Funny S#$& My Kid Says


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We were far, far darker.

"Small creatures such as chipmunks, mice, and birds have too small of a meat-to-waste ratio. It's too much work to prepare them compared to the amount of meat they have. Very similar to small children..."
(slowly looks child up and down)
"...now once YOU'VE grown another inch or two..."

EDIT: And yes, in one of our best parenting moments of all time, we were called in by the school psychiatrist because our son had written a story about a picture the psychiatrist had given him. It was a side-splitting tongue-in-cheek take on the apocalypse, finishing with, "There were no survivors on that sad, sad day."
We (correctly) pointed out that the psychiatrist had handed him a picture of a massive catastrophe that was devastating a city and asked him to write about it, so what did she expect? The principal got called in, saw the picture and the story and started laughing out loud, then sided with us.

If you don't want gruesome stories, don't hand the kids gruesome pictures. I mean, sheesh.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
NobodysHome wrote:

We were far, far darker.

"Small creatures such as chipmunks, mice, and birds have too small of a meat-to-waste ratio. It's too much work to prepare them compared to the amount of meat they have. Very similar to small children..."
(slowly looks child up and down)
"...now once YOU'VE grown another inch or two..."

Which Imp was that?

...

Wait... If that was Major, then his slow growth could be a defense mechanism...

Quote:

EDIT: And yes, in one of our best parenting moments of all time, we were called in by the school psychiatrist because our son had written a story about a picture the psychiatrist had given him. It was a side-splitting tongue-in-cheek take on the apocalypse, finishing with, "There were no survivors on that sad, sad day."

We (correctly) pointed out that the psychiatrist had handed him a picture of a massive catastrophe that was devastating a city and asked him to write about it, so what did she expect? The principal got called in, saw the picture and the story and started laughing out loud, then sided with us.

If you don't want gruesome stories, don't hand the kids gruesome pictures. I mean, sheesh.

Which Imp was that? (I am pretty sure you told that story before but I don't remember if you stated which one was the hero of it)


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Drejk wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

We were far, far darker.

"Small creatures such as chipmunks, mice, and birds have too small of a meat-to-waste ratio. It's too much work to prepare them compared to the amount of meat they have. Very similar to small children..."
(slowly looks child up and down)
"...now once YOU'VE grown another inch or two..."

Which Imp was that?

...

Wait... If that was Major, then his slow growth could be a defense mechanism...

Quote:

EDIT: And yes, in one of our best parenting moments of all time, we were called in by the school psychiatrist because our son had written a story about a picture the psychiatrist had given him. It was a side-splitting tongue-in-cheek take on the apocalypse, finishing with, "There were no survivors on that sad, sad day."

We (correctly) pointed out that the psychiatrist had handed him a picture of a massive catastrophe that was devastating a city and asked him to write about it, so what did she expect? The principal got called in, saw the picture and the story and started laughing out loud, then sided with us.

If you don't want gruesome stories, don't hand the kids gruesome pictures. I mean, sheesh.

Which Imp was that? (I am pretty sure you told that story before but I don't remember if you stated which one was the hero of it)

It's ALL Impus Major. Being the first, he was subjected to the worst...

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