>>I'm Hiding In Your Closet, Answering Your Questions!<<


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Scarab Sages

The Jester is in!

FINE PRINT: I reserve the right to plead the 5th in certain conceivable cases, or to abandon this stunt at whatever point I get tired of it.


What is in my closet?


Is the monster still in there?


*Thoroughly fumigates his closets and rigs various leg hold traps, deadfalls and claymore mines in them.*


Sharoth wrote:
Is the monster still in there?

If it is I would like it to tidy up for once....


How much time do you think before you pass KoboldCleaver's thread?

Scarab Sages

The 8th Dwarf wrote:

What is in my closet?

*rummages around* A dusty tuxedo you forgot to return to the rental place, a T-shirt with a whale on it, a ruined pair of shoes, a few pieces from various Halloween costumes, a Domino Rally playset, a mostly-empty photo album, a revolver chamber (the rest of the gun is nowhere to be found), a small stack of Star Trek novels, and an ungodly amount of beer.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sharoth wrote:
Is the monster still in there?

Sure is! It has a mate, a clutch of eggs, and its own Indian restaurant now, too!


I believe that between you and I (yes I'm Hiding, I am talking to you) we can answer any question imaginable.

However, my question is

"Should I start an ask Waglinde Anything Thread?"


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
The 8th Dwarf wrote:

What is in my closet?

*rummages around* A dusty tuxedo you forgot to return to the rental place, a T-shirt with a whale on it, a ruined pair of shoes, a few pieces from various Halloween costumes, a Domino Rally playset, a mostly-empty photo album, a revolver chamber (the rest of the gun is nowhere to be found), a small stack of Star Trek novels, and an ungodly amount of beer.

A revolver chamber? A chamber on a modern firearm is the hole that you place the cartridge in. So you found a hole (i.e., nothing) and nothing else in addition to that. Unless of course you were attempting to refer to a revolver *cylinder*, the part that has the holes drilled in it to hold the cartridges.

Scarab Sages

Ceaser Slaad wrote:
*Thoroughly fumigates his closets and rigs various leg hold traps, deadfalls and claymore mines in them.*

You're so cute. *uses fumigation gasses to fill copper-foil party balloons, brings traps to life and makes them dance*


What are you talking about, I've got five revolver chambers in my pocket right now

Scarab Sages

The Fiend Fantastic wrote:
How much time do you think before you pass KoboldCleaver's thread?

Umm...I think all the time.

Scarab Sages

Waglinde wrote:

I believe that between you and I (yes I'm Hiding, I am talking to you) we can answer any question imaginable.

However, my question is

"Should I start an ask Waglinde Anything Thread?"

Why not start a corn dog and lemonade stand instead? We could use one of those around here.

Scarab Sages

Ceaser Slaad wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
The 8th Dwarf wrote:

What is in my closet?

*rummages around* A dusty tuxedo you forgot to return to the rental place, a T-shirt with a whale on it, a ruined pair of shoes, a few pieces from various Halloween costumes, a Domino Rally playset, a mostly-empty photo album, a revolver chamber (the rest of the gun is nowhere to be found), a small stack of Star Trek novels, and an ungodly amount of beer.

A revolver chamber? A chamber on a modern firearm is the hole that you place the cartridge in. So you found a hole (i.e., nothing) and nothing else in addition to that. Unless of course you were attempting to refer to a revolver *cylinder*, the part that has the holes drilled in it to hold the cartridges.

Did I say it was part of a modern firearm? You never know what you'll find In Your Closet!


Very close - I do own a tux 20 years old, a pair of Windsor Smiths that need the soles replaced on no t shirts with whales, Monty Python, Star Wars, Star Trek, Big trouble in little China a chimpanzee but no whales. Don't have gun do have a bokken and a pair of sai. Not enough rugby jerseys.
The beer I wish...


What are you hiding from in my closet, and whatever it is, isn't the closet the first place it's going to look?

EDIT: T8D, you have a chimp in your closet?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Don't you think you'd be able to hide in my closet better if you weren't answering questions, just saying :-)

And nope not afraid and no firearms, I do however have two kids that watched Monsters, Inc. So really you should be afraid... and get used to tea parties and makeovers:-p..... are you still there?

Scarab Sages

Limeylongears wrote:

What are you hiding from in my closet, and whatever it is, isn't the closet the first place it's going to look?

Who said I was Hiding from anything? I Hide In Your Closet, then when you're asleep I sneak out, raid your tea cupboard, randomly rearrange your furniture, and smear your face with chocolate frosting. That's the way it works. DUH!

Also, anything that MIGHT happen to be looking for me is going to find YOU first, so there's that.

Scarab Sages

captain yesterday wrote:

Don't you think you'd be able to hide in my closet better if you weren't answering questions, just saying :-)

And nope not afraid and no firearms, I do however have two kids that watched Monsters, Inc. So really you should be afraid... and get used to tea parties and makeovers:-p..... are you still there?

You don't think Your Closet has Internet? Poor silly thing.

Hi. I'm still here. I love tea parties! As for makeovers, I have this policy that anyone who wants to give me a makeover has to accept one from me as well. That tends to have a chilling effect on the issue.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

What are you hiding from in my closet, and whatever it is, isn't the closet the first place it's going to look?

Who said I was Hiding from anything? I Hide In Your Closet, then when you're asleep I sneak out, raid your tea cupboard, randomly rearrange your furniture, and smear your face with chocolate frosting. That's the way it works. DUH!

Also, anything that MIGHT happen to be looking for me is going to find YOU first, so there's that.

Well, that explains a great deal. However, what happens if what MIGHT be looking for YOU is, in fact, ME?

Scarab Sages

Limeylongears wrote:


Well, that explains a great deal. However, what happens if what MIGHT be looking for YOU is, in fact, ME?

Then I GET YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Wait, which closet are you in? The one with the trash, the one with my dirty underwear, or the one full of [REDACTED]?

Scarab Sages

Jiggy wrote:
Wait, which closet are you in? The one with the trash, the one with my dirty underwear, or the one full of [REDACTED]?

If it's a Closet, I'm Hiding In it.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

Don't you think you'd be able to hide in my closet better if you weren't answering questions, just saying :-)

And nope not afraid and no firearms, I do however have two kids that watched Monsters, Inc. So really you should be afraid... and get used to tea parties and makeovers:-p..... are you still there?

You don't think Your Closet has Internet? Poor silly thing.

I knew I should turn Wi-Fi off...

How long will you survive in my closet before the clothing moths, dust, and fungus will suffocate you?


If it's full of REDACTED, how are you going to get out?

Do you want to?

Is GoatToucher in there with you, or did he have first go?

Scarab Sages

Drejk wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

Don't you think you'd be able to hide in my closet better if you weren't answering questions, just saying :-)

And nope not afraid and no firearms, I do however have two kids that watched Monsters, Inc. So really you should be afraid... and get used to tea parties and makeovers:-p..... are you still there?

You don't think Your Closet has Internet? Poor silly thing.

I knew I should turn Wi-Fi off...

How long will you survive in my closet before the clothing moths, dust, and fungus will suffocate you?

Such trivialities are no concern to me - I live with CATS!

Scarab Sages

Limeylongears wrote:

If it's full of REDACTED, how are you going to get out?

Didn't you check my profile? I can enter a house through a dog door if I really need to, navigating REDACTED is par for the course for me.

Limeylongears wrote:


Do you want to?

Not right now. I just found a comic book....

Limeylongears wrote:


Is GoatToucher in there with you, or did he have first go?

First go at what? No, he's not in here with me, Your Closet is MY turf, and GoatToucher damned well knows it!


Would the closet you're hiding in be dimensionally transcendent and be connected to a variety of mysterious realms and all of the closets past, present and future?


Could you pass me my skinsuit?

Scarab Sages

The Doomkitten wrote:
Would the closet you're hiding in be dimensionally transcendent and be connected to a variety of mysterious realms and all of the closets past, present and future?

CORRECT! *lights flash, duck comes down, studio audience goes wild*

Scarab Sages

Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
Could you pass me my skinsuit?

You mean the one with the silly tattoos, the one with extra genitalia everywhere, or the "Donald Duck" number?

Here, you figure it out. *telekinetically ejects them all*


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

If it's full of REDACTED, how are you going to get out?

Didn't you check my profile? I can enter a house through a dog door if I really need to, navigating REDACTED is par for the course for me.

[

Yes, I did. Tell me, is that a door in a dog, a door for a dog or a dog that is also a door?


No, no. The one you're wearing.

Scarab Sages

Limeylongears wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

If it's full of REDACTED, how are you going to get out?

Didn't you check my profile? I can enter a house through a dog door if I really need to, navigating REDACTED is par for the course for me.

[

Yes, I did. Tell me, is that a door in a dog, a door for a dog or a dog that is also a door?

The middle one; I'll admit I've yet to try the other two.

Scarab Sages

Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
No, no. The one you're wearing.

You asked me to pass you YOUR skinsuit. I assure you this one's mine, and it isn't actual skin, anyways.


I believe that some sort of Swedish/Aztec spring fertility ritual is being planned. Smile, don't make eye contact, back away slowly until you're clear of the room then RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!!!!


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
No, no. The one you're wearing.
You asked me to pass you YOUR skinsuit. I assure you this one's mine, and it isn't actual skin, anyways.

Oh but it is. And my closet - my clothes.


Limeylongears wrote:

What are you hiding from in my closet, and whatever it is, isn't the closet the first place it's going to look?

EDIT: T8D, you have a chimp in your closet?

I wish, just a picture of one on a T shirt.

Scarab Sages

Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
No, no. The one you're wearing.
You asked me to pass you YOUR skinsuit. I assure you this one's mine, and it isn't actual skin, anyways.
Oh but it is. And my closet - my clothes.

Look, I came here for an argument, this is just contradiction!

The 8th Dwarf wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

What are you hiding from in my closet, and whatever it is, isn't the closet the first place it's going to look?

EDIT: T8D, you have a chimp in your closet?

I wish, just a picture of one on a T shirt.

What you do have In Your Closet is a bunch of funnelwebs. They've established a tiny communist utopia with a hospital, a Mongolian barbecue, a playing-card factory, and an air force.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
No, no. The one you're wearing.
You asked me to pass you YOUR skinsuit. I assure you this one's mine, and it isn't actual skin, anyways.
Oh but it is. And my closet - my clothes.

Look, I came here for an argument, this is just contradiction!

The 8th Dwarf wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

What are you hiding from in my closet, and whatever it is, isn't the closet the first place it's going to look?

EDIT: T8D, you have a chimp in your closet?

I wish, just a picture of one on a T shirt.
What you do have In Your Closet is a bunch of funnelwebs. They've established a tiny communist utopia with a hospital, a Mongolian barbecue, a playing-card factory, and an air force.

Wouldn't be surprised by the funnel webs.....


Did you know I'm feeling nice tonight, and that's why I'm giving you a shameless bump for jumping in my thread a couple times?

Tea fans are alright by me.

Legit question - what's the story behind the name?


Can I borrow a quarter?

Scarab Sages

thegreenteagamer wrote:

Did you know I'm feeling nice tonight, and that's why I'm giving you a shameless bump for jumping in my thread a couple times?

Tea fans are alright by me.

Legit question - what's the story behind the name?

Story? I suppose it would be Rafael Sabatini's Scaramouche: I was born with the gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
Can I borrow a quarter?

*eyes light up, mouth extends unnaturally wide*

loose change breath weapon: 5d4 + 5 ⇒ (2, 1, 3, 3, 1) + 5 = 15

Make a Reflex save for quarter damage!


Quarter damage. I see what you did there.

Dark Archive

what is the meaning of life


What is the life of meaning?


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
Kreepy Kajehase wrote:
No, no. The one you're wearing.
You asked me to pass you YOUR skinsuit. I assure you this one's mine, and it isn't actual skin, anyways.
Oh but it is. And my closet - my clothes.

Look, I came here for an argument, this is just contradiction!

The 8th Dwarf wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

What are you hiding from in my closet, and whatever it is, isn't the closet the first place it's going to look?

EDIT: T8D, you have a chimp in your closet?

I wish, just a picture of one on a T shirt.
What you do have In Your Closet is a bunch of funnelwebs. They've established a tiny communist utopia with a hospital, a Mongolian barbecue, a playing-card factory, and an air force.

Australian spiders? I would expect more of a survival of the fittest cutthroat regime, with its own tiny Thunderdome.

Scarab Sages

lord of rabbits wrote:
what is the meaning of life

There is none - you get to make up your own!

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