Golarion specific limmericks

Lost Omens Campaign Setting General Discussion

The Exchange

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I see there's been some limmerick-related threads on this site, and the humble limmerick can be a great tool for roleplayers: they're easy to write, easy to remember, short and (hopefully at least mildly) amusing. Peppering the speech of your PCs or NPCs with the odd setting-specific limmerick can be a quick way to help conjure up some depth, colour and player immersion for your campaign.

So, what setting-specific limmericks can people come up with? Here's a few to start off with (the product of a slow work day...):

There once was a Seeker for Sky,
Who swore that he never would die,
When the surface he reached,
A mountain he breached...
... then fell off (and dwarves cannot fly...)

There once was an elf of the Spire,
Who wouldn't stop playing with fire,
His lesson was learnt,
When his ears wound up burnt,
Heed this as a warning most dire.

There once was a bloatmage called Slim,
Who proved most remarkably dim,
For power he bled,
'Till he ended up dead,
And that's all they wrote about him.

There was a young wizard from Geb,
Who learned how to cast the spell 'web',
But his aim was for nought,
His own hireling he caught,
But so what? He was only a pleb.

There once was a Chelish lad,
Who didn't think devils so bad,
He sold his own soul,
To complete his goal,
(Between you and me: he was had!)

Of course a true limmerick tends towards the lewd, although personally I think it's funnier when delivered via a healthy dose of innuendo...

There once was a Chelish lass,
Who a hellknight took up the As-
-modean church,
Where a flick of the birch,
Got rid of some of her sass.

Edit: (As a bonus, you can string a few limmericks together, perhaps with a rousing chorus, and you've got yourself a genuine Golarian drinking song!)

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An Ulfen berserker named Sven
Went hunting Linnorns in the glen
To become a king
Of whom all skalds would sing
But never was heard of again.

The Exchange

Nice one Mudfoot!

Any more?

Scarab Sages

It's not a limerick, but it is most definitely a drinking song, about the regular forum-posters.

Damiel's Drink

There's more songs from where that came from, in a few weeks, if you pick up this Summer's Wayfinder. None of them limericks, alas, but good for some patriotic (drunken?) bonding.

Scarab Sages

I once knew an alchemist gnome,
who kept his lab in his home.
He learned his mistake,
when he brewed an earthquake,
now potless and cotless he'll roam.

Silver Crusade

There once was a group of Pathfinders,
who showed off their shiny Wayfinders.
They fought the undead,
got knocked on the head,
and found themselves locked up in binders.

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A man from Mendev went to the Abyss,
and returned home with a Succubus,
He made her his wife
at the cost of his life,
when at the wedding she gave him her kiss.

Silver Crusade

Here's a highly abridged, yet mostly accurate accounting of one of my Pathfinder Society sessions:

There once was a sorcerer gnome,
who ventured from Taldor to roam.
When the zombies attacked,
he ran all the way back,
and his allies all died far from home.

The Exchange

There once was a Magus named Brock,
Whom everyone used to mock,
With a monster he’d lain,
And split her in twain,
It seems his black blade was his co[mpletely inappropriate for a family web site]

The Exchange

A wizard fed up with cruel jeers,
Crafts a wand to keep up with his peers,
It brings a tear to his eye,
When he gives it a try,
And finds it casts cursed ‘flaming spheres’.

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