So i have a group that i play Rise of the Runelords with on a frequent basis, we all have fun and i enjoy the group however i find that i have run into an issue that is sapping some of the fun from the game for me. The group has made me the "butt monkey", they interrupt and generally ignore me alot of the time in favor of the others, when they ask a question even if i know the correct answer and speak up they ignore me and take the next one, and im rather consistently derided, laughed at, and ignored (big one here, i dont know why but being ignored is a major peeve of mine). The group is fun, and i like them most of the time. But i really wish i could shake this whole thing (to put it in perspective, them telling me to shut up is a running joke and they even do it on my turn sometimes). They are a great group and i enjoy the game, its just the random jokes and attacks get on my nerves. I have asked in the past for them to stop and they have completely ignored me, so i am at an impasse as to what i can do here. On one hand they act like jerks sometimes, but on the other i really enjoy the actual game (even if one of them has a tendency to make chars that metagame just to hate mine), i was hoping you guys may have some advice? i would really like it if you had ideas to make them stop as i really don't want to leave the game.
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Talk to them again, individually as an adult.
If that doesn't work, find another group.
Talk to them again, individually as an adult.
Im confused, do you mean talk to them each in an individual call?
If that doesn't work, find another group.
I would very much like to avoid this, i actually quite enjoy the games except for this one detail and i also actually like some of the people in the group, this only really happens on our wednesday games when the people i dislike are there and they are generally the instigators, though they tend to do this in chat as well
He means that you should bring this up to each and everyone one of them on a one-on-one basis and not as per of the group. People can be a~#%~+*s in group settings, especially when they know everyone else in on their side.
Taking to them individually will allow you to get away from the group persecution and be treated with respect. The one(s) that still show a lack of respect during your one-on-one conversation are the instigators and the real problem. You can deal with them differently or ask those who sympathize with you to show some peer pressure against them to get them to stop.
And you must do this face to face. No texting, no phone calls, no online chat. Real personal interaction is required.
Yup, individually and in person.
He means that you should bring this up to each and everyone one of them on a one-on-one basis and not as per of the group. Peppe can be a@~$@@%s in group settings, especially when they know everyone else in on their side.
as i know far too well
Taking to them individually will allow you to get away from the group persecution and be treated with respect. The one(s) that still show a lack of respect during your one-on-one conversation are the instigators and the real problem. You can deal with them differently or ask those who sympathize with you to show some peer pressure against them to get them to stop.
i know at least three of them , including the GM, are pretty cool guys. one of them doesnt ever get on outside of the games, but tends to be fine ingame. so out of our 7 person group that leaves myself, the dwarf barbarian, and S. S is generally kind of jerkish to me, but even worse ingame. The dwarf i have yet to see actually play.
And you must do this face to face. No texting, no phone calls, no online chat. Real personal interaction is required.
aaand here is where i hit a stonewall, we play in an online group, several of us live in other states, and a couple live in another country, so i unable to do this sadly
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I would give back worse than I got until it blew up. If somebody is bullying you that isn't cool and they deserve no respect. If the group is going to let it slide you get to vent your frustrations. If it disrupts the game you just say they started it and in the ensuing discussion you will not be ignored. Toxic games are no fun and most people quit being jerks if they have to take as good as they give. At the same time be willing to knock off the hostility if they do, otherwise you have become the jerk instead of them.
He means that you should bring this up to each and everyone one of them on a one-on-one basis and not as per of the group. Peppe can be a@~$@@%s in group settings, especially when they know everyone else in on their side.as i know far too well
Taking to them individually will allow you to get away from the group persecution and be treated with respect. The one(s) that still show a lack of respect during your one-on-one conversation are the instigators and the real problem. You can deal with them differently or ask those who sympathize with you to show some peer pressure against them to get them to stop.i know at least three of them , including the GM, are pretty cool guys. one of them doesnt ever get on outside of the games, but tends to be fine ingame. so out of our 7 person group that leaves myself, the dwarf barbarian, and S. S is generally kind of jerkish to me, but even worse ingame. The dwarf i have yet to see actually play.
And you must do this face to face. No texting, no phone calls, no online chat. Real personal interaction is required.aaand here is where i hit a stonewall, we play in an online group, several of us live in other states, and a couple live in another country, so i unable to do this sadly
I was afraid of that. In person is best, phone is next best, if you have to do it online, get an intermediary to assist - preferably the GM of s\he is on your side.
If all else fails or if you want to take the easy route, just get the GM to help you. At the very least the GM can put a stop to all of it with a few choice words (such as, stop it or I'll find a new player.")
He means that you should bring this up to each and everyone one of them on a one-on-one basis and not as per of the group. Peppe can be a@~$@@%s in group settings, especially when they know everyone else in on their side.as i know far too well
Taking to them individually will allow you to get away from the group persecution and be treated with respect. The one(s) that still show a lack of respect during your one-on-one conversation are the instigators and the real problem. You can deal with them differently or ask those who sympathize with you to show some peer pressure against them to get them to stop.i know at least three of them , including the GM, are pretty cool guys. one of them doesnt ever get on outside of the games, but tends to be fine ingame. so out of our 7 person group that leaves myself, the dwarf barbarian, and S. S is generally kind of jerkish to me, but even worse ingame. The dwarf i have yet to see actually play.
And you must do this face to face. No texting, no phone calls, no online chat. Real personal interaction is required.aaand here is where i hit a stonewall, we play in an online group, several of us live in other states, and a couple live in another country, so i unable to do this sadlyI was afraid of that. In person is best, phone is next best, if you have to do it online, get an intermediary to assist - preferably the GM of s\he is on your side.
If all else fails or if you want to take the easy route, just get the GM to help you. At the very least the GM can put a stop to all of it with a few choice words (such as, stop it or I'll find a new player.")
i have just tried and the GM says he wont get involved, and im too... whats the word? Timid? mild? to start spouting profanities at someone unless they really get me mad, which is the only advice he had
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Well, one thing you have going for you is that it's an online game. Online games are easier to find than IRL games.
Since the GM didn't have your back, then your options are as follows:
1) Let it continue to happen. As others have said, this option can include fighting back with your own insults or just be meek and let them be bullies.
2) talk to each player individually (or even as a group, but you'll be less successful here) to get them to stop. If they are mature and respectful, they'll listen and stop their bullying activities.
3) find a new game with players that are more respectful and more mature.
Which ever you choose, feel free to vent here or just tell us your decision. We try not to be bullies here. Best of luck.
Well, one thing you have going for you is that it's an online game. Online games are easier to find than IRL games.
Since the GM didn't have your back, then your options are as follows:
1) Let it continue to happen. As others have said, this option can include fighting back with your own insults or just be meek and let them be bullies.
2) talk to each player individually (or even as a group, but you'll be less successful here) to get them to stop. If they are mature and respectful, they'll listen and stop their bullying activities.
3) find a new game with players that are more respectful and more mature.
Which ever you choose, feel free to vent here or just tell us your decision. We try not to be bullies here. Best of luck.
thanks for the advice, the bad one (S) is being a huge pain tonight, hes arguing about EVERYTHING, he spent half the night so far trying to convince me that all the magic item creation feats should be one feat, and that weapon finesse and slashing grace should be one as well, and i had to actually explain to him how stupidly unbalanced that could be
Dear god. S is playing a dhampir and he managed to talk the DM into letting him take abilities from the vampire template as feats, he says at 3rd level he is going to take Create Spawn, and he is talking about using it on my character. Personally i think the DM isnt stupid enough to actually allow this and i messaged him about it but S keeps saying that the DM said he could "pick any he wanted"
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Dear god. S is playing a dhampir and he managed to talk the DM into letting him take abilities from the vampire template as feats, he says at 3rd level he is going to take Create Spawn, and he is talking about using it on my character. Personally i think the DM isnt stupid enough to actually allow this and i messaged him about it but S keeps saying that the DM said he could "pick any he wanted"
Leave the group and join roll20.net. Find a new group. I have been in 3 groups so I know there are decent ones out there.
Dear god. S is playing a dhampir and he managed to talk the DM into letting him take abilities from the vampire template as feats, he says at 3rd level he is going to take Create Spawn, and he is talking about using it on my character. Personally i think the DM isnt stupid enough to actually allow this and i messaged him about it but S keeps saying that the DM said he could "pick any he wanted"Leave the group and join roll20.net. Find a new group. I have been in 3 groups so I know there are decent ones out there.
i already play on roll20, but people dont play on wednesdays for some reason, i also was the one who formed this group and i dont wanna have to leavve because the old GM invited an ****** then immediately left, and the new gm is super "leave me out of it" but this is sorta my group and everybody except the ***hat are actually prettyy fun guys to play with, do you have anyy ideas on how to get the GM to kick the ****?
i already play on roll20, but people dont play on wednesdays for some reason, i also was the one who formed this group and i dont wanna have to leavve because the old GM invited an ****** then immediately left, and the new gm is super "leave me out of it" but this is sorta my group and everybody except the ***hat are actually prettyy fun guys to play with, do you have anyy ideas on how to get the GM to kick the ****?Dear god. S is playing a dhampir and he managed to talk the DM into letting him take abilities from the vampire template as feats, he says at 3rd level he is going to take Create Spawn, and he is talking about using it on my character. Personally i think the DM isnt stupid enough to actually allow this and i messaged him about it but S keeps saying that the DM said he could "pick any he wanted"Leave the group and join roll20.net. Find a new group. I have been in 3 groups so I know there are decent ones out there.
Ask him to do it. Talk to everyone else in the group and get everyone's support to kick him out. If everyone but the problem guy and the GM want to kick him out, then kick them both out and find a new GM (or volunteer yourself!). Put it up to vote and have everyone vote him out.
Or find a new group altogether. Heck, you could even find a new group and only invite the ones you like from the current group.
If I could an online game, I'd even join in and help you deal with the bully. I really don't like bullies.
i already play on roll20, but people dont play on wednesdays for some reason, i also was the one who formed this group and i dont wanna have to leavve because the old GM invited an ****** then immediately left, and the new gm is super "leave me out of it" but this is sorta my group and everybody except the ***hat are actually prettyy fun guys to play with, do you have anyy ideas on how to get the GM to kick the ****?Dear god. S is playing a dhampir and he managed to talk the DM into letting him take abilities from the vampire template as feats, he says at 3rd level he is going to take Create Spawn, and he is talking about using it on my character. Personally i think the DM isnt stupid enough to actually allow this and i messaged him about it but S keeps saying that the DM said he could "pick any he wanted"Leave the group and join roll20.net. Find a new group. I have been in 3 groups so I know there are decent ones out there.
It seems like he is afraid of confrontation so the GM is not going to do anything about it, and I agree weekdays are more difficult to find players for.
I don't know what else to tell you other than to start working on another group.
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If the GM is stupid enough to let something like this continue after you expressly asked him for assistance then he is probably stupid enough to let the other player use his newfound vampiric abilities on you. I would get out if I were you unless the pro's outweigh the cons. Yes it's nice to have others that are fun to play with but one bad apple is all it takes to spoil the bunch. Talk to the others and see if they can help since the gm has no bawz. If not then they are all already spoiled and not worth any further effort.
As others say, leave.
Its unlikely to stop, and your chief tormentor is in a position to walk all over your character cos the GM let him do stupid things.
People who act like spiteful children won't stop because you ask them. Find another group or do something else before you regret it.
i have just tried and the GM says he wont get involved, and im too... whats the word? Timid? mild? to start spouting profanities at someone unless they really get me mad, which is the only advice he had
That's your problem right there. A GM who avoids conflict and is afraid to intervene and impose order on a group.
Find another a group. You're not going to find the respect you are after there.
That goes second if you're unable or unwilling to directly confront the players individually yourself. Yes, it is that simple.
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I couldn't help feeling after reading your posts that this is not a good group of people to play with, and you deserve better. I find it hard to imagine that you are really enjoying the game with the other players treating you this way, Hazrond. Perhaps because you are not face-to-face with them, their rudeness doesn't seem as bad. But you do deserve better. You should not waste your time playing with people who don't treat you with respect and courtesy. No game is worth being treated this way.
The other posters who have advised you to drop out of this game are probably right. These people will not change their behavior. They have no incentive to change. Find a group of people who will treat you with respect. You'll enjoy the game much more.
This is easy to fix. First talk to everyone except the trouble maker and see if they want to kick him out. If they do then boot him, simple. However if they don't then start a new group and only invite the ones you like from this one. I would suggest you find a new GM as well, this guy is a total doormat and that isn't going to end well.
Actually, from the sounds of it, it sounds as if they play in a different style of game than what you typically want.
Remember, the GM is master of the game and has rule 0 at his fingertips.
Many do NOT see fluff as rules (and if not a number, they feel that they don't even have to attempt to utilize it). It appears that your group does not take fluff into account for their game in many situations. It sounds this applies to racial choices, and as such you may have a world where everyone is okay with Vampires living next to them and drinking their blood.
Now normally I'd say that makes having bad guys far more complex since even guys drinking your blood aren't avoided in society...but many games of these types ignore the social ramifications of having these types of things occur in society, and bad guys are bad guys just because.
THIS is a playstyle, but it does not sound like YOUR playstyle.
From the sounds of it, this is a conflict of playstyles more than anything else. The others got aggravated because they want to play one way, and you have pushed against it to play another way.
In this instance the ONLY way I can see this getting resolved is either settle down and play as the rest of the group plays, OR...find another group.
I of course could be wrong, but from what has been described, this is what it sounds like is occurring to me.
Actually, from the sounds of it, it sounds as if they play in a different style of game than what you typically want.
Remember, the GM is master of the game and has rule 0 at his fingertips.
Many do NOT see fluff as rules (and if not a number, they feel that they don't even have to attempt to utilize it). It appears that your group does not take fluff into account for their game in many situations. It sounds this applies to racial choices, and as such you may have a world where everyone is okay with Vampires living next to them and drinking their blood.
Now normally I'd say that makes having bad guys far more complex since even guys drinking your blood aren't avoided in society...but many games of these types ignore the social ramifications of having these types of things occur in society, and bad guys are bad guys just because.
THIS is a playstyle, but it does not sound like YOUR playstyle.
From the sounds of it, this is a conflict of playstyles more than anything else. The others got aggravated because they want to play one way, and you have pushed against it to play another way.
In this instance the ONLY way I can see this getting resolved is either settle down and play as the rest of the group plays, OR...find another group.
I of course could be wrong, but from what has been described, this is what it sounds like is occurring to me.
well, its not quite everybody the others dont reallyy care it seems except ofr S, which i had to spend an hour explaining to him why creating undead from people and using them for good is at best neutral and how that vampires would not be able to find people who would willingly donate blood to them in sandpoint, THEN i had to explain to him why the dominate ability of the vampire is much worse than constant nonmagical spiderclimb, WTF is wrong with this idiot?
well, its not quite everybody the others dont reallyy care it seems except ofr S, which i had to spend an hour explaining to him why creating undead from people and using them for good is at best neutral and how that vampires would not be able to find people who would willingly donate blood to them in sandpoint, THEN i had to explain to him why the dominate ability of the vampire is much worse than constant nonmagical spiderclimb, WTF is wrong with this idiot?Actually, from the sounds of it, it sounds as if they play in a different style of game than what you typically want.
Remember, the GM is master of the game and has rule 0 at his fingertips.
Many do NOT see fluff as rules (and if not a number, they feel that they don't even have to attempt to utilize it). It appears that your group does not take fluff into account for their game in many situations. It sounds this applies to racial choices, and as such you may have a world where everyone is okay with Vampires living next to them and drinking their blood.
Now normally I'd say that makes having bad guys far more complex since even guys drinking your blood aren't avoided in society...but many games of these types ignore the social ramifications of having these types of things occur in society, and bad guys are bad guys just because.
THIS is a playstyle, but it does not sound like YOUR playstyle.
From the sounds of it, this is a conflict of playstyles more than anything else. The others got aggravated because they want to play one way, and you have pushed against it to play another way.
In this instance the ONLY way I can see this getting resolved is either settle down and play as the rest of the group plays, OR...find another group.
I of course could be wrong, but from what has been described, this is what it sounds like is occurring to me.
oh and i forgot to mention, his argument was completely based around throwing stupid extremes at me whenever i tried to explain anything to him. When i tried to explain to him why draining people's blood was an evvil act he started saying "well a paladin who hunts down cultists is killing people too, and since self-defense is a good act (he thinks if you do enough neutral actions no matter how good you are you will fall to neutral and therefore misconstrued me as saying self-defense is good) then the paladin would fall for attacking the cultists and the cultists did a good act killing him", and i told him things are more complicated than that and he said no they arent, so then i tried to explain why a vampire army was a bad idea to him and he tried to f#$!ing compare his hypothetical CG vampire to IOMEDAE, saying that because i am saying he is evil and he runs an army she is evil because she runs an army. dear GOD this man is a retard of the highest degree
I don't understand why you are wasting your time with this idiot. Accept that you will never change his attitude or mind and cut this group loose. If you wish to then invite the reasonable people from the group to a new group minus idiot and idiot GM.
I don't understand why you are wasting your time with this idiot. Accept that you will never change his attitude or mind and cut this group loose. If you wish to then invite the reasonable people from the group to a new group minus idiot and idiot GM.
sadly, i dont think they will come, also the GM has given new information, apparently if the dhampir tries anything crazy with the create spawn ability he plans to have him mobbed by murderous villagers (apparently sandpoint has a history of serial killers?)
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I'm going to be a bit proactive with my advice. Though I do not know you, I generally consider myself a friendly guy. I run two games a week and I have sent you a private message with the details on my weekday game which is normally on thursdays but I can ask my group to play on Wednesday instead. The information is in the PM.
I have been in this kind of situation before and it's as Wei Ji the Learner said, it's almost like an abusive relationship you feel you cannot change.
So there you go, an open invitation for something different.
There is no place for bullies at a game table. I know you say they are nice guys but nice guys don't sit idle when a person is being bullied.
My recommendation is to find an ally at the table. When the bullies start they now have 2 people to contend with. Then pick up a 3rd ally, and 4th and so on until there are no bullies left.
You sound like a great guy Hazrond, I'm real sorry you have to deal with this kind of crap.
Sounds to me like it's not worth it.
Life's too short. There are plenty of gamers out there who will show fundamental respect for their fellow players. With technology what it is now, it's easier than ever to get there.
Sounds like the only message they're going to understand is "goodbye."
