It's Been a Bard Day's Night


Pathfinder Society

Grand Lodge 5/5 5/5 Venture-Agent, Florida—Melbourne aka trollbill

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Does this ever feel like your PFS Bard some times?

Player: Crap! I fail my Climb check again.
Bard: I cast feather fall.
Player: Crap! The monster grabbed me and it's going to swallow me whole next round.
Bard: I cast liberating command.
Player: Crap! I failed my save against fear and I am going to have to run away from the combat.
Bard: *sigh* I cast remove fear.
Player: Crap! I failed my save against confusion.
Bard: *sigh* I cast suppress charms and compulsions.
Player: Crap! I don't have anything to get past this monster's DR.
Bard: *sigh* I cast versatile weapon
Player: Crap! I can't hit this guy.
Bard: *sigh* I activate inspire courage, cast heroism, then cast dazzling blade as a swift action to blind the monster. There, you have a +6 to hit against its flat-footed AC.
Player: Crap! I just...
Bard: CAN'T YOU GUYS DO ANYTHING BY YOURSELVES!!!

I mean, its nice to feel needed, but sheeesh.

Scarab Sages

Player: Crap! My character needs a theme song!
Bard: *sigh* *Begins playing music*

3/5

Player: Crap! we don't have a tank
Bard: *sigh* begins tanking with antagonize

Player: Crap! we don't have a healer!
Bard: *sigh* begins casting various healing spells.

Player: Crap! what the hell is that thing?
Bard: *sigh* makes knowledge check.

Bards are now, and have always been, my favorite class ever.

Grand Lodge 4/5 Venture-Captain, California—Sacramento aka FLite

Player: Crap! The tank and the dps are dead
Bard: *sigh* I'll go tell the Decemvirate you guys failed.

happened in game. Tank and DPS went down, Cleric had no offense, witch was out of hexes, and I had slippers of spider climb and haste cast on me.

Sovereign Court 5/5 5/55/55/5

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Its been a bard days knight
I been delving like a dog

Its been a bad days knight
I've been singing all day long

but when I get to buff you, you'll find the things that I do
will make you feel alright

You know I buff all day
to get you hasted to kill those things
And it's worth it just to hear you say
you're going to slay that damn swarm that stings

So why on earth should I moan,
like all my prestige has been blown

Let me help you dodge that ray

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Reynard de' Bonaire wrote:

Its been a bard days knight

I been delving like a dog

Its been a bad days knight
I've been singing all day long

but when I get to buff you, you'll find the things that I do
will make you feel alright

You know I buff all day
to get you hasted to kill those things
And it's worth it just to hear you say
you're going to slay that damn swarm that stings

So why on earth should I moan,
like all my prestige has been blown

Let me help you dodge that ray

This is one of the many reasons why PFS is awesome.

Scarab Sages

Brave Sir Robin...

Liberty's Edge

Player: "Damn, these things have DR/Magic, I can't do a thing to them."
Bard: "Arcane Strike motherf***ers" *solos entire encounter*

Silver Crusade

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Ran a game last Wednesday with an Uber bard. The character was giving an entire table of frontliners +6 to hit and damage. They were hitting on 2s, and I have never seen so many 1's; an average of two per round all night. Paraphrased quote from the bard: "I can't roll the dice for you!"

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