"I've filed a lawsuit...
"Oh like YOU've never taken anything from a dragons hoard
"What do you mean flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
"Oops
"Add water to acid your reactions stay placid...
"Those grow back
"That re attaches in your species right?
"I'm pretty sure I can turn you back
"well, we know the portal spell works...
"Horns are bad right?
"Black on red make you dead, red on yellow kindly fellow...
"Not a lethal dose...
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I can give no better example than this (the part starting at 01:53). Not Wizard's apprentices, but you'd still be scared if you were a Wizard who had to deal with this . . . .
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GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!
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GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!
I think that's the worst thing the apprentice can hear.
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"Good news! The hasted swarm of dire bookworms I summoned is now safely confined inside your library...
...Along with the enraged elder ink elemental."
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"I was in the library, the other night, In the restricted section. I read something rather odd, about a bit of rare magic. It is called, as I understand it, a Horcrux..."
I probably should have asked what that was before trying blind activation.
I recited the spell the way you showed me...more or less...::explosion:: Guess it was mostly less....
"i thought it was the cover to a heavy metal album
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"I've been reading a lot of Terry Pratchett's works lately, and I have to say, his ideas on promotions in the wizards' guild are intriguing, to say the least. This knife? Oh, nothing. Just getting ready to prepare dinner. Hey, what's that behind you?"
"When the potion turned that color, it made me drink it"
There is a short story about a guy who stops aging and is basically immortal.
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"Hey, that's only the seventh book avalanche this week!"
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Paradox can't be all that bad!
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So I've been thinking really hard about the implications of the church-turing proof...So I've been thinking really hard about the implications of the church-turing proof...So I've been thinking really hard about the implications of the church-turing proof...So I've been thinking really hard about the implications of the church-turing proof....
So I've been thinking really hard about the implications of the church-turing proof...So I've been thinking really hard about the implications of the church-turing proof...So I've been thinking really hard about the implications of the church-turing proof...So I've been thinking really hard about the implications of the church-turing proof....
All searches have resulted in stuff that has nothing to do with what you said.
It is a Laundry files joke about K-Syndrome. It is a disease suffered by sorcerers who perform mythos magic simply by running through the mathematics in their heads. If you think to hard about the underlying math, you end up openning min worm holes to other realities, where not nice things live. Those things eat out little chunks of the sorcerers brain. The disease presents like CJD.
Drat! I lost the book I was practicing explosive runes on!
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I have some wonderful news to teoo you...dad.
"Hey, a really nice kender wanted to check out your alchemy lab/extremely dangerous and forbidden library. I let her check it out. Is that okay?"
"I forgot to use the special wand to close that creepy twisty black iron portal in your study, so uhh, where does that lead to exactly?"
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"Cthulhu, I choose you!"
"Hey boss, you know how you told me not to do that thing becuz it might open a rift to a parallel dimension where everything is the same but different? Um...I kinda did that thing..."
...(words)
'No chief, i did not summon a monstrous clown, i called for a puppy.
Why?'
---------------------------
Ow.....his wife's not going to be too pleased with this, now that Carl's Carlette.
I swear i've got to pay more attention to the pie's seasonings next time.
Oh well...
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"Summoning squares are just as good as circles!"
"I got hooked on Phonics and now when I read scrolls, well... Um... You have a way to put out fires made of acids, right?"
"Some of my friends from the crystal net are coming to visit today."
"I quit. I'm gonna become a paladin instead!"
In retrospect, this might explain some of my career choices....
For Bloatmages:
"Ugh. Can't stand leeches. But don't worry, I got rid of that jar of them in the other room."
Eureka!
It's near perfection....now to find some more test subjects.
"Filthy peasants! You must fear and obey my great master! No, he doesn't care that you brought 4 Paladins, 2 Inquisitors and a Cleric!"
"I found you a unicorn horn to stir your caldron. Meet my new wife Lyra."
"Lyra's friend Twilight Sparkle came over. She rewrote the bad parts of that ritual you were working on."
Uhh, master, what would happen if I say, accidentally, mixed the glowing red potion with the glowing green potion?
Well, that will save my parents the academy tuition, but is sure going to put a dimmer on my social life.
Maybe being boneless won't be so bad....
"Apprentice Mayes here with a special Spellbook offer!"
"Uhh, Boss? Where's the mop again?"
"Are you gonna eat that?"