Would you kindly.....

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A hypnotic catchphrase has been anchored into your mind, making you do the request of the previous poster, in whatever fashion you deem fit for it to complete the objective.

Next poster:

Would you kindly remove that dog from the lawn.

Silver Crusade

*Whistles for the dog to come running into the house*

Next poster:

Would you kindly make a reference to another popular game series with your request to the NEXT poster.

Scarab Sages


Next poster:

Would you kindly get me a Chaos Emerald?

*Wanders off, bringing back a gem that radiates power.*

Next posterrr, would you kindly feed Gorilla Grodd his due bananas?

Certainly. He hates the taste, though, so they will have to be applied in enema form. I'll need a dozen bananas, a burlap sack, and an empty Pringles can.

Next poster, would you kindly soothe Grodd with the song of your people?


Next poster, would you kindly apply some ointment for GorillaGrod?

Shadow Lodge

*applies said ointment with handy dandy 10 foot pole*
Would the next poster kindly retrieve my 10 foot pole from Gorilla Grod's posterier?

*Drags the 10ft stick back*

Next poster, would you kindly burn down that church to Urgothao

Silver Crusade

*throws in three tons worth of alchemist fires followed up by a long distance fireball*

Next poster, would you kindly summon a pit fiend on the ruins?

Shadow Lodge

Next poster would you kindly return Cosmo to his pit at the Paizo office.

:waves a bottle of bourbon and a glazed doghnut to get Cosmo's attention, then tosses them into the pit as Cosmo charges, causing him to hurtle back into his pit:

Whew! That was exhausting. Next poster, would you kindly give me a full body massage?

:disrobes, climbs onto table, sans towel:

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I heard someone call the Dark Prince some time ago. I'M HERE NOW.

*Uses hellfire to give the best hot massage that only someone with Fire Immunity could probably survive... maybe.*

Next poster, would you kindly cool me down? It feels like a sauna here...

:sprays TFF with fluids that are most unwholesome, but refreshing as a cool country spring:

Would the next poster kindly scrub this burned crust off my back? It itches terribly.

*Scrubs it off with a terribly old brush*

GoatGroper go blind from groping, that not Fiend Fantastique.

Next poster, would you kindly perform lobotomy on GoatGroper? :)

Sovereign Court

With pleasure! Mwahahaha!

Next poster, would you kindly pass me my pizza cutter and ice cream scoop.

Shadow Lodge

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*rushes in with dull rusty ice cream scoop and a pizza cutter that looks more akin to s aw blade*
I hurried over as soon as I heard. Finally we get to see GT's inner most deepest dark thoughts.
*goes screaming into neither void after only a brief glimpse*
Next poster would you kindly divest my mind of these memories?

*Slices your skull open and ripps out your brain, freeing you from the memories, goblin style.*

Next poster, would you kindly bury Batman's corpse, preferably somewhere they can't find it ever again.

Sure thing! *Starts killing people looking for Batman's grave.*

Next poster, would you kindly dispose of the bodies of the the people looking for Batman's grave?

Shadow Lodge

*fires up the grill*
"Hey you goblins, dinner is on!"
Next poster, would you kindly supply some refreshments for these kind goblins.

Here, gobbos, some soup for you!

Once they have all eaten of it, of course, the pot is stirred and the pasta letters of the alphabet soup come flowing to the surface...

Next poster, explain to the gobbos what just happened.

Hey! Goblins! You just ate alphabet soup. You have to yell at them or they dont get it.

Next poster, would you kindly heat my coffee up for me?

*Returns the coffee at 190 degrees Fahrenheit as per standard McDonald's operating procedure circa 1992, but accidentally spills it on his lap*

Next poster, would you kindly help Molten Dragon to the hospital for those third degree burns?

Certainly. *Grabs MD and opens a portal to the 1st aid for burns post and drops him through it.*

Next poster, would you kindly rehabilitate Ulfen Death Squad into a properly behaving group.

Sovereign Court

Absolutely! He he he, time for my revenge!

*Bustles UDS into the first insane asylum in sight and then puts them on the 'behaviour correction' list.*

Next poster, would you kindly perform the procedure.

That sounds nice but I am not an approved doctor for his insurance.
Who is up for playing through Undermountain?

Next poster, would you kindly be our Dungeon Msster?

With relish! Triphoppenskip, fit our guests with leather and affix them to the tables. I'm off to retrieve my lashes and probes!

Next poster, would you kindly record the proceedings for posterity?

Sure thing. Let me put on my rain slicker and remove the full video tape of "GT's greatest conquests" and start filming.

Next poster would you kindly clean up after we are done?

Absolutely, just let me get the gasoline and matches.

Next post, would you kindly fire up the teleporter.

Don't mind if i do, a couple of firebolts will do the trick.

Next poster, would you kindly sink that dreanought?

Well, I've taken 12 Senokot and drunk a bottle of prune juice, so it's only a matter of time.

Next poster, would you kindly put this sword back into the stone?

Shadow Lodge

As you wish.
*pounds sword back into stone with hammer that seemed oddly difficult to lift*
next poster would kindly wake the tarrasque, it's time for it's feeding.

If I have to, but where will I find virgin goats with GoatToucher roaming around.

Net poster, would you kindly get the Tarrasque pooper scooper and take care of the mess.

You betcha, Mac! : puts on hard hat, lights up cigar and fires up the bulldozer pushing the poop over a cliff onto the halfling village below:

Next poster would you kindly help the halfling village with disaster relief.

Burns the village to the ground, thus removing the disaster. They're dead.

Next poster, would you kindly not request anything of the poster after you?

Ummm, sure?

Next poster? Wasssuuuuppppp?

The sky...

Next poster would you please reanimate the now dead halflings they are in the way of progress and need to help.

Sure thing... Now this will take some time, as you have to do things to the bodies that are so unpleasant that the spirits return to reanimate them in order to avoid what you are doing, and are willing to do as you command to keep you from doing it again. It's a long process, but hey: when you're doing what you love...

Next poster, would you kindly go to my "workroom" and retrieve a large trunk marked "Tools" and a large leather satchel marked "Probes: Medium Size"?

Don't poke around or linger too long. You don't want to get caught down there alone.

Shadow Lodge

Sorry couldn't find those medium probes, maybe if you just use the tip of the large probe.
Next poster, this could get messy, would you kindly get some portable wholes for the, ah, uncooperative bodies that won't be able walk out on their own.

Dark Archive

Sure thing!

Next poster, would you kindly throw this Handy Haversack into the portable hole to dispose of the bodies permanently?

Sovereign Court

Consider it done!

*Throws said Haversack into the whole, never to see it again.*

Next poster, would you kindly drive this Medusa around the bend? Careful, you don't want her to lose the veil.

*On it ape-grodd, Poog tie medusa up and put wheels on her. She drive good.*

Next poztur, would you kindly lock up the akata, before hospital become new house of the dead?

Shadow Lodge

No, that would ruin my plans.
NEXT POSTER! Would kindly escort this upstart goblin and it's pimped out Medusa ride back to whence it came?

*Label: to sir GorillaGrodd. Kind regards, parking lot management.*
Btw, you ARE compelled to execute the command ;)

Next poster, would you kindly have Jurassic Bard make an appearance?

Sovereign Court

I'll think about it, alright? :-)

Next poster, would you kindly compile the long awaited 'Deity Approval List' - which is a list showing which god ranks most popular - but just focus on the core twenty. :-)

Scarab Sages

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In ascending order....

20. Erastil - because screw that guy.
19. Abadar - AKA "God of the 1%"
18. Torag - only Dwarves like Him, and Golarion doesn't like Dwarves.
17. Rovagug - Could He...destroy the world? Egad, I hope not! It's where I keep all my stuff!
16. Iomedae - obligatory for many Paladins, but that's about it.
15. Norgorber - Poor guy. Everyone gets confused and thinks He's the god of baby food or something.
14. Gorum - Gorum! HUNH! What is He good for? Absolutely nuthin'!
13. Asmodeus - Cheliax loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an a%&@$!~.
12. Shelyn - Everyone agrees she's nice, but there's kind of a lack of pizzazz; the Jimmy Carter of Golarion.
11. Irori - Would be much more popular were it not for severe cultural translation problems (just for starters, His name's actually "Ilolli")
10. Sarenrae - kind of a victim of Her own success ("Um...she's, like, the goddess of Clerics, right?")
9. Lamashtu - Turns out there are many more perverts in the world than you'd like to believe....
8. Gozreh - what do you know? It really CAN paint with all the colors of the wind!
7. Pharasma - Instead of a dark lord, you shall have a queen! All shall love Her and despair!
6. Urgathoa - Kind of like Pharasma, except she approves of necromancy!
5. Desna - Butterfly in the sky? She can go TWICE as high!
4. Zon-Kuthon - Totally NOT voiced by Tim Curry, I swear!
3. Calistria - A little sacred prostitution goes a long way!
2. Cayden Cailean - Where else are you going to find a temple where watching the Cleric swing from the chandelier is a vital part of evening services?
1. Nethys - New and Improved Nyarlathotep: Now with 50% less Evil!

Next poster, would you kindly fetch the Dates of Fasting from the Oasis of the Seasons?

Yes!....but someone ate them,

Next poster, would you kindly investigate the crime.

Well, I went to the Oasis of the Seasons and everyone I talked to said this crazy jester/clown guy kept jumping out of closets and scaring the touristy folk. They also saw him hanging around the Dates of Fasting case then they were gone. I got a killer t-shirt from the Oasis of the Seasons gift shop though....

Next Poster, would you kindly read what my neat new t-shirt says to the rest of the class?

"Oasis of seasons. it's the place with the thing with the guy on the side."

Next poster, would you kindly baleful polymorph yourself and fail the saves?

Liberty's Edge

Gladly, I just need to learn how to cast spells.

Next poster, would you kindly never post in this thread? Ever?

42 (the answer to the question from the previous poster who didn't post a question)

Next poster, would you repeat the question that the previous poster who didn't post the previous question posted?

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