101 things to find in a semi-civilized goblin settlement

Gamer Life General Discussion

Because I need to flesh out a settlement populated with goblins that try to emulate humans but without losing their goblin "culture" and I need some weird/cool ideas.

1. A rat farm, because they like ratburgers.

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2.) All of the evidence we need, on display in the main courtyard.

3. A display of millenary Goblin torture machines for the impertinent players :p

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4. Goblin powered rickshaws to substitute for horse and carriage.

5. Goblin Kennels and petting zoo.

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6. A horse farm. The owner also has a collection of cookbooks for horses, so a buyer could find their dinner and a new recipe all in one place.

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7. A bas relief of Lamashtu stealing the Baghest hero gods from Hell.

Radiant Oath

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

8. A smithy where the various bits of metal rubbish and detritus collected by the citizenry get processed into working dogslicers and horsechoppers.

Scarab Sages

9. A dental clinic; supports 4 full-time dentists, at least one of whom is always in.

10. Gobbler's and Gnashknarl's, Goblin attorneys at law, and part-time Clerics of Asmodeus.

Scarab Sages

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11. The Fire Department. It's not what you think it is.

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12. Socialist newspapers.

Scarab Sages

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13. A Razmiran mission (offering free personality readings!).

14) An alchemy lab where all the recipes are surprisingly detailed pictograms. An nongoblin alchemist can figure them out with a DC 15 alchemy check.

Over 80% of the lab is dedicated to flammables. The "apprentice" section is where all the nonflammable but useful items are made (because the apprentices have to learn the craft on the boring stuff, before they're allowed to touch the good stuff).

15) A wolf doctor who may or may not be an actual druid, witch, or shaman that travels around and checks on the local packs.

16) A "nursery" where the food is routinely hung a couple feet off the floor. The stronger babies reach the food by using weaker babies as stools.

17) The town square contains a fire pit that's kept lit 24/7. It may be a stone's throw away from the alchemy lab.

Or directly next to it.

18. Hobgoblins.

Liberty's Edge

19. One sketchy looking goblin that as you walk into town is wearing a cloak too big for him. He walks up to anyone coming into the settlement and flashes them with his tiny naked green body. Ala Gremlins

Marco Polaris wrote:
18. Hobgoblins.

Maybe it's a sign of me becoming too much of a Pathfinder nerd, but this is really funny.

Grand Lodge

20: Street vendors selling rat on a stick!

Various Specialties:
1. Honey Glazed
2. Jalapeno rubbed
3. Breaded (Like a corn dog)
4. Non-breaded

I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
11. The Fire Department. It's not what you think it is.

I am going to be involved in a war. How much fire will 10 thousand gold pieces get me? :)

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21. The burned remains of the LAST semi-civilized settlement.

Liberty's Edge

22. The Easter Bunny.
23. Santa Claus.
24. The Tooth Fairy.
25. Various other fictional creatures. Civilized goblins, indeed.

26. Babies.

Scarab Sages

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27. A sausage factory nursery.

28. A recycling center run by a necromancer.

The Exchange

29. Hot dogs!
30. Horse burgers.

31. Semi-civilized goblins.

Grand Lodge

31. A fighting pit/arena

Dark Archive

32. Cave Raptors and Interns.

33. Alchemical supply shop, made entirely out of acid-resistant non-flammable stone (built over the ashes of the first eighteen not-fireproof shops...). At any given time, it has a tanglefoot bag, four thunderstones, six flasks of acid, and six hundred and forty flasks of alchemical fire (for goblins favorite nautical pastime, recreating the Battle of Blackwater Bay). It always seems to be 'fresh out' of any sort of alchemical remedies, such as antitoxin, but given the dusty state of the shelves in that section of the 'shop,' it's not clear if that area has been stocked in geologic time.

34. 'Slave market,' with three dispirited kobolds and a mite.

Scarab Sages

35. A shop called "the GAP" - there's no telling what it's supposed to be selling, because the floor inside has collapsed and all its ware have vanished into an underground pit.

Dark Archive

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36. Pickle Hut. It's a hut. The proprietor is a witch that sells pickled *everything* (including her specialty, pickled monkey, some of which are enspelled to animate and attack the nearest living creature when their pickle jar is broken).

THat is an cool amusing Idea Set.

Scarab Sages

37. A combination temple and bank that operates on a kind of might-makes-right timeshare basis: Ocassionally, a shaman will barge in, scream "this be house of Zarongel!" and proceed to thrash the moneylenders and their stalls, and the building will once again become devoted to worship; at any point later, a merchant can come in, scream "this be place of commerce!" and proceed to thrash the clergy and their altars, and the building will return to functioning as a bank; and so on.

Dark Archive

38. Church of Fitin' and Bitin' - This was once a shrine to a goblin faith that followed any random goblin born with a particular physical mark, which was seen to be evidence that they were sent by Lamashtu to lead the tribe to greatness. Whatever the physical sign was, it wasn't terribly uncommon, so there was usually someone with 'the mark.' Occasionally, a goblin would be born with 'the mark,' when another goblin with the mark was already comfortably ensconced in the role of living god, and infanticide was not uncommon as the 'true god' eliminated the rival 'false god.' Other times, sick of the 'true god's' behavior, supporters would spring up around the newborn and overthrow the current holder of the holy title, declaring them false and the newborn true. After generations of bloodshed, including some acts of self-genocide, nobody is exactly sure what 'the mark' is, and a half dozen goblins at any time are trying to point to their clubfoot or discolored patch of hair or some other unusual feature as 'proof' that they are the new chosen one. The endless strife between these 'chosen' and their supporters has led to this building being renamed the church of fitin' and bitin', since it's become a weekly event that half the community shows up to bet on, as the 'chosen' and their supporters fight each other for the honor of being proclaimed the reborn god.

39. Da Slops.

Combined latrine and playground for goblin children. 'Nuff said.

40. The Failfire Pool - the dumping ground from the various goblin alchemical works for their failed attempts at alchemist fire (which IS a DC 20 craft check). The place smells like lighter fluid and occasionally goes up like it too. The goblins sometimes marinate meat in the fluids prior to cooking, for extra burning goodness.

Dark Archive

41. A "bear" cave.

At the entrance of the cave a DC 5 Perception check will reveal a sour odor coming from the inside.

Inside the cave, resides an Ogre with maximum hit points, who wears a mostly intact bear pelt to ward off the cold (and he finds the biting fleas on the pelt "ticklish").

There are many sacks of coins and food remnants on the cave ground in a rather chaotic disarray, as the goblins have to toss money and food offerings into the the cave to compel the Ogre to fight for them.

The Ogre shouts the ancient battle cry, "BREE YARK!" as he attacks.

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Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

42. A laundry to remove ashes from clothes charred from recent raids.

43. A sewing shop to create clothes from cloth found in the ashes of recent raids.

44. A goblin-dog breeding kennel, patrolled by two goblins to keep the pups from escaping.

45. A nursery for raising goblin babies, patrolled by two goblin-dogs to keep the inmates . . . , er, infants from escaping.

46 In the center of community is a large pile of junk that from a certain perspective looks like a goblin. Inquiries reveal it's supposed to be a statue of the founding goblin. It's so caked with graffiti that you can't tell what it's made out of.

47. A junk shop where junk of all sorts can be bought, sold, and traded. Examples include small "gems" (really shiny stones), pieces of metal and leather, pottery shards, dirt, and a really neat stick! (Stick not for sale; sole property of owner.)

Grand Lodge

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48. Quicky mart that sells sparklers, those rats on the rotating spit (beside the register) and behind the counter smoke sticks.
In front of the quicky mart is are a set of metal animals (one a pig, the other a goblin dog), that if you hand the beggar (who is standing beside it) a copper he will kick and rock the animal for one minute while you ride it (pay an extra copper and he will make squealing and barking noises while doing this).

Scarab Sages

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49. The Kobold Embassy. Its sovereignty is securely protected by a binding treaty, and an UNBELIEVABLE quantity of traps.

50. A theater where dopplegangers put on a nightly show. "Famously rich" is about well known merchant and royal families acting very stupid.

Coriat wrote:
4. Goblin powered rickshaws to substitute for horse and carriage.

For the record, I totally used this one. As the campaign is still going (pbp and all that)...

51. The ruins of a failed attempt of making a goblin university. They shouldn't have included advanced chemistry in the curriculum.

52) an alchemis't home/shop, sells mostly alchemist fire when it's not closed for repairs between fires... the alchemist being very enthusiastic on experimenting to 'improve' his wares.

Shadow Lodge

53) A fireworks stand; that used to be a shop but they're still rebuilding from the last celebration.

54) An inn built to scale for small humanoids. Current proprietor is a drugar named Bucket Brandholder; who is as wide as the door. The menue is done in crayon pictograms.

55. Goblin Art School. The medium used includes bloody entrails, teeth, fingernails, and skin in all forms of sculpture, canvas work, and "performance" art. Sometimes the students eat the projects before they are finished.

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56. Teenage goblins rebelling, speaking in fluent sentences, and insisting that dogs can be pets, much to the chagrin of their parents.

Shadow Lodge

57. Street signs done in pictogram.

58. Lemonade stand (Trust me, you don't want to drink the "lemonade").
59. Landscapers. They only use swords though.
60. Tour Guide. Takes you to various places and gives you the history of the things killed there.

61. Rat cake, rat sorbet, rat pudding and strawberry tart (with a little rat in it)

For general ideas of this sort, get hold of the Mystara supplement "The Orcs of Thar". Name aside, it deals with all manner of humanoids, including goblins, and their culture in the Broken Lands, with such nations as Bugburbia, High Gobliny, Hobgobland and Yellow Orkia.

Dark Archive

62. The Pile. It's a pile of junk. The goblins have a sort of trade agreement with a nearby human community, to take their junk. They show up at one end of the human communities junkyard with carts and load up all the trash and junk, and cart it back to the 'The Pile,' slowly relocating the junkyard from just outside the human community a half-day away, to just outside their own community. Dozens of goblins sift through the junk in the pile every day, looking for stuff they can fix or sell or use, even if just as firewood or foodstuffs. Sometimes they fight over a particularly nice bit of junk, and then the losers stuff (and body) becomes new junk to fight over. The junkpile over at the local human community has gotten pretty bare, and the humans aren't producing trash at the rate the goblins are carting it away, so the goblins are seeking new 'customers' for whom to sell their 'trash removal services.' (Because they need more junk! And are boggled that some humans might even *pay them* to take this stuff away!)

The Pile is (apparently coincidentally) situated on the side of town from which agressors and / or violent weather events are most likely to come, and makes an effective 'town wall' or 'sea wall' for those sorts of things. Nobody believes this was intentional.

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63: The drunken Gobo. The sign out front is of a drunken goblin, with of course no words. Other monsters come here to recruit troops and or minions.

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