101 Uses for Completely Ordinary Livestock!


Scarab Sages

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Whilst reading through This Thread, I was inspired to start a list of all the creative and funny uses for the often ignored Livestock section of the rules. So let's get to it!

Some mundane things first:
1. Buy (insert cheap animal here), send down trapped haway or through trapped door, Success!

2. Use chickens or other small animals + Handle Animal (Attack Trick) to create a tiny death squad (or, at the very least, a good distraction)!

3. Tired of carrying all that loot? Donkey!
3a.Donkey over-burdened because you're just that awesome? Ox!

"Uses for completely ordinary livestock"


4. Pulling rocks out of the way of the entrance to the cave

5. Feeding a [insert monster here] to placate it.

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337. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha.

Silver Crusade

6) For Soft Cover

7) Ammunition when they die after being used as soft cover

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8) trail rations that carry themselves

9. A friend for when you're lonely...

10. Mobile Symbol of Pain/Death/etc.
11. Bargaining Chips!
12. Wedding Dowry.

Scarab Sages

To pull a cart-mounted ballista

Silver Crusade

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13. Use for shelter/warmth in lethally cold conditions.

"And I thought they smelled bad....on the outside..."

14. Got an alchemist in party? All of your pack animals and distraction pigeons have just become a deterrent against attackers.
In short- animal go boom.

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15. The Savory Donkey. Does your GM roll random encounters from the wilderness tables that go up to CR10 for your level 1 party? Buy a donkey, a bag of spice, a hammer. and an alchemical fire. Put the bag of spice on the donkey, the alchemical fire on the spice, and hit it with a hammer at first sign of an overwhelming hostile encounter. Run whichever way the fragrantly flaming donkey/BBQ doesn't.

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16. Tired of bandits hiding in a lair filled with traps, strange altars which give benefits to evil characters, pools of mysterious liquids and so forth? Send a dozen skunks in and the enemy will come to you, leaving you free to loot the lair at your leisure (best to wait overnight for the smell to dissipate in small lairs) without worry of being attacked.

17. No one wants to play a melee type and be the front line? Drive a herd of goats in front of the party and getting into melee range of the party requires opponents to waste attacks on the herd while taking ranged attacks.

18. Catapult out of stones? Bring up Bessie.

19. Wandering through an area filled with orcs and goblin raiders? Wait until nightfall, then strap Bessie with a couple of torches and send her souteast, while you travel south. Let the raiders follow the light for awhile, before they realize they're chasing a cow, and their targets have cut directly south.

Scarab Sages

20. The Easy One: Pathfinder Goblins are terrified of horses. Bring some with you if you've been sent to fight goblins.

21. Has the party been tainted with curses/wicked enchantments/malevolent possessing spirits that you're having trouble getting rid of? Try funneling it all into a handy goat by way of ritual, then making sure you never see the poor thing ever again. It worked well enough in Antiquity....

22. Buy an ordinary pig or dog and train them to hunt truffles.

23. This isn't exactly "using," nor is it "ordinary livestock," but still: Be generally nice to bats, especially if you're playing in an "Eastern European"/"Arabian"/"Chinese" setting - a savvy DM ought to reward you with good luck. By the same token, if you're playing in a "Russian" setting, and the PCs just got their very own stronghold (that treasured milestone of many campaigns) be sure to get a cat.

24. Feed bread crumbs to fish and geese for a cheap atonement spell (EXTRA CREDIT: Try making Pathfinder rules for this).

25. Buy a cow and a scroll of Flesh to Salt. Instantly break the economy.

26. Purchase a turkey, a duck, and a chicken. Kill them. Stuff the duck with chicken. Then stuff the turkey with your duck-chicken combination. This is called a turducken. Offer this to the Orcs as your rogue robs them blind with his now easy stealth and slight of hand checks.

I think chkflip has just invented a new spell. Turducken of food coma.

27. Buy a scholars outfit and a cat, talk to the cat like it can understand you, everyone will think you are a mage and the cat is your familiar, bonus points if you are a Tetori.

28. Throw anything and turtles, are they weapons or are they rations?

29. Train two ravens to fly onto your shoulder and "whisper" in your ear for a bonus on bluff checks that you know people's secrets. Wear an eyepatch for extra effect.

30. Use pigs to dispose of "evidence"

31. Telekinetic Charge does not have any limits besides "an ally." So make friends with something hilarious. I suggest a war elephant since it's livestock sort of. A brachiosaurus would be ideal if you happen to have a dinosaur farm on the side.

Launching a rabbit would also make a nice homage to monty python.

32. A Mule or Pony can carry a lot - 300lb as a heavy load. If you have a mule with bags of holding in the saddlebags you can get it to carry 3 type IV bags of holding for a total load of 4500lb.

Any shenanigans you can carry off with fly and a bag of holding are now three times as effective!

33. Any fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer knows that kittens make for great poker chips when playing with monsters...

34. be a diviner and use your "inside knowledge" to determine market trends for goats before they happen. Become really rich

35. have a ton of animals in a demiplane. open a gate over enemy army. "raining cats and dogs" comes to mind here.

36: they make great bribes in small towns.

37: they act like mirror image for a wild-shaped druid with good disguise and bluff.


38. Goats or sheep can be very tempting for long periods of time without the ability to be with a woman.

39) Strap dozens of cute baby animals to yourself as armor before engaging in battle against pesky Good types. "Nice hit paladin! You just murdered 4 kittens to bloody me!"

Scarab Sages

40. A friendly dog can serve as assistant lookout for those long night watches!

41. Use puppies as distraction to take the poisoned arrow the heroes are trying to shoot at you.

My GM in kingmaker used a wolf pup to do just that......it lured the worg out of it's cave though.

Choon wrote:
A friendly dog can serve as assistant lookout for those long night watches!

In downtime i purchased a trained watchdog for that purpose.

42. Cannon fodder against spells that target a limited number of creatures or hit-dice.
43. Trap sweeping.
44. Cronies for your Familiar to lord over.
45. Hiding your Balefully Polymorphed prisoners.
46. A bonus to your Disguise roll to pose as lifestock merchants.

Dark Archive

47. The first bison is my mount. The other fifteen are just to increase the damage when I stampede/trample you. The rhino hide cow-barding was just for amusement.

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