and, if they've got the means to escape (or return sooner), they should certainly have a chance to do that.
Additionally, the boots don't really give you the ability to know which space an ethereal creature occupies, right? So, how does the wearer of the boots know which square to charge so the wake knocks the creature into the Material Plane? He doesn't. So, one suggestion might be to have the blue glow of the boots be tied to an ethereal detection power to warn the wearer when an ethereal creature passes nearby. And, maybe grant the wearer some level of blindsense within a certain range to pinpoint the square the ethereal creature is occupying. That way, the charge ability works. Even so, I'd recommend making it so the semi-blind charge attack into the square only affects the ethereal creature on the same percent chance as trying to hit an invisible creature.
Polish. You've got this down. The professionalism and attention to detail is there, and it shows.
Other than that, this item is uniquely different than anything I've seen in awhile. The interplay with the Ethereal Plane works on multiple levels. It's got utility and creativity. So, I'll just offer you my hearty congratulations on making the Top 32, and I look forward to seeing what you've got for us in Round 2.
My two cents,
--Neil
My only concern with this awesome item, it that the DC on the ethereal wake seems to high.
Assistant Developer
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Star Voter Season 6
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Hello, Jeffrey, and welcome to the Top 32!
I'll be a judge for this round, and I'm honored and pleased to offer feedback on your boots of ethereal wake. I hope this feedback provides some helpful insight to you as you move forward in the competition.
As an assistant developer at Paizo, I'll offer you three levels of commentary that approximate the development process: some first impressions, a deeper look, and some measured feedback.
So, let's get started!
First impressions: Playing with the effects of the Ethereal Plane and charging, a fundamental element of the combat rules? Now that's very creative as well as very useful. Excellent job there.
Deeper look: Wow, is this item powerful, particularly for the cost. Taking the BBEG out of the fight for 1d4 rounds and murderhoboing its minions just in time for the poor sap to wink back onto the Material Plane and get slaughtered is a power gamer's dream -- and a GM's nightmare. For balance sake, that ability needs seriously toned down; making it a 1/day that knocks the baddie into the Ethereal Plane for 1 round (while still allowing it to move) might still make this an awesomely creative and useful item, and it would not nearly break just about every subsequent combat.
I do agree it's odd to call out what happens if the target is ethereal, because as written, these boots don't allow the wearer any special method of seeing an ethereal creature. On the flip side, though, you did a really nice job of making this work from a planar standpoint; effects originating from the Ethereal Plane don't affect the Material Plane, but these boots specifically are activated on the Material Plane, allow a nicely tweaked blink-like effect, and then again affect the Material Plane. So kudos there.
Measured feedback: Really, really nice job here of taking a fantastic mechanical idea and turning it into a wondrous item that's going to be useful for a wide array of characters. Just pay closer attention to exactly how powerful your designs are going to be at the table, and maybe work a little on articulating cool visuals (these boots conjure up images of light-up tennis shoes for me, honestly). Other than that, though, you've done a really fantastic job. I'm excited to what you'll design next.
That said, thanks for reading, and best of luck in the contest!
Congratulations, Jeffrey, on making it through Round 1!
I hadn't seen these particular boots while I was voting but I like the flavour a lot. Perhaps a bit more fleshing out is needed, but the core idea is pretty cool.
Good luck in the rest of the competition!