How best to manage IC disputes with a player I don't particularly care for OOC?


Advice


I'm hoping to avoid a messy situation... there is one player in my group who I find to be too mechanically-oriented and metagamey to mesh well with my play style. I've played a few campaigns with him without problems, but in this new campaign our characters are having some squabbles (nothing major, they just compete a lot over pretty much everything.)

Usually I find a little friendly intercharacter conflict to be a fun and memorable feature of the game, and I enjoy the challenge of sticking true to my character's motivation while part of a group. The problem is, it's not as fun to roleplay that rivalry when I actually am not fond of the player behind the PC.

My question: has anyone found a satisfying way to handle in-character conflicts with a PC of a player who they do not care for personally? I want to stay true to my character motivations (including competitiveness) which might cause more intercharacter conflict, but I don't want things to get at all ugly.


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Either keep your personal feelings in check, or just don't interact (or do so minimally) with his character.


Been there more than once. I found the best way to handle it was to RP as true to my character as I could and try to leave the personal issues out. Talk to the DM if it is a serious enough issue that is hampering your fun or possibly the other person's.

If the reason for the dislike is strictly based on the game then I would talk to that person privately and hash it out. Let them know what is bothering you. I have done this before and the other person(s) did not even know what they were doing. It actually helped because we both learned more about the person and what they get out of playing the game and we were able to co exist if not become friends later.


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Why are you playing with someone you don't like? O_o


havoc xiii wrote:
Why are you playing with someone you don't like? O_o

This. (Is it PFS?)


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

It can be important to determine the source of the conflict - whether your dislike, or a mutual dislike, or whether actual character mismatching.

Beyond that, Paulicus and Grond have the best suggestions - Avoid or Talk-it-out.


havoc xiii wrote:
Why are you playing with someone you don't like? O_o

It isn't that hard to do. Friend of a friend. Local gaming store with open PFS or campaign invitation. Joining a friend's game and find out he invited someone's boy friend or girlfriend that you didn't know existed until the game started.


If the problem is the way he is RP'ing the character then calmly let him know so that he might change it. If the problem is the dislike for the player then I would say put your personal feelings aside.


I've been in this same situation, except it was consecutive campaigns. IRL we got along well and occasionally hung out outside of the game (even went camping once). In character though, it seemed like his character in every campaign had a problem with mine. There was always -some- kind of rationalization for it, but it became predictable. In an eberron game, he was house cannith and i was a warforged. In kingmaker, he was a dward and I was a half-orc. And so on. Fantasy world racism?

I liked the guy and it started out fun, but over years it came up again and again. It got old, and stopped being fun. The "role-played" verbal abuse starts to feel personal after awhile. This past December, the gaming group finally disbanded after ten year. Haven't spoken to him since.


havoc xiii wrote:
Why are you playing with someone you don't like? O_o

The GM is fantastic, and all of the other players I like. I'm not GMing so I don't have the luxury of hand-picking which players join.

I guess the advice of "leave personal feelings out of it" might be the best I can do. It's just, before this I've always considered interparty conflict to be one of the most fun parts of the game, and it's just not enjoyable if it's not backed by good spirit.


take care of it sooner rather than later. in my experience letting things just simmer results in a blow up later on, that causes people to take sides and ends friendships.

Liberty's Edge

Chad Karsky wrote:

I'm hoping to avoid a messy situation... there is one player in my group who I find to be too mechanically-oriented and metagamey to mesh well with my play style. I've played a few campaigns with him without problems, but in this new campaign our characters are having some squabbles (nothing major, they just compete a lot over pretty much everything.)

Usually I find a little friendly inter-character conflict to be a fun and memorable feature of the game, and I enjoy the challenge of sticking true to my character's motivation while part of a group. The problem is, it's not as fun to roleplay that rivalry when I actually am not fond of the player behind the PC.

My question: has anyone found a satisfying way to handle in-character conflicts with a PC of a player who they do not care for personally? I want to stay true to my character motivations (including competitiveness) which might cause more inter-character conflict, but I don't want things to get at all ugly.

I suggest you change your character's motivations to get rid of the conflict with the other player. Some players do have a problem with sacrificing part of their character concept (not saying that you do), but since this is a social game, why not try to come up with a way to make the experience more enjoyable?

You can also look at this from the perspective of being a GM (which you have been). A GM will try to make the game enjoyable for all the players. Just think if all of the players used the same perspective; it would be difficult to not have a fun game.

The other way you could look at it is to challenge yourself and come up with a motivation that would cause your character to work with the other character. I admit, that this is sometimes a difficult thing to do, but the potential outcome in game and out of game could be very good.


I'm just curious. When you said they compete over everything, do you mean like you're about to open the door, but he rushes in to open it before you? That you toss a fireball and he has to toss a bigger fireball? That you cut with a scimitar but he has to cut with a steak knife? It doesn't really matter overall really. Like I said, just curious how far it went.

In any case, I'd agree with the interacting with his character less. I play with someone sort of like your other player. His character sometimes goes off of metagame knowledge sometimes. More mechanically minded, focused on what he can do in battle, his skill bonus total more than how he roleplays / uses them (i.e. high diplomacy, but isn't very diplomatic with what his character says or does). It's just who he is and the way he enjoys playing the game. I wouldn't begrudge him that. I don't dislike him because of it. I simply don't communicate directly to him (character to character) unless my character had a reason. Seems to work fine. For me at least.

All that being said, if you didn't have this conflict in game, would his metagamey, mechanics mindedness bother you as much? If you don't think so, then do what you can to lessen the conflict in game. If it would however, then you might need to find a way to deal with it OOC. Not sure how honestly, as asking other people to play their character differently could be considered rude by them.

Good Luck though!

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