Order 66


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After three months Jay Leno comes to take the Late Show back and IHIYC get sent to Vegas to open for Britney Spears. (do we have a consensus on career death in this thread working?)

***As a side note, most ninja were samurai with specialized training***


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YOU HAVE ANGERED THE GAZEBO AND BEEN DEVOURED.


Releases Advanced Celestial Mythic Termite swarm on Gazebo, lets them do their thing.


I take the scotty-fish, chop it's head off and start a sushi bbq, all are invited as long as they behave.


The Fiend has an allergic reaction to the fish, swells up and dies in the middle of the barbeque.

Scarab Sages

*whistles merrily as he walks through with a vacuum cleaner that devours the Fuzzball*


The fuzzball should pay attention to the Jester, who knows what this is all about. Killing the person yourself...opposed to an allergy ^^

So i hereby drop a megasized flask of highly corrosive alchemist fire on top of the jester. He'll likely be back anyway.

Scarab Sages

As I burn, burn, burn, I spot The Fiend Fantastic, and I go over to him and give him a BIIIIIG hug....


I proffer a mirror to IHIYC.

He looks at the unholiness that is his face and he dies of shock.

Then I steal his hat and make my way to Jägerlander to sell them a nize hat !

Sovereign Court

After I buy the hat (because it is a very nice hat), I challenge TQQL to a wrestling competition (not telling him that instead of me, he will be fighting against a million androids).


Drop the Bard into a chaos warp!


Drop EtL into an order warp.


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I drop Sissyl into a warphole to the plane of sugar, spice & everything disgustingly nice. It's a 1 person 1 way ticket.


I cancel The Fiend Fantastic membership in the Well Trimmed Mustachied Fiends & Ghouls Club. He dies of shame.

Shadow Lodge

Haul this gnome off for a cage match with the actual Quiche Lisp, two gnomes in, one gnome out. Then hang the winner.


Candlejack dies by Freakazoid in single combat. The killing blow? A vorpal rubber chicken.


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Before old age takes me I tell krevon the long, rambling story of my life, a-la Abe "Grandpa" Simpson. Boredom sets in and his brain shuts down in an attempt to escape.


George RR Martin makes Grandpa Wonderbra into the most caring and lovable character in Westeros only to be killed by an STD from the Imp.


Krevon is eaten by a wild pack of dabies.


People, people, you are to kill them yourself. Merely describing a death is nothing fancy... here let me show you.

I smacked Dabies' head to mush with 1 swing of my +666 to hit +666 fire dmg warmaul.

Scarab Sages

While The Fiend Fantastic is walking around trying to catch raindrops in his mouth (as he is so frequently wont to do), I pass by and empty a tube of superglue into his mouth and nostrils (a tall glass of liquid nitrogen might have been more my style, to be honest, but you know, those darned devils and their cold immunity).


You're thinking of Kytons. Devils are normally immune to Fire, though many have Cold resistance. I think Gelugons are immune to both, admittedly; they're the main ones of my kin I've had little opportunity to research, I'm afraid.

Regardless, I take full advantage of the unused glass of nitrogen and the jester's lack of immunity and encase his head in a bubble of the substance.

Sovereign Court

Alu'Vien Darkstar met her match however, as I smash her through a portal to the Osirisian desert and then I lift her up above my head and let her be bathed in super strong sunlight (which disintegrates her body and of course, kills her).

Scarab Sages

A huge lawyer eats our Jurassic Bard - well, I suppose that proves they're really not all bad.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
A huge lawyer eats our Jurassic Bard - well, I suppose that proves they're really not all bad.

***Does that make him a mesozoic lawyer?***

Anyways back to the topic....I'm hiring a mime assassin to wait the closet to kill you.


Jurassic Bard wrote:
Alu'Vien Darkstar met her match however, as I smash her through a portal to the Osirisian desert and then I lift her up above my head and let her be bathed in super strong sunlight (which disintegrates her body and of course, kills her).

Hmm, I don't recall becoming a vampire, curious. Thank goodness for contingent true resurrection I suppose. Every cleric should have one.

Meanwhile, a freak blizzard and avalanche makes quick work of Krevon. I do so love weather magic.

Sovereign Court

Alu'Vien Darkstar wrote:
Jurassic Bard wrote:
Alu'Vien Darkstar met her match however, as I smash her through a portal to the Osirisian desert and then I lift her up above my head and let her be bathed in super strong sunlight (which disintegrates her body and of course, kills her).
Hmm, I don't recall becoming a vampire, curious. Thank goodness for contingent true resurrection I suppose. Every cleric should have one.

I was 'playing' to the fact you use ice.

Beyond that, I cast a spell that turns you into a large block of ice (ironic, right) and I sing a loud song that shatters you into a thousand or so pieces.


While Alu-Vien Darkstar is standing in front of me with a smile on his smug face, so full of his numerous immunities and magical resistances, I poke him in the right eye with a dirty finger.

He dies screaming in a high-pitched voice from cultural and septic shock while I laugh myself to tears.

It's good to be evil.


*returns after next set of contingencies go off and are reapplied*

*looks at herself in the mirror*

*looks down at her chest*

*looks back at the mirror*

He? Really? Really?

*just shoves her longaxe into QL's face*

Apparently you were blind already. Nothing lost.

Scarab Sages

In homage to one of Loki's great misadventures, I shave Alu'Vien Darkstar's head of its enviable blue locks while she sleeps, then promise to get her superior replacement hair to make up for it. I make good on my promise, journeying to Svartalfheim and commissioning a head of hair that will root itself into Alu'Vien's scalp and grow on its own from there.

Congratulations on your new hair - made from finest plutonium!


Alot drag noisy jester out of closet and crush.

Alot just want be left alone.

Sovereign Court

Feeling sorry that Alot looks so lonely, I decide to be his friend and stick to him like glue! Only for him to jump off a cliff three weeks later, leaving me very confused.

Scarab Sages

I offer to teach Jurassic Bard a Bardic Masterpiece. It turns out it's the The Rite of Spring....


SHOCKING GRASP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1CP7kya5dQ

Sovereign Court

I trick Lon-Qu into becoming a matador for the local bull fighting tournament. Instead of a bull however, it's actually me in the form of a triceratops.


I sick a gigantic swarm of hell rot poison wasps at the soon to be ex Rex. I control them via my shell hat.


Gallbedarmed cultists! Now they're gettin' bugs everywhere! *blasts Sissyl with high-grade pesticide then lights it on fire*


Oww.......that looks like it might hurt.
Not as much though as what i've in mind.

I tied Old Man Henderson's limbs to 4 hellbeasts and have him torn apart.


I dress TFF up like a donut and release Homer Simpson after Homer's been on a diet.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Mistake Grandpa for Doctor Lucky and beat him to death with a pool cue.

PS - how many times are folks getting resurrected here on this thread?


As many as necessary. I think some priest has a mine of diamond dust to burn.

Speaking of, I talk Kestrel to the point of madness with unwelcomed advice, resulting in it setting itself and its sarcophagus afire.


I chose constructs as favored enemy and crit-killed Paper Clip


Smite Good.

Sovereign Court

I turn into a psychopomp Catrina and give Alu'Vien Darkstar a great big kiss - of death!


ROCK OUT AND SHATTER JURASSIC BARD BONES WITH THE METAL!


Simple, *snaps AM SKALD's neck*

Scarab Sages

I summon a legion of tooth fairies to wipe that smile off The Fiend Fantastic's face for good.

Sovereign Court

To honour my pact with TFF, I tirelessly dig out a hole and hide in it covering the 'entrance' in the process. Once IHIYC steps on the trap and falls down the hole, I turn into a hybrid form of a pit fiend and a giant trapdoor spider and... Well, you can guess what happens can't you?


Dinobots cause Jurassic Bard to become extinct.


HUZZAH!! Crash through the roof and land on krevon! Oh was there something there? I felt a bump.

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