What do you think? I'm thinking of blowing all of his money on a specially adapted tuba that he can use as a shield. Or should I do the same thing, except with sousaphone armor?
This is not a joke. I am serious.
Could you convince your DM to let you flavor your shield as a tuba? The idea is definitely within the incredibly silly category but if that's your DM's cup of tea it wouldn't be game breaking for it to just be a shield in all but name; remember that most Bards are using Oratory/Sing/Dance and not carrying an instrument at all. You're not getting anything more than them with your more novel concept.
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Why not take Perform (percussion instruments) and wear a breastplate made from a washboard or a xylophone, a shield made from a cymbal or a gong, a helmet made from a bell and wield a cabasa or a shekere as a mace? That's an entire suit of armor and a weapon. Better yet, your armor would be made of stuff intended to be struck so you'd get to make Perform checks or use Bardic performances when people hit you.
I would imagine that you could take proficiency in a tower shield and adapt a tuba to work as both that and an instrument. That would, however, take away your weapon. Not that you could use one carrying a Cailendamn tuba around anyway.
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You could just draw a picture of a tuba on a shield and make tuba-like sounds with your mouth.
Needs more cowbell. Or an admantine vuvuzela.
The tuba was only invented in the real world less than 200 years ago, so I guess you'd need to clear with your GM it's permitted in his campaign anyways.
But if you get it and are using it as a shield, I'd expect to find it targetted with sunder attempts, leaving you without an instrument. Also a tuba weighs about 25 lbs, a strengthened one as a shield would add somewhat to that. A regular metal heavy shield in pathfinder only weighs 15 lb, so your tuba-shield would be unwieldy and have a huge armour check penalty.