Why the Dynamic Staff isn't just the Ring of Spell Storage...In all seriousness, none of the following is remotely intended as a personal attack, and I think the idea of the staff has merit, I just disagree (a lot) about pricing and balance.
** spoiler omitted **...
Discourse on the items should be the point of these threads and so its appreciated.
I'll try to respond in spoilers.
You may be right on this one, though I will point out it's unclear if you need to do a full casting of the spell or not, and I think it should be semi-clear how I was confused.
The full text of the item regarding recharging it is:
A spellcaster can cast any spells into the ring, so long as the total spell levels do not add up to more than 5. Metamagic versions of spells take up storage space equal to their spell level modified by the metamagic feat. A spellcaster can use a scroll to put a spell into the minor ring of spell storing.
Which I feel is unclear about how it would work. Do I need to just do the spell as per normal and cast it into the ring (as if casting,etc.) or is it like scribing a scroll, etc. It would have been nice if they just included a little clarity, but I can see how it should just be read as "cast as normal"
It wouldn't be the first time a magic item were broken either, in the hands of enterprising characters.
That was just one of my many complaints though and while it makes the Ring less broken, my Staff still isn't that thing.
I'm sorry, I'm not following your short-hand.
First up, I'm unsure what "It isn't a staff with CL13 and three spells whose level/charges = 1. It's a staff with any three spells whose level/charges = 1. And yes, if an item can cast 9th level spells, it needs to have a CL of 17." would mean in terms of Magic Item Crafting rules (specifically "What do you mean by "=1", 1 what?).
Next up, it's a staff, so it seems you'd want to use the crafting rules for Staffs. So adjusting up the CL (which I agree is necessary), and using wish like I did with limited wish because they could function as basically any other spell 8th level or lower. LETS SAY FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT THERE COULD BE A 10th LEVEL VERSION OF THE SPELL that let ANY 9th level spell as per how wish and limited wish work. I'd even bump the caster level up to 20th for calculations (then drop it for the listing). And even using the primary spell cost using the staff rules three times, I'd calculate:
400 gp × the level of the highest-level spell × the level of the caster which is then Divide the cost of the spell by the number of charges it consumes to determine its final price. to mean => 400 gp x 10 x 20 = 80,000 gp <divided by charges to cast of 9> => 8,888.9 gp then I'd multiply that X3 for Primary Spell, Secondary Spell, Tertiary Spell (without again adjusting to 75% and 50% of cost) ==> 26,666 gp. That's base price. I'd even see rounding it to either at least 27,000 gp or even up to 30,000 gp base, which would double to a 54,000 gp or 60,000 gp marketprice. Which I'd still have been fine with actually.
But your next point I suppose is exactly why I was keeping the Caster Level artificially low --- by making the Staff HAVE to have a CL 17, it meant EVERY spell cast from it could default to that. I WANTED it to be more likely that the user would rely on their own CL, instead so I was keeping it low.
At this point [/b]what I should have done was give up the design[/b] because to make what I wanted was basically too broken. I see that now.
I'm confused by your shorthand again in your second pricing, or rather, the rule you enact. You mention "5/day = same cost as at-will" but I'm not sure where that is coming from? Is it a reworking of the math from the "Special" rule concerning Charges per Day listing on the Estimating Cost Table? Because that doesn't = to "at will" per say.
And then, again, it was meant to be a staff, so why not use the staff rules, and those make it clear how to handle it. I "think" you mean to say that something like "from that one special rule, 5 of a thing is = "any" and then for a staff it can have 5 "anys" so it could have up to 15 possible spells and that would be equal to any 3 spells and then you need to apply the 15 spells (of what level?) x 17 x the normal pricing or??? I don't know. Like I said, it confused me.
Even trying to work it backwards, 112,200 gp (is that market or base price) divided by 17 CL = 6,600 gp. Divided by 400 it would = 16.5...
I don't think that is what you meant either, especially since even best cast (a full charged staff) you could at best cast 19 1st level spells out of it (recharging it part of the way through the day with a 9th level spell)... which, if you're able to cast 9th level spells to imbue the staff, are 19 1st level scrolls out of your budget? (roughly 8,075 to make 1st lvl scrolls with a 17 CL, or better yet, just a wand with 12,750 gp and get an extra 31 charges, not wasting your 9th level spell for the day). <that would be around 3% of your wealth as a 17th lvl character>
One thing about your idea of getting to cast extra 1st level spells more times per day (which a lot of means exist to do this, so it's not like it doesn't happen) using the Staff, I was in part less concerned when I realized that "most" 1st and 2nd level spells have fairly low maximum effects by caster level. In your example with divine favor and shield of faith the first ONLY lasts 1 minute, and maxes out at +3 at 9th level, but the second is a little more abusable, in that it's bonus maxes out at +5 at 18th level (so the staff only goes up to +4) and it lasts longer thanks to a long caster time. That is the kind of use I was expecting people to be upset about, but then I'd probably point to all the items that people compared my item to say that it's not that radically unheard of to get to do that with pearls of power and rings of wizardy etc.
Going back to my main point for this spoiler though, most lower level spells max out fairly early, like those that cause direct damage or heal hit points, etc. Extending the durations is useful though.
Again, part of why I wouldn't want the CL to be 17th level, but again, that means I'm wanting a broken item, and shouldn't have done it.
Taking into consideration how you corrected my view of the Ring, I'd still question these three:
* Spells cast from the staff are not depleted, and so can be cast again if sufficient charges are available. Spells cast from the ring are depleted and cannot be cast again until put back in. Staff wins.
-- While your presentation of the situation is accurate, your not having the user of the Ring and the Staff use the items in similar ways for similar effects... To be a fair comparison, it would seem the user of both should want to cast essentially the same 10 spell levels worth of spell, be it as having 10 1st level spells in the Ring or using 10 charges, one at a time to cast 10 1st level spells. The Staff would win becuse each casting is minimum CL 17 vs. CL minimum for spell cast, but that is a different point where you have the Staff winning.
* The staff can store any three spells, regardless of level, and cast up to 10 levels when fully charged. The major ring can store 10 levels of spells. Given the versatility Staff wins.
-- This one your premise is incorrect, spells in Staff have to be those WITHOUT costly components. The Ring CAN hold ANY spells. But what you're really going for is that the Staff could have 3 9th level spells, where as the Ring could only have 1 9th level + 1 1st. While true, and I'd say the Staff wins there, its not exactly a fair feeling comparison (also, getting 3 9th level spells into the staff would take some doing and waste some charges likely, and/or take 3 days + to do, etc. which is all a different point really).
* The staff requires you to prepare or know only 1 spell on the staff to recharge it. The ring requires you to have on hand all the spells you want to use it with. Staff wins.
-- It's unclear, but you could recharge the ring with a scroll. I'm uncertain if you can imbue a staff via. scroll? While not the same issue, it seems related because a non-caster could take advantage of the ring better as far as reuse vs. a staff.
>>> Added feature, maybe I should have made it clearer in my write up too, that you should have still needed to follow the basic staff rule that "you must imbue a staff with the highest possible spell in the staff" then added rules that "if you don't, all spells above the level used to recharge are lost" ---> that might have been a powerful deterrent and helped drop the view of it being too powerful for the cost.
You specifically say "because UMD 20 at that level is trivial for any class who wants to use it" --- It's only a class skill for Bards, Rogues, and Sorcerers (from Core), and even at 20th level, you don't have an impossible number of ranks to just toss around. The Cleric, Wizard, Fighter with only 2 ranks per level might want to focus on other skills BUT even if they did put point into it, it not being a class skill gives them no +3 bonus. Assuming decent Chr with a +2 bonus, unless they've dumped a skill point into it for every class level up to 17, there's still a "more than just a roll of a 1" that leads to failure
AND, ANY TIME you make a roll, there's a 1 in 20 (5%) chance you do roll that natural 1. Depending on how you play your game, that could be catastrophic to just mildly annoying. Also, most GMs I've played with apply all the normal rules for trying to use said item in combat, etc. and modify that UMD roll as needed (trying to use a staff in the middle of combat shouldn't be easy/could fail a lot of ways if you're not used to doing it/casting defensively, etc.).
My point being I wouldn't trivialize it.
Your recommendation to rely on imbue with spell ability is likely wise, but I that makes it fairly boring and much more similar to the items that exist I'm guessing.
I might have maybe stuck with my CL and schema, but limited it to 6th level spells a la my use of limited wish which I'd find mildly better, but my pricing would have been exactly what I posted and I wouldn't have likely fared better in the competition because people didn't like my recharge mechanic at all.
If it were going to be published though, I'm guessing your version is the least broken.
TL;DNR: Thank you. Your analysis was very solid (though I was confused occasionally by your shorthand). I think my main take away is that you showed me once and for all how what I wanted to make the dynamic staff is really a "broken" concept and thus I should have abandoned the project if/when I had figured that out for something else. To this point, most of the critiques hadn't really lead me to that opinion.
Catch up slacker :P
Hey! I got a lot going over here! :P I think I should get caught up today.
The Vengeful Scribe's Penknife, which I did after getting critiques here on the boards. Feedback always welcome!
Written as if I didn't know about your original Pen
The Vengeful Scribe's Penknife -- Filler --- Another dagger! A whole lot of those this year, but I understand why, it's got a great design space. Could do a lot of books on daggers. Anyways, this is a fairly expensive dagger, but I see why --- a dagger that counts as a greatsword! I wonder how abusable this would be for say rogues and sneak attack? I might have not bothered with keen especially if it dropped the price (and too, I'd be curious --- would Improved Critical count this thing as a dagger or a greatsword for that effect? I know they don't stack, I meant "in lieu of") Ignoring fortification I've NEVER heard of personally, though a precedent may exist. By virtue of being a +5 weapon, it already ignores every DR I know of save "X/-" which is also something that shouldn't be messed with. Rather than keen, I'd have made it count as having been made of adamantine, that helps ignore stuff too like DR. The critical focus stuff is tagged on and should jack up price more. I think the name and use is a joke on the "pen is mightier" and it may have been more interesting as a pen. Just realized too, you made it Small size... that's just extra mean :P Could have just been a dart needle at this point or scalpel.
Comment with Knowledge.
I liked it more as a pen... but that's in part because I know the big ol' quills that pens were made of and have used one for calligraphy, etc. I could stab a person and hurt them with it, though it might break the pen... hence the need for an adamantine tip! or something. That said, you kind of OVER did it on what it becomes. I think a +5 keen greatsword would be up there for "most useful weapons" in terms of damage output, and even at this price, 5 times per day is crazy... because its all attacks.
Not a bad 2nd draft though, as you have it, it would be a really good filler item, or even a featured item of a book of items for scribes and about books (a whole book playing on "knowledge is power" and "the pen is mightier" etc.)
Page 9 of Official Critique Thread
Coiling Poison Staff - Filler - So, is there anything that runs through the staff or is more a bag of of creature heads in snake leather? Anyways... Your spell list is solidly themed. The next line of abilities limits a little by class, and there are others that I could foresee that should get these benefits, which are cool. Poison immunity isn't that rare... I might have preferred to see it applicable to more classes and/or limited to poisons from reptiles or something, there are many other poisons so completely immunity I always feel is overpowered but then there are a bunch of ways to gain that exact ability. Shrug.
Rod of Gravity - Filler - A second gravity-themed rod. I like the fact you used "she" but I can't recall, do they do that with any of the magic items? It would make sense if they themed it to when an item would be usable only for a single class that has a female Iconic or something. Otherwise... it seems like a really good version of the "gravity spells in a stick!" It's largely just various SiaCs as such, but it's a well made version of that.
Ring of the Deific Caster - Filler - I'm not sure about this item. For once, its got a few abilities. you spend a long time talking about the description/source of it, but it only kind of matters (it doesn't specify it only works for a single god for instance, who's holy symbol was used to craft it).The +1 bonus to overcome SR is nice and all, and then the whole spirit ally that comes out of the ring... so its a "friend in a can" kind of spell, but they also get the bonus to overcome SR... I just don't see it. First off, it's useful only to a caster, and likely a divine caster (though its unspecific again about who can use it and one made from say a God of All that Is Good and Holy symbol could be worn by a devil? Also, spirit ally in a can is boring. Then at the end you have this thing about the ring being aligned... which may be you trying to specify but it's unclear in my mind. Also, why the 7 circles? You never went back to that, which feels like it was a shame. Neat visual but ultimately it's a filler design.
End of Page 9 Critiques
Page 10 of Official Critique Thread
Spelldrinker - Filler - Name is boring/reads like something I've read before. Spell"syphon" is better I'd have said. That DC 22 feels high, but its also how high it needs to be to be effective. Feels like this is all much wordier than it needs to be and could have been described more concisely. That all said, it's not an original feeling spell or idea, and while it's not a bad version of this kind of item, it feels like a kind of item.
Glacial Crusher - Filler - Frost weapons feel very classic, and while you're trying to "reinvent" them a bit with a new mechanic, it's not a great mechanic, and its not well presented (I'd rather the clinging shards of ice last longer and then deal piercing/cold damage or something). Its an interesting idea, and in a cold-themed book it would be fitting, but as it is, its filler and kind of dull. Also, name doesn't entirely fit the effects of the item.
Quill of the Peacock Spirit - Rewrite - I had no idea what a "totem spear" was and I needed to go find it on d20pfsrd.com and it looks like it comes from a Pathfinder #10??? And in many ways its just a long ramble and jumble beyond that. You mix ki and bardic performances and ancient Peacock Spirit cults and Pathfinder Society scholars and... in the end I see this as being like "once upon a time this was THE signature weapon of the monks dedicated to the Peacock Spirits, and they had a weird way to make music with it that DID STUFF!" which is "neat" but not "Superstar!" because I, whom is only somewhat familiar with Golarion, have no clue what you're talking about. And in 300 words, you'd never be able to convey it. It has a cool name and provokes some interesting ideas, but it should be the treasure at the end of an adventure, or like, the relic that must be recovered, etc. It's not actually a "usable" item per se, and so it falls for me this round to being Filler. Next year, I might make a new category if I do this like "Plot Device" or something and THAT's what this would be.
Heaven's Tether - Filler - I'd say it would be better to have dropped reverse gravity since you seem focused with the ability on low level effects. A staff that focuses on this stuff isn't a "bad" idea, it's just not a great one. Your spell list (with reverse gravity) is neat, but the cost of this thing puts it at a point where 3rd lvl fly just negates most of its usefulness. This is just an odd note/question: to be able to really use feather fall effectively, i.e. while falling, etc. it's slowed I think by being in a staff, because casting spells from a staff normally defaults to a standard action... so I'd have liked to see that aspect addressed.
Up Chuck - Filler, with a new name - Horrible Name. Almost just rejected out of hand <vomit joke, maybe you didn't realize it?>. That said, looking at the actual item it's "ok" but I think it's done before and better. Basically, you can go all "David and Goliath" by launching a wee little pebble that becomes a boulder. I like the addition of the "can be used for cover/rough terrain" aspect and for that reason you make it have a reason to exist, but it exists as filler. NEEDS A NEW NAME!!!
Ring of Insight - Filler - Welcome to RPG Superstar! Anyways, a ring that see's the future, with a new but odd mechanic. I've never seen anything quite like it, and it's not a bad thing per se, but I don't think I overly like it. That kind of mechanic is normally more reserved for cursing and/or bad lucking of an enemy. Alternately, even just giving said effect as a bonus to "any DC or AC to hit or effect you" would make it more like you gain it because you've gained some insight. The bonus +1 insight would stack with say a cloak of resistance I believe, but that may be purposeful on your part. It makes me question the price though, because even that ability isn't bad and few things give an insight bonus to saves that I know of off the top of my head.
Glitterbane - Filler - I very much saw this during voting, and disliked the name then too. Even now too, no idea why it's Glitterbane... feels like it should be the bane of all glitter then? Not able to use glitter to be a (giant's) bane. Anyways, Small/gnome warriors need love too, and I appreciate that you added this here, but I've seen it done before and better basically. It's really expensive too for what it grants you, how many invisible giants do you even need to fight (isn't that the point of the spell glitterdust. Finally you suffer because of this being a thing.
<<HEY!!! Allana, Sneaking your item on the Official Critique Thread! BAH!!! You outta be busy being a Top 32er! >>
Knife of the Consummate Chef - Rewrite, but could have been Publishable for Idea - I actually like your item, or rather your idea. If you'd done the research you talked about, but stuck to making this item, I think you could have gotten something interesting. Comments beyond that are "why ever should/would you make this out of adamantine? Isn't that stuff rare and expensive!" And then I'd talk about how, while kind of neat to reward players for having ranks in something like Profession (chef) or Craft (cooking), etc. it's not a clear mechanic itself which works against you, especially since I know of no specific examples. Also, items, sadly, aren't maid to "level" much in this game... for some reason, so that kind of rubs against the grain of "traditional" design.
Scale of the Final King - Rewrite - I saw this during voting and thought "meh, seen it before." looking closer now, it still reminds me of various other shields, etc, I've seen and that makes it filler. The fact it effects negative (and in theory, positive? what if an undead creature is wielding it) is kind of odd, and actually interesting but I don't think you realize how you were crossing a different kind of line. Postive vs. Negative energy are NOT part of the "elemental energy" energies for many reasons. Also, the mechanics don't seem to fit perfect as I'd be able to charge it little damage to detonate for more damage?
End of Page 10 Critques
I may do the remaining pages and 21-22 items (plus whatever else gets posted before I post it) as one or two big posts... cuz so few per page, etc.
Page 11 of Official Critique Thread
Rod of Divine Empowerment - Rewrite - This is a new idea to the best of my knowledge, but it might be that because it might be an overpowered one. In one way, you could abuse the crap out of this I'd worry to get a lot of extra spells, especially since you can still heal the party with your channel energy. Also, your wording is such that it makes me question if any kind of positive energy can be converted (from a cure light wounds spell?) or just from a channel energy class ability? I think you mean the later, which is better... I like the idea of a conservation of energy, but I'd feel better about this basic mechanic if it just outright let the wielder convert one or more of their channel energy uses per day to equal regaining a spell. BETTER, I'd like if let them convert one or two (if you said it took 2 channel energies and no one else could gain the benefits of the healing power, secondary effects, etc., then I KNOW it would be "balanced") and they could then cast either a domain spell of their choice or a cure/inflict spell as if casting it spontaneously, I'd be totally cool with it (though, why they'd convert a channel energy to a single cure spell is a question mark, unless their channel's don't only heal and that's all they want to do?) Anyways, I like you went for something else but I'm pretty sure its broken.
Arcanavore - Rewrite - Reasons to use adamantine: To overcome hardness, DR, or otherwise make item indestructible. Your item has a sunder ability, so it makes sense, for once. Items written with infinite seeming uses are always frowned on. Ok ok... here we go. I'd have this have just been a +1 bardiche or other weapon that gets a natural bonus to sunder, not AGAINST sunder like the bardiche does. I'd jack up that sunder ability, at least and/or especially against magical items. Then I'd say that it ONLY gets the +1 bonus when it sunders an item (giving it at least the broken condition?). Now have that +1 last for like 1 minute per like 1,000 gp of the item sundered, and let it stack if you can sunder a bunch of stuff (but maybe have that scale too, so +1 is 1,000 gp, +2 is 5,000 gp, +3 is 10,000 gp, etc. or use price of magic weapons? armor?) Anyways, I am saying I like the kernel of the idea, but not your actual mechanics.
Impenetrable Pelt - Publishable, but see notes - So in the Call to Arms line, I always try into include a Mythic item, and I often try to base said mythic item off an item that is from real world myth/legend. I can't not see this as the pelt of the Nemean lion that Hercacles is famous for having killed while grappling, because its pelt on it and on the Herc was "impenetrable". IF you didn't know this legend and base it off that, I'm sad. If you did, then you should have had the fur golden like the lion's. SO I'd have been overjoyed to see this as a mythic item in a Call to Arms book, with some of its other powers turned into being mythic based. As it is.. it feels like one of the oldest magic items in existence getting a solid write up. Anyways, still not SUPERSTAR. Price is a problem too. I'd have done this item differently but its a neat way to do it...
Covenskein Net - Rewrite - Almost missed this one. Anyways: A net, neat. Hair net, less neat - kinda gross. Anyways, hags are gross, so it fits. I agree with all the comments from the judges... and would sum it up saying "neat idea, fits a theme, nasty to deploy on a party, but I'd expect them to sell it as an oddity as soon as they could and it's mechanics need a bunch of fixing.
Brother's Guard - Filler - Do we have world-neutral rules for "dwarven steel" anywhere? just curious. So this is a "dwarf thing"... anyways. I personally am all about shields granting cover, and almost wish THAT was what they did rather than have a "shield bonus" to AC.. maybe that should be for taking feats. Anyways, that's neither here nor their. Your basic concept is ok, but its not super original. This is the shield of the phalanx or something. That said, its ok, but there are mechanical question marks and it costs like nothing so that's an issue too.
Molten Belcher - Filler - Belching... yum. Anyways, I like a name called "firespitter" so I shouldn't judge. Regardless... "first 25 points of that damage" --- which damage? I know you mean the fire, but bad wording. Point being, this is a poorly written version of a item I've seen a few times that of "shield that collects energy damage then sends back out" -- it's not the most original, and this isn't the best write up for such an item. It's not terrible, but its limited in its usefulness and so forth.
End of Page 11 Critques
Page 12 of Official Critique Thread
Serpent's Tongue - Filler - Unoriginal name, but not a bad one. Evocative imagery in its creation. Why mithral? to make it silver-like? Though it's another dagger... and a poisoning dagger at that. Well then... This is a thing done MANY TIMES. Your version is ok, but it's filler. Both because its unoriginal in that sense, but also because it's fairly bland, and I'd most likely use it in the villain's hands, though PCs would be happy to get it. Its better than some "poison daggers" but its still just another poison dagger.
Ring of the Medic - Publishable - Personal note, I WISH that Heal could naturally do something for most of these effects, using DCs almost exactly what you have set. I'd need to look closer at where you rank various conditions, question other little bits, etc. but I like this -- a lot. Price may or may not be an issue, I'm unsure. The fact that you have to make a skill check I think helps to keep it low. Also, that Check goes up (why by +3? seems an odd amount, +2 would have been my suggestion, +4 isn't bad, +5 would be fine too). Anyways, I really like this item, and I would get one if I played a healer in the party. I'm curious to see Mark's response to it (wasn't on this page).
Manticore Fist - Filler - "Gauntlet that fire off its studs" I've seen in enough TV and movies and read about in enough books, it's not a core idea that is super original. That said, I like your take on it enough, and I like that you tied it to the Manticore which has a spike launching ability. I am unsure why its all adamantine though? And getting to fire spikeslike that are powerful. They last way too long too I'd say, 1 hr is long, even to use as mountain climbing aids, etc. And then I wish you hadn't included the cone effect. I like it before it got complicated.
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My shorthand when talking about the dynamic staff probably should have been explained a bit more clearly.
I'll make a few other comments, not to keep harping on the topic, but because some things warrant discussion :)
But your next point I suppose is exactly why I was keeping the Caster Level artificially low --- by making the Staff HAVE to have a CL 17, it meant EVERY spell cast from it could default to that. I WANTED it to be more likely that the user would rely on their own CL, instead so I was keeping it low.
At this point what I should have done was give up the design[/b] because to make what I wanted was basically too broken. I see that now.
Yeah... I personally think the idea has merit, but it just has some compatibility issues with Pathfinder RAW =/
First up, I'm unsure what "It isn't a staff with CL13 and three spells whose level/charges = 1. [...] specifically "What do you mean by "=1", 1 what?
I was referring to the cost equation of a staff: Spell Level x Caster Level x 400/300/200 ÷ Number of charges it uses.
With the dynamic staff the number of charges used always equals the spell level, thus spell level divided by charges always equals 1, and the equation is simplified to: Caster level x 1 x 400/300/200.
My commentary that followed was that the dynamic staff could not be fairly priced as a staff with three spells on it, because it is obviously vastly superior to a CL17 staff which has for 1 charge each: cure light wounds, shield of faith and bless. The pricing you were using was that of a staff with fixed spells, when the dynamic staff, by design, is not.
It's also not a staff with wish & limited wish, because that would a) massively inflate the cost (by 149,603gp), and b) mean that any use of the staff would cost 7 or 9 charges and allow it to emulate any spell below 8th level (or 7th for divine spells), which is not how it functions.
So clearly, we need to think outside the box a little if we want to put a price on that is fair.
I'm confused by your shorthand again in your second pricing, or rather, the rule you enact. You mention "5/day = same cost as at-will" but I'm not sure where that is coming from? Is it a reworking of the math from the "Special" rule concerning Charges per Day listing on the Estimating Cost Table? Because that doesn't = to "at will" per say.
If you look at other items (e.g. intelligent item abilities, or things such as flame tongue) that can cast spells a number of times per day (generally referred to as Spell in a Can items), there is an equation to work out cost, and it goes like this:
- Spell Level x Caster Level x 2000 x (Uses per day ÷ 5)
- Or if the spell is cast at-will: Spell Level x Caster Level x 2000
So as far as pricing SiaC items is concerned, at-will (aka unlimited) is roughly equivalent to 5/day.
Looking back at the costing of staves: The more spells it has, the more it costs. Whether it has enough charges to actually cast them all in one go is irrelevant: More spells means versatility, and thus more cost. The dynamic staff can contain any three spells, and they can be changed at a rate of 1 per day, and it doesn't get much more versatile than this.
In an effort to put a price on the dynamic staff that is fair, taking into consideration how staves work and what it does, I took a leaf from the SiaC pricing (5 = unlimited) to suggest that each "any spell" slot should be priced as roughly equivalent to 5 spells. And for a CL17 staff, that puts it at 112,200gp, as follows (using the simplified equation from earlier):
- CL17 x 1 x 800 = 13,600
- CL17 x 1 x 600 = 10,200
- Cl17 x 1 x 400 = 6,800 x 13 (fifteen spells total)
By the time characters hit 11th level or so, the CL17 really isn't going to be that big a deal, given the boost would only really give benefit on level 4+ spells, which they could pull off at most two before depleting the staff (given recharge occurs only as spells are refreshed). But this ties into my commentary on pricing; 100K or so feels more appropriate to me than 20-30K.
For example: most games I've run or played in are with groups with very high levels of system mastery, and the games always made heavy use of skills, and I can recall only one character I've seen that had an Int of under 10 since the release of 3rd edition (and it was an ogre using Savage Species rules for racial hit dice as levels). Int 14 has actually been the norm for... well... almost anything that isn't Int based. I've yet to see any Pathfinder character (from my groups) put their favored-class bonus into anything but skill points either. Because skill points.
So in my experience, even a human fighter normally has 4 to 6 skill points a level, and putting 1 into UMD is really not an issue, and wands typically start being useful as pre-combat buffs around 5th level, as they don't need to always succeed if initiative hasn't been rolled as they can simply try again until they do.
But again: "Experience may vary (dramatically) from the above on your table".
Obviously, a fighter who dumps Int and takes hp with his favored class bonus is not going to have the skill points to spend on using and abusing UMD, but that is a character design choice. I tend to approach any spell trigger or completion item with "And what would the 'bardbarian' do with this?" when I'm considering them.
Thanks for your patience and your willingness to share your creative process. The RPGSS is a fantastic learning experience, and I know I've taken a lot away from it already, and look forward to future competitions.
When I put together motherly love I made two mistakes:
- I didn't do my research. Had I stopped to review past submissions and comments, I would have very quickly discovered that my love of drawbacks is not shared by the community, and myself and my gaming group are perhaps a little more resilient to 'creepy'.
- I priced it like a GM/Player, not a designer. I assumed that someone with a bow will be using the bow to fight at range and being damaged will not occur that often. But if an item rewards a certain kind of behavior, you have to assume that that behavior will occur more often as the player will try to get the benefit more. It's why a fey bane weapon costs as much as any other bane: Because more combat with fey will occur if the players have it.
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Page 10 of Official Critique Thread
Quill of the Peacock Spirit - Rewrite - I had no idea what a "totem spear" was and I needed to go find it on d20pfsrd.com and it looks like it comes from a Pathfinder #10??? And in many ways its just a long ramble and jumble beyond that. You mix ki and bardic performances and ancient Peacock Spirit cults and Pathfinder Society scholars and... in the end I see this as being like "once upon a time this was THE signature weapon of the monks dedicated to the Peacock Spirits, and they had a weird way to make music with it that DID STUFF!" which is "neat" but not "Superstar!" because I, whom is only somewhat familiar with Golarion, have no clue what you're talking about. And in 300 words, you'd never be able to convey it. It has a cool name and provokes some interesting ideas, but it should be the treasure at the end of an adventure, or like, the relic that must be recovered, etc. It's not actually a "usable" item per se, and so it falls for me this round to being Filler. Next year, I might make a new category if I do this like "Plot Device" or...
Thank you Lucus...I appreciate your candor.
BTW: The Totem Spear is officially in the Pathfinder book, Varisia: Birthplace of Legends.
Thanks for your patience and your willingness to share your creative process. The RPGSS is a fantastic learning experience, and I know I've taken a lot away from it already, and look forward to future competitions.
Thank you for detailed analysis, it was very helpful and like I said, because of it, I was able to finally really see where my core design was going to be flawed due to RAW and I either would have needed to come up with something REALLY different/better, or taken a rather different route.
I'd say the 100k gp price you came up with is fair for what all I was going for, and while expensive, not insanely so, and it might have fared better in the round (but I think you showed how it never would have managed Top 32, not with what did make it this year, etc.)
I only specifically quoted you on that one little bit you wrote because I wanted to highlight it -- it sums up my feelings on this whole thing very well too. Thank you Paizo for putting it on year after year!
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The Vengeful Scribe's Penknife, which I did after getting critiques here on the boards. Feedback always welcome!
Written as if I didn't know about your original Pen
The Vengeful Scribe's Penknife -- Filler --- Another dagger! A whole lot of those this year, but I understand why, it's got a great design space. Could do a lot of books on daggers. Anyways, this is a fairly expensive dagger, but I see why --- a dagger that counts as a greatsword! I wonder how abusable this would be for say rogues and sneak attack? I might have not bothered with keen especially if it dropped the price (and too, I'd be curious --- would Improved Critical count this thing as a dagger or a greatsword for that effect? I know they don't stack, I meant "in lieu of") Ignoring fortification I've NEVER heard of personally, though a precedent may exist. By virtue of being a +5 weapon, it already ignores every DR I know of save "X/-" which is also something that shouldn't be messed with. Rather than keen, I'd have made it count as having been made of adamantine, that helps ignore stuff too like DR. The critical focus stuff is tagged on and should jack up price more. I think the name and use is a joke on the "pen is mightier" and it may have been more interesting as a pen. Just realized too, you made it Small size... that's just extra mean :P Could have just been a dart needle at this point or scalpel.
Comment with Knowledge.
I liked it more as a pen... but that's in part because I know the big ol' quills that pens were made of and have used one for calligraphy, etc. I could stab a person and hurt them with it, though it might break the pen... hence the need for an adamantine tip! or something. That said, you kind of OVER did it on what it becomes. I think a +5 keen greatsword would be up there for "most useful weapons" in terms of damage...
Thanks again for taking the time to review and critique! I was hoping it wouldn't be overpowered in the wrong hands, due to that Knowledge check - rogues only have local and dungeoneering as class Knowledge skills, neither of which, I think, would be widely useful when encountering enemies to learn of their weaknesses. Remember that check also varies with the creature's CR and rarity, so it'll generally be higher for tougher CRs and unique creatures.
My biggest concern for abuse would be in the hands of a barbarian or ranger, with their nature knowledge; that's a pretty broad category of monsters that it covers. But can you see the barb full-attacking with a penknife? In that case, yes, I can see how it is a joke item! A twf ranger in his off-hand, however...
Also, a failed check is a wasted attempt. If I wasn't clear enough, that means you lose one attempt; you miss your first shot, you only have four left for the day. So low-Knowledge types - those with few Knowledge skills and few ranks in them - will likely get less use out of the penknife than, say, a bard.
I'd say - at the risk of it being yet more overpowered! - that it would count as either a dagger or greatsword for purposes of feats such as Improved Critical (were it not keen already) or Weapon Finesse, etc. That just seems appropriate.
The bit about damage reduction and fortification: I don't mind setting a precedent, if its appropriate and measured. I thought and hoped this would be, limited as it is by the Knowledge check and times per day; but maybe not. Also, the idea was for the penknife to be, for those circumstances, the best possible weapon you could have against your foe - yes, "knowledge is power" is definitely something I was going for here.
And I was also going for the "pen is mightier than the sword" - that was a primary inspiration. So I, too, liked it better as a pen! But my rewrite was to hopefully make it more kosher for the contest, and not be so easily labelled as a wondrous item. Trying to keep with the theme of bards and scribes, without limiting it in game terms to only one class, I chose to make it a penknife, a Small dagger, that most anyone could use. (I learned as part of my research that a penknife is so called because it was used to sharpen the quills, the pens, that a writer uses.)
OK, I think that's all I've got. Thanks again for the review and feedback, Lucus. I appreciate it.
Cheers,
Phil
In case you're not following Phloid's great rewrite thread:
Dynamic Staff
Dynamic Staff (Phloid Edit)
Metastaff
Aura moderate varies; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 62,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
The surface of this smooth oaken staff is branded with arcane sigils that betray the spells currently stored inside and are magically changed when a spell is replaced. When a metastaff is found it contains three spells of sixth level or lower from a single class's spell list. The spells contained within can be determined with a minute of observation and a DC 20 Knowledge (arcana) without need for detect magic.
Unlike most staves, a metastaff can hold up to three spells of 6th level or lower that can be changed by the owner. Adding or changing a spell inside the staff can be done in lieu of recharging a staff when the owner prepares spells or regains spell slots and counts as the spellcaster's staff imbuing for the day. If the staff already contains three spells, one is chosen to be replaced. The spell to be added must be one the owner can prepare or cast spontaneously, and he must forgo one prepared spell or spell slot of a level equal to the spell being added. Metamagic feats may be used to augment a spell added to the staff. This increases the caster level of the spell imbued and the spell or spell slot sacrificed to place the spell as per the individual metamagic feat, but cannot increase the spell level above the 6th level maximum. The staff can be recharged as a normal staff instead of changing a spell.• 0 or 1st level spell (1 charge)
• 2nd or 3rd level spell (2 charges)
• 4th or 5th level spell (3 charges)
• 6th level spell (4 charges)Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, any two metamagic feats, mnemonic enhancer or imbue with spell ability; Cost 31,000 gp
Thanks for the rewrite!
I was hoping it wouldn't be overpowered in the wrong hands, due to that Knowledge check - rogues only have local and dungeoneering as class Knowledge skills, neither of which, I think, would be widely useful when encountering enemies to learn of their weaknesses. Remember that check also varies with the creature's CR and rarity, so it'll generally be higher for tougher CRs and unique creatures.
My biggest concern for abuse would be in the hands of a barbarian or ranger, with their nature knowledge; that's a pretty broad category of monsters that it covers. But can you see the barb full-attacking with a penknife? In that case, yes, I can see how it is a joke item! A twf ranger in his off-hand, however...
I think, and I may be wrong here, but when trying to use Knowledge to know vulnerabilities of a humanoid, it IS Knowledge (local), and then Knowledge (dungeoneering) is for aberrants and oozes right? Also, the thief has the skill points to burn to dump into other skills, but regardless, I'd be most worried about them getting the upper hand (also, your Knowledge check doesn't say they need to find any specific kind of weakness, just succeed at the required check. This might even be a way to get a really good hit on say an ooze, which normally isn't subject to much extra damage -- though I'd have to spend time to figure out if that would matter, etc.)
Otherwise, yeah I agree with most of your follow up commentary.
More than anything, I'd like to commend you for taking people's feedback and creating a "better" item, and seeing as you were still trying to bind yourself to the RPG Superstar crowd, it makes sense why you made some of the design choices you did.
Good Job!
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Thanks so much for the in-depth critique of Mummer's Slapstick, Lucus. It made me think about the item (and item design in general) in terms I hadn't before. Your comments will definitely influence my design decisions going forward!
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I was hoping it wouldn't be overpowered in the wrong hands, due to that Knowledge check - rogues only have local and dungeoneering as class Knowledge skills, neither of which, I think, would be widely useful when encountering enemies to learn of their weaknesses. Remember that check also varies with the creature's CR and rarity, so it'll generally be higher for tougher CRs and unique creatures.
My biggest concern for abuse would be in the hands of a barbarian or ranger, with their nature knowledge; that's a pretty broad category of monsters that it covers. But can you see the barb full-attacking with a penknife? In that case, yes, I can see how it is a joke item! A twf ranger in his off-hand, however...
I think, and I may be wrong here, but when trying to use Knowledge to know vulnerabilities of a humanoid, it IS Knowledge (local), and then Knowledge (dungeoneering) is for aberrants and oozes right? Also, the thief has the skill points to burn to dump into other skills, but regardless, I'd be most worried about them getting the upper hand (also, your Knowledge check doesn't say they need to find any specific kind of weakness, just succeed at the required check. This might even be a way to get a really good hit on say an ooze, which normally isn't subject to much extra damage -- though I'd have to spend time to figure out if that would matter, etc.)
Otherwise, yeah I agree with most of your follow up commentary.
More than anything, I'd like to commend you for taking people's feedback and creating a "better" item, and seeing as you were still trying to bind yourself to the RPG Superstar crowd, it makes sense why you made some of the design choices you did.
Good Job!
Thank you!
That's true about Knowledge (local); but Knowledge (nature) covers monstrous humanoids, as well as animals, fey, plants and vermin, so that was a larger area of concern for me. Not that a rogue with the penknife couldn't have elves, dwarves, humans, etc., as enemies, but perhaps those would be less frequently a combat challenge to the character than a roleplaying one.
As for the ooze situation, that's partially the point of the whole thing. Not oozes per se, but the idea that with knowledge you get that power to most successfully hurt your foe. Could be a Balor, could be an ooze, could be a construct, could be your rival bard and critic who is always trashing your plays in the press. That, to me, was part of the magic of the item; it just worked that way, within the rest of the game mechanics. Everything that *could* get hurt by a weapon could get hurt - badly - if the magic is right, you make that check, and learn - whatever it is that you learn - about your enemy. Then, boom! the thing does its work.
Cheers,
Phil
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Thanks so much for the in-depth critique of Mummer's Slapstick, Lucus. It made me think about the item (and item design in general) in terms I hadn't before. Your comments will definitely influence my design decisions going forward!
So if you make it to the Top 32 next year, I'm vindicated. If you get cut at the first Cull... I'm so, so, sorry :P
Sorry anyone waiting for a critique, I didn't get any posted Monday and then Tuesday/Wednesday I didn't want to post to give the Top 16 the space they deserve for making it to Round 3. Congratulations to them again as well.
Page 13 of Official Critique Thread
Spanwhammer - Filler - "W" ? Whammer? Anyways, it's an earth breaker. There is a LOT of backstory to this item. I'm not personally against backstory, and yours is well written, but it makes the item specific to an adventure, an NPC, etc. It basically moves an item toward often being filler if you spend SO MUCH time talking about it. Then looking at the other mechanics, I'd sooner you straight up admit that you just gave this thing magic item-bane and call out that ability by name. So anyways, golem-rock hammer, and it has counterspell powers... I see where it's coming from, but I'd question your mechanics. I'd sooner it just grant the wielder an SR and be done with it. OR that it get a free dispel magic effect when smashed into magical items to sunder them... applied before the damage is, so that it would make breaking them easier. Anyways, its a neat-ish idea but its filler for a Irespan-specific book or module.
Blood Magic Dagger - Filler - Reading the name I am going to assume I know 90% of this item from its name. If it doesn't wow me, it's filler. "vicious" is a magical weapon property, so only use it if you mean that. "Hurt myself to X" is a neat theatric effect, but it rarely seems to win over the voters. I like it, and I dig it, but people usually point out a dozen little problems with it. Getting to apply ANY metamagic feat is powerful, even if you just gave yourself a bleed effect, and the 2d6 damage makes me wish you DID make this a vicious weapon, and it just did its damage + the vicious damage... that would feel "cleaner" than your mechanic. Also, I'd like to see it as Xd6 damage, where X = the adjustment to spell level, minimum 2d6 or something. And I think personally I'd have made it have to be an arcane bonded object, but I can see how that would make it very class-specific. Maybe it deals less damage then... or its all Non-lethal?
Stormcrow Tomahawk - Publishable - I read your comments about the item, and I'd say I'd have culled you as muddled filler. I don't know the blood crow strike spell in your design, but this basically sounds like a fairly standard item ("magical throwing axe with stuff") that replicates the warrior's axe thing from the old Gauntlet game. You also are totally lacking clear mechanics for the "crackling electric crow" other than to basically say its like throwing the weapon. IF I should resolve those attacks exactly the same, which isn't a terrible idea, than that a) needs to be clearer and b) makes me wonder why this doesn't just have returning or something and I abuse that mechanic? I kind of like the idea that I could replace any of my attacks with a electric crow over-distance a la the Gauntlet game, but I don't think its right for this competition. I'd clear up your mechanics though and publish it in my Call to Arms: Axes and Picks book.
Tormentor - Rewrite - I actually liked that you went for a magic tech weapon, so kudos. That said, your actual item is odd. The Cthu-theme (I'm assuming that was the aesthetic, not that you expected merpeople to have chainsaws like this under-the-sea). That said, I would have to ask what alien mind is making these things? So that being the case, I'd say what I would have done is make this item to be a purely magical construct that "used" the rules for a technological chainsaw. As it is, its like some Cthu-super-fan remade his chainsaw into a Art school project to I don't know, carve wooden cthu statues and be funny to watch in videos on YouTube. That's not a good thought to inspire in this competition. The write up itself is a little sloppy, but I'd really need to understand what you're going for with the basic idea before I could like properly critique the rest.
Staff of the Imperials - Rewrite - The name is interesting, but we'll see...and OHH Those "imperials" ok... neat... but wait? another ki staff? Is there a precedent for these that I am just unaware of? Anyways, talk to monastic staff guy and the other one too, and create a ki-quarterstaff book. And that's just it.. this isn't a "staff of the Imperials' so much as its really a "Quarterstaff of the Imperials" because this isn't a "magical staff" so much as its a weapon with abilities that sorta kinda relate to magical staves but really aren't. That being the case, this shouldn't be Craft Staff, which makes "spells in a can". I think there's a nugget of a good idea (and if three of our competitors did these types of things, I'm guessing there is an interest for more of these kinds of items) but what you got here got shot down because "Isn't really a staff" or however Mark worded it for my item.
End of Page 13 Critiques
Page 14 of Official Critique Thread
Rod of Brilliant Steps - Rewrite - I LIKE the "always clean" and you even had a solid go to... though you didn't italicize the words right. Language is overlong though (wordy), which detracts. Beyond that, it's not a bad idea, though it's not really a rod -- these are boots. These would be cool boots. Somewhat "obvious" boots but still totally useful. Price I might have pushed up a bit for it. As a rod it seems odd... a rod that for instance made a little force bridge over such obstacles would be cool, but as its all about my footsteps, these should be boots. Not a terrible mechanic as is, but whole entry could be tightened up language and mechanics wise.
Ring of the Champion - Filler - Your story implies this is a "one and only" and very few basic items are like that. That makes this pretty much automatically a plot-driven item and moves it toward filler. Delete those few words and I'd think "it better have a good reason for being Elysian Bronze"... and then it becomes fairly user specific with the Challenge ability and then the mechanics get wonky, and then, and then, and then... it all just becomes a messy text wall. Your basic idea isn't bad, but it's not really "great" either. I'd question if this kind of thing were better as a Ring or as say a shield, weapon, or armor bonus? Maybe not, maybe ring is best... but maybe it would be better to be an amulet, etc. Anyways, it's not a great write up for an ok idea.
End of Page 14 Critiques
Page 15 of Official Critique Thread
Ghostspike Longspear - Publishable - Normally suggest people shouldn't try to give too much story or "tell me who uses this" kind of stuff in an item entry BUT I really love how you slip in the Mendavian Crusaders reference in a way that tells me a power of the device while giving it flavor. THAT is a rare skill and I commend you on that. And then, while I kind of don't like "fuse" with incorporeal, what I do really like is the idea of a weapon that gives me some new options on how to fight undead. Few things like you tussle with them so I really like this. Overall this is a cool item, though its very niche.
End of Page 15 Critiques
Pages 16+ "should" be getting done later today. It's harder to track new items now that Garrett's not adding them, so sorry if I miss something in the later pages. Just tell me here and I'll comment ion it.
Page 16 of Official Critique Thread
Bodyguard Armor - Rewrite - Something about how you wrote the armor's stats out took away from the entry. They need to be there, but maybe in a (xxx) and short handed? Anyways... I don't see how darkleaf studded leather could count as jewelry, and referencing those specific outfits (with them capitalized) seems really odd. I can see what you mean, mechanically, but its ruining the tone of your item and makes it read funny. By the time we get to the fairly underwhelming actual effects, it feels like you buried the lead. The basic idea is interesting.. here's some darkleaf based, gemstone studded armor that you could get away with wearing to a fancy dress party, but then use to save someones life!
Scimitar of Dancing Lightning - Filler - This feels like a fairly expensive [EDIT: actually it's underpriced considering it give infinite ranged touch attacks] version of a standard kind of weapon ("sword of elemental power type+"). That doesn't DQ it or anything, but it means I compare this to every frost-fang, flame-sword, lighting-blade item I've seen in Pathfinder, video games, etc. We already have a way to gain haste with a weapon its called speed and in the end it doesn't add much to this field of item. Finally, I feel like you wasted a really cool name. "dancing lightning" had me interested, but seeing what it does in that regards doesn't have me dancing a foxtrot or anything. This kind of makes me think of Link from the Zelda games or those Gauntlet games again, where I could shoot out melee weapons as energy again and again, etc.
Ring of the Champion - Rewrite - This is an underwhelming ring that feels very abusable to gain a benefit that is nice but not incredible.
Soulfire Band - Rewrite - I'm just curious how many balor horns anyone could ever have harvested!?! Or do you need to make a deal with a balor to have gotten a shaving? Anyways... reading through the rest of the item, I love the idea, but it seems like it could be abusable (Feros points out how in his critique). I think it would be neat too if there were a whole range of items that did something like this, but I could see people not finding the appeal of this item because you introduce a new-ish mechanic to a game (convert collected souls into magic effect) that doesn't necessarily sit well with everyone. I think if it had some better built in limits, it could be really cool though. I also agree with Raynulfs general analysis. If I saw this as an artifact entry, I'd be down for it totally, with just minor tweaks but that's not what we were supposed to create.
Ring of Retrospecition - ??? - To the best of my knowledge, not even artifacts give free XP, with even the deck of many things requiring you to kill a new monster (they specify monster so it can't just be find a bunny rabbit) and then you have to do it all alone. Getting double XP from an encounter... this kind of item is common place in video games, especially those with 100+ levels to gain, and you're playing by yourself, but in Pathfinder its unlikely to go over well. I almost put reject for this item but I had been saving that for a totally different kind of item. I can't see how to rewrite this to make sense in Pathfinder so I'm just leaving it ???
End of Page 16 Critiques
Thanks for the feedback. I have learned a lot about my item submission. But I have to say:
And even then, turtles don't rebound attacks, do they?)You clearly did not watch the same cartoons as I did growing up :P
LOL TMNT-reference and I totally missed it? 12 year old me is going to cry in the corner while he reads his original copies of the graphic novel TMNT
Page 17 of Official Critique Thread
Ring of Adaptive Weaponry - Publishable - "Common" and a list like "mirthral, cold iron, and adamantine" seem in opposition to one another. I'm going to assume you also got dinged in the round by having an item that is actually many items, made of many materials changes its power, etc. Your insertion into the Golarion world stuff is ok, but it detracts from your item. When I finally get to this item, it's really kind of generic, though neat and I'm sure Mark et. al. will point out how it was too powerful if it is. This seems like the definition of a filler item. I like it, and I would publish it, and I actually like the story aspect, though I'd question if the Society needed to get involved. Dwarves are smart, and have long memories, couldn't they have kept this secret?
Rod of Bounding Flame - Filler - Sorry to hear about the harddrive failure, that's never fun. Looking at the item, I want to compare it to the fiery nimbus rod even if it's unfair. jump isn't the spell I'd go with adding, but I see why you do. Instead, I'd suggest pyrotechnics. Not sure if fireball is needed, I'd have just gone with flaming sphere, it might have downed the power a bit of the rod, but it would be applicable (2d6 fire would have been powerful enough I'd guess). Still, its an interesting idea but with it being a mace and its effect, etc... it's kind of odd but could be a lot of fun to play with.
Campaign Staff - Filler - I saw this one during voting and thought it was neat but questioned its power. It is fairly expensive, and I like that you went for a slightly different angle for the added powers, and the description is neat of the staff. That said, I believe it fills a nitch that is unsatisfied from other things. I can see why it didn't work out with voters, because its just a long-listed SiaC, with 3 extra spells (summon earth elemental at 3 levels). That's it.
Ancestor's Breastplate - Filler - I don't know Phrarasma well, but would she be cool with someone binding a spirit to an item? Just curious. But so, the point of this item is to give you temporarily the benefits of being a better warrior, right? I'm not against that idea, I'd be curious to see it played out, but it also seems underwhelming.
Shield of the Eye - Filler - No one makes tower shields, nice! So, this makes you a good ghost hunter, and gives you a class ability (channel energy). The voters rarely like that aspect. I like the lich-finding thing, that's kind of neat, but also seems unlikely to come into use almost ever.
End of Page 17 Critiques
Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
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Knife of the Consummate Chef - Rewrite, but could have been Publishable for Idea - I actually like your item, or rather your idea. If you'd done the research you talked about, but stuck to making this item, I think you could have gotten something interesting. Comments beyond that are "why ever should/would you make this out of adamantine? Isn't that stuff rare and expensive!" And then I'd talk about how, while kind of neat to reward players for having ranks in something like Profession (chef) or Craft (cooking), etc. it's not a clear mechanic itself which works against you, especially since I know of no specific examples. Also, items, sadly, aren't maid to "level" much in this game... for some reason, so that kind of rubs against the grain of "traditional" design.
First off, thank you for your frank assessment. I agree with everything that you've said. There was something in my head that wanted to reward people for mastery, and I tied that in somewhat with the mechanic of the Skill Focus feat which had a specific bonus at 10 ranks (though I expanded on that idea somewhat). My item is not a feat, but I treated it like one.
The adamantine is admittedly a thematic choice with not much behind it. Adadmantine would presumably keep its edge for longer, but then neither would a magic item, so it's redundant.
Sadly, I think I've erased the drawing board and considered this to be a non-weaponable creation. It'd be better as an apron or other wondrous magic item, perhaps, and with a different eye to mechanics. Next year, with some luck and hard work, I'll have something more presentable.
Page 18 of Official Critique Thread
Catapulting Full Plate - Rewrite - Hahahaha.... man... Kamikaze-armor. Ok, so with a little running start I can hurtle myself as if I were a catapult shot across a battlefield to deal damage? Sweet. For how much I'm paying for the armor though, I'd prefer if I were encased in any number of force effects which would completely protect me, even from this kind of effect. For half as much overall price, I'd be willing to deal with the "you can die as a stone" bit.
Staff of the Beast Within - Rewrite - I like the theme, though a "staff" seems odd for it, and I am uncertain how many barbarians would have the Use Magic Device needed to use this thing, where as if it were armor or a ring even with related abilities, it would make more sense to me. That said, 10 rounds of my rage in a day seems like a lot, but I can see the mechanics at work. I like that you went for that, but I'm uncertain it's the best choice. I guess I'd sooner give up a number of rounds of rage to cast these spells via an alternate item? Does that make more sense? Mind you, as a staff, anyone could still use it, but I see where there is a strong preference toward the ragers. I think Feros and Mark's combined comments show how to improve this staff well.
Scales of the Scarab - Rewrite - I don't wear magical armor "incase I die" -- I wear it to prevent dying. This armor is basically instant "worm-that-walks" except you're scarbs? Anyways, I like the idea of scale armor (if its made from scarab beetles, you could change its material and allow druids to wear it, which yes I've made fun of in other posts but its fitting here ok). Regardless, I'd rather be able to take the form of a swarm at will or like x/day and tear stuff up a swarm. That being the main power though of the item, it would still be filler- "armor that makes me become something else"
Staff of Duergar Enslavement - Rewrite - So, I generally like your spell list and I think it's correct to your theme of "duergar enslaving people". It kind of makes the item more likely to be the villain's weapon of choice and that kind of moves it toward plot-device/filler but then there's your main power. First up, it should be baleful polymorph I suspect, or a similar "attack" spell as you need to be willing to be polymorphed. That spell isn't really right either, but regardless of spell choice... it's odd. I think Id rather you just stuck to spells and ability that enslaved the mind, rather than converted the person to a different race. That is a bizarre ability that should be reserved for cursed items and artifacts I would argue. How about for a charge you can apply a "collar" to a person and they take a penalty on Will saves to resist spells cast from the staff or something?
End of Page 18 Critiques
One page to go (I think)!
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Knife of the Consummate Chef - Rewrite - XXXFirst off, thank you for your frank assessment. I agree with everything that you've said. There was something in my head that wanted to reward people for mastery, and I tied that in somewhat with the mechanic of the Skill Focus feat which had a specific bonus at 10 ranks (though I expanded on that idea somewhat). My item is not a feat, but I treated it like one.
The adamantine is admittedly a thematic choice with not much behind it. Adadmantine would presumably keep its edge for longer, but then neither would a magic item, so it's redundant.
Sadly, I think I've erased the drawing board and considered this to be a non-weaponable creation. It'd be better as an apron or other wondrous magic item, perhaps, and with a different eye to mechanics. Next year, with some luck and hard work, I'll have something more presentable.
I liked the item and I look forward to seeing what you create next year (hopefully my comments will be while you're in the Top 32 :D)
Actually, looks like I got them all that I could find.
If I missed your item or you have a question/comment about my critique, I will try to check here every once and awhile, but PM and I am even more likely to get it and respond.
Good Luck Top 16!
Luke P
<Top 32, I'll add brief comments to each of yours in your own threads>
'bout time rook :P
'bout time rook :P
I've been too busy managing all my freelancers :P But yeah, I respect what you've done these past few years a lot more now!
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I've been too busy managing all my freelancers :P But yeah, I respect what you've done these past few years a lot more now!
I can relate... but I approach running a 3PP like running a commune. We attack everything as a group, googles docs is my jam for that.