memorable words spoken by favourite film villain


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Te'Shen wrote:
Leonard Shelby: Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts.

One of my top 10 favorite movies.

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I went to the trouble of finding and transcribing these quotes after recognizing some other quotes here, but for some reason never posted them. Oh well, better late than never...

Preceded by a sadistic explanation of black mamba venom:

A Blonde Villain wrote:
“Now, in these last agonizing minutes of life you have left, let me answer that question you asked earlier more thoroughly. Right at this moment, the biggest ‘R’ I feel is regret. Regret that maybe the greatest warrior I have ever met met her end at the hands of a bush wackin’ scrub elkie piece of shit like you! That woman deserved better.”


Preceded by much blood and death:

An Old Villain wrote:

“When you never came back, I naturally assumed Lisa Wong or somebody else had killed you. I mourned you for three months, and in the third month of mourning you, I tracked you down. I wasn’t trying to track you down; I was trying to track down the f~#~ing a+&*&~%s I thought had killed you. So I find you; and what do I find? Not only are you not dead; you’re getting married to some f#+#ing jerk, and you’re pregnant. I…overreacted."


"I didn’t say I was going to explain myself; I told you I was going to tell you the truth. But if that’s too cryptic, let’s get literal. I’m a killer, a murdering bastard; you know that. And there are consequences to breaking the heart of a murdering bastard.”


And I'm surprised neither of these has appeared in this thread:

A Very Unfunny Villain wrote:

“My father was a drinker, and a fiend. So one night he goes off crazier than usual; mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Then he turns to me, and he says ‘Why so serious?’ He comes at me with the knife…’Why so serious?!’ He sticks the blade in my mouth…’Let’s put a smile on that face!’

Aaand…why so serious?”


A Very Unfunny Villain wrote:

“I had a wife once, beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much; who tells me I oughtta smile more; who gambles, and gets in deep with the sharks. One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries, and she can’t take it. I just want to see her smile again; I just want her to know that I don’t care about the scars. So I stick a razor in my mouth, and do this…*swishes cheeks* myself. And you know what? She can’t stand the sight of me! She leaves.

But now I see the funny side; now I’m always smiling."

I love how both of these stories are told with complete sincerity; so much so that I didn't immediately realize that they contradicted each other the first time I saw this film.

Heh, yeah I love the Joker's conflicting explanations in The Dark Knight.

I also love when he tries to tell what I can only assume is yet another story about his scars to Batman.

The Joker: It's a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars?
Batman: No! But I know how you got these!
[fires gauntlet blades into Joker's face]

Liberty's Edge

James Bond: (after a shootout in a drug lab, followed by a very long and awesome chase on tanker trucks filled with gasoline and cocaine that involved rolling one of them over a cliff, crawls away from the wreckage of said gasoline/cocaine-filled tanker truck, covered in grime and sweat, his clothes tattered. He only gets about five steps before crawling face-first into a machete)

Franz Sanchez: (the owner of said tanker trucks that were wrecked by 007, thoroughly soaked in gasoline from head to toe; now standing triumphant above Bond, holding a machete in his face. He grabs Bond, hauling him to his feet before slamming him against a rock) You could have had everything! (raises the machete, ready to chop Bond into dog food)

James Bond: Don't you want to know why?

Sanchez: (hesitates)

Bond: (pulls out his cigar lighter from the beginning of the movie, engraved "To James - Love Always, Della and Felix" ...and proceeds to light Sanchez's jacket on fire)

Sanchez's Fiery Death: D: (screams and flails around for about six seconds while on fire, before his knees buckle and he collapses into a puddle of gasoline... that's oozing from the tanker truck! The gasoline ignites in a burst of flame and starts trailing up to the tanker)

Bond: D: D: D: (hauls ass, diving behind a rock outcropping)

Tanker Truck: (bursts into flames) (COLOSSAL EXPLOSION!)

Dark Archive Vendor - Fantasiapelit Tampere

"YOU CALL ME "BOY"?! I will unfurl one thousand years of Kree justice on Xandar AND BURN IT TO ITS CORE!! Then, Thanos, I'm coming for you!"

"You see, hidden within the unconscious, there is an insatiable desire for conflict. So, you're not fighting me, so much as you are the human condition. All I want to do is own the bullets and the bandages."

"And every action I take, no matter how violent or how cruel, is for the greater good of my people. And now... I have no people. My soul, that is what you have taken from me!"

Pretty much everything Darth Vader says.

Tragic irony or poetic justice, you tell me.

"Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded, and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew, a beautiful parasite inside S.H.I.E.L.D. For 70 years, HYDRA has been secretly feeding crises, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed.....HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA's New World Order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your life, a zero sum!"

"Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!"

And, even in my immense hatred for this movie, this is still pretty friggin memorable and awesome line:

"Ladies. Children. Sheep. Some people call me a terrorist, I consider myself a teacher. Lesson number one: Heroes. There is no such thing. You'll never see me coming."

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Sméagol lied.

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"Crusty jugglers!"

*character played by Patrick Stewart doesn't say a word, just tosses a lighter at the feet of Alec Guiness's character*

"I had to pick a side George. It was as much an aesthetic choice as a moral one. The West has become so very ugly."

Tinkergoth wrote:

Heh, yeah I love the Joker's conflicting explanations in The Dark Knight.

I also love when he tries to tell what I can only assume is yet another story about his scars to Batman.

The Joker: It's a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars?
Batman: No! But I know how you got these!
[fires gauntlet blades into Joker's face]

TDK is full of little gems, from the villains and from the heroes. I love Gordon's explanation to his son at the film's end.

The Dark Knight wrote:

"Why's he running, dad?"

"Because we have to chase him."

"But he didn't do anything wrong."

"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero; he's a silent guardian; a watchful protector; a dark knight."

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Kajehase wrote:
Sméagol lied.

The facial expression and intonation make this one funny as well as nasty. :)


Gollum wrote:

"Pretty little fly, why does it cry?

Caught in a web, soon he'll be...dead.

Dantoine is to remote to make an effective demonstration. We will deal with your rebel friends soon enough.

Liberty's Edge

Khan: (grabs Admiral Marcus by the head and hauls him to his feet) You should have let me sleep. (Khan proceeds to crush the admiral's skull IN HIS BARE HANDS)

Carol Marcus: (screams in absolute terror)

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