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I am currently running Runelords for seven players, and one of them has been amusing the group by sharing a summary from the eyes of his dim-witted barbarian...who is convinced he is a wizard due to a trait that lets him cast prestidigitation once a day, and announces spell names with every mundane action he takes. While I have asked my players to stay off the Runelords forums to avoid spoilers, everyone loved the idea of sharing these with the world.
Quick character summary:
Grognard the Arcane: CG male half-orc invulnerable rager barbarian
Ausk: CN male half-orc shadow blooded sorcerer
Wolfsister: NG female Shoanti Wolf Druid of Erastil ("Dreamseaker" until she got her wolf companion)
Doc Dimple: CN male gnome trap breaker saboteur alchemist
Chakra: CN female kitsune ninja (Mergele when in human form)
Seu Chiall: N male oracle of bones, worshiping Pharasma
Mr Pibb: LG male paladin of Sarene (who only makes it about half the time)
Hello spell book!
Grognard the Arcane has been very busy! Sandpoint have many opportunities for me to practice the arcane. Maybe it is good thing we had to leave home.
The church party was great fun!
I played so many games! There was food competition, contest to grab a slippery pig, test of strength, and drinking contest at the Pixie's Kitten. Grognard disappointed there were no half-orc ladies at Pixie's Kitten. The guards there were not friendly either - I act polite but they give angry looks at me.
I got a new wand of pain after winning test of strength! Before my attempt, I cast "Bull's Strength" and hit the pin. Guy running game was so impressed with my arcane power that he gave me masterwork earthshaker. He told me it belonged to his brother before he died. I promised to make good use of it to honor him.
I also won slippery pig! My short colorful friend Doc Dimple was upset that he didn't win any big prizes at church party. I felt bad for him and considered giving him the slippery pig. I then thought that might not be fair to the pig - Doc Dimple has an "explosive" personality! HA HA HA! At least Doc won something at the games. He is a funny little guy and Grognard glad to have new friend.
Lunch was awesome! I ate venison and it was delicious! Most people thought that the salmon was best, but hey! These are same people who thought the fish water at the bar was good. What do they know about good food?
After lunch, church have boring people talk, talk, talk. I was bored and tried hard to stay awake, but all of a sudden goblins attacked Sandpoint! We bravely battled the little goblins. Stupid things! Not strong or magical like Grognard the Arcane!
My brother Ausk, Doc Dimple, and the others helped fight the goblins and protect the town. They were surely not expecting two powerful wizards to be there to defend it! Especially Ausk - I hope to be an awesome wizard like him one day.
We captured one goblin and asked him questions. He said that a "long shank" (Ausk tell me this means human) tell them to attack Sandpoint. Seems like several goblin tribes attacked the town together. We took goblin to sheriff Hemlock and tell him what the goblin said.
After battle, town seem very happy that Grognard and others protect it from goblins. They gave us free room at the inn, free booze, and free food! Grognard was happy to help!
Speaking of food, we went hunting for boar in Tick Woods. The pale spooky man from the church and I hunted from the ground while others rode on horseback. A boar charged us! I cast "create food" and together we fell the boar. Everyone ate well that night! Boar taste almost as good as venison from party. Definitely better than the fish.
Sheriff Hemlock saw us later and asked us to come to church graveyard with him. We went there and skeletons attacked us from an open tomb. I know better than to cast "Touch of Death" on skeletons, so I cast "Disrupt Undead" and destroyed them. The strange thing was that we saw a fox lady fighting with us. We tried to find her after the battle but she was gone.
The priest there said that someone took a dead guy out of the tomb. This seems to bother him and the sheriff - it looks like the goblins attacked to distract the town while they took the body.
A human woman came to Rusty Dragon and asked us for help. Her boy was scared and convinced a goblin is in his closet but no one can find it. We asked her to wait there while we check the house.
The boy was right! A goblin was hiding there! It jumped out of the closet and I crushed it with my wand of pain. We saw that the boy's daddy was killed by this goblin and I asked for a sheet or something to cover his face. Boy should not see this! Grognard very sad. Boy should not have to grow up without daddy. We told the woman the bad news and she cried so hard. I wanted to help her and the boy so much but did not know what to do. Sheriff Hemlock offered them a place to stay for a few days.
The next day we were eating breakfast at the Rusty Dragon when a rude guy shows up and starts yelling at innkeeper Ameiko with weird words. When he got close to Ameiko, he grabbed her and said very mean things. I jumped up and grabbed him! I shouted "Stay away from the girl!" and tossed him out of the inn. He stormed off and we were glad to be rid of him!
I heard a funny story that I must share with you! Human woman named Shayliss Vinder came by to talk with Ausk about a rat problem in the basement of their shop. Ausk went there to kill the rats, but was surprised to find that Shayliss wanted him alone in the basement for other reason! My brother has all the luck with the ladies!
While they were in bed, her dad shows up all angry and yells out "What's going on in here!" Ausk then turns to him and says, "It's exactly what it looks like." Her dad then started beating him up. Ausk tried to distract him by starting a fire in the basement. Bad idea! It did not take long until my brother was knocked out cold and left pantsless hanging over the horse tie post.
The nice cook from the Rusty Dragon (I learned her name is Mergele) was lucky to find him and got help from the theater owner. It all worked out in the end! Ausk got the starring role at the theater for a new play about his basement encounter with Shayliss.
A ranger came to town who shared some bad news with Sheriff Hemlock - it looks like more goblins will attack. The sheriff said he has to go with her to check on things and wants us to watch over the town while he is gone. I am happy to help! I sat in the town square the next few days and read my spell book. This will make sure that everyone knows that a powerful wizard is protecting Sandpoint.
One morning, we came down for breakfast in the Rusty Dragon and Mergele told us that innkeeper Ameiko was missing. A note from her brother was found saying that their father had something to do with the goblin attack. It also said that she should meet with him at the Glassworks that night.
Mergele then told us that she is the fox lady we saw earlier! How about that! Mergele said to keep this secret, but I think it safe to tell you. Ausk says no one else can read what I write in you, so it should be ok. Sssssshhh!
We went to Glassworks that night and saw that goblins took it over. The stupid things were everywhere! I sneak up on them quietly and cast "Cause Fear." I saw a goblin run into a tunnel and ran after him.
The tunnel was dark, so I cast "Darkvision." I ran smack into a short girly man and almost knocked him over. I shouted to the group about the man and continued looking for the runaway goblin. He was a tough one - he kept dodging my spells but eventually went down. I then saw the girly man was attacking my friends and tried to help. After he fell, Mergele tried to get more information from him but he ended up killing himself.
Mergele said the girly man was Ameiko's brother and was also involved in the goblin attack. I am starting to think that this is bigger than it seemed - why are so many people trying to destroy their own town?
We found a journal on Ameiko's brother with some words and pictures in it. I was too embarrassed to admit that I couldn't read it. I handed it to Mergele and she read it to us. He seems to have been in love with a crazy woman who is trying to become a demon or something.
This town is insane - people who live there are trying to burn it to the ground, dig up dead guys, and turn themselves into demons. I thought I left this craziness behind me when we left home.
At least I am making new friends and get to help people in need. Also glad that Sandpoint is not the sleepy town I feared - there is adventure and excitement here. I hope that my new friends are not as crazy as some of the other locals. I mean, other than Doc Dimple. He is crazy too, but in a good way.
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Hello spell book!
Grognard has been very busy fighting evil!
After we saved Ameiko, we went back into town to get more weapons. Grognard buy new wand of pain with cold iron enchantment to fight demons!
We then returned to explore evil tunnels under Glassworks. We found evil altar, evil wash tub with dirty water, a whole load of evil stuff. Good thing we have paladin! I always ask mister paladin if stuff is evil before I touch it. Especially evil lady statue. She had very cool wand of pain but a scary face. Scary face is never good sign.
We also ran into some weird people there who talk funny. Doc Dimple is a smart guy - he told us they speak Thassilonian. He not understand them, but he says that the markings on walls mean anger and wrath.
We then found an evil pixie monster in underground church. She said that her master will be very angry with us and then cut herself. She dropped blood into the bubbly water on altar and it turn into monsters!
Grognard and friends killed the monsters and tried to catch the evil pixie. New friend Chakra (Mergele) made awesome leap into air and caught pixie in sack but it did not end well. Chakra came down and was impaled on spikes. Ouch!
Grognard was worried about Chakra and cast Bull's Strength! I then lifted Chakra off spikes and friends helped her get better. Fox lady much tougher than I thought!
Seu Chiall then cast Fear on the pixie. Seu Chiall is already scary and intimidating so Fear spell was super effective! We then all attacked the stupid pixie as she tried to fly away and disintegrated it. I asked mister paladin and he told me she was evil!
We took the stuff we found underground back to town and showed it to Sheriff Hemlock. He believes this is a big problem and we returned with Doc Dimple's genius friend to show him the place. The old guy was so excited he reminded Grognard of the time he receive his first magic wand of pain. Ah, memories!
We returned to the Rusty Dragon to relax after hard day's work. At breakfast the next morning, I noticed brother Ausk was with Shayliss again and had manacles on hands. Kinky! Ausk then tells me that he not know why he put on manacles. I first thought he pulling Grognard's leg, but then I saw Shayliss accuse him of stealing the manacles. Grognard not have much experience with this sort of sexy thing, but I think the game is over when the guards arrive. Mister paladin told guards that there was no way Ausk left Rusty Dragon to steal manacles because Ausk was with him last night. Paladin is master of truth and know right from wrong, so everyone believed him and Shayliss left. I hope Ausk and Shayliss can work this out - they are a cute couple.
After breakfast, my friends were worried about the Thistletop goblins mentioned in girly man's journal. We decide to go there and fight them. Sounds fun!
Outside Thistletop we ran into very thick briers. Dreamseeker the druid passed through a wall of briers but ran right into a surprised goblin druid. He yelled for help and cast entangle on us.
Grognard then heard a cougar roar and attack goblin dogs. The goblin druid and Dreamseeker both tried to tell cougar what to do. Dreamseeker was better druid though and she convinced cougar to kill the goblin dogs.
The goblin druid was strong! He tried to run away from us but Doc Dimple stopped him with a kaboom! He fell to the ground and surrendered but would not help us get into Thistletop. We took him prisoner, but had to later throw him off the bridge.
Why we throw goblin off bridge? Long story. To get us across bridge, Chakra decide to baleful polymorph into girly man from tunnels because he worked with Thistletop goblins and the crazy demon lady. She yelled across bridge to goblins that he had returned and they let us cross the bridge.
Just as we begin to cross bridge, Doc Dimple notice that the bridge is trapped! He yells out to warn us about trap and the goblins know that Chakra lied. Oh well! We threw the stupid goblin off bridge and returned to our side.
We came up with sneaky plan though! Doc Dimple trapped our side of bridge to only allow one of us to cross at a time. We told goblins about this so that they stay on their side.
That night, Chakra planned to cast invisibility and cross bridge to reinforce it on the other side. Crazy luck though! A goblin started to cross when Chakra was invisible on the bridge. She panicked and showed her true form to the goblin, howling like nothing I heard before. Both of them ran away, but Chakra got hit by a few arrows.
Tonight we watch the bridge again and wait for another opportunity. Grognard had to borrow bow and arrows from mister paladin during my watch because my wands of pain do not have good range. I also very worried my wand of pain could fall off bridge if the spell fails.
These goblins are a bit better than the ones we fight at Sandpoint. Still no match for Grognard's arcane fury, but they try!
Grognard is very happy to have new friends! I am not used to fitting in, but I think my new friends accept me as I am. I hope my magic powers are strong enough to keep them safe. The people of Sandpoint depend on us!
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Hello spell book!
Grognard the Arcane have such awesome friends! And each one of them have magic powers too! Except Doc Dimple, I guess. He can't cast spells like everyone else, but he super smart and can make explosives so that makes him extra cool!
The evening after Chakra was caught crossing the bridge, Doc Dimple secured it again and we sneaked into Thistletop. Brother Ausk and mister paladin (he said I can call him Mister Pibb) stayed outside to keep watch.
Magical foxgirl Chakra then cast "Alter Self" and she looked just like a goblin! She peeked inside the front door, but was noticed by the goblins. Chakra not know how to speak goblin, so she screamed and ran!
A goblin followed her out and we ambushed him. I cast "Inflict Critical Wounds" and my wand of pain took him out in one swing! Chakra did her trick again and more goblins came after her and were ambushed. Stupid goblins!
We then ran into goblin chief Ripnugget, leader of the Thistletop goblins! He yelled that I had not earned the right to be in his presence. I loudly shouted, "I am Grognard the Arcane, master of the arcane word! I demand an audience!"
Seu Chiall then rushed in and one of the goblins above leapt onto him! I saw the goblin warchanter cowering in fear in the corner and shouted, "I see that your warchanter has heard of me! Call off your guards!"
The chief did not look intimidated like the warchanter, but then Dreamseeker came in to save the day! She spoke with the chief's riding gecko and promised it freedom if it helped us. With mister gecko on our side, me and my friends easily took out the chief.
Seu Chiall then cast "Speak With Dead" and asked the dead chief where Nualia is. He told Seu Chiall that she was down in the ruins. All my friends wanted to rest up before facing Nualia, so we decided to explore other rooms first.
We found a sickly horse outside trapped behind a boarded-up door. Dreamseeker cast "Speak With Animals" and "Calm Animals" to calm the horse down. The horse looked very hurt - poor thing! We walked it back over the bridge and left it with Mister Pibb.
Back inside, we found a bathroom. This was confusing - why would goblins have a bathroom? They obviously don't use it by the look of this place. I mentioned this to everyone and we found a treasure chest behind the wall! Seu Chiall took one of the keys we found and tried to open the chest. This made a rusty blade swing right into him! Ouch!
Everyone had different idea of what to do with the chest. All of a sudden, Grognard the Arcane have another great idea! I say, "Why don't we just turn the key the other way?" I took the key from Seu Chiall and turned it the other way. The chest opened and was full of coins and cool stuff!
It was getting late, so we went back to the entrance and disabled the stairwell doors for some sleep. Grognard's arcane might was kind of depleted for the day, so I agreed to rest and replenish my spells.
Dreamseeker and me heard somebody trying to break open the stairway door in the morning. I woke everybody up and we prepared an ambush. A human fighter broke through the door and Seu Chiall and me beat him up good. He quickly gave up and told us about lots of evil stuff going on in the basement and that Nualia has a demon arm now. Creepy. We took his armor and let him go.
In one of the rooms, we found a bugbear. The bugbear attacked us and knocked out Doc Dimple and Seu Chiall. We defeated it though, and I took its mighty composite longbow. Now I can cast "Magic Missile!"
We then ran into an evil wizard lady in back room of an evil church. She cast a spell that made several copies of her appear. Cool! Seu Chiall then cast "Cause Fear." If she wasn't scared of him already, the evil wizard opened a secret passage and tried to run away. Magical foxgirl Chakra is quick and tackled her and then I cast "Hold Person" to keep her still. Brother Ausk then put manacles on her hands and feet. We noticed her angry cat familiar and I catch it in a sack. We asked her questions and find out that Nualia is down another floor. We take the evil wizard lady outside to Mister Pibb.
When we came back for Nualia, Chakra stepped on a trap and barely jumped out of the way. Crazy blades were swinging everywhere and then the floor where she had stood disappeared. That was too close! Doc Dimple disabled the trap so we could pass.
We then found Nualia and a demon dog in a small room! Grognard then hear the scariest howl he ever heard. I cast "Expeditious Retreat" and ran away as fast as I could!
A few moments later, I realize my friends might be in trouble with the scary dog! I rush back to meet them and help them defeat Nualia. The crazy demon lady is dead! We saved Sandpoint!
We found Nualia's journal in her room. I'm ashamed I can't read it, but lucky no one asked me to. The journal contains her life story and also proves that Doc Dimple didn't burn down the church. Doc Dimple was so happy!
We also found magical breastplate armor on Nualia. Grognard the Arcane has never seen magic armor before - it's so cool! My friends say it looks great on me! Now Grognard just need to find some half-orc women to woo!
Lower in the ruins, we found a room full of deep water. We saw a giant hermit crab wearing a huge crown in the water! We were so hungry after all the fighting and decided to go after it.
The crab surprised Dreamseeker and grabbed her with its claws. I ran towards the crab and cast "Forceful Hand" to free her from its claws. Dreamseeker then cast "Heat Metal" on the crab's crown. The heated crown cooked the crab and Doc Dimple landed the finishing blow.
I then cast "Shatter" with my earthshaker and broke the crab open with a mighty crunch. Delicious! The crab was even better than the venison at the church party!
After a yummy dinner, we noticed that the crown had gotten so hot that it began to melt! Seu Chiall cast "Mend" on the crown to fix it. Everyone wondered how to get the crown home but I showed them it wasn't too heavy! Grognard is happy to help!
We found a room with a magical illusion of a guy on a throne talking funny. Doc Dimple told us he was speaking Thassolonian and studied it for a long, long, long time. He take so long that Grognard almost fall asleep. He eventually figured it out and said that this guy was Runelord so and so from Thassolonia. I asked him "What's a Runelord" and he said they were leaders of Thassolonia.
Wow, what a waste of time that was! Next time, I'm going to write in my spellbook or play with my rat familiar instead of waiting around while Doc goes "Hmmmm.." and "Oh!" and "Huh...." for almost an hour!
Speaking of Whiskers, my familiar looked a little flat when I fell down the stairs last week after drinking too much at the Rusty Dragon. I was so sad that night, but then I found him in the Thistletop basement yesterday as good as new! Whiskers is stronger than he looks!
After spending WAY too much time with the talking illusion on a throne, we finally left and found a room with an arcane lock. We opened it with one of our keys and I saw an awesome room! Everyone else seemed scared, though. Maybe it was the fire pit in the middle of the room. But it looked so magical - I had to go inside!
My friends were right! A huge barghest jumped out of shadows at me. Ouch - it hurt real bad! I cast "Arcane Fury" and we beat him up good.
We then went home to celebrate! On the way, Dreamseeker told me she might be related to me and Ausk. She not look like Grognard at all. I am so confused. Maybe she got hit in the head too hard back there. She also told me to call her Wolfsister now. This still confusing, but Grognard glad that sister Wolfsister is friendly to me and brother Ausk now.
We showed Nualia's journal and all the stuff we found there to the people back in town. Grognard is happy to help save Sandpoint again!
Now it time to find a beautiful half-orc lady and settle down to raise a family. I always wanted to be respected for arcane powers and love to be a hero to town. I want to become even better wizard so that I can one day be an arcane master like brother Ausk.
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Hello spell book!
Grognard was not looking for adventure, but adventure found Grognard again!
One morning we came down for breakfast and saw Sheriff Hemlock there. Sheriff looked worried and told us about some strange murders in town. He also gave us some weird writing to Wolfsister signed "your lordship." Sounds like this guy's also a stalker. Stay away from my sister, creep!
There were several nasty murders at the sawmill. One of them was Ven Vinder's other daughter! I feel very bad for him and Shayliss. Grognard not have much family left, but would hate to lose new family of Ausk and Wolfsister or any of Grognard's new friends. Ausk not seem very broken up about it, though. Maybe Shayliss not invite Ausk to meet her family yet.
We went to the sawmill and there was a seven-pointed star carved in each of the victims' chests. Doc said it looks like an old Thassolonian symbol. This Thassolonian stuff is everywhere!
Seu Chiall kinda has a sixth sense for these things and told us undead had something to do with it. Wolfsister and I walked around and found some stinky footsteps between the sawmill and pier. It looked like they went into the water. Maybe underwater zombies?
When we got back to the sawmill, Doc Dimple, Seu Chiall, and Chakra said we should go visit some crazy guy down south who might know something. He is at a place for crazy people Doc calls an asylum. We got our horses and rode there fast.
I cast "knock" on the asylum door, but the spell failed and no one heard me. My friends said the door was unlocked, though, so Grognard not need to cast "open" this time.
The asylum manager was not happy to see us. He wanted us to leave, but Doc convinced him to let us stay and see the crazy guy. There were two tieflings who worked there - they looked pretty evil to me.
The tieflings brought down the crazy guy to see us and my friends said he has bad case of ghoul fever. He had another stalker message for Wolfsister from "your lordship." He then leapt towards Wolfsister and tried to attack her! I yelled "You will not hurt sister Wolfsister!" and cast "hold person" before he could reach her.
All of a sudden, a necromancer came up from the basement with some zombies! The tieflings then attacked us! Grognard knew they was no good!
Necromancer cast "stinking cloud" and most everybody got sick except me. I yelled out to my friends, "I didn't cast it this time!" I admit it smelled kinda bad, but Grognard can cast "stinking cloud" much better than him!
We killed the necromancer, his zombies, and one of the tieflings. We then tied up the other tiefling and I cast "sleep" on the crazy guy.
We then went upstairs and I cast "open door" to go look for the manager. All of a sudden, a rat man jumped out at Grognard! I cast "hold person" and pushed him into one of the cells to lock him up. I glad I did not need to fight rat man. He look strange and act crazy, but maybe he is just misunderstood like Grognard. Lots of people call Grognard crazy, too.
We kept looking around and Grognard found a strange looking wall. I pushed it and it moved! I then saw the manager running away and went after him. Me and my friends cornered him and Seu Chiall acted all scary and said "Just kill him. I can talk to him later."
Manager guy was very scared and admitted that he was not nice to the crazy people and wanted to watch the crazy guy turn into a ghoul. Evil guy! He also knew that necromancer was in the basement but not care because he got money from him. We locked him up in manacles so he cannot hurt them any more.
Seu Chiall told us that he will take care of the asylum. He gave some money to the tiefling we tied up and asked him to take care of the place. Seu Chiall warned him that he will be back to check on things.
Grognard is glad to have such a take charge friend around! Seu Chiall uses his scary face to his advantage and always gets the bad guys to talk. I do not think we can trust the tiefling since he is evil and attacked us, but Seu Chiall's heart is in the right place. Hopefully he is right and there not be another evil guy tormenting the insane people here.
When we left, we ran into a drunk guy on his way to Sandpoint. He was all scared and kept shouting that scarecrows were eating people and dogs down south. Very strange! Chakra asked him to tell Sheriff Hemlock that we are on the case.
Brother Ausk had the awesome idea of casting "acid splash" on any scarecrows we see to make sure they do not eat us. Ausk is so smart! Grognard so glad he came along when we left home. Thanks to him we know which scarecrows are ghouls before they can bite us!
One of the ghoul scarecrows we run into cried out when Ausk cast "acid splash." We went a little closer and the scarecrow told us he got bit by the ghouls who attacked his farm. The ghouls took his wife and children away from him.
Poor family! All of them taken away by ghouls and he have no idea where his family went!
Grognard never heard of "ghoul sickness" before we visited the asylum. I asked Doc Dimple about it since he is a doctor and all and he told me that ghoul sickness makes someone turn into a ghoul and their soul is destroyed when it happens. This is horrible!
Ausk and me both think this would be a mercy killing. Grognard is no cleric, but soul is too important to leave to chance. It much more important than some chance of living a little longer. My other friends asked the scarecrow guy what he wanted and he say he wants to try surviving the night. This worry Grognard, but it not my choice to make.
We continued on and kept a lookout for any of scarecrow guy's family. We then saw another ghoul and it was way too quick - Ausk got bit! At times like this, my special magic is no help at all. Grognard is very worried about Ausk, but he says he will be okay until he can get help back at Sandpoint. I hope so!
We then ran into another talking scarecrow who yelled out when Ausk cast "acid splash." It was the other scarecrow's wife. She was very sad because she remembered that their kids were dead. Grognard very sad too, but is a little relieved they not turn into ghouls. She wants to try to survive the night with her husband and tells us that a whole bunch of ghouls are at a nearby farm.
We went to the farm and Ausk tried to sneak around. Ausk is an awesome wizard, but is no good at sneaking like magical fox girl Chakra. The ghouls saw him looking in the window and attacked!
Seu Chiall then set the roof of the farmhouse on fire and the ghouls started running out. Grognard leaped into action and ran in to help!
One of the ghouls was very stinky and make me feel all queasy. Yuck! He smell even worse than Grognard's spell components pouch the time I find fresh ingredients for my "cloudkill" spell. Turns out the dead skunk was a little too effective and my spell backfired. Some spells are best left to the professionals. Maybe someday Grognard become even better arcane master and find way to cast "cloudkill" without needing to bathe afterwards.
We killed the ghouls, but the farmhouse fire got really bad and Grognard not know if anyone trapped inside. Grognard cast "resist elements" and ran into the burning barn. I not find anybody there, but I did find another creepy note from Wolfsister's stalker.
I showed the note to my friends and they told me that the note and the other stuff they found points to Foxglove Manor. I not good with names, but they say the place is owned by the guy who took us boar hunting in the tick woods. Sneaky guy, acting like he is good guy while he kills people and writes creepy notes to my sister! He better watch out, no one makes Grognard look like a fool!
Before we go, sister Wolfsister gave the children a proper burial. We then took Ausk and the farmers back to town to get rid of the ghoul fever. I was also very happy to hear the two scarecrows we meet survived!
On the way to Foxglove Manor, I saw what looks like "dancing lights" spell. It was exciting! I told everyone about it and we decided to get a closer look.
It turned out to be a will o' wisp! It looked really cool, but it then attacked magical fox girl Chakra! Grognard tried to protect her, but the thing was too fast. I then have a great idea and cast "web," but it resisted my spell. Me and my friends eventually brought it down though.
We finally arrived at Foxglove Manor and heard some lady crying upstairs. We head up there and started looking around. Grognard cast "knock" on door and it slammed open. Oops. The somatic components for the "knock" and "open" spells are so similar, sometimes Grognard get them confused.
All of a sudden, the crying stopped. We better hurry and find them. They could be in trouble!
We walked into a child's room and heard a child crying, even though there was no child anywhere! Wolfsister looked all shaken up and said that she just saw her parents kill each other outside! She warned us that the house is messing with our minds and we should be careful.
In another room we found lots of old paintings. Doc Dimple's a smart guy and tried to figure out who they were. When he cleaned the dust and webs off, it got really cold and the paintings changed all creepy-like. Vines then scratched our faces and gave us sores and boils. Good thing Wolfsister was there to heal us up. I think this house could be haunted!
We then found a bedroom. Oh, Grognard wishes he never went into that room. I was looking around the room, when all of a sudden I felt absolutely horrible! Grognard think he killed his wife, the person he loves most. I felt so sad and angry at myself that I decided to end it all! I grabbed the dagger off the desk and planned to stab myself in the heart.
Now Grognard know what you are thinking, spell book. Grognard not married. Grognard not even been kissed. Silly Grognard! How could Grognard kill wife when Grognard have no wife?
Grognard still confused what really happened, but it was like I was dreaming. I remember feeling people try to grapple me, but I was too strong for them and pushed them away. I also heard a voice yell "Stop!" in my head, but I would not stop. All of a sudden, I woke up from my dream, but ended up in a nightmare!
I looked up and was horrified! Sister Wolfsister had jumped in front of me and I stabbed her in the neck! Grognard did not want to hurt Wolfsister! It was all my fault! There was nothing I could do to help my sister. Arcane master, my ass, Grognard not even able to cast "cure light wounds!" I cried out in shame and sadness and fell to the ground.
Grognard is relieved to tell spell book that Wolfsister is okay now. My friends were able to heal her wound. Sister Wolfsister and my good friend Chakra told me this not my fault, but I still am very shaken up about it.
We soon ran into a lady crying in the corner. I asked her what was wrong, but she just kept on crying. Mister Pibb tried to help and moved a mirror away from her because it seemed to scare her.
After the mirror was gone, the lady shouted something about finding Aldren Foxglove and making him pay for what he did. No argument there! I was about to offer our help, but Mister Pibb shouted out that's she's evil. Good thing we have Mister Pibb around!
Mister Pibb turned the mirror back at her and smashed it! Not sure why he did that, but it sure was cool to watch! She screamed and attacked us, but Grognard and his friends were able to finish her off.
There was so much creepy stuff in the haunted house! The house seems to like to toy with us and make us do weird things.
In one room, Seu Chiall thought he had boils on his face and tried to scratch them off. Poor guy! He now looks even more scary than usual with all the scratch marks.
In another room, Chakra attacked Wolfsister and I had to cast "hold person" to break it up. Chakra then apologized to Wolfsister. Like Grognard, she did not mean to hurt her.
Another strange room made Doc Dimple think he was on fire! He tried to jump out the window, but Seu Chiall cast "forbid action" just in time for Chakra to tackle him to the ground!
The haunted house made Grognard feel all weird again in another room. It made me feel sad about not getting to travel the world. But then I realized that the haunted house was just messing with me - I am already travelling the world! Grognard and Ausk just left home not long ago!
Near the front door of the haunted house, there is a big stuffed manticore. The thing looks kinda scary, but Doc Dimple is terrified of that thing! When we were leaving, the manticore caught Doc Dimple on fire! Doc swears it moved and breathed fire at him, but no one else saw it happen. Sister Wolfsister was able to put the fire out with a "create water" spell. Little Doc looks so funny when he is wet.
All of a sudden, Ausk ran into the haunted house and said that thousands of undead ravens attacked and killed our horses. Poor Mister Eats A Lot! Grognard will miss him.
We told Ausk all about the awful stuff that happened inside in the haunted house. It was very sad telling story of how Wolfsister got hurt by Grognard. Sister Wolfsister and my good friend Chakra are kind and tried to help me feel better, but Grognard not deserve it. I know that the haunted house made me do it, but I should be able to resist it like my sister. Grognard is very strong, but Wolfsister is stronger where it counts.
It was getting late, so we decided to go get some sleep. At night, I had a nightmare that I was trapped in a house with no exits. It kept getting smaller and smaller and there was no way out! I woke up really scared and found that Doc had the same dream as me! Stupid haunted house! Leave us alone!
Neither of us could sleep after that dream, so Doc made some coffee. Grognard never heard of coffee before meeting Doc Dimple. It takes some getting used to, but I can see why Doc likes it so much. I should show Doc Dimple my "astral projection" spell sometime since he is so nice to me. Like coffee, the opium takes some getting used to, but the experience is unforgettable!
The next day, we found a room with an old piano. All of a sudden, the piano began playing itself and Ausk was swung around the room like he was dancing. I was worried and cast "forceful hand" to free him. For some reason, Ausk seemed upset that I saved him. He said something about dancing with a pretty girl. Maybe she looked like Shayliss to him - it has been a long time since he got to see her. Poor guy.
We entered the basement and found a kitchen. While looting the place, lots and lots of rats started running in through three small holes in the wall! Doc Dimple yelped! I felt bad for him because he so small - rats must look huge to him! I helped him up on top of my shoulders and Doc cast a "minor image" spell, making it look like there was a huge horde of feral cats. Good idea, but I think that it not as scary when the rats not smell or hear the cats. Good thing I picked up some alchemist's fire in town! I cast "fireball" at the rats and many of them got cooked. Wolfsister killed another group of the rats by casting "flaming sphere" and Doc finished them off with a bomb.
We continued on and found a room filled with books. All of a sudden, Chakra got all scared and ran out of the room. Wolfsister and I were able to tackle her though and my "hold person" spell kept her still until Mister Pibb could cast "remove fear." When we got back to the book room, Ausk told us he thinks the books are about how to turn into a litch. Not good.
We then headed down more stairs and ended up in some underground tunnels. We found a freaky huge flying bat thing and Doc threw a tanglefoot bomb at it, sticking it to the ground. Thanks to Doc, it was easy to finish off.
There were so many ghouls underground that we had to fight through, but we eventually ran into Aldern Foxglove. He turned his chair to us and said, "Greetings."
Greetings??? After you kill all those people and act all creepy to my sister? Grognard has had enough of this!
I saw what looked like a phylactery on the floor next to him. Maybe Aldern is a litch? I ran over and quickly cast "shatter" on his phylactery. This not seem to do anything, but then he saw Wolfsister and started calling her "my love." What nerve!
Wolfsister said to him, "You are in no pack of mine." This made Aldern angry! Chakra noticed that he was about to attack us and stabs him in the back! He fell to his knees crying and asked us for help. Fat chance of that!
He kept talking in different voices and seemed to have several people inside him. Crazy guy! Who are we talking to - the old Aldern, evil murderer Aldern, or creepy stalker Aldern? Whoever he is, he's an evil guy. We worked together and Ausk finished him off with "flaming sphere" and "magic missile."
There was a note on Aldern from someone named Xanesha. It seems like Aldern was doing some ritual on the people he killed - maybe the seven-pointed star? Xanesha also somehow made him undead. Doc says we might find out more at Aldern's house in Magnimar.
Grognard is just relieved that we are all safe and can get out of this haunted house soon. Good friends stick together and I plan to stand by my friends like they have always stood by me.
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
This is awesome! Seems like you have lots of fun playing the AP.
Thanks for sharing.
More to come. Once I get caught up he writes these about every other month.
Hello spell book!
So much has happened since Ausk and me arrived in Sandpoint only a short time ago! Definitely not the quiet life I expected, but I made some great friends and get to use my magic to help people!
I was very glad to put the creepy haunted house behind me though. No happy memories there - just sad ones.
The undead ravens who ate Mister Eats a Lot were still waiting outside the haunted house. Doc threw some bombs at the stupid things so we could finally leave. Rest in peace, Mister Eats a Lot.
We stopped at the asylum on the way north so Seu Chiall could check on the tiefling. The tiefling said he was very busy, but doing okay. I still do not trust the guy, but maybe he not as evil as most tieflings. At least he not have zombies in the basement - Grognard made sure of that before we left.
We got to Sandpoint and cured Ausk's ghoul fever. Yea! We then went shopping for horses. All of the horses liked Wolfsister, but they seemed afraid of me. Maybe it was my awesome hat.
Grognard have trouble picking out a horse. Mister Eats a Lot was a good horse with such a great appetite - it was rough looking for a new horse so soon after losing him. I decided to cast "mount" and trust in my magic to pick the right horse. The first horse resisted my spell and knocked me to the ground. I then cast "mount" again and this time the spell worked!
We then left for Magnimar with the new Mister Eats a Lot. Magnimar is far away, so I cast "feral speech" so that we could get to know each other better on the long journey. Mister Eats a Lot told me that he loves my awesome hat and thinks that magic is the best thing ever. I told him that I feel the same way and hope that we will be great friends.
When we arrived in Magnimar, we met with some priests of Pharasma. Seu Chiall told them all about the evil haunted house. They plan to send some powerful wizardy people and fighters to the place. Grognard is glad the haunted house won't be messing around with people's heads no more.
People here in Magnimar do not seem to trust us. Kinda makes sense to me, though. Seeing six powerful wizards and a colorful-haired bomb guy must be pretty intimidating.
When we got to the Foxglove townhouse, I was shocked! Aldren's fat wife from the haunted house answered the door and invited us inside! We asked if she has a twin or something, but she told us no. Aldren then came to the door too! This was no good at all!
For some weird reason, my friends decided to go inside with him. Grognard was not going to let that creepy stalker get close to my sister! I decided to go inside with them, just so I can keep an eye on Aldren.
We then sat down in the dining room to talk with that creep and his wife. I kept my eyes fixed on Aldren to make sure he stayed away from sister Wolfsister. All of a sudden, I heard Doc yell out and saw that he was stabbed in the back by some faceless monster! I knew this was a bad idea!
I grab my magical wand of pain and leap up on the table. Whoops! The table flipped over toward me and plates and silverware went everywhere! Some of the stuff hit Doc and hurt the little guy. Sorry, buddy!
We then killed one of the faceless things and the other one tried to run away. Chakra and Seu Chiall knocked it out and we found out the monsters were working for Xanesha and her seven brothers.
Sister Wolfsister found some papers in Aldren's townhouse. She said that one paper is the deed to the haunted house (she told me it shows who owns the place) and the others say that someone goes to the Seven's Sawmill every week with some money. I am proud to have such a smart sister. With name like that, Xanesha's seven brothers might own this sawmill - could mean trouble!
We heard that murders with the seven-pointed star are happening here like in Sandpoint. We went to a bar to ask the gravedigger about the people who got killed. Chakra bought him some drinks, but I think he had a few too many because he kept hitting on her. Chakra stopped him and said something about preferring her men dead.
This is confusing. I know that magical fox-girl Chakra not always easiest person to get along with, but I never knew that she hates men. At least, I thought that we were all friends. Or maybe she meant that she is an awesome wizard and fighter who kills lots of bad guys. I like that idea better! But why then would she think this would make the drunk guy leave her alone? Most half-orcs I know would be attracted to a strong mate. Are human folk different?
Spell book, I just thought of something! Maybe Chakra did not actually tell the gravedigger she likes to kill bad guys. Maybe she has feelings for Seu Chiall! He looks creepy to me, but he also looks about as close to dead as they come. And Seu Chiall has been hitting on Chakra ever since we left Sandpoint! Maybe he is just really good at this and Chakra now finds him charming! If so, Grognard wishes them the best. Grognard never have luck with the ladies. Maybe Seu Chiall will be willing to help me with the whole romance thing. It clearly is not done the way I thought.
The next morning, Chakra and sister Wolfsister went to check on the horses. Grognard was eating breakfast and not know this until I heard them scream! Me and my friends ran to help and found a creepy looking guy with a straw hat fighting them in the barn. Doc yelled out that it's a flesh golem. I never heard of such a thing and hoped that it was not immune to magic. No such luck for the golem - my magic beat him up pretty bad. Ausk had a great idea and broke his scythe with the "shatter" spell!
The flesh golem tried to run away and started hitting the side of the barn with his broken scythe until the roof fell down on his head. Stupid golem!
Grognard was very happy that sister Wolfsister and Chakra were both safe! I was still very hungry, so I started back toward the inn for breakfast but found a lot of people outside the barn looking at the mess. The innkeeper thanked us for killing the monster, but said we were no longer allowed to stay at his inn, even though the stupid golem knocked down the roof. This made me a little upset, but the innkeeper still let me finish my breakfast so I let it slide. My friends say I am a bear in the morning until I get some breakfast.
Nobody knew what the golem was. Mister Paladin told me it was evil, but Doc says that golems cannot be evil. Says who?!? Stupid golem tried to kill my friends - sounds pretty evil to me!
Doc said we should go to a library to find out more about the thing. Grognard not really care what it was, but hey, my friends say it important so it must be important. As brother Ausk sometimes says, I should just trust in my magic and leave everything else up to him and my friends who know best.
At the library, Doc asked the human at the counter if they have books about flesh golems. The nice lady seemed creeped out and asked us to leave. Maybe she thought Doc was trying to make a flesh golem. Lady not know him very well - Doc not likes to make things, he likes to blow things up!
Chakra calmed the lady down and offered some coin for help. We had to wait a long time for them, but Grognard not care. Libraries are for books, right? Grognard have spell book, so I decide to sit there and study magic. Some other humans at the library looked at me funny, though. They really did not like my rat familiar and whined about diseases he could be carrying. Why they not notice my wizard hat? Familiars not carry disease! Whiskers is clean as a whistle. I mean, he stinks a bit, yeah, but no disease! My friends finally came back and said we could leave.
We then went to the Seven's Sawmill. In case Xanesha's brothers gave us trouble, I pulled out a pair of glasses from my pack and cast "disguise." I then told all my friends not to worry, as it was still me.
We went into the sawmill and soon ran into some workers there. Grognard had to think quick! I made up a human-sounding name and said, "Hello! I am Mister Herbert Boggsworth! I am from a few days journey south of here and my friends and me are looking for work."
The workers said it not safe to be there and told us to talk to the manager. Once we left, Doc cast "invisibility" and Chakra and him sneaked back inside.
Grognard had a bad feeling this. Not too worried about Doc, but Chakra wasn't using her magic! You should never let your magic go to waste!
Only a minute later, somebody noticed Chakra inside. Grognard know this because all of a sudden I heard Doc Dimple yelling for help near the front door! I ended my "disguise" spell and ran over to help. Hold on Doc, Grognard's coming!
When we got there, Seu Chiall cast "fly" on Doc and I saw him float up into the air!
All of a sudden, Grognard saw lots of people with weird masks pouring out of the sawmill! They were attacking my friends!
While Grognard casting spells left and right, I notice that one of them is the girly man we captured under Glassworks in Sandpoint! Then someone with a fancier mask than the others came down the stairs. I thought he must be one of Xanesha's brothers, so I went after him.
Doc kicked himself off the building wall and threw a bomb inside - kaboom! Smoke then started pouring out of sawmill. Fire! All of a sudden, Doc fell out of the sky! Seu Chiall's spell must have worn off! Luckily, he fell into the water and Chakra jumped in to save him.
Brother Ausk was awesome in the battle! He kept casting "burning hands" and "fireball" close to Grognard, but my "resist energy" spell is cast with permanence and kept me safe.
I then saw the evil wizard lady who worked with Nualia! She cast "ray of enfeeblement" on Grognard! All of a sudden, all my arcane might seemed to leave me. I felt almost as weak as little Doc Dimple! Well, maybe not that weak, but it makes the story better. I decided to have a wizard's duel with her and cast "arcane fury!"
The evil wizard must have been scared to fight a wizard's duel with Grognard because she quickly cast "invisibility." Brother Ausk was a big help to Grognard and used scroll of concealment to find the cowardly wizard. He pointed at her and I went running full speed with my arms outstretched, casting "forceful hand." I smacked into her shoulder and then she tried to run away. Why was she still avoiding our wizard's duel? Good thing Wolfsister, Doc, and Ausk were nearby. They were able to catch up to her and finish her off.
The sawmill fire was getting out of control, so sister Wolfsister cast a spell she called "quench" which put out the fire completely! That spell was awesome!
My friends and me then chased after Mister Fancy Mask and took him alive for questioning. We later found out that this guy was a judge in Magnimar named Ironbriar and that the other people with weird masks were Skinsaw cultists!
After the battle, sister Wolfsister found some ravens at top of the sawmill. They told her about some evil snake lady in a clock tower under the giant bridge. We thought it might be Xanesha.
Mister Pibb told us we might be in trouble with the city since Ironbriar is a judge. He said we should go check out the clock tower, but he was going to stay where he was to make sure they knew what really happened at the sawmill.
At the clock tower, Ausk guarded the door while we went in. There was a huge spiral staircase inside! Doc told us to be careful because it was in bad shape and could fall if we walk too close together. I know that snakes have great senses, so I went up the stairs all sneaky-like.
Crash! A giant bell fell from the top of the tower, smacking into Seu Chiall and knocking out part of the stairs! Grognard glad that Seu Chiall was able to grab on tight to the stairway!
I cast "true seeing" to figure out what knocked the bell down, but my spell was unsuccessful. They must have had some kind of magical concealment!
I asked my friends about it and they saw a faceless monster up there drop the bell. I led our group up the stairs and we fought the faceless monsters.
All of a sudden, a flying demon appeared near the rooftop. Wolfsister shouted out that it was an illusion, but it looked pretty real to me!
I pulled out my bow and cast "magic missile" at the demon but it went right through it, landing in the roof of a building below. This was really confusing! I shouted to my friends, "But my magic missiles never miss!"
The evil snake lady Xanesha then appeared out of nowhere right next to Doc and stabbed him with a spear! It looked like there were seven of her!
My magic missile had somehow missed the flying demon so something was obviously wrong here. Maybe Wolfsister was right! I decided to trust my friends and go after the evil snake lady.
The snake lady must have cast a "mirror image" spell. After we took out each of the fake Xaneshas, Seu Chiall cast "forbid action" and prevented her from attacking us. This must have scared her because she started to fly away. Chakra was able to shoot her out of the sky, though, and the evil snake lady fell dead outside.
We found some note in the room from the snake lady's sister. Chakra read the note and it sounds like they are both involved with the strange murders. Xanesha's sister is at a place called Turtleback Ferry.
When we got back, Mister Pibb said it looks like Judge Ironbriar has been leading the Skinsaw cult for 100 years! Wow, he's old! A few days ago he was killed in jail, probably by some bad guys who were angry he got caught.
Mister Pibb then asked us to meet with the lord mayor to help clear our names. We showed him the letter from Xanesha's sister with a list of her targets. He saw that his name was on the list and fainted! What kind of weak mayor is this? He would not last a day ruling Urgir or any other town back home.
The lord mayor then gave us lots of gold. He said it was for helping the city, but I think he just worried about saving his own skin. We told him we were going to Turtleback Ferry and he asked us to check on some nearby fort that they not hear from.
We decided to pick up supplies before we left. I bought a cool cloak of resistance and a handy haversack! We also divided up the loot and my friends said I could take the cool mask we pulled of the evil snake lady! Now I can cast "flesh to stone!"
The elven ranger Shalelu heard that we were going to Turtleback Ferry and asked to come along with us. I was glad she was coming along - I want to get to know her better.
We were ready to leave for Turtleback Ferry, but Doc was scared to ride the boat. Ausk got him to come aboard by saying he could fish with his bombs. Grognard not so sure this is good idea. What is wrong with simple hook and line?
It was a ten day journey there. Doc asked me for my fishing net to help him fish. I think what Doc is doing should not be called fishing, but he is good friend and I not think my "web" spell would be needed until we got there.
As soon as we step off of the boat at Turtleback Ferry, Doc Dimple asked the dockworker about finding a brothel. The dockworker told him something about the sin ship sinking about a month ago and how he was glad it was gone. For some reason, Doc kept pestering him about it. After a while I got frustrated and shouted, "The guy said the boat sank!" I do not know why this so important to Doc. I know he seems lonely, but he also not seem to notice when a nice girl is interested in him. Like that one gnome girl from the Glassworks in Sandpoint - she was just his size and was crazy for him at the church party, but Doc ran away and hid! I need to be a good friend and keep an eye out for someone who would be a good match for him. Maybe she will even like explosives!
It is very late now, but in the morning we will be leaving to check on the fort. Shalelu is very concerned about the missing ranger. I hope that he's safe.
This little town reminds me of Sandpoint and makes me miss our time there. Turtleback Ferry is smaller than Sandpoint, but is a whole lot better than Magnimar. Those giant human cities just not feel right to me. It much too big for me to get to know people well. Why do humans choose to cram themselves into such crowded places? Grognard much rather have nice home with nature and good friends around me. And the church parties there are great fun! I hope we can all go back home to Sandpoint when this is all over. Most of my friends live there, so it's where I want to be.
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Hello spell book!
Grognard made a new friend!
We met Shalelu a long time ago back in Sandpoint, but never got time to get to know her better until our boat ride to Turtleback Ferry. Shalelu said she is worried about her step-dad who left after her mom died in a dragon attack. Shalelu thinks he might be with some rangers called the Black Arrows near Fort Rannick, where the wimpy lord mayor asked us to check.
Shalelu knows everything about goblins and has lots of cool stories! I decided to share a funny story with her about how everybody mistakes my familiar for a common rat. It so obvious that Whiskers is no ordinary rat. He survived so many close calls, even that one time I fell down the stairs at the Rusty Dragon and thought I smashed him a bit. Sure enough, I found him good as new in the Thistletop basement! His magic keeps him going!
My story did not seem to brighten Shalelu's mood. She smiled, but it looked like she felt a little awkward, kinda like she not know what to say. That is okay! Grognard sometimes gets a little shy around new people too! I then told her all about my new horse, Mister Eats a Lot, and how we talked for hours on the way to Magnimar with help of my "feral speech" spell. Who knew my horse and me had so much in common!
She still seemed a little uncomfortable - maybe my awesome hat is intimidating. I then pulled out you, my magical spell book! I know I usually not show you to other people, but she is a fascinating elf lady who looked like she needed some cheering up. I told her all about my spells and shared some of our adventures. She laughed a bit at my stories, even a few that I never thought were funny! I felt happy I could cheer her up.
The day after we got to Turtleback Ferry, we rode our horses toward Fort Rannick. New Mister Eats a Lot is not eating enough. Old Mister Eats a Lot would always stop here and there to eat everywhere we went, but not new Mister Eats a Lot. Maybe he is not feeling well. I want my friends to cast a Restoration spell on Mister Eats a Lot, but they keep telling me he is fine.
On the way there, Wolfsister stopped us and said she heard a firepelt cougar. We decided to check it out and found the cougar in a rusty old leg-hold trap. Shalelu seemed to know the cougar and said it is good friends with her step-dad. All of a sudden, dogs ran out of the woods at us!
Grognard really likes dogs, but these dogs were not nice and tried to hurt us and the cougar! A big half-ogre soon showed up and was very angry we freed the cougar! He must have noticed my awesome wizard hat because he suddenly look kinda scared and ran away. Ausk was a quick thinker and cast "create pit" to catch him. Wow! Brother Ausk must know some powerful metamagic - it takes me much longer to cast that spell!
Ausk asked the ugly half-ogre what happened to the ranger and he said they got him fair and square. The half-ogre then threw his spear out of the pit and hit Ausk! That lucky shot was the last bit of luck the half-ogre had that day.
Seu Chiall then shouted, "Call out the monkeys!" and cast "ghost sound!" It sounded like the half-ogre was surrounded by crazy monkeys! Grognard almost felt bad for the guy in the pit. Almost.
After we fight the stupid half-ogre, Wolfsister healed up the firepelt cougar. She talked to the cougar and it told us all about the ogre house and showed us the way there. Sister Wolfsister is awesome with animals!
When we got close to the house, an extra ugly half-ogre dashed out at me from the cornfield! I first thought he was another one of those undead scarecrows and was a little scared, but he was just another half-ogre. We finished him off and kept moving.
The first thing Grognard notice when we got close to the house was the smell. It was so awful! I mean, it was much worse than any "stinking cloud" spell could ever hope to be. Even my failed attempt at the "cloudkill" spell didn't smell this rotten!
We first checked out the barn and found three more half-ogres guarding the place. My friends and I had no trouble fighting them. Chakra then sneaked behind the door upstairs to look around and told us four people were locked up in cages near a huge ogre spider!
Chakra offered to go invisible and sneak the prisoners out. Everyone seemed to think this is a good idea, but I ask Chakra, "This spider you saw... he is hungry, right? We got three giant half-ogres here. Why don't we just throw them in to the spider so it not hungry any more and leaves us alone?" My friends thought this was a great idea! I dragged the three heavy half-ogres up the stairs and threw them to the ogre spider. I then went inside and carried out the prisoners. The spider was too busy with the half-ogres to notice me!
On the way out, I noticed the scrawny ranger had tattoo of the evil seven-pointed star we see everywhere. I told my friends about it and we decide to hogtie him. I offered to cast "rope trick", but Chakra told me she can do it better. Seven-pointed star is always bad sign - best to be safe!
The prisoners were in really bad shape and most were unconscious. One of them had an eye-patch and seemed to be somewhere between dreaming and awake. He saw Shalelu and said, "Thank goodness you're here, Seanthia!" Shalelu looked really upset when he said that and stormed off. Shalelu later told us he is her step-dad and Seanthia is her mom's name.
My friends cleaned and bandaged up the Black Arrows' wounds. We left them in the barn until it was safe and went over to the house.
I know that I usually describe everything that happens on our adventures, but I want to forget about all the creepy stuff in that house. It was not a haunted house like the other place, but there were so much there I just not want to think about. Let me just say that no one should ever confuse half-orcs with half-ogres. Ever. I know some of my kind are violent, angry brutes. Heck, it one of the many reasons I left home! But they be aasimars compared to the half-ogres who lived there.
Traps were everywhere inside the house. Grognard so glad to have Doc with us - he is a master with traps!
Inside one of the rooms, we found a super fat half-ogre with three half-ogre zombies. Not again with the zombies! She started yelling curses and the zombies attacked us. She cast "mirror image" after that and all of a sudden, the room felt so much more cramped than before.
I very surprised to see her casting spells. Where is her wizard hat? Heck, where are the rest of her clothes? She obviously is very new at this. Sure enough, she was a crummy wizard and none of her spells ever worked. Magical fox girl Chakra showed her some real magic and finished her off.
We kept looking around until Mister Pibb found a room with stairs to the basement. He told us about it, but warned the room had lots of evil, disgusting stuff inside. I not want to know what worse than what we already seen. Doc used a bore bomb so we can go downstairs without seeing the room. Thanks, Doc!
We saw some old, rotten vegetables downstairs. All of a sudden, they started moving and come together into some weird plant monster!
Chakra threw a poison bomb at the plant monster. The monster then grabbed Doc with its tentacles and started pulling him into the poison cloud! Hold on, Doc, Grognard's coming! I ran over and cast "forceful hand" to get him free.
All my friends kept attacking the plant - Ausk cast "burning hands", Wolfsister cast "lightning bolt", and Doc cast his fishing net. Ha ha! I kid, I kid! He was throwing bombs. I just like to pick on him since he the only one who cannot cast spells. Doc is great friend and I just tease him in good fun. Come to think of it, Doc fishes with his bombs, so maybe that not so far from the truth.
The plant monster was a tough cookie! It hit brother Ausk and paralysed him! Oh no! I was very worried that the plant might grab him too and ran over to drag him to safety. That was close!
When we finished with the basement, Chakra told us she wanted the poison from the ogre spider. Why did I go to the trouble of distracting the spider again? Oh well! Chakra is good friend, so we head back to the barn to kill the ogre spider. At least I got to use my Medusa Mask and cast my new spell, "flesh to stone!" My spell was totally awesome and let me easily take down the spider with my wand of pain. Chakra got her poison, but looked disappointed that there not much of it. Maybe spiders that big not need much poison to do the job.
With the giant spider and creepy half-ogres dead, we had time to heal up the Black Arrows and figure out why the scrawny one had that creepy star tattoo.
Healing spells went all around, but the one female was still really injured. I hope she will be okay.
Grognard then cast "true seeing" on the prisoners to figure out who we was dealing with. Like most humans, they had weird names. The first guy was a human male with an eye-patch and turned out to be Shalelu's step-dad. I think he said his name was Jack or something. The second human had a lot of axes and called himself Vale. The third human was the scrawny one with the evil tattoo. He looked like a pirate and said his name was Kaven. Too bad he not have an eye-patch like Jack! He needs a better pirate name though - it sounds like a tunnel fell down on him.
When Kaven came to, we asked him about the tattoo and he said he just likes astronomy. I asked brother Ausk and he told me this means the stars in the sky. Sounds fishy to me - no stars that I ever seen look like that. Seu Chiall cast "zone of truth" and told us Kaven was lying. Seu Chiall was all intimidating and told Kaven he will kill him and question his ghost if he not tell him what he need to know. Seu Chiall always makes them talk. What other choice do they have?
Kaven was really scared and told Seu Chiall he got the tattoo on the Paradise, the brothel boat Doc kept asking about.
Chakra is very clever fox girl and told us she thinks the tattoos marked people for sacrifice before the boat sank! Good thing the boat sank before Doc got to visit!
We told Kaven all the bad stuff about the seven-pointed star and said he need to get rid of the tattoo right away. He not seem to believe us, though.
I then noticed that Chakra was sweet-talking to Kaven. I first thought she was just getting on his good side, but it looked like she was really attracted to him.
I felt really bad for Seu Chiall. Poor guy just got together with Chakra and she already is flirting with other guys. I mean, I know Kaven looks like an awesome pirate and all even without the eye-patch, but still!
I then looked over at Seu Chiall and notice he looked really happy while Chakra was flirting with Kaven. I mean, really, really happy. This extra confusing! Are Chakra and Seu Chiall into some really kinky stuff that Grognard not want to know about? Maybe I looking into this too much. Chakra and Seu Chiall must just have very trusting relationship and not get jealous. I impressed that they trust each other so completely. I usually a little scared to trust people I just met like that, but there I was back on the boat, showing my spell book to Shalelu and not worrying if she would laugh at me. Maybe someday I will find someone I can trust like that. Maybe Shalelu, maybe someone else, but either way it will happen some day. I still need to find the courage to ask Seu Chiall for some romance tips. If a foxy lady can fall for a guy who looks like he have one foot in the grave, maybe Grognard still has a chance.
Chakra called me over and asked me to keep an eye on Kaven until she came back. I cast "arcane sight" and stared at him with my arcane gaze! I could not detect any magic on Kaven, but stared at him for several minutes in case he tried to escape. He seemed a bit bothered by this - he must have something to hide!
I then noticed Kaven trying to crawl away! I quickly cast "hold person" and kept my arcane gaze on him.
Chakra finally came back so I could rest my arcane sight. All of a sudden, Seu Chiall shouted, "He's a dead man!" and my friends ask me to hold him down so they can cut off his tattooed hand before they kill him! Whoa, what did I miss here? I shouted, "Wait, wait, hold up! What is going on?"
My friends told me Kaven betrayed all the rangers at Fort Rannick and works for the snake lady's sister! I knew he was hiding something! I not like the sound of this, but Sister Wolfsister always knows best. If she think he is guilty, he must be guilty.
That evening, Jack apologized to Shalelu for how he left without saying anything after her mom died. Jack said he was so broken up and did not know what to do without her. He just wanted to escape but was wrong and wishes he died with her that day.
Grognard felt sorry for both of them. I understand why Shalelu was so angry, but am glad Jack wants to be in her life again.
All of a sudden, Shalelu punched him right in the face and then gave him a big hug! Grognard likes her spirit!
Jack asked Shalelu to take the injured woman back to the city for healing and sent Mister Pibb along to protect her. I glad he cares so much about keeping Shalelu safe, but she seem not to like it. Grognard must try hard to protect Jack at the fort with my magic. I not want him to get hurt and make Shalelu sad again.
We have a big night ahead of us. Jack and Vale seem to know everything there is to know about the fort and my friends are all busy planning the attack. I try to help them, but this really not my thing. As Ausk always remind me, I need to leave the thinking to him and the others who know better and focus on my magic. I just hope I have the right spells prepared!
It sounds like we will sneak into hidden tunnels and take fort by surprise! Sounds exciting! I better go check on Whiskers before we head out. He got into my spell components pouch again this morning and I think he ate something that not agree with him. Maybe next time he will be more careful before eating the old bread crumbs. "Summon swarm" will not cast itself, you know!
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Hello spell book!
We saved both Fort Rannick and Turtleback Ferry! I am very happy that the people in Turtleback Ferry are safe, but I still upset about the whole evil demon thing at the dam. But I am jumping ahead of myself. You want to hear of Grognard's great adventure, right?
Well, we were all around the campfire at night, preparing to attack the fort, when Wolfsister asked how we feel about her casting "reincarnate" on us if we die. This sounded like a very important question, so I asked if I would still be a wizard. Wolfsister said I still would be Grognard but might look different or not be as strong. At least she never said any of my magic would go away. Maybe this would not be so bad. Even though I like being Grognard, I told her that spell is okay if there is nothing else they can do to help. Sister Wolfsister is a good friend and will know what is best.
A little later, we headed out to Fort Rannick and sneaked into some hidden tunnels Jack told us about. Sister Wolfsister cast "polymorph" and turned into a worg. A little further in, she and her wolf smelled something undead down a side tunnel.
We went in and an undead spectre jumped out of the wall at us! No biggie, though, we killed it quick. Then again, I not sure if you can kill something that is undead. It disappeared, but where does it go? Does it go to afterlife? If it is already dead, why was it not in afterlife before now? Did it get lost? If it needed us to get it to the afterlife, why is it angry at us? Or did it pick a fight with us because it knew it would lose? I have so many questions, but Ausk never seem too happy to answer them. Grognard's other friends might know, but I not want them to think me stupid.
We then got to the end of the tunnel near the fort. Wolfsister was great and kept casting "lightning" at the ogres on watch. Ausk then cast some awesome new spell which made dark tentacles come out of the ground and grab two of the ogres on watch. Cool! I want to learn that one, but Ausk told me that my special arcane powers are no good at that domain. Ausk is a more powerful caster than me, so he must be right. Oh well, at least I still the best wizard at casting "stinking cloud!"
Lots of orcs were inside. My magic was strong and I cast my spells with haste, killing one of the biggest ones with my first "inflict critical wounds" spell and another one around the corner with my second.
These ogres really messed up the place. I was glad that we not have to clean this place up afterwards.
We went into the basement and when I opened the door I found a red-haired human woman. She looked kinda pretty for a human and welcomed us in for a drink.
This did not seem right. I felt a little intimidated and was about to ask Seu Chiall for help, since he is so good with the ladies. But wait! I then noticed she had a creepy star amulet! I told her I would be right back.
I cast "message" to tell my friends about the amulet. They shushed me and said to be quiet. I must have cast the spell wrong somehow - sorry guys!
I then went back in and asked her name. She said her name was Lucrecia and said she thinks we met her sister, Xanesha. Not the snake lady's sister! I told her, "Yes, I think we did meet her once." I really hoped that her and Xanesha's seven brothers weren't hiding somewhere too!
All of a sudden, Chakra threw in a poison bomb! Lucrecia turned into a snake lady like Xanesha and went out the door!
I ran after her and we fought. She was so fast! She hit me a bunch at first, but then I cast "Arcane Fury" and my magic overpowered her. She was in pretty bad shape, but she then vanished! Seu Chiall told us she cast "dimension door."
She was not getting away that easy! I started to book it and run through the poison cloud to go look for her. Ausk stopped me and told me to wait for everyone else. It was frustrating, but he was right. Grognard may be awesome wizard, but he needs his friends by his side!
Seu Chiall cast a powerful healing spell and I felt much better. I went upstairs to the first door and Ausk told me to get ready because he was going to cast "open" on the door. I was just about to remind him that I know that spell too, when the door unexpectedly opened and a giant ogre cut me bad with his ogre hook. Ouch! I cast "bear's endurance" to shake off the pain and helped my friends defeat it.
This room was really creepy. It looked like it used to be some sort of shrine, but it now had all sorts of weird stuff in it, kinda like someone was really into taxidermy but had no idea what they were doing. It really bothered Wolfsister and she kept growling and cursing at the dead ogre.
Mister Pibb shouted that reinforcements were coming! There was an ogre wizard and a really strange looking one with a metal jaw! I never saw anything like it - how does he even eat with that thing? Who could have thought that jaw was a good idea? Maybe he never took good care of his teeth.
We were busy with the ogres when all of a sudden, the snake lady showed up again! Seu Chiall pulled out Xanesha's head and shouted, "Hey, I brought your sister!" Grognard was so surprised! I had no idea he kept her head! I know he can be really creepy and all, but I thought Pharasma was all about respecting the dead and all that stuff. Not to mention, it must really make his handy haversack smell bad.
Lucrecia saw the head, but said, "She always was an idiot." Most of my friends were busy fighting the ogres, so I went after Lucrecia - she was not getting away again!
All of a sudden, Wolfsister cast "geyser" and super hot, boiling water came out of the ground and threw the snake lady into the air! The hot water burned me too! Ouch!
I was getting a little worried. Those ogres we kept fighting were really taking it out of me. Everything hurt and all of Grognard's friends were far away fighting the ogres.
Seu Chiall rushed over to heal me, but Lucrecia hit him on the way over! Poor guy! He got really hurt trying to help me. Seu Chiall looks creepy, but people should not be so scared of him. Well, maybe SOME people should be scared. His appearance comes in handy fighting bad guys.
Ausk is a smart guy! He cast "create pit" under the snake lady. She had nowhere to go when the ground disappeared and fell into the geyser again! The geyser shot her up into the air again and down into the pit!
Lucrecia must not be a watersnake, because the water kept rising higher and higher in the pit and she had nowhere to go. She kept trying to cast "dimension door," but failed every time.
Grognard knows it can be hard casting spells under pressure. Like that one time I borrowed Ausk's cloak and it got a bunch of holes in it. Oh, I kept casting "mend" over and over again, but it kept looking worse and worse the more I tried! I knew I should never have used it as a bed for Whiskers! He looked sick and I wanted to make sure he was comfortable and got some rest. I not know he would eat holes in Ausk's cloak! I felt real bad and told brother Ausk what happened, but he said it was no big deal. He is a really good pal.
Doc finished the snake lady off with a tanglefoot bomb which pinned her to the ground in the pit. The water did the rest.
I ran back to help the others with the ogres. All of a sudden, I heard Doc yelling out in pain that he got really hurt and is bleeding! Oh no!
I was not sure what I could do for him, but Doc is a good friend and Seu Chiall already saved me several times today. I shouted out to him, "Hold on Doc, Grognard's coming!"
I rushed in and asked Doc what happened and who hurt him. He was cowering on top of the dining room table. Poor guy! I checked him and he looked like he was at death's door! He needed help right away! I was so afraid my friend might die.
I cast "prestidigitation" to clean Doc's wounds and called out for a healer. All of a sudden, Doc started yelling that I made him scared over nothing and that he was fine. This was confusing and made me very upset! I shouted that he was the one who was screaming he was hurt! What was he angry at me for? Seu Chiall then shouted at us, "Get in here!' I left to help the others because Doc OBVIOUSLY must not need my help.
After the battle, we found a scroll on Lucretia with the names of people who got the evil star tattoo. I not able to read it, but there was so many names! Everybody thinks we should get it to Turtleback Ferry - maybe there be something they can do.
After that, I found out that me and my friends were going to clean the place up after all. It took even longer than I thought. I offered to help sister Wolfsister remove the evil taxidermy stuff from the shrine - it seemed to help her feel a little better.
We then started to head back to Turtleback Ferry. All of a sudden, a huge wave went down the river toward the town!
I cast "expeditious retreat" on my horse and we got there as fast as we could. We would have gotten there a little faster, though, if my spells worked better with Mister Eats a Lot. I swear, the new Mister Eats a Lot has unusually good spell resistance. He must be a pretty bright one.
The town was flooded and a big black snake was attacking a boat full of little kids! It looked like the giant wave washed the boat up against the general store and got it stuck there. Good thing Seu Chiall was with us! He cast "fear" on the snake and it started swimming away!
Wolfsister polymorphed into a dolphin and swam out to help save all the kids. You go, sis!
I handed off my rope to Seu Chiall and ran to the shore to help unload the kids from Wolfsister.
Doc drank a water-breathing potion and tried to swim out to the boat. The water was going too fast and he got swept downstream! Doc means well, but he sometimes not think before he does something dangerous. Now that I think about it, this worries me because he loves to play with explosives. Be safe, Doc! Grognard not know any spells to reattach lost arms and legs!
All of a sudden, a GIANT sea serpent came down the river towards the boat! It was huge and scary looking!
It did something strange and I felt all confused. Grognard not remember anything after that. The next thing I knew, I was down in the mud up to my shoulders! I looked around and the giant monster was gone. I asked my friends about it and they said we hurt the monster and drove it away. Grognard is glad the kids are safe.
Sister Wolfsister then decided to go find Doc Dimple. When she came back, she told me she found him far away on the shore. Doc did not know the dolphin was her and Wolfsister had to change back and tell him to come along. She then had to cast "polymorph" again to change into a worg and carry him back. She seemed a bit angry about that.
We met up with a priest in Turtleback Ferry and told him all about the evil tattoos and how we need to get rid of them to keep bad stuff from happening. Seu Chiall told the guy we used an axe to get the last one off and he seemed a little shocked. Mister priest asked if any of us know the "erase" spell. I told him I know that spell, but Chakra and Seu Chiall said my spell not work that way. They figured out some other way to do it, though, so no big deal.
I told the priest that all the people who have these tattoos seem embarrassed and not want to admit it. I said we should tell people that the giant squid monster cast some hex on the village and they are cursed marks. The priest not want to lie to the people, but Mister Pibb told him the Magnimar code or something says this is okay in bad situations.
Something must have happened at the dam up north to make this giant wave, but we decided to check the Shimmerglens first to look for some important Black Arrow guy who likes to take walks there. Jack and Vale said this leader guy might still be alive and could help out.
We got some canoes to look for the guy and Seu Chiall decided to go fishing. I was just glad Doc was not fishing this time. A simple hook and line is so much more peaceful. Much less messy too.
Seu Chiall caught a pixie on his line! The little pixie was so tiny! Good thing the hook not go through him. He seemed very worried about someone in trouble, but he talked so quickly that I not understand him. He said his name was Yap. His name fits.
We offered to help Yap find the lady in trouble and followed him into the woods. Everything looked really creepy there. Grognard has seen many forests, but this one just not look right.
Further in, we saw a whole bunch of ghost fae! They not look mean or anything, they just were prancing and jumping around. They not seem to see us and went right through us! Definitely nothing like that undead spectre back at the cave! At least I knew what to do with the evil ghost. I had no idea how to help these ones.
A little later, we found a big, old ship in the woods. Grognard have no clue why it was there. We were nowhere near the shore. Yap the pixie suddenly flew into it without saying anything. Stupid pixie! You never fly into a haunted boat alone! We followed him inside in case something bad was in there. No one was in the ship, but the ship captain's skeleton was still at the wheel.
Back outside, we found a dead, mangled dryad in a tree. It made me very sad. Seu Chiall cast "speak with dead" and the dryad told him a snake lady killed someone special and caused the area to decay and die. Maybe Lucrecia did this?
We then found the nymph Myriana a little further in. Grognard never saw something so beautiful and scary at the same time. She was so sad and sounded like she was in agony. It looked like something crushed her arms and legs. I felt horrible - how could this happen!
Myriana seemed angry at us and said we failed Fort Rannick and Lamatar, the Black Arrow leader guy we are looking for.
We said that we just took Fort Rannick back from the ogres and that we are looking for Lamatar too. She seemed to calm down and asked us to find his remains so she can bring him back to life. She said the snake lady and ogres took him far away, somewhere called Hook Mountain. It definitely sounds like Lucrecia had something to do with this. We decided to go look for the guy once we checked out the dam up north.
When we got to the dam, we saw some large creatures up top! They must be ogres up to no good! There were steep stairs heading up to the dam and Seu Chiall slipped and fell of the side! Not again! He was quick and cast "levitate" and Chakra was able to pull him back up with a rope. Those two lovebirds are a great team!
The pixie flew up ahead of us to scout and came back hurt really bad. Seu Chiall healed him and we asked what happened. He told us there was a two-headed giant up there!
We went up the stairs and saw an ettin! It swung a flail at Seu Chiall but missed him. Seu Chiall then cast "fear" and it ran away.
All of a sudden, we heard some fighting going on up there! The pixie cast "invisibility" and went to look. He said some ogres were fighting the ettin! And I was worried it was going to get all the ogres after us! We waited a bit until it got quiet and the ettin and two of the five ogres were dead. The last three were pretty easy!
We found some stairs heading down into the dam. We went down and sister Wolfsister asked me to clear a big pile of skulls blocking the door. All of a sudden I heard Wolfsister scream! Hold on sister Wolfsister! Grognard's coming!
I charged in and saw some scorpion made out of bones! I attacked it with all my arcane might and hurt it pretty bad. I then noticed the bone scorpion had pinned Wolfsister to the ground!
Me and my friends kept casting spells at it, but the thing would not let go of Wolfsister. Ausk then had a clever idea! He cast "invisibility" on Wolfsister and she disappeared. The bone scorpion did not know where she gone to and went after us instead! Grognard not mind that! I was just glad she was safe.
The scorpion bit me and Chakra. I killed it, but the poison made me feel a little sick. Chakra looked really bad, though, like she was going to fall over. That scorpion poison must hurt foxes pretty bad.
We then found a little model of the dam nearby. Everybody thought it must control the dam, but no one knew how.
I finished moving the skulls away from the door and found two circles. One had some red ashes in it and the other one had the remains of some evil demon thing.
Even though the evil demon thing looked like it was dead, it started talking! It said it would tell us how to open the dam if we let it free.
Spell book, Grognard the Arcane is sad to say that I realized I not know my friends as well as I thought. All of my friends wanted to go along with this evil demon!
I was so upset! Even our so-called paladin promised to let the evil thing go so it would help us. What kind of paladin makes deals with demonic things? Maybe his "detect evil" spell is broken. I do not think I will ever trust his judgement with evil things ever again. What use is a "detect evil" spell if it does not know that this is evil and wrong? Either that, or maybe Grognard should be made a paladin for Nethys! I can't do a worse job than that!
I told everyone that demons are evil and we never should bargain with them. We could have figured this out on our own! I go on adventure with my friends to help people and fight evil, not make little deals with beings of PURE EVIL! At least Wolfsister seem to be unsure what was best. Everyone else was okay with it!
After Mister Pibb promised that he would let the evil demon thing go, it told us the two circles power the dam using whoever is inside. It needs two to power the dam and the other demon thing is now red ash.
Mister Pibb and Seu Chiall said they would power the dam since it not hurt them. Once they both got in the circles, the dam opened and allowed the water out.
Grognard is glad that dam not going to destroy Turtleback Ferry now, but I am still very angry about this whole demon thing. We got through so much bigger problems in the past, but no, no, no! We needed to let an evil demon thing free because we not want to take any time to figure out how to open the damn dam ourselves! Grognard needs to be more bold. If I was not so afraid of making friends upset with me, I would have jumped into the red ash to open the dam and killed the evil thing myself. I not care if our so-called paladin made a deal with it!
Grognard not sure where to go from here. We saved Turtleback Ferry, but at the dam we took the easy way out and did not do the right thing. I am angry. Both at my friends and at myself for not opening the dam before the paladin could free the evil demon.
There is no going back home, but I am tempted to head back to Sandpoint and watch over the town. At the same time, I cannot do it. These are my only friends and even if I am angry, I not want to lose them.
I just need to have more courage to stand up for what is right and make sure evil does not escape me next time.
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Hello spell book!
Grognard is much smarter now! We found an awesome headband which makes Grognard an even better master of the arcane! It is my new thinking cap!
Of course, it will never replace my wizard hat - that hat has been with Grognard since the very beginning! Sister Wolfsister enchanted it so it can glow in the dark, which makes it even more special!
Things seem so much clearer now with the thinking cap! I even got the courage to ask Ausk to teach me how to read and write. I was so happy when he said yes! Brother Ausk is so helpful!
I asked Ausk to teach me the common language - I'm so excited to read stuff and write letters to all my friends! Since we left home, Grognard not have much use for reading and writing orcish. I am glad that part of my life is behind me.
We started on the alphabet but it is slow going. Some letters can make different sounds, some letters make the same sounds as other letters, and there's even some letters that sound different when put together. It's all so confusing! Ausk says it will take me some time to figure it all out.
But I am jumping ahead of myself again. When I last wrote, my friends just freed an evil demon thing to get help opening the dam. It still makes me angry, but I'm trying to put it behind me.
With Turtleback Ferry safe, we headed to Hook Mountain to look for the missing Black Arrows leader.
We found some huge cave on the mountain with a giant statue outside wearing one of those evil seven-pointed star amulets. This one was huge, though!
When Doc climbed up to grab the star amulet, the statue turned to dust and Doc fell! For a little guy like Doc, it was a pretty big drop! I guess even falling off Grognard's shoulders might be a big fall for him, though!
Doc said that the huge amulet might be worth a lot, so I told him not to worry - my "Bull's Strength" spell is getting better all the time! Grognard is happy to help my good friend Doc!
We went into the cave and were attacked by ogres! Doc handed me something he called an extract and told me to drink it. Doc's a smart guy, so I drank it all down.
All of a sudden, I grew very big! Grognard already is much bigger than most other wizards, but this made me almost as big as an ogre and knocked my friends away! Oh no! I had sinking feeling in stomach - I knocked Ausk down a deep pit and I couldn't find Chakra anywhere!
I ran over to the deep pit and shouted "I'm sorry!" and threw a rope down to brother Ausk. It was just not long enough.
I was just about to jump down there myself and cast "fly" on Ausk (it's a touch spell) when he told me, "I'm okay! Just go kill things! And hope I'm in a better mood when I get up there!"
I felt really bad about Ausk, but I left to help my other friends fight off the ogres. It took Ausk a long time to float out of the pit. I was so happy to see he was okay!
Ausk looked very angry! I said I was so sorry for knocking him into the pit and tried to explain. I told him all about the extract and how Doc said I should drink it. Ausk then got all angry with Doc! I didn't mean to get Doc in trouble! Ausk told me not to drink strange things from Doc again unless I know what they do. I promised to be more careful.
I found out that Chakra was okay, too! She just cast "invisibility" about the same time I got that drink from Doc. Silly Grognard!
Once we finished off the ogres, I decided to look around downstairs and found a frozen human in armor. There was a picture on his clothes that looked like the same one on Jack and Vale. I went upstairs to tell the others and a fireball hit me out of nowhere! Ouch!
That fireball really hurt, but at least my wizard hat was okay. I told my friends about the frozen guy and said he might be the one the nymph was looking for.
We found out the guy who cast the fireball was a stone giant wizard! Seu Chiall cast "blindness" on him and the stone giant surrendered right away. Wow! Seu Chiall didn't even need to act all scary this time! He's a super-powerful wizard, just like Ausk!
I went with Chakra to talk with the stone giant wizard while the others checked on the frozen human downstairs. Turns out the frozen guy was undead and they had to fight him!
Chakra and me found out the stone giant is a necromancer! Not another one! He told us he got his evil star amulet from Mokmurian, some important guy who leads the stone giants.
All my friends came back and started questioning the wizard. Not Grognard, the evil necromancer. He kept going on and on about how Mokmurian was unstoppable and he is going to enslave everybody. Sounds like another really evil guy!
We looked around the room and found a whole bunch of treasure. My friends let me keep the awesome headband! They called it a headband of vast intelligence - it's so magical! It makes Grognard an even better master of the arcane! Not only that, but my new thinking cap makes me feel so much smarter! Now I understand what Ausk meant when he told me not to lose my head back at the haunted house. Back then, I thought he must know something I didn't and got a little worried! I now think he just saw how upset I was when Wolfsister got hurt and wanted me to calm down.
I also found a letter there. It looked important, so I pretended to read it and then handed it off to my friends. No one said what was on it, but it sounded like something really bad was going to happen to Sandpoint!
On the way back to Sandpoint, we brought the undead human's corpse to the nymph. She gave him a kiss and cast "reincarnate." Grognard could not believe his eyes! It looked like the nymph and the dead guy merged together and turned into a half-elf female. She looked very confused. We told her all about what happened and she said she was going back to help the Black Arrows at the fort.
As soon as we got back home, we went to the church with Seu Chiall and he warned everybody that giants were going to attack Sandpoint!
Grognard just realize that Sandpoint is home now. It used to just be some town we were staying at for a bit, but the longer I been around here the more it feels like home. I'm so used to thinking of home as that awful place I was so glad to leave, but it feels good to have a nice place like Sandpoint to call home. Maybe when everything settles down I can get a house of my own here. The Rusty Dragon is nice and all, but Grognard not want to live there forever. Besides, I think Chakra might have to stick around the Rusty Dragon to help Ameiko run the place. Those two love birds Seu Chiall and Chakra will need some space to themselves and I don't want to be a third wheel.
We split up into three groups to protect Sandpoint. Brother Ausk and I volunteered to watch the east entrance. We talked strategy and I think I actually helped! I love my new thinking cap!
It wasn't long before we saw two stone giants and two dire bears coming toward Sandpoint! I shot one of the bears with two of my magic missiles and it fell. Ausk then cast some new spell that stuck the rest of them in an invisible web.
After we finished them off, I saw a young red dragon far off to the west! I showed Ausk and we ran there as fast as we could!
Ausk then cast a really awesome spell! It was so cool, he would not even tell me what it was! All of a sudden, the dragon looked so scared and curled up into a ball.
The spell didn't last long, but all of Grognard's friends got there just when the dragon tried to fly away. Everybody hit it with everything they got and Doc finished it off with lots of frost bombs!
After the battle, we helped Ausk drag the dragon in front of the general store. Ausk hung a sign around its neck. I asked brother Ausk what this was all about and he told me mister Vinder wouldn't help protect the city because he said all the dragons were long dead. Ausk then told me what he wrote on the sign - "I do not exist." Ha, ha! Brother Ausk should be careful, I don't know if Shayliss will like him picking on her dad like that.
Doc and I won the hagfish challenge that evening! It was disgusting, but I cast "resistance" and finished it all off - no problem!
The hagfish still left an awful taste in my mouth, though, so I decided to get some food. I asked Doc to stick around, but he wanted to go spend his gold coin at the Pixie's Kitten.
I was kind of glad not to go to the Pixie's Kitten with Doc. Everyone there looked all angry at me at the church party. Not to mention, I not really understand Doc's fascination with the place. I'm the kind of wizard who wants a close companion, not just someone to spend the night with. I might be wrong, but I get the feeling that most of the dancers there would not want to talk about magic with me.
I decided to meet up with my friends at the bar and celebrate! We had fun, but they told me the brewery and Scarnetti house got damaged in the attack and they are now angry because we didn't protect them. Hello? Dragon we had to fight off, along with many stone giants!?! What they think we were doing during the attack? We not like mister Vinder and just sit around twiddling thumbs!
Seu Chiall seemed to be having a great time! He told me all about how he cast "blindness" on another one of the stone giants when we were protecting Sandpoint and captured him! Wow, this guy has it all! Not only is Seu Chiall somehow great with the ladies, but he is a super awesome wizard, too!
Seu Chiall also kept hitting on Chakra at the bar the entire evening. Get a room, you two!
Doc didn't meet up with us until much later. He told me his gold coin went pretty far. I didn't ask for details, but I'm glad he's happy. I wonder what kind of girls he is into. Ooh, I know! He's probably into the sexy librarian type! I can picture him now, talking with some smart girl who likes to roleplay that she's a Thassilonian runelord and Doc's her slave! Disturbing picture, that. I think I need to go find some ale and cast "mind blank" on myself now.
The next morning, we questioned the stone giant Seu Chiall captured. He told us that this Mokmurian guy is from Jorgenfist and attacked Sandpoint to take some rocks from the lighthouse. Very strange! He also said their army has been getting those evil star tattoos ever since he took over. We warned him about the tattoos and let him go after Seu Chiall removed his blindness.
Grognard and his friends left for Jorgenfist the next day. A few days into our trip, we ran into some ogres carrying cattle. It looked like they just raided a farm. I charged and pounced onto one of them, casting my spells with haste.
Sister Wolfsister talked with me after the battle and told me my new name is "Leaping Wolf." I like it!
We ran into a bridge with stairs and some huge statues on the sides. The lookout saw us and some hill giants on the other side started throwing rocks at us. I started running across the bridge, but it was slow going - the bridge was so huge and the stairs were very tall.
Seu Chiall cast "telekinesis" and shoved the lookout off the statue's head! It sure was funny to see!
He then cast "telekinesis" again on one of the hill giants at the top and pulled him down the stairs! The giant went right through his giant pile of rocks and knocked them down the stairs, too! Seu Chiall kept pulling all the stone giants down the stairs. I laughed - it was so funny!
Doc handed me an extract and told me to drink it. I was worried, but there wasn't anyone around. I drank it and I grew really big again! Good thing none of my friends were close by! I ran up to the nearest hill giant and cast "inflict critical wounds", knocking him out of the fight. I then ran up to another one and my wand of pain finished him off quickly. Thanks a bunch, Doc!
The last hill giant started to run away. Seu Chiall cast "telekinesis" and tripped him. I then hit him with a magic missile and Wolfsister finished him off with a lightning bolt.
When we got close to Jorgenfist, we ran into two stone giants and three dire bears. Wolfsister cast "dominate person" and told one of the bears to attack the stone giants.
The stone giants said something and started running away. I was worried that they might be scouts, so I ran after them.
All of a sudden, one of the dire bears leapt at me and pinned me to the ground! It kept clawing at me, but I was able to break free. I then saw Wolfsister cast "animal growth" on the dire bear chasing the stone giants! Great thinking, sis!
Ausk killed one of the stone giants with a fireball, and Wolfsister's dire bear got the other one. That was close!
Seu Chiall cast "speak with dead" on one of the stone giants and found out it was from a scouting party and was supposed to head back in three days. It will take 2 days for us to get to Jorgenfist, so we need to hurry.
It is strange how every time I think we saved the day, some other big problem shows up. Grognard really likes fighting evil and helping people out, but sometimes I think it would be nice to take a break. Not a long one, but at least a few days. Our time together at the bar a few days ago was probably the most time we had to relax in a long time. I think Whiskers is getting lonely. I don't get as much time to play with him as I used to. I also need to find some time to pick up Mister Eats a Lot from Fort Rannick. I miss our talks.
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Hello spell book!
I know it has only been a few days since I last wrote in you, but I need to work out some things in my head.
We finally made it into Jorgenfist, but I think I made my friends angry. I'm not sure what I did wrong. I didn't mean to get everyone upset!
On the way there, Doc Dimple asked if anyone could summon a storm to help us sneak in. I got excited and told him I could help with my "storm of vengeance" spell.
Seu Chiall asked what that was, so I showed him the dance. There are so many somatic components to that spell, but I told him not to worry! It's not so much the exact motions that matter, but having lots of confidence!
After I finished casting “storm of vengeance,” Seu Chiall asked how often the spell fails. I told him it's a really good spell, it just sometimes can take a few weeks to take effect.
My friends said there was no time for us to wait. I had worried about that too, but was hoping I could still help out. Sometimes when the sky is all dark and cloudy, the spell only takes a few minutes to work. It is a bit like Wolfsister's lightning spell and works best when conditions are right. Oh well! Maybe next time!
Wolfsister cast "eagle eye" to look around the place and found two caves that could help us get inside. The caves were way up high in the cliff wall.
When we levitated into one of the caves, three wyverns attacked! We fought them off, but one of the wyverns poisoned Ausk and made him really sick! Poor guy! I was glad that Mister Pibb and Seu Chiall were able to heal him up. Grognard has never been good with healing magic. I specialize in evocation, not conjuration.
We found an awesome magic staff inside the cave! It could cast lots of druid spells, so I asked sister Wolfsister to take it.
Doc Dimple gave me a spider-climb extract to help me climb up into the other cave. I let Doc ride up with me on my back. That little guy is so tiny and light I sometimes forget he is there! At least there were no tree branches for him to smack into on the cliff. I still feel bad about that one time and Doc won't let me forget about it.
Up at the top, there were three dead giant spiders! Spell book, I have a secret. Grognard may be brave, but he is scared of giant spiders. Little spiders are no big deal, but those giant ones give me the heebie jeebies! I ran over and cast “disintegrate” on them with my wand of pain, just to be safe.
I asked Seu Chiall about the spiders (I was careful to not sound scared) and he told me how he cast “invisibility” and went into the cave while we were still climbing up. He found a big spiderweb in the corner, but the giant undead spiders must have heard him and attacked!
I hope the undead spiders are actually dead now. That undead spectre thing we ran into a while back disappeared when it died, but the spiders stayed. Why is that? Too bad we have no cleric to ask about this sort of thing. I was just glad we were not sticking around there.
We went a little bit further into the cave and found a bunch of little people my friends called redcaps. They looked a bit like Doc, but were nothing like him - they were evil and mean! Sure, Doc can be grouchy at times and he has that strange obsession with brothels, but he is a nice guy and not evil at all!
We were in a narrow tunnel and I was up front, so only me and brother Ausk could reach the redcaps. Ausk cast "flaming sphere" and then I cast “forceful hand” to knock one of the redcaps onto the flaming sphere. Brother Ausk and me make a great team! I then cast "beast shape" and used my claws to stop him from getting off the flaming sphere. The other redcaps must have realized they were up against powerful wizards because they ran away!
We ran into some dwarves at a forge a little further in. At least, they looked kinda like dwarves, but they had no beards. They looked scared of Chakra, so I tried to calm them down. I told them she was a nice, friendly, magical fox girl. For some strange reason, they still looked scared.
The dwarves told us they were part of a caravan and got captured by the stone giants. The giants shaved off their beards and took them prisoner. Not sure why the giants gave them a shave. Maybe their beards could catch fire at the forge?
The dwarves were not safe, so Ausk decided to teleport them to Magnimar. One of them said his family lives there, so it sounded like a good idea. I asked to come along, but brother Ausk said no.
There were too many dwarves to teleport all at once, so he had to take two trips. Chakra went back with Ausk the second time. When she came back, Seu Chiall asked about some stuff he put on a list for her to get in Magnimar. She asked him, "What, the dozen roses? What do you need those for?" Seu Chiall said they were spell components he needed. "For what spell?" "My charm Kitsune spell." Aww! Those two are the cutest couple!
The next morning, we went back into the caves and found one of the tunnels blocked by a huge stone. Seu Chiall cast "invisibility" and somehow went through the stone to check out the other side! How did he do that? That was some powerful metamagic! He came back and told us there were stone giants and dire bears in there.
Doc used a bomb to blow up the rock and get us inside. Seu Chiall and Wolfsister cast “flamestrike” right away and I took down two of the stone giants.
All of a sudden, there was a real sharp pain at the back of my head and everything went black. I got knocked out for a bit, but my awesome sister Wolfsister healed me up! I still didn't feel great, but who would after taking a magical pick-axe to the head?
The evil thing that hit me with the pick-axe looked like a ghost! I saw the evil ghost's pick-axe on the ground and quickly tossed it away. That thing was no ordinary pick-axe, it must be a wand of pain! Too big for me to use, but I wasn't going to let him have it back!
The ghost guy was floating toward the ceiling like he was trying to get away, but Doc was quicker and killed it with some bombs. Seu Chiall cast his "blood biography" spell and found out this guy was Mokmurrian's general, named Galenmir.
A female stone giant saw us down in the caves under Jorgenfist and she talked with Doc and Seu Chiall. They told us she wants to help us fight Mokmurrian. They also said the stone giant once saw Mokmurrian praying to Karazog, a powerful old Thassalonian who enslaved the stone giants. Doc's a smart guy and knows everything about Thassalonia - he will know just what to do!
A little bit further down in the caves we ran into two lamias and one of them said something about sacrificing us to Lamashtu. The place smelled like incense so it must have been an evil temple or something.
We fought them off, but not before they made some evil-looking fog that made Wolfsister choke. She was able to get out of the fog and seemed a little better, but I didn't know any spells to help her. I feel bad that she always helps me out when I'm in trouble, but I can't do the same.
I tried to keep out of the evil fog and kept casting “magic missile” at the lamias. Wolfsister then cast “sirocco” and made a hot wind blow the lamias to the ground, knocking them out. Nice spell, sis!
Right after the battle, two red dragons found us! Chakra said someone should go speak to the dragons, so I went up close to them and shouted, "ROAR!!!" Ausk smacked me on the back of the head. What was that for? Chakra asked me to talk with the dragon, so I cast “feral speech” and talked to it. I don't see the problem.
Wolfsister told me I was acting childish, like a fifteen year old. I told her I was fifteen years old, but was no child. It was still a little embarrassing, though. I guess it must look a bit silly when my “feral speech” spell fails to work.
The dragons then breathed fire and burned Chakra, Wolfsister, and Seu Chiall! They weren't getting away with this! I cast "arcane fury" and charged at the dragons with my wand of pain.
All of a sudden, Chakra jumped in front of me and said to stop because the dragons could help us. This was no good! I reminded her that they were evil red dragons and could not be trusted! They hurt my friends! Chakra kept saying they were useful and we can use evil against evil. I was so angry and told her that was just what we did with that demon back at the dam!
Wolfsister shouted that Chakra was in danger with me fighting the dragons there. Wolfsister is wise, so she might have a point. I picked Chakra up and carried her around the corner where it was safer. I then went back and heard Ausk offering to allow the evil red dragons to leave!
I had enough of us bargaining with evil! I charged the dragons again! Seu Chiall and Wolfsister helped me, but everyone else stayed back.
We kept fighting the dragons and killed one of them. All of a sudden, the other dragon fell into a pit that came out of nowhere. It must be Ausk casting his “create pit” spell! I was glad that Ausk finally decided to help out!
Not thinking, I cast "fireball" into the pit. Yeah, I realize that it was stupid for Grognard to cast a fireball at a red dragon. Sometimes my arcane fury messes with my judgment.
All of a sudden, several magic missiles hit me in the back. I hoped that it was some strange dragon spell, but then Ausk shouted at me, "Grognard! Come. Here. Now!" The magic missiles hurt, but not nearly as much as thinking that Ausk might have cast them.
Still, I wasn't going to stop when the last dragon was nearly defeated. I finished off the dragon with a final swing of my wand, but I felt no victory. It felt like some of my friends had abandoned me.
Doc said he was angry with me. I asked him why he and some of the others left Wolfsister, Seu Chiall and me to fight the dragons alone. Doc told me that both the dragons were chained to the floor. I never noticed the chains...
Threat or no threat, the dragons were hurting my friends. What did they expect Grognard to do?
We decided to teleport to Sandpoint to rest up and then teleport back in the morning. When we got back to Sandpoint, Doc left to spend the night at the Pixie's Kitten (again...) I went to the Rusty Dragon to get some food, but found out it was abandoned. Oh no!
It worked out, though. Ausk decided to buy the Rusty Dragon. I'm glad - it's the closest thing Grognard has to a home right now. Maybe Ausk will let me pay some rent to keep my room there. I want to buy a house someday, but until then I want to keep my old room. Whiskers likes it there and so do I.
Chakra isn't speaking to me and refused to come back with us to Sandpoint. She said that she doesn't trust any of us.
I have a very bad feeling about this. It is not safe at all for Chakra to stay there - redcaps, stone giants, evil red dragons... I'm not sure why she is so angry. Is it bad for Grognard to kill evil red dragons? No! Is it bad for Grognard to disagree with Chakra? No! Friends can disagree! What did Grognard do wrong? Why are Chakra, Doc, and some of the others so angry? Who cast those magic missiles, anyway? Maybe sister Wolfsister will help me sort this out.
For now, I am just going to get some sleep and hope everything is better tomorrow. Maybe everyone else is just grumpy from being away from Sandpoint for so long. I know I never wanted to be gone so long. That Mokmurrian guy is doing some evil stuff, so we need to stick together.
You know, I always saw myself as not only an awesome wizard, but a good person who fights evil and helps people who need help. That is why I go on adventures with my friends.
Oh, it would be so much easier for Grognard to just go buy a nice house in Sandpoint. Something not too big, but quiet enough to study my magic and big enough for a wife and maybe some little half-orcs one day. Grognard can hope, at least. Oh! And a stable for Mister Eats-A-Lot, and a nice little bed for Whiskers, and a guest room for Ausk to come and stay with Grognard every once and awhile. And I can't forget about Wolfsister - she's family too! She could use Ausk's bedroom, but I would need some place for her wolf to stay. I don't think Whiskers and him would get along, so he might need a nice little wolf house outside all to himself. That wolf always looks a bit skittish, so he might enjoy having a safe place to hide. Hmm... Now that I think about it, maybe I need to save up a bit more gold than I thought.
Anyways, I do the adventuring to help people. People need Grognard - this is new for me! People back home always said I was the weird one, the one to keep away from. People laughed at Grognard, they played pranks on Grognard, they called me stupid, called me dumb. They would even steal my hat.
I tried to do the right thing. Even though I knew my magic was more powerful than they thought. Even though I had trouble sleeping at night. I told myself I wouldn't go down that road - I did not want to become the same monster that I feared in them.
I met some guy back home a few years ago who said something that stuck with me. He was an old timer who no one saw very much - mostly kept to himself. He must have seen something in me that I didn't because he would always be asking me to come over and help him out at his house. Sometimes it was fixing something, sometimes it was helping him find something he lost, it always changed.
He told me how nice it was to have such a helpful wizard around. I wasn't used to that. He told me to hold my head up, to take pride in my magic and use it to help people just like I was able to help him.
I remember asking why he was so nice to me. He said it was because I was so nice to him and to never lose that. He told me it was a rare thing that our people needed more of.
Back home, there weren't many people who cared about doing the right thing, especially when it is not the easy thing. I felt like no matter what I did, I was just never going to fit in there. Not that I wanted to fit in, you see, I just wanted them to leave me alone. You see, when you put up with that for a long time, you just want to get out and find people who are more like you and won't give you such a hard time. People who see the real you and like you for who you are.
I never did fit in back home, but I did realize that I had a true friend in Ausk. He would stick up for me and got the bullies to leave me alone. He was one of the few I trusted and could feel comfortable around.
When he decided to leave home, he knew how miserable I was and asked me to come along. It was a little scary leaving the only thing I had known, but I trusted Ausk and knew that wherever we ended up it had to be better.
Anyway, this brings me back to my problem. I tried to live up to my values today and do the right thing. I wasn't going to let the bad guy win like my friends did with that evil demon thing at the dam. I swore back then I wasn't going to let that happen all over again just because I was too scared to do what was right and not just go along with everyone else. I forced myself to fight two evil, red dragons to the death, even when some of my friends left me there to do it alone. Now I'm scared that some of my friends might leave me. Even worse, Chakra might not even be alive in the morning because she would not come back with us. If she dies it will be all my fault.
I'm sorry friends. I don't know if I messed up or if it's something else, but I just want us all to get along again.
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Grognard, if you're going to leave this book out where anyone can read it, I'm going to write in it to correct your mistakes.
I did not buy the Rusty Dragon. I just bought a small house and you are welcome there for as long as you want. If you want to be there. Yes, I shot you with magic missiles, and I am sorry. This constant battling brings out the orc in me, and I start acting like the same monsters back home that you fear. That's why we left. I was becoming the monster, and I hated it. Now I'm still becoming the monster, just a bit more slowly. But you, the fact is I don't think you will ever be able to fully embrace your orc side. You care about things much more than I do and even when raging you want to protect them. One reason I took you with me when I left is because I think that fact would have gotten you killed.
You're the better one of us brothers. Make sure to keep me in check if things keep going the way they seem to be.
Ausk
Hello spell book!
Grognard is so embarrassed for thinking Ausk bought the Rusty Dragon!
Right after I wrote in you last time, I went to the Rusty Dragon for a bite to eat and some sleep but the door was locked!
That got me really worried – I thought Ausk must be really angry at me! I banged on the door and started shouting that I was sorry and just wanted to patch things up. Some of the humans living nearby yelled for me to be quiet. They said the place was closed and no one was there.
I was so sure Ausk was in there, but I also know I can sometimes get things a little mixed up. I decided to go get something to eat – maybe with a full stomach things would make more sense.
Since the Rusty Dragon was no good, I went to the Hagfish. I never really liked their food (especially the fish water), but I met most of my friends there. Maybe it might help me feel better.
I found a seat and ordered some venison and whiskey. The food took a long time to come out, but I was in no real hurry. My friends were all angry with me and I was feeling down.
I was so glad when sister Wolfsister came in and sat down with me! She talked about how things went bad back there with the red dragons but she didn't seem angry! She also said something about how none of us communicate well. I was confused by that, but maybe I was just supposed to know what she meant so I just said, “Yeah, I know.”
It took me some time, but I think I understand what she was talking about now.
I mean, everyone but Doc is a wizard like me and we are all better casting spells than dealing with people. Not like Doc has it any better. I mean, who out there is going to want to talk with him about Thassilonian this and Thassilonian that! It's boring! You try to talk that way with anyone and they will fall asleep. I know because it has happened to me before. Several times.
Seu Chiall probably has the most trouble, but it's not his fault, you see. It got to be rough looking all creepy like that and still getting people to take you seriously. Except when you are trying to be scary. I guess that would be much easier. And even with that scary face he still knows how to attract women. Is he that good with women or are fox girls just looking for something a bit different?
Sister Wolfsister is one of the nicest people I know, but she looks different than most other humans and takes her wolf with her everywhere. I think that just makes her special, but some other humans act like she is nothing like them. I know what that feels like. My magic hat can be intimidating and makes some people uneasy around me. I am always nice, you know, but it not seem to matter.
Chakra is a magical fox girl and you know that has got to seem weird to just about anyone. Not that she is much better with people in her human form. I think she might scare them a little bit. Nothing like Seu Chiall, of course! But she is unpredictable and can be just as fierce as a barbarian!
Brother Ausk is probably the best of us at dealing with other people, but being half-orc does him no favors with the humans. I think the bad ones give the rest of us a bad name. Then again, Ausk has a strange relationship with Shayliss. I get the feeling they both don't have the same feelings for each other as they used to. Maybe this has something to do with that bad communication thing Wolfsister talked about.
And then you got me, Grognard, a wizard who has never fit in and is just lucky to find some friends who do not make fun of him. My friends sometimes do stuff that makes no sense, but I am still so glad to have them with me.
Anyways, Wolfsister asked me if I noticed the red dragons were chained to the floor. I told her no, I did not see the chains until Doc got all angry and said about them. I told her some evil red dragons were breathing fire at my friends back there - what was I supposed to do?
Wolfsister had nowhere to stay the night, so I gave her some coin to get a room at the White Deer. I got a room there too, but it was so different looking than my old room at the Rusty Dragon. Just did not feel like home. Well, like my old home at the Rusty Dragon, not my OLD old home.
I left my room to look around the place and ran into Ausk! I told him I was sorry and asked if he was still angry at me.
He said it was okay and told me to look inside my spell book. Ausk wrote something there! I told him I was still learning, so it might take me awhile to read it. He was patient though and even helped me sound out the big words!
Ausk wrote something very nice! He was not angry at me anymore! I gave Ausk a big hug!
One thing still bothered me. I had to ask Ausk, how did he read my spell book? Long ago he told me that my magical wards made sure no one else could read it! Ausk explained that my wards were working, but he could still see the pictures. Oh, I forgot about that! I hope Ausk did not see that one drawing of Shalelu. I know that we were not meant to be, but it might give him the wrong idea.
Anyways, Ausk teleported us all back to Jorgenfist the next morning. I was so happy to see that Chakra was still okay!
Chakra still looked really angry and complained that everyone just runs in to fight and does not communicate. Maybe this could be that communication thing Wolfsister was talking about.
I told Chakra I was sorry, but she said nothing back. I don't know if she could tell I didn't know what to be sorry for or if she just not hear me.
Chakra said the bad guys were looking for us at Jorgenfist last night and there was a whole bunch of commotion. Sounds like trouble!
We started exploring and found a room with a dirt floor instead of stone. That was kind of strange. There was also a big carving of one of those evil seven-pointed stars. Everyone was being all quiet and sneaky, so I cast "cat's grace" and looked around the room.
All of a sudden, a hill giant came out of nowhere and hurt Wolfsister really bad!
I ran as fast as I could to help Wolfsister! I got between her and the giant and cast "protection from evil." Before he could touch Wolfsister again, Ausk cast "hold person" on the giant and we were able to finish him off together. Thanks, big brother!
We then went upstairs and found a strange room - it looked magical! I really wanted to go inside, but Chakra cast "invisibility" and said she was going in first. It was so very hard to wait. She was taking way too long to get back, so I decided to head in and get a look at the magic room myself!
Doc held his arm out and stopped me. He told me something bad happened to Chakra! Just another reason for me to go in and help her out!
All of a sudden, it felt like the room flipped upside-down for a moment! Kind of like a spell hit me but failed. There was a giant in the room, but he was no match for my magic! Two swings from my wand of pain and he went down quick.
I looked around and found Chakra. She really did shrink! She was no bigger than Doc!
Everyone knew the room was enchanted but we still had to pass through it. Seu Chiall and Ausk walked inside okay, but Wolfsister got shrunk too! I felt bad and looked around the room for something that might help them out or dispel the enchantment. I couldn't find anything!
Doc was last and shrunk even smaller! He kind of reminded me of that one fairy we found, only a whole lot smarter and much less annoying. If he was any smaller he could probably ride on Whiskers!
We kept moving and found a smoking cauldron! Now this was interesting! There were no witches around, but this cauldron had one of those evil stars on it so it must be used for something evil.
All of a sudden, a huge golem jumped out at us! Wolfsister cast a lightning bolt, but it didn't seem to work. I then remembered that golems are immune to magic! I told my friends what we were dealing with and hoped that Doc could help the rest of us wizards out.
Good thing Seu Chiall reminded me that my magic is different and would still work. With Doc so tiny, I thought his little bombs might not help us much.
I cast "magic missile" at the golem, but it didn't seem to do anything. Maybe Seu Chiall was wrong.
I then decided to try another spell and cast "arcane fury!" My magic started working again and we were able to finish off the golem!
We kept exploring and found a room full of fog. We couldn't see a thing! Wolfsister cast "Gust of Wind" to get rid of the fog and I saw a shortish (for a giant anyway) stone giant. It was Mokmurian!
He had a wand of pain, just like me! His magic might be the same as mine, but that evil wizard was nothing like me! I ran toward him and challenged him to a wizard's duel! He swung his magic club at me, but missed.
He was a tough wizard, but no match for Grognard and his friends. Doc knocked him down with a force bomb and Wolfsister cast "flamestrike" to finish him off.
Mokmurian definitely looked dead, but then his corpse started levitating in the air! I cast "baleful polymorph" and swung my wand of pain at his face, just in case he was being raised as an undead or something. His eyes started glowing and some evil voice said he was Karzoug. He tried to mock us, but I heard much worse growing up back home. Just sounded like he was trying too hard. After he stopped talking, the little giant turned to dust.
There was a bunch of treasure there! The best thing was a big spell book that has all sorts of spells in it! Doc told us we could have the rest of the stuff, but he wanted the spell book all to himself.
So confusing! My only friend who is not a wizard wants the spell book to himself? I told him to share with all the other wizards! I guess he saw I was so upset. He said we could share.
We left and went back to the big door we found earlier that Doc said goes to a library. There was some more Thassilonian words on the door and Doc got all excited. He told us it said something about a peacock wanting to keep everyone calm. Silly Thassilonians!
All of a sudden, there was a very bright flash! I heard Seu Chiall cursing and saw that Ausk and him were blinded! A strange-looking creature appeared that Doc called a shining child. Not look anything like a child to me, but Doc knows his Thassilonian stuff.
I started to cast "inflict serious wounds" when all of a sudden the shining child zapped me with lightning! That really hurt!
Chakra was a big help and finished it off with her katana. I thanked her for the help and told her its lightning really stings!
We then went into the library. There was a weird metal creature inside that talked to us in a strange language. It must have been Thassilonian because Doc started talking to it.
Spell book, have I ever mentioned how boring it is every time Doc finds some old Thasilonian thing? I mean, Grognard is happy to see Doc get so excited, but for once I would like Doc to get excited about something other than Thassilonians and brothels.
The metal creature was too stuck up to talk to me and kept talking in Thassilonian, so I had to wait around while my friends asked it a whole bunch of questions.
Ausk, Chakra, and me got tired of this and left to find that female stone giant who helped us out before. We found her and she said she would tell the other giants that Mokmurian was dead so they would go back home.
Not much happened while we were gone. When we got back, Doc had big piles of books as tall as me and kept on talking to that stupid metal creature. Boring! I know Doc was in his happy place, but why did he have to drag me into it?
I have seen Doc get sucked into boring stuff before, but this was just too much for me. We were stuck there for almost a week!
This stuff bored Ausk too, but he was such a good friend to me! He helped me learn to read and write while we waited for Doc and the others to leave so we could do something fun again.
Thanks to Ausk, I can now read and write a whole lot better! I am still learning, of course. I told Ausk my magic headband must also have a reading enchantment, but he said I should be proud of myself. I think having a great teacher like Ausk helped a whole bunch, too! Maybe next time I write I will use what Ausk taught me!
After spending way too long in the library, my friends finally said we could leave. Good thing, too! I was seriously about to cast a few fireballs at the bookshelves at that point. Probably would not end well. Doc would get all angry and complain about all the boring books being on fire and he might not make me any coffee for a few days. Mister Pibb would be all "stop having fun and do only what I say." And Wolfsister would look all disappointed in me and make me feel bad. I think Ausk would laugh though.
We left Jorgenfist and headed back to Sandpoint. I was just thinking how great it was to be back home when some humans told us there was a giant sink hole near the garrison. Uh oh. We went over to take a look - it was huge!
At least the sink hole wasn't any big deal. I was worried that this was going to be another one of those times like, "Yea, we are back home at Sandpoint! Boo, bad stuff is happening again! Got to leave now!"
We heard that the church priest wanted to meet with Seu Chiall, so we will have to head there soon.
I need to ask that priest guy when the next church party will be. I can offer my wizard skills to defend the town in case the goblins attack again! Heck, my magic is better now, so even ogres or giants will not stop the church party next time!
Then again, we might have no time to relax right now. We probably need to head to Magnimar and tell them all about this Karzoug guy and figure out what to do. I mean, Grognard and his friends are awesome wizards and all, but I think that some super old and powerful runelord guy might be a little more than we can handle alone. Maybe Magnimar can send a huge army or something to help out.
We should also talk to that smart friend of Doc's about Karzoug. He might know something. Then again, he seems a little crazy about Thassilonian stuff. He might head out there and get himself killed. Not a good idea.
Anyways, I am just glad to be back in Sandpoint for now with my good friends. I was so worried that I lost my friends last week, but I think we are okay now. We are all different in so many ways, but we make a great team.
Magically yours,
Grognard the Arcane
Helo spell buk!
Grognard iz so hapy to rite to yu in cawmin tuday! It tuk a vary vary long tym to lern, but Grognard iz geting much betur at it. Thank yu Awsk and Woofsister! Yu ar such grat frends and I cudent hav dun this withowt yu! I stil hav lots to lern, but reeding and riting mayks me fil so much smartur!
Woofsister iz so nise to help me wen I hav qwestchuns! I tri not to bothur hur to much - she luks lyk she iz xsitid to reed and lern in the lab we jest fownd.
Anyway, we bin vary bizy sinse I last roat in yu. Way bak then, we went to see the prest with So Chel. Wel, most of us did. Dok and Chakra and Mizter Pib must hav bin bizy with sumthing becuz we cudent fynd them. Dok wuz prabablee jest bizy with sumwun at the pixeez kitin agen but I wuz wureed that Chakra myt stil be angre and doing hur own thing. She mayd us all wureed last tym!
The prest sed a giant erthqake opind up the sink hol. Strayng sownds wer coming frum the hol so thay sent gards in, but thay never caym bak owt. Mizter prest askd us to chek it owt. Grognard iz hapy to help!
We fownd Mizter Pib and told him wut the prest sed, but Mizter Pib told us he cudent com along becuz he wuz fixing erthqake damege at his mom's store. Reelly? I meen it iz vary good to help yur family and all but I think thay wood understand that sumthing evil iz at the sink hol and peepol ar in trubel. That iz wut paladins do rite?
We askd the sharif to tel Dok and Chakra to meet up with us and we went into the sink hol. It wuz that same plase wayr we fawt the evil fary thing a few weeks ago but the evil fowntin wuz gon!
It also luked lyk sumwun cleend owt wun of the blokd off stayrways. Woofsister wuz so smart and fownd a secret door at the botum.
The halls insid wer vary fogy! I cud hardly see in frunt of me! ther wuz sum weerd riting on the walls, seeling, and flor. So Chel told me it wuz all prayrs to Lamashtu!
I started to heer sum angre voyses frum far away. I had no idea wut wuz being sed, but So Chel and Woofsister seemed to be talking to it. Must hav bin thasilonean jest lyk evrything els.
All of a suden, a giant scary evil demon ran down the hal and cast revers gravity! I held on to the wall and wuz okay, but my frends hit the seeling along with my wizard hat!
I wuz stil up on the seeling but I wuzent going to let evil get away agen! I charged the demon but gravity changed agen and I fel! Good thing So Chel wuz ther and cast blayd baryer to kil the demon. Awsum spell!
A voys then caym owt of nowere and started asking lots of qwestchuns. Stuf lyk wut hapend to thasilonea and hu the roolers ar now. The voys wuz acting lyk he wuz all awsum or sumthing becuz he fownd sum roonforg. Big deel! He also told us he wuz the gi hu roat Lamashtu's holy buk all over the grownd, walls, and seeling. Calls himself the skribler.
Dok and Chakra finaly showed up and thay talked to the skribler. Chakra askd sumthing that mayd the voys angre and he summoned sum demons to fyt us!
My frends later told me Chakra askd how mene monsters we had to kil down ther. Thay seemed kinda upset with Chakra abowt that, but I wuz prowd of Chakra for wanting to fyt evil insted of bargen with it lyk last tym.
We fawt off the skribler and his litel demons with all owr magic!
Woofsister cast grater dispel magic on the skribler and helped my magic work much betur. I cast inflikt sereus woonds with my wand of payn and hurt him reel bad. So Chel cast blindnes on the skribler and Awsk then cast disintigrat and turned him to dust. My wizard frends hav vary powerful spells!
Chakra fownd sumthing in the room that Dok sed wuz a cloo for fynding the roonforg the skribler kept going on and on abowt.
We also fownd the missing gards. Not a prity syt. Thay died badly.
We then ran into sum yeth hownds! Scary things! The evil demon dogs mayd a lowd noyz and Awsk and Dok ran away as qwik as can be. It wuz scary, but I stayed put and fawt them off. Magical fox girl Chakra and me mayd a grat teem!
My frends then fownd sum riting furthur in that sed a roonforged weapon can hurt a roonlord. I ges it kind of mayks sens wi the skribler gi wuz going on and on abowt fynding the roonforg now. But wi wuz the roonforg such a big deel to him? Wuz he planning on fyting a roonlord or sumthing?
We kept xploring the rest of the plase. Sumtyms sum of us wood go the rong direkshun. It wuz weerd, but wen wun of us sed evrywun els wuz going the rong way, evrywun kinda jest new wich way wuz the rite way to go.
Dok kept fynding a bunch of strayng sayings on the seelings and walls down ther. We went bak to the Hagfish and my frends peesed it all tugethur. Mizter Pib got to meet up with us ther to.
My frends wer prity sur thay new the plase the strayng sayings wer going on abowt. Its prity far north. I told them we shud telaport to Fort Ranik so I cud pick up Mizter Eats a Lot and ryd ther. Thay askd me wi and I told them all abowt how much I missed him. Thay sed no way and wanted to pay for a ship to tayk us ther. Poor Mizter Eats a Lot! I miss him so much but no wun ever lets me stop to get him, even wen its on the way!
We tuk the boring bote ryd up ther, leeving poor Mizter Eats a Lot all lonly and sad that his good frend Grognard wuzent ther. He thot all abowt the awsum adventurs we had and owr fun talks on owr jurnees. He then sat all alone, feeling so sad that no wun cared abowt him xsept Grognard. That no wun wuz ther to remind him to eat becuz he never eats enuf. That no wun at the fort tayks the tym to talk to him lyk his buddy Grognard did. Then he put down his hed for a nap and thot, maybe sumday, maybe SUMDAY sumwun wil let Grognard pick up his poor hors. Poor Mizter Eats a Lot! Hang in ther, buddy! Grognard never forgot abowt yu!
Wen we finaly arived up north, we saw seven stachoos in a sirkel. My frends luked arownd and sed we needed to cast spells frum eech skool of magic at the stachoos. I offered to help owt but my frends told me my magic iz so vary difrent that the stachoo myt not react no matur how powerful my spells ar.
I no my magic werks difrent and all but it sumtyms gets a litel frustrayting to heer this. It iz lyk if that smart gi at Sandpoynt kept teling Dok "You ar reely smart and awsum at this old boring thasilonea stuf, but leev it to me becuz yu not reely good enuf to help out. Yu jest go throw yur boms at stuf and leev evrything els to me becuz I am the reel smart gi heer." I no my frends ar not being meen or anything. I jest sumtyms fil lyk I don't fit in, even with the othur wizards. I am jest hapy to hav my frends and I don't want them to think me sum kind of fony balony wizard.
All of a suden wial we wer talking, a hyug old wyt dragon swooped in and breethed ies breth! That reely hurt!
Dok new jest wut to do and started throwing lots and lots of fire boms at the dragon. Woofsister cast grater dispel and it seemed to mayk the dragon angre. It flew rite at Woofsister and hurt hur bad with its tayl! Grognard wuz so wureed! I ran over to Woofsister and cast protekshun frum evil to sheeld hur frum the dragon.
I kept Woofsister sayf and Chakra cast invisibility and snuk up on the dragon. She hurt it bad and Woofsister got bak at the dragon and finished it off with a flaymstrik.
We then started casting spells at the stachoos agen and eech of them gayv us a kee.
We went to a cayv wayr that roonforg wuz supozd to be. Ther wer sum big erth elementals at the entrance and it luked lyk thay wer garding the plase.
Dok and Awsk got past the elementals okay so I went up ther to. All of a suden, the elementals started atakking me!
Dok then held up hiz evil star medal and sed sumthing that wuz prabablee thasilonean. The stachoos stoped atakking and went bak wayr thay yuzed to be. Nise sayv Dok! I stil don't lyk that evil star medal at all, but I ges Dok must no wut he iz doing.
Insid the cayv, we put the seven kees frum the stachoos into sum pillers and thay all lit up and a long pasij opind up. At the end of the hal wuz a room with seven othur paths heding owt frum it.
We wer all prity tyred frum fyting off that dragon, but Woofsister told evrybudy she had a new spell called fary ring retreet that wood let us relax and recover befor going into the othur tunnels.
We did this and it wuz grat! Ther wer prity flowers and birds and layks and trees! Ther wer animals and lots of food to eat! I wanted to stay there, but ther wer to mene peepol depending on Grognard. My frends also told me no.
So Chel figured owt that eech of the paths wuz asosheated with a sin. We went down the ferst wun wich he sed wuz prid.
Down the prid path, ther wer mirers on all the walls. All of a suden, Awsk showted to brak the mirers and fall bak. I ran up and cast shatur on the neerest mirror. Owt of the corner of my iys I saw sumthing! I luked and ther wer two othur Grognards casting bull rush! I tried my best to doj but I wuzn't mayd for fyting off so much awsum magic at wuns! That hurt!
Ausk shatured wun of the mirers and wun bad Awsk and wun bad Grognard disapeered!
My frends did a grat job fyting the othur bad Awsk and Grognard. I wanted to brak the othur mirer to but the bad Grognard wuz in the way! I cast my spells at the bad Grognard and finished him off. Jest wen I thot all the Grognards wer gone, another Grognard caym owt of the mirer!
I showted for sumwun to brak that mirer. All of a suden, Woofsister cast lytning and broke it rite befor the bad Grognard hit me and he disapeered! Thanks sister Woofsister!
Most of my frends wer invisibel and went a bit furthur in. I wanted to falo them to, but I wuz wureed. I didn't want to showt, but I askd “Ar ther any othur mirers owt ther?" Nobody ansered.
A few moments later, sum lowd voys showted sumthing. It wuz prabablee thasilonean agen. I stayed bak behind the wall, but then I herd Woofsister showt owt in pain! I ran owt! mirers or no mirers, Woofsister needed help!
I cudent see anywun atakking Woofsister, so I ran up to hur and askd if she wuz okay. She sed she saw six reely scary things com owt of nowere and wuz reely scared, but then she saw that all of them wer fayk and thay disapeered. Awsk and So Chel sed that it sounded lyk a whol lot of peepol cast fantasmal killer on her.
All of a suden, a fierball hit us! Wen I cud see agen after the bryt flash, Woofsister wuz gon!
I then had a horibel vizion! Luking bak on it now, I don't no xactly wut I saw, but Woofsister and Awsk wer ded in frunt of me and all of my othur frends wer caling me a murderer. It wuz so awful! I wuz abowt to kil myself with my wand of payn wen I notised that it all wuzn't reel and evrything disapeered. That must hav bin that fantasmal killer spell! Poor Woofsister! She must hav seen sumthing awful to!
I new the vishun wuzent reel, but it shook me up bad. I had to mayk sur Woofsister wuz okay after that fierball! I fownd hur passed owt on the flor and I picked hur up and started runing owt of there!
All of a suden, a weerd luking pecok caym owt of nowere and showted sumthing sounding thasilonean. I tried to keep my distence and get Woofsister owt of reach frum the pecok.
I then put Woofsister down and held owt a "cure sereus wounds" poshun to hur mowth. I cudent see her, but she wuz abel to drink it. I told hur I wuz sawry my heeling magic izn't any good.
There wer sum othur monsters in the room atakking us but I cudent tel wut thay were. The pecok sed sumthing and walked to a pecok stachoo and clozed its iys. I didn't no it, but the pecok wuz Chakra! She iz so awsum at casting poleemorf!
Ausk told us the things that jest atakked us wer simulacra. I am so vary glad Woofsister helped me spell that big word!
We luked arownd and fownd a fayk wall at the bak of the room. Ther wuz a ded gi bak ther and Dok red a journal that sed this gi yuzed a fansy clone spell to cheet deth. So Chel cast blud biografy and fownd owt this ded gi wuz a roonlord!
We luked at the othur rooms clos by and fownd a hol bunch of corpses all alyke. All of them luked lyk thay dyd only minits ago! I told evrywun we didn't no if the roonlord wuz reely ded, but So Chel cast speek with ded and fownd owt he reely did di.
We then ran into a room with six sucubus demons! Evil things!
All of a suden, Dok hit me with a fors bom! I thot that he must be under their control or sumthing and I noked the othur bom owt of hiz hands befor he cud throw it. I ges if anywun wuz going to let themselves be dominated by a sucubus, it wood be Dok.
We kept fyting the demons and Woofsister summoned a smilodon to fyt them. Owr fyt wuz going vary well, but then I luked over and the smilodon wuz geting a litel to frendly with wun of the sucubus demons. I did not want to see that. I meen, I'm not agenst mixed relayshunships, lyk an elf with a human, half-orc with a dwarf, wutever. Definitly not okay with this smilodon with a demon thing, tho. Woofsister, Awsk, and me wer reely disturbed and shared a botel of wine. We needed to flush that pikchur frum owr minds.
We then left and heded to the wrath hall. Woofsister showed us hur new poleemorf spell and turned into an erth elemental. Awsum!
We then went into the next room and I saw to sirkuler simbols on the floor. It must hav bin my thinking hat or sumthing, but I jest new that thay wer telaportashun portals!
Awsk, Chakra, and So Chel went threw the portal ferst. Me and the rest of my frends then went threw and saw a hol bunch of ded wizards and sinspawn. Wow! My frends mayd qwik work of them!
We went threw another portal and I saw sum glowing sords on the wall. So magical! I needed to tayk a closer luk. I cast arcane fyury and bull's strength and tried to pull wun of them owt with all my myt but it wuz reely stuk tight.
I then sensed that sumthing hapend. It got cold all of a suden and I herd sum of my frends cry owt! O no! I wuz so bizy with the magic sords that my frends got in trubel withowt me there!
I went up to the ege of sum dark luking smok. It luked evil but I needed to help my friends! I started to prepare myself and tuk sum deep breths.
Right befor I held my breth and ran threw it, So Chel showted that ther wuz revers gravity on the othur side of the smok! Thanks buddy!
All of a suden, the evil smok disapeered and I cud see my frends fyting a hyug swarm of poysunus frogs in the room! I needed to help! I showted "Hold on, I'm coming!" and started runing. I thot maybe if I run fast enuf I cud get past the revers gravity. I charged at the poysunus frogs and cast my spells with hayst!
All of a suden, So Chel put hiz hand on me and poynted to the evil wizard thay jest killed. He told me that Woofsister summoned the poysunus frogs and thay wer fyting the evil wizard, not the frogs! Him and the giant demon wer the reel thret. Big misunderstanding! Boy wuz my fays red!
I helped my frends and we finished off the evil demon together. Mizter Pib cast smite evil and reely hurt the demon and Dok finished it off with a fors bom.
I notised that Chakra's fays luked difrent and askd hur abowt it. It luked lyk ther wer two lytning bolts on hur forhed! My frends tuk a closer luk and wispered sumthing to her. I askd Chakra if she wuz going to be okay and if the mark wuz evil. She sed it wuzn't evil and wuz actuly a good thing! Wut a releef!
We went threw another telaportashun portal and fownd a lab of sum sort. Dok and Woofsister got reely xsitid! I am hapy for them but I hav a filing this iz going to be lyk the library all over agen. At leest it gayv me sum tym to rite in you, spell buk.
I think this cofee stuf iz growing on me. Dok and me hav bin drinking it to pass the tym. It mayks me fil strayng, ezpeshaly wen my hands shake. Dok sez I wil get yuzed to it eventuly, but I don't think I want to.
I keep napping wen I'm bored, but it seems lyk Dok and a few of the othurs never eat or sleep. I don't fil hungry or sleepy, but I eat and sleep anyway. Grognard stop eating? That's a funny wun!
Woofsister helped me rite this! Thank yu so much sister Woofsister! Leeping Woof iz prowd to be part of yur pak!
Magicaly yurs,
Grognard the Arcane
More Grognard the Arcane Journals, please?
I need to see if Grognard kept a copy of his journal. Ausk talked him into submitting it to the Pathfinder Society once they finished.