Dungeon Advice


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Warning: Here there be adult themes.

So I'm constructing a dungeon for my party of third-level characters, and I'm drawing a bit of a writer's block on encounters to populate it with. Any advice would be most appreciated.

Background: Homebrew comedy/horror/fantasy setting. High magic, think "magic returned to the modern world causing a massive catastrophe, all manner of legends and monsters returned to the earth wiping out a majority of the human population, this is 4000 years after that happened." The party is currently adventuring through a wintry fey-filled forest, being pursued by a horrible "ice witch" who wants a magic box they possess. She confronts them on a bridge over a frozen river, and collapses the bridge. The party plunges down through the water, but a piece of the bridge smashes through the roof of an underground structure that they then find themselves in (while another piece of the bridge seals off the ceiling.)

The structure they find themselves in is an ancient sex-toy factory.

So obviously I'm looking for potentially comedic, "adult industry"-esque encounters based around the theme of the environment. Nothing too bracingly vulgar, more along the lines of suggestive and irreverent. For instance, I definitely want to include an encounter with 1-2 Security Mannequins ( http://www.d20pfsrd.com/bestiary/monster-listings/constructs/robot/security -mannequin ) who upon entering combat remove their gloves and have large, uh, floppy clubs instead of hands.

Encounters need to be in the 2-4 CR range. Any suggestions?

I guess this post was too hard (pun intended.)

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Have a succubi there as a boss who wants to make flesh golem out of certain body parts that become hard. Make them fight against incomplete version, make it come (pun intended) early so they know what they are going to fight against. Obviously after defeating such golem they will be wet.
Also many custom constructs, animated objects (hole filling rod that searches for holes to fill - if it manages to enter a living hole the victim throws DC X Fortitude save not to become butthurt. Butthurt condition: -2 on all d20 rolls).
Animated room that grapples those who enter.
Drop some custom weapons - Club with vibrating property (3 times per day user may activate vibrating property - creatures whose dr is bypassed by Bludgeoing weapon takes extra 2d6 damage).
Leather armor of bondage (whenever user gets bleed or nonlethal damage it gains morrale bonus of +2 on next attack roll or demoralize check)
whip of binding
scroll/wand of hardness
High heel boots of dominatrix (user gains fast healing 1 when is standing on demorolized/shaken person)
Obviously some tentacle monsters and slimes, there are plenty of those to find.

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Well any "Thing" can receive the animated object spell, you could easily find some creative uses.

Perhaps some industrious evil kobolds are enamored with the old factory and various factions are squabbling over the old machines (for war weapons, making god statues, to sell for profit on the surface, etc).
They have booby trapped (literally) the factory (pile of toys released from ceiling hatch, tripwire causes two large toys to fly in from the side ala star wars 6, rough terrain floor from moving toys, a locked door with the key hidden in some other type of toys, some of which have been trapped). Different tribes could have different sections of the factory and wear gear associated with that section. (The clubbers, the small round object slingers, the "armoured" tanks, and the slippery biters). They could even be willing to help for "sacred texts (wink)" and machine operation manuals/spare parts which were locked in safes before the fall.

Perhaps an old wizard explorer (pervert) who knew the legends tracked this place down and then became trapped, s/he built a kingdom of "Devices" and fiercely protects their "realm" by attacking (throwing objects as per throw anything), then scurrying away. A lvl 3 wizard with small animal familiar (rubber armor to increase ac =p ), and summons would be good.

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Phallic handed construct mannequins (go with that!)

Encounter 1:
Three animated sex-toy swarms directed by a low-level sorcerer in a gimp suit bolstered by a 2-4 wights who are slick and glistening with lubricants of some kind. They are wearing spiked cod-pieces which they use as secondary attacks for d4 damage. The sorcerer has mage armor and shield up, and darts in to cast Touch of Idiocy when he can.

Main Encounter:
2 innocent unconscious captives with 0 HP lay on the floor, seemingly unguarded. If revived, they both claim they saw the other captive turned into a Hag and laid down next to him/her before she/he lost consciousness. Both are panicked and will not submit to tests, and will attack if a spell or potion is attempted by the PCs (who could also be Hags as far as the captives are concerned).

The truth is the hag did this to both captives and replaced the herself with a real captive after changing into the first captive. Thus, the PCs must figure out which is the hag, while neither is in fact one.

Whatever happens, a withered hag in a dominatrix get-up (exposing many wrinkly parts), will uncloak from invisibility and cut the hostages throats, laughing gleefully at her clever game. A number of skeletons wearing bedroom role-playing costumes (ass-less chaps, little bo-peep, etc) wielding large vibrating rubber clubs will rush in, led by a Skeletal Champion with a +1 cod piece (adds a stacking +1 AC to anyone brave enough to loot and wear it). The skeletons always aim at genitals. The Hag dogs around the back of the ranks casting a modified form of Murderous Command to make the PCs "attack" one another if the fail DC 15 Will save, but instead of attacking they try to render very amorous kisses on one another, which if made as successful touch attacks, act as Aid Another granting a +2 to hit or AC in favor of the enemy. The hag is armed with a camera and will take pictures of PCs kissing each other. Also, the hag, being a hag, will try to escape with her blackmail photos rather than fight to the death.

Hopefully, some PCs end up getting kissed and vow to never speak of it or seek out the hag to retrieve the embarrassing pics. Oh, such fun!

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