Tunnel Fighter's Ring
Aura strong conjuration;CL 12th
Slot ring; Price 70,000 gp; Weight —
Description
This ring is crafted of two intertwining gold strands, forming a pattern so intricate that it is difficult to discern either strand’s path. By means of twining an extradimensional space and normal space, this ring allows the wearer to maneuver easily in otherwise tight quarters.
At will, the wearer can occupy the same square as another allied creature, with no penalty to either. Any attack on either creature in that square affects both creatures, and is resolved individually. These creatures do not cover or conceal one another. Only one Tunnel Fighter’s Ring wearer may occupy a square at a time, additional wearers are unable to enter the square.
The wearer also gains a +10 circumstance bonus to acrobatics checks made to avoid attacks of opportunity when moving through an opponent's square or threatened area.
A Dimensional Anchor spell cast on the wearer negates the benefits of the ring for the duration of the spell.
Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, Plane Shift; Cost 35,000 gp
Formatting and wording issues. A powerful ability, but the high price tag, and the drawback of both being hit by attacks, make it a fair item. I like how the author came up with an idea of extradimensional space overlapping with reality and brought out all the benefits and drawbacks from that (for instance, the Acrobatics bonus also flows from that source). Given the edge of reality extradimensional space aspect of the ring, what could have really turned it into a rockstar item would be changing the boring name to tindalos ring and then using the spare words to add in something akin to angled entry or other hound of tindalos powers!
Regardless, I'm giving this ring a Weak Keep, so that's enough to be an alternate this year.
Hi there! I'll be one of the judges for this round, and I'll be looking at a couple of key points for your item: flavor, usability, and how the item is presented. For some background, I helped found the Wayfinder fanzine before I started working for Paizo, and I oversee every third-party Pathfinder Roleplaying Game product that makes its way onto Paizo.com.
Flavor
I like the name (though it does share it with a trait).
Usability
Opponents are going to be rolling a lot of extra dice for a simple attack, which doesn't immediately appeal to me.
Presentation
Spells in the text aren't italicized, spell names capitalized, skill name not capitalized, item name capitalized and not italicized. No penalties to *either* creature for sharing the same space?
Final Thoughts
A neat idea, but I don't think the mechanics are fleshed out enough to recommend it. I do not recommend this item for advancement.
Modules Overlord
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My approach to judging these items is "How would I approach this as a developer?" If I would be pleased by the turnover and not see any reason to give negative feedback to the writer, that's great! If I'd keep it but it would take a lot of work or I'd want to let the writer know what needed improvement, that's fine but not perfect. If I'd scrap the item because it would be faster to write new material myself, that's bad.
Mechanically this works, by virtue of claiming an extra dimensional spaces solves all the possible problems of having two characters in one square. That's okay, but it's dull. With more than 100 words to spare, the writer had room to come up with some interesting quirk that, in my opinion, would make this more interesting. Perhaps the wearer becomes 2-dimensional, and can only threaten half as many spaces when sharing a space with an ally. Perhaps something like blink could be brought in. As it is this work, but just isn't inspiring enough for me to want to keep it. It's a reject for me, but a very weak reject, with the note that if a project had a lot of spare time, I might send it back to the writer to make more interesting.
Thanks, everyone. I'm very happy to have been selected as an alternate!
I realized (and regretted!) most of the formatting errors during the voting period, and I appreciate the suggestions on how to punch it up to Superstar level. I considered a blur-like effect, but felt that made it too complicated. The idea of threatening half as many spaces is intriguing, to comment on one of several suggestions.
I worried most about the pricing, to be honest. I more or less abandoned the formula and went more on comparison to existing rings. I'm especially interested in thoughts on how that worked out.
Thanks again for selecting this as an alternate!
I like the balance this item found. Its abilities are powerful but the item is expensive and has drawbacks; I also like that the creator thought about how its abilities could be negated and what side benefits its abilities could provide.
Congratulations on making it to the Top 36!
I only saw this item once in all of my voting, but it immediately made it to my keep list. I like this ability a lot. It would be a powerful ability in the early levels, and remains so for the later game, but the price tag keeps it from becoming a problem. I think the price is perhaps a bit on the high side, but not needlessly so. I also really like that, while this is a ring for the melee characters, it can be useful no matter who wears it. Obviously some classes will get more out of it, but it doesn't shut anyone out either.
Not sure if it's necessary to deny two rings from fitting into one square - this isn't so powerful that a party is likely to craft more than one if they ever craft any at all with that price - but it doesn't ruin the item either.
All in all a great item and I'm disappointed that you didn't make it to the Top 32. Still, the best of luck for the future.
First of all, congrats R D.
As for your item, I don't think I remember seeing it at all in voting. It's a neat idea and would definitely be popular in situations where you're in very close quarters and may not have enough room to have two characters standing side-by-side to fight.
That said, I also feel like that situation doesn't come up that often; I know there are sometimes I'll do a design like that, but mostly I figure it means one person is fighting while everyone else at the table is stuck waiting, which seems like bad design. Truthfully, because of that, I think the pricing is probably too much. This seems like a ring I'd keep in a pocket for the rare times I need it, but at this price, if I found one, I think I'd sell it in a New Stetven minute.
I'm sure it's frustrating being so close to the Top 32, but knowing you have to hope someone else messes up or doesn't submit. Buckle down and focus on making the best map you can, though, and best of luck!
Congrats! I only made Dedicated, so your item was one of the items I didn't get to vote on.
I like your item, especially the logical and non-negligible drawbacks. I like what it does, but as a player, I'm afraid my PC would probably sell it to get/upgrade a better (and more generic) offensive or defensive item.
Don't be discouraged by being "only" an Alternate... being in the Top 36 is something to wear proudly. So buckle down, get the sugar and caffeine on a drip feed, and do your best for Round 2! Good luck. :)
This is one of the good one that I usually voted for. The ability is a wonderful, creative, idea. Like some of the other commenters, I wonder whether this would see much use in actual play, however.
Congratulations!
Congratulations on being an Alternate! Well done!
I liked this ring, but found it to be lacking anything really special. In some ways it's a meta-game item that allows PCs to fight in the same space on the board grid. I think it needed a better visual image and mechanics to put it solidly over the top.
Congratulations, R D! Very creative and useful idea at work here, lots of potential bubbling under the surface. I hope to see more of your work in the near future, regardless of how this particular contest plays out!
This item is much better than some of the other chosen items.
I would have taken out the "attacks on either creature" affect both section. I would also use etherealness instead of plane shift, to achieve some of the same effects at a lower cost..... 70k is a bit much.
I don't think it's "dull" at all. Kudos.
Tunnel Fighter's Ring
Congratulations RD.
Tunnel fighters ring mostly got my upvote. I found it trying to fix a problem that isn't really there. There have to be some limitation or the game loses its challenge in my opinion. Five foot tunnels are usually a an intended addition to an encounter and don't happen that frequently. However what this did do it did with a consistent image, the writing was clear the and anchor showed a level of design chops that I hope we will see more of in future rounds.Good luck! :)
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Congrats on making alternate. I think you were robbed though - this was my second favorite item I saw during voting, and thought it was a shoe in for top 32 (and one of the better ones at that).
I really like this item, it does something no other item does in the game I'm aware of, and has very cool extradimensional space rational for it. I actually think that it's too expensive and doesn't need as much limitations of having attacks affect both creatures though. It's main power of being able to have two creatures occupy the same space without penalty is actually a watered down version of the swarming monster ability of morlocks and ratfolk (which is a racial ability of a PC race therefore), in that it doesn't count as flanking. It's also more flexible though since it works with any other creature, not only another morlock or ratfolk, which seems roughly balanced with the loss of flanking.
I'd be fine with this in my game at a 30K price, and without two creatures both succumbing to attacks, but love the detail of dimensional anchor deactivating the ring (though I'd also include dimensional lock).
Tunnel Fighter's Ring
Aura strong conjuration;CL 12th
Slot ring; Price 70,000 gp; Weight —Description
This ring is crafted of two intertwining gold strands, forming a pattern so intricate that it is difficult to discern either strand’s path. By means of twining an extradimensional space and normal space, this ring allows the wearer to maneuver easily in otherwise tight quarters.At will, the wearer can occupy the same square as another allied creature, with no penalty to either. Any attack on either creature in that square affects both creatures, and is resolved individually. These creatures do not cover or conceal one another. Only one Tunnel Fighter’s Ring wearer may occupy a square at a time, additional wearers are unable to enter the square.
The wearer also gains a +10 circumstance bonus to acrobatics checks made to avoid attacks of opportunity when moving through an opponent's square or threatened area.
A Dimensional Anchor spell cast on the wearer negates the benefits of the ring for the duration of the spell.
Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, Plane Shift; Cost 35,000 gp
Is the Item Decorative?
Well it's gold and it's intricately patterned, so let's consider that moderately decorative.
Decorative score? 3 out of 7.
Does the Item have Any Obvious non-Decorative Use Around the Home?
None that it's polite to post in this environment.
non-Decorative Domestic Use score? 5 out of 7.
Does the Item seem Likely to be Helpful in the Fantasy Setting of an Imaginary World where 'Operation Sealion' is taking Place?
So the (for simplicity's sake) Nasties are lining up with all their little boats to launch an invasion-attempt across a strait upon a nation of perfectly (socially) harmless tea-drinkers. And then there's this item.
So what impact is this item likely to have on proceedings?
On the epic sweeping grandeur of the stage that sees an 'Operation Sealion' taking place, fighting in quarters as close as this ring is apparently designed to see use in is highly unlikely to occur, as the Nasties will be pulled up well-short of any bunker-clearing operations. If this had been about the hypothetical purely imaginary operation going the other way, 'Operation Overlord', it might be expected to see more use, but as it is, it would be unlikely to have much impact.
'Sealion' score? 1 out of 7.
Total: 9 out of 21.
You can see my full commentary on your item on my dedicated critique thread here.
To understand my method of commenting, you'll likely need to read the first entry.
Why am I critiquing every item? Well, frankly, I love this sort of thing. I sincerely enjoy editing and the art of the critique. I have long considered starting a blog to that end, and maybe this will be the kickstart I need. Speaking of which, if you want to hire an editor, I'd be happy to help ;)
Regardless, the point of my criticism is always to help. Nothing is perfect, so everything can potentially be made better. My comments will often be less than flattering, but they will never come from a place of malice. The point here is to make your item better, not to make you feel bad.
So, what am I looking for, here, when I judge these items? My primary focus is on rules knowledge, clarity/simplicity, and usability. You can come up with the most creative item on the planet, but if nobody is going to actually use it in a real game, who cares? And it doesn't matter if nobody uses it because it's obviously too strong, too weak for its price, too confusing/complicated to actually adjudicate at the table, or just too niche to have an actual target audience. What I am generally not looking at is flavor text. Descriptions of your item will only hurt if the item evokes imagery I dislike. I care about theme, of course, but a crow item with blind and pilfering hand in it is thematic enough--I don't need to read about different kinds of dark wood were used and how many crow parts are sticking out of it.
Finally, know that I did not read any critiques of your item yet. These are all my first thoughts based only on the item itself, so, I apologize if I repeat things others have said already.
Now, let's get to the critique!
This was another crowd favorite during my limited keeper list sharing, and I admittedly never understood why, with it's main function causing more of a penalty than a beneft, and its secondary (arguably more useful) function just shouldn't cost so much.
I mean, honestly, there is a niche for fighting with you allies in tight quarters, but not if you let your enemies effectively double their attacks (by hitting two of you at once). The only way I could imagine using this would be if I had dominated/charmed/whatever someone and shared their space, forcing the bad guys to hurt their own to get me. But, more than that, I'd rather just be far away out of reach.
+10 Acrobatics for avoiding AoOs is not bad, though--there's definitely a need for that, since CMDs scale so ridiculously fast, you'll need all the help you can get. But yeah, 70k is way too much for +10 Acrobatics and "you and your ally can both take damage from the same attacks!"
If my party found this, we'd be thrilled to be getting so much money. I imagine there's probably some kind of weird niche builds that would want to use this, but I can't figure out what they are so far.
Overall, no thanks, not worth the party taking twice as many hits.
In retrospect, I'd drop the part about attacks affecting both. There's too much adjudication that would have to come into play. Some attacks don't make sense to work like that, even with the weirdness of two players in the same space.
The price was definitely my biggest struggle. During voting I came to feel it was substantially overpriced compared to other items in the contest, though it had felt about right to me when I was comparing it to other rings before submission. I'd probably lower it 20k-ish now.
Of the suggestions I've seen, I like the Tindalos "coming into space from a weird angle" thing, and I'd build the descriptiveness off that. I'd probably fiddle with something like decreased threaten space, and probably do something with decreased reach as well.
The original idea was for a ring that doubled or halved distances. In practice, I found that difficult to make in a way that wasn't super exploitable, but then I thought about this way of warping space instead.
The name is kinda bland, but it was a strategic choice based on the voting situation. I wanted to make it very clear to the quick voting public why you'd want the effect while still having a bit of flavor. My working name was "Ring Of Space Warp", but that seemed a bit too on-the-nose. ;-)
My main thought with a ring is that it should be something that's a constant effect, it shouldn't be something you take on and off for special situations, hence the nice acrobatics boost.
Other ideas I considered-
Polevaulting polearm
Shield that gave extra protection against attacks of opportunity
Shield that worked as a kind of glider
"Charon's oar/staff" An oar-shaped staff that worked with memory erasing effects.
Hammer that could turn opponents to glass
Monkey's Manrikigusari, bonuses to acrobatics, climb, etc.
Ranseur that had longer reach against creatures in flight, with a grapple effect as well.
Arrows that stored attacks. An ally could "attack" the arrow before firing and the dmg would be added to the target when hit.
"ring of medevac" would move ally to adjacent square when healed
Epee Of The Dancing Duelist - I don't actually remember where I was going with this, but it sounds promising.