"Useless" magic items to give to players


Homebrew and House Rules

51 to 100 of 154 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | next > last >>

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Quest For Excalipoor: Six NPC-class characters find the one thing that can finish off the tarrasque before it rises again, buried in a pile of manure. The one problem? The real heroes are miles away.

Wait, there's more than one problem. There's also the problem that that's where the tarrasque is, the characters only have a bunch of other useless items to keep them alive, and, oh, yeah, there are tons of lesser spawn of Rovagug all looking for Excalipoor so they can destroy it.

The characters must fight, sneak and deceive their way past the spawn, using every trick they've got, to deliver the sword and save the world.

Coming this summer to a table near you.

[Outrageous French accent] "We've already got one. It's very nice."[/accent]

Ring of Ambidexterity This ring grants the wearer ambidexterity.

Boots of Dwarvenkind When worn these boots create a loud stomping noise as the wearer walks. -20 to all stealth checks.

The TWO Ring This ring makes the wearer regular.

Handy Fanny Pack This fanny pack holds material of as much as 2 cubic feet in volume or 20 pounds in weight. Anyone seeing the adventurer wearing it must make a DC 20 Will save or be subject to a Hideous Laughter spell, this includes the wearers allies.

Alarm Watch This watch makes a loud beeping noise whenever the wearer makes a stealth roll.


Snorb wrote:
FuelDrop wrote:


So... it can kill the tarrasque, then?
If you can hit the tarrasque 525 times, and you can survive the tarrasque's entire suite of attacks, then yes, you can kill the tarrasque with Excalipoor. =p

Although very funny and difficult.... No, it can't kill the tarrasue because its regeneration can't be stopped. Though I like the idea there.


5 people marked this as a favorite.

Sword of the Narwhal When used underwater, the wielder of this sword gains waterbreathing and move 60'. They can also make a charge attack by holding the pommel of the sword against their forehead. If they damage their opponent, they must make a DC10 Fortitude save or be knocked unconscious for 1d4 rounds because they were holding their weapon against their forehead, and because they're not really a narwhal.

Lightsaber of Disappointment This weapon seems to be the legendary weapon known to be the coolest of weapons found in Numeria: the energy-bladed lightsaber! However, this weapon will always be a disappointment to its wielder. For every question the player asks about it, you the GM should give a disappointing answer:

Examples:
Player: Is it really a lightsaber?
GM: Well...kinda.
Player: Does it have an energy blade?
GM: More like a warm beam
Player: Can it cut through anything?
GM: It'll cut through most soft cheeses, eventually.
Player: What color is the blade?
GM: Like a...soft puce
Player: Does it sound like a lightsaber? Maybe I can fool my enemies.
GM: It sounds like a kazoo
Player: This sucks! I'll sell it.
GM: No one will buy it from you. It sucks.
Player: I'll just leave it somewhere then.
GM: A small gnome returns it to your inn room the next day.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

My father-in-law GMs family games from time to time. He gave my stepdaughter a "Wand of Spores, Molds, and Fungi" that produces random things from those categories on command. He gave my wife a "Wand of Probable Help" which, when you activate it, will probably help in some way.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Here's a classic

Ring of Invisibility: When you put this ring on, it turns invisible.


Anti-matter Cestus is pretty broken if you start creating Astral Projections or Simulacrums to use it for you on other planets and/or planes.

But then, everything is pretty broken if you use Simulacrum or Astral Projection.


Mechalibur wrote:

Here's a classic

Ring of Invisibility: When you put this ring on, it turns invisible.

This made me laugh way too hard!

I am totally going to use this in my next game!
(Whenever I can find some players :P)


ArmouredMonk13 wrote:
These are a just a tad extreme, but** spoiler omitted **** spoiler omitted **...

The Antimatter Cestus can be used to kill the Tarrasque.

I suggest creating a simulacrum to use it.

Ninja'ed but I stand behind it.

After they pay for a remove curse, someone sells it for a ridiculous sum. :)


A collapsible spear or quarterstaff. However it is hollowed on the inside with a bag of holding on one end, and a portable hole on the other. So when you collapse it the portable hole goes into the bag of holding and wielder + staff + everything with in 10ft radius goes in. Usable once, but gets player and enemy lost on astral plane!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Kitchen Knife: +1 dagger, +4 on skill checks relating to food preparation and purify food and drink 3/day (food only).


Horn of plenty that produces rotten food.

-1 adamantium dagger. Great if you fight constructs.


Boots of Stomping Like an Elephant: when worn, these boots grant you the benefits of the Elephant Stomp feat.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Hammer of Smashing Food: Anything you attack (or attempt to steal or sunder) with the hammer is subject to Putrefy Food and Drink, if it is a valid target.

Pouch of all your money: A seemingly endless pouch of gold. However, if you remove gold from it, an equivalent amount of gold is taken from your supplies. This may be taken from any money you own, whether it is a stash of gold from a faraway bank account or spare change in your back pocket. If you have no money left, the pouch seals up and cannot be opened until you procure more money.


Arachnofiend wrote:
Excalibur: A sword of infinite power. It is treated as a simple weapon for the purposes of proficiency, and the wielder claims automatic victory in any battle s/he enters. However, the wielder must abide by the sword's 1000 provisions, including daily attendance at the 5 Hour Story Telling Party.

Soul Eater much?


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber
Timebomb wrote:
Armor of UNREAL AIR
N. Jolly wrote:
Sord

I see what you're doing.


Ring of Poison Resistance.

When worn summons a group called the Poison Resistance who tries to kill the wearer.


Quote:

Starknife of Unrelenting Devotion

This +3 returning mithril starknife houses the soul of a virginal maiden who never had the chance to so much as form a romantic relationship while she was alive. So desperate is she now for companionship that she clings to her wielder. When throwing the Starknife of Unrelenting Devotion or attempting to discard it, sell it, or otherwise remove it from your possession, you must succeed a Will save against DC 30 or else the starknife does not leave your square, turning back instantly and dealing its weapon damage to you instead. Upon a successful save, the weapon's returning quality does not function, and the spirit in the starknife loudly sobs for 2d4 rounds (attracting attention from all who hear it within 60 feet) or until you pick it up and apologize as a standard action.

Regardless of if you pick it up or not, after a full night's rest, you will awaken with the starknife resting upon your chest. This happens even if it was locked away somehow.

The spirit in the starknife is susceptible to effects that cause sleep; putting it to sleep delays the time it will return to you by one day. During the time it's asleep it loses all weapon qualities and enhancement bonuses, instead becoming a standard iron starknife.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Why all the defective magic items? Are they excavating a low quality magical academy or something?

If it is really a high magic world, have them find things like the backstratcher +2, shoes of perfect comfort, toothpick of cleanliness, or amulet of the umbrella.


The game itself has plenty of flavor items which vary along the scale of usability.

My personal favorite is the Ring of Arcane Signets from Ultimate Equipment.


Don't forget the most useful useless magic item. A magic item that generates protective penumbra for a specific race.


Oxylepy wrote:
Don't forget the most useful useless magic item. A magic item that generates protective penumbra for a specific race.

Not useless if you ARE that race.


Drahliana Moonrunner wrote:
Oxylepy wrote:
Don't forget the most useful useless magic item. A magic item that generates protective penumbra for a specific race.
Not useless if you ARE that race.

Still kind of useless if that race doesn't have anything to benefit from it. Which is why it is a useful useless item. I've had a few vampires who would kill to have it, I've known a few humans to throw it away, and I have known clerics to destroy it. Mind that you should never let them come across it if they have a use for it at the time, and it's difficult to sell but valuable at the same time.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

+3 frying pan; can be used without a heat source, provides a +3 competence bonus to profession: cooking.

Stein of endless juice: always filled with cold apple cider (non-alcoholic)


Careful with the endless juice. If you make it wrong you get a stein of endless spoiled milk


Oxylepy wrote:
Careful with the endless juice. If you make it wrong you get a stein of endless spoiled milk

You do realize RatFolk want this.

Coat of arms: This gorillon fur coal has 4 arms. The extra arms will not function till you get 2 weapon fighting and spend 8 RP points on making it function.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Something I throw into each of my games:
Shoes of immortality
These hideous toe crocs halt the aging process of any who wear them, but only while wearing them. However, the natural healing process is also halted while wearing them and thus the wearer does not regain any hit points when resting. In addition, the sight of the crocs impose a -1 penalty to most charisma based checks the wearer attempts.


Shiv of Healing
This +1 Brilliant Energy dagger has a base damage of 1d4 no matter the size and deals an extra 1d6 points of positive energy "damage" on a successful hit. The positive energy heals living creatures hit.

Note: "A brilliant energy weapon cannot harm undead, constructs, or objects."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ring of endless feather fall
This gives the wearer a constant effect feather fall and earth glide effect. However, the feather fall effect is broken and does not recognise the ground at all, causing the wearer to sink into the earth uncontrollably as soon as they put it on.

Multi-purpose banana
The swiss army knife of fruit! You can use it to speak at will to any other banana on the same plane, peel it to make a hat that grants a +1 banana bonus on saves against mind-affecting effects or fire it as a ranged touch attack that does 1 banana damage on a successful hit. Also, it functions as a banana.

Self-carrying box
A creature standing in this box can pick up the box and manipulate it as if it were not in the box.

Plate of Eating
As a standard action, a creature can attune itself to the plate. Once attuned to a creature, anything put on the plate is magically transferred into the attuned creature's stomach.

Needle locator
This small compass points to the location of the nearest needle. If the nearest needle is in a haystack, the needle locator groans loudly as if in pain, then vanishes in a puff of black smoke.

Paint bucket of interior design
Throw the entire contents of the bucket into a room and it will redecorate the room completely, including furnishings worth up to 1,000 gp in total. Popular colours include 'prison cell grey', 'Bar room brown' and 'arcane laboratory of eldritch secrets octarine'.


Decanter of Endless Colors
This glass container contains an endless supply of vibrant paints. To use it, the owner must picture in their mind's eye an object of the exact color they seek, then state the object's name out loud (for instance, "rubies", or "my backpack"). The decanter will then pour out paint of the desired color until it is given a new color command. Anything the paint touches instantly changes to be of that color, as the paint/ink dries instantly. The paint comes out at a steady trickle, no matter how it is treated (even if turned completely upside down), but items like quills or brushes can be inserted within and applied manually (in this case, the paint does not instantly dry until it is applied with the brush or quill).

Melting Candle
This candle instantly melts into a puddle of molten wax if the wick is lit. It remains like this for 10 minutes before the wick goes out and it reassembles.

A Head That's Constantly Screaming
OH GOD MAKE IT STOP

Sword of Empathy
The wielder of this +1 longsword feels the pain of every strike the sword deals. This otherwise has no adverse effect. If the sword ever deals maximum damage on a critical hit, however, the wielder takes on one negative level. She retains this negative level until it is removed magically or the target is healed and accepts the wielder's sincere apologies.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

In honor of Wolin's typo:

The Pain Bucket
This bucket, when placed upon the head, allows the owner to hear a chorus of ear-piercing, agonized screams. It is said that the screams are from the souls of the Pain Bucket's previous owners. F!&# the pain bucket.


Banana Staff: Staff that grows 1d4 bananas per day. Unused bananas fall off to make room for new bananas when the new bananas appear.


Cold Box
This box is always significantly below current room temperature. Objects inside this box are not cooled in any way.

Bag of Putrid Meat
1/day this bag randomly expels one pound of rotten meat.

Orb of Slope Detection
This orb detects slopes by rolling down them.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

A Head That's Constantly Screaming

OH GOD MAKE IT STOP

Leave me out of this.

Well, might as well post the list while I'm here. Some of these are more quirky than useless, but they all fall into the same category of things which dare the party to find a use for them:

The "Holoprojecter": An ancient artifact which gives unlimited use of a silent image spell, but everyone who sees it automatically disbelieves it.

The Blind Candle: A candle which when lit, gives off no light, and whose flame is invisible. However, anyone looking in the direction of the candle with their eyes closed can see the flame, even if it's on the other side of an obstacle, so long as it's within range (120ft).

Lonely Stones: A pair of teardrop shaped stones, which when placed on the ground, will always point to each other, no matter the distance. Great for following something or finding someone who is lost. Note: Does not rotate up and down to account for elevation.

Spider's Cup: An ordinary looking cup which when turned upside down pours out water, up to 1d4 gallons per hour. The weird part, when the water hits the ground it flows uphill, not down. Drinking from the cup is usually a bad idea.

String of regeneration: A 50 ft spool of seemingly ordinary thread. When two ends are put together, they instantly fuse into one perfect piece. Cannot exceed 50 ft.

Vampire's mirror: A beautiful hand mirror made for an accursed bloodsucker. While holding the mirror, a vampire can see their own reflection in it. Anyone else who holds the mirror will not see their own reflection, but will see those of others around them, excluding vampires of course.

Baritome: A large book bound in fine leather, and adorned with a foreboding bronze face on the cover. Inside are hundreds of blank pages, and not a single word is visible. If someone writes in the book and closes it, the face immediately begins reading the entry aloud, erasing the text as it goes. The book cannot be reopened or stopped until the book is blank again.

Bag of Infinite Sand! *Some Restrictions Apply: A small pouch full of sand. When poured onto a surface, the bag will release enough sand to create a pile or trail that is one inch wide and half an inch high. The bag will never run out of sand, but it will only ever release enough to create a half inch high pile. Once a surface has received it's allotted amount of sand, the bag will never pour onto that surface again.

Wand of Make Water: Trust me, you're not that thirsty.


Comb of Sephora: This elegant black comb allows the user to change the color of their hair by thinking of the color as they run the comb through their hair for 1 minute. This effect lasts 1 hour

Pipe of Voice Disguise: This pipe, when let, allows the user to disguise his voice, but only on the exhale after the drag.

Rehearsal Mirror: On command, this hand mirror will record up to 1 minute of whatever its surface reflects, including sounds, as though the glass were an ear. A different command word is required to play back the recording.


Have any of you heard of the Kencyclopedia?

There is a minor magic item generator in the book that creates lots of fun but not exactly useful items.

Some gems I've used:

Chess piece of Mud Puddles: Shaking the pieces causes a 5' mud puddle to form under the user.

Headband of Minor Levitation: Wearing the headband causes the wearer to randomly either be walking on the ground or 1" above the ground as if levitating. Every time my players used it they would essentially vibrate in one spot for as long as they wore it and vomit.

Mirror of Minor Memory Management: By looking in the mirror you can remember what happened in the last minute. This actually became very relevant in a certain courtyard of trees on the realm of Krynn.


Decanter of Endless Tea: After spending at least an hour instructing the decanter what tea is it will produce a liquid which is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.


Tells it about boiled, strained, peppermint leaves.


A munchkin worth his salt could probably fashion the Life Raft Stone and a pair of those 70's fish tank shoes into Boots of Water Walking.


I'm very sorry to people on this board who read this and I'm especially sorry to players of a game run by a GM that uses this idea.

Key to My Magical Realm - On command, this key transports a single creature as per the spell plane shift to the demiplane of an infamous 20th level full caster who is also a Mythic tier 10 Archmage. The demiplane is known only as it's creator's "Magical Realm", it was created via three castings of the create greater demiplane spell and has been made permanent via the permanency spell. Any intelligent creature that dares to enter the "Magical Realm" can return at will by using the key but upon returning will be shaken for a number of days equal to the number of rounds spent there. A successful knowledge (planes) to learn about the Magical Realm will result in the creature making the check becoming nauseous for 1d4 rounds even if that creature is normally immune to said condition. Dare ye enter?


RedDingo wrote:

I'm very sorry to people on this board who read this and I'm especially sorry to players of a game run by a GM that uses this idea.

Key to My Magical Realm - On command, this key transports a single creature as per the spell plane shift to the demiplane of an infamous 20th level full caster who is also a Mythic tier 10 Archmage. The demiplane is known only as it's creator's "Magical Realm", it was created via three castings of the create greater demiplane spell and has been made permanent via the permanency spell. Any intelligent creature that dares to enter the "Magical Realm" can return at will by using the key but upon returning will be shaken for a number of days equal to the number of rounds spent there. A successful knowledge (planes) to learn about the Magical Realm will result in the creature making the check becoming nauseous for 1d4 rounds even if that creature is normally immune to said condition. Dare ye enter?

You can't even tell us why the place sickens anyone who visits. What sexual and or violent horrors await there?

Dark Archive

IN honor of the old looney tunes. Dried water pellets just add water to rehydrate.


Each pellet takes one drop of water and yields a gallon of water. There are 100 pellets in a pouch. I pity the fool who pours water into a full pouch. :)


The Vessel of Eternal Spirits
Immortal creatures normally immune to the effects of alcohol can get drunk when drinking from this ornate stein.

The Emperor's New Clothes
A suspiciously common flaw in cursed items resulting from attempts to create items of invisibility, when activated these garments become invisible to everyone but the wearer. The wearer sees him or herself as having successfully become invisible, but in fact, is not.

The Ring of Negative Three Wishes
As a wing of three wishes, but attempts to grant the exact opposite of what the wisher asks for. The magical power interprets what the opposite of something somewhat randomly, as the same wish may not receive the same opposite twice. Generally, something happens that is proportional and directly counter to the wish.
Note: This may be useful to clever sorts that know the ring's nature.

The Cutting Board
This plank of wood functions perfectly well as a normal longsword. It does not detect as magical at all.

A Kazoo
It's a plastic kazoo in a medieval fantasy setting. That's all.


The Muffin Of Doom:

When consumed, the eaters gravity reverses for 1d3+1 hours.

The GM actually tried to give me that as a cursed item with the hope I'd eat it in a field. After I convinced him that I could gain the effect for a smaller duration by consuming small parts of it, I abused anti gravity for ages.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ring of Indivisibility

Spoiler:
The wearer of this ring cannot have body parts severed. In the normal course of play this is very rarely applicable, but it does make eg. casting skin send impossible and protects from vorpal effects.


Goth Guru wrote:
You can't even tell us why the place sickens anyone who visits. What sexual and or violent horrors await there?

I'd like to think the details are left up the GM. I could give an example involve an Otyugh, a pair of leather gloves, and a gallon of butter, but we'd be treading into FATAL territory from there.


Cursed Tool Kit.
This box with a handle contains all the crafting tools you would need. Unfortunately, any magic item produced becomes the appropriate cursed item. Trans gender nobles will contact you discreetly. Barbarians will commission you to make a sword of berserking.


Magic Watering Can
This watering can makes plants watered grow at a one day per minute, for one day real time. It also ripens, wilts, and spoils at that rate. When harvested, the crops slow down to regular speed.

Magic Mining Pick
This pick lets a creature dig through rock at 10 times normal speed.

Magic Shovel
This Shovel lets a creature dig through dirt, sand, or loose rock 10 times as fast.


Trousers of unlimited riches
Once per minute, the wearer of these trousers can reach into a pocket and pull out 1 copper piece. There is no daily limit to this power, and the copper piece is real, and never vanishes.

(this may seem too good to be true, but breaking down the numbers, these pants produce less than 15G-worth of copper pieces per day, and that's if the wearer stays up for 24 hours, doing nothing but pulling out copper pieces. Make sure to constantly ask the player where they're keeping the thousands and thousands of coins, and accounting for their carrying capacity (I believe the general rule was 10 coins = 1lb), until they rage-strip)


Cuup wrote:

Trousers of unlimited riches

Once per minute, the wearer of these trousers can reach into a pocket and pull out 1 copper piece. There is no daily limit to this power, and the copper piece is real, and never vanishes.

(this may seem too good to be true, but breaking down the numbers, these pants produce less than 15G-worth of copper pieces per day, and that's if the wearer stays up for 24 hours, doing nothing but pulling out copper pieces. Make sure to constantly ask the player where they're keeping the thousands and thousands of coins, and accounting for their carrying capacity (I believe the general rule was 10 coins = 1lb), until they rage-strip)

The rogue in the party will be picking their pocket all night. :p

51 to 100 of 154 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Pathfinder / Pathfinder First Edition / Homebrew and House Rules / "Useless" magic items to give to players All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.