Get naked, of course.
Is he military? If so...
Take him to a burlesque club, take pictures, send pictures to his commanding officer. Just so he has souvenirs to remember the night.
Friends,
It seems that in these increasingly chaotic times, the average Prime mortal has increasingly fewer assurances in their short, miserable lives. Thankfully, one of those foundations remains rock-solid: family. We here at H.O.S.T. offer a meaningful and lasting solution by helping you Primes establish your own adoptive family. Please consider becoming a host family for one of our numerous poor needy larvae. Baby slaadlings grow up so fast, but they need a safe, nurturing environment to grow and strengthen during their vulnerable infancy. Now, for the amazing price of FREE, you can welcome a larvae into your homes and hearts, providing it with much-needed food and shelter and companionship.
Won't you please help them, and yourselves? If you can spare a drunken sailor as a foster parent, won't you? And since we provide the baby slaadi at no financial burden to you, won't you consider getting one for yourself as well? Perhaps a pair of larvae to keep each other company?
Please call, right now! 1-800-I-AM-HOST. Thank you.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Back when we were in middle school, one of my friends came up with the line:
What do you do with a drunken sailor, send him to Exxon to pilot a tanker!
At the time it was very topical.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hazelwood