When in Rome.
Anti-Paladin isn't a Demon, so it would probably not ruin your character's integrity to not kill her. You should, in character, get her to atone for her sins. Your characters are, I assume, friends, so this would be fine. Alignments shouldn't be so binding. Personal quandaries can occasionally force a person to make acceptions to their normal reactions to situations.
Let me see if I understand the situation. You and GF are playing lawful types and then she goes all chaotic with no explanation. You need a way to get along with her even though it seems like a 180 for her character. You have already rejected the solution of PvP because even though it is the most likely outcome because it will cause out of game problems. So you need a way for your demon-slayer to get along with an Antipaladin. How about roleplaying your character as truly worried for his friend? I can see you trying to sneak around and acquire a helm of opposite alignment or some such while treating the Antipaldin as a good friend who is mentally ill. Drastic alignment shifts are rare and if she won't tell you whats up then it is possible events beyond her control are at play here and she is being a good roleplayer.
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I strongly get the sense we're missing important details here. Any chance of an elaboration, OP? Maybe a 'train of circumstances' to help us get into the mind of the character a bit more?
Making a dark pact because of a bad weeks seems to be a serious overreaction to...something. The question is, what?
It sounds like your GM has no problem with evil characters if they temped someone to evil, let them fall, and then keep the character. If you don't want to have conflict then play another game. If the GM set up a situation where the PCs are not cool with each other and is offering no way out then they are probably totally cool with PvP character conflict as a GM. If you don't want to fight her and you don't want to go evil yourself and you don't want to try to make her good again against her will then I suggest talking to the GM about it and seeing if maybe there is some other solution. Be aware that the best solution may be PvP conflict or to simply stop playing in a game you are uncomfortable in.
If she worships Lamashtu, she's literally insane as Lamashtu is the goddess of monstrosity and madness. Since your character likely will not (or cannot) kill her out of mercy, I think the best course of action is to stick with her in order to thwart her acts of evil and patiently wait for an opportunity to bring her back from the madness.
Though honestly, if I GM'd this, I'd make her roll up a new character and use the anti-paladin as the campaign's new villain. This makes the campaign take a dramatic turn without having to railroad PCs into allying with evil.
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This is really simple. Take your gf onto Jerry Springer and have the audience guilt her into turning her character back to LG. Play up the sob story, cry on the air. Whatever it takes.
Seriously though, the reality is depending on what kind of goals your group has will probably determine how quickly your character and your gf's character will come to blows. This does not sound like a good vs. evil scenario since you are LN, but more like a law vs chaos issue. Also, how opposed is your LN deity (not sure you mentioned who that is) to Lamashtu? Chances are, quite a bit.
As I see it, you have 2 options. Option A is that you make an out of character decision to change your character for the good of the group of players. Option B is she makes an out of character decision to change her character. Granted, some groups could make compelling role play out of this situation, however, most groups just have in-fighitng and PVP a lot of times. This could get messy for you my friend. How does the rest of the group feel about this?
It depends on how the new antipaladin acts.
Ive seen antipaladins who go "You might not like my methods, but they are effective, just ask the demons".
And ive seen antipaladins who go "My foot was here first, the newborn baby had no business geting in its way!"
Yeah, just remember, sometimes when dealing with alignments, the means are judged as closely as the ends. The anti-paladin may be killing demons left and right, but if she collapses a bridge ontop of 10 innocents to kill 1 demon, you could have a problem.
Of course this all arbitrated by a GM.
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^ true enough. Still, come to the dark side... we have cookies.
Come to the darkside...come join the League of the Wicked. As Darien said, we have cookies!
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Whelp lemme tell you, the first thing to do is ask your girlfriend if she's ok with inter-character conflict. The second thing to do is discuss with her how that might play out in game and whether either of you are comfortable with the idea of a character being retired... The third thing for you to do is to stop asking the Paizo forums for relationship advice.
Another option, join her and yall convert the campaign to Way of the Wicked campaign.
All chaotic alignments are banned from WotW, so the group would then have to adopt the suggested house rule to let antipaladins be NE or even LE, and she would have to change her alignment accordingly.
LE anti-paladin of Asmodeous, only way to go.
LE anti-paladin of Asmodeous, only way to go.
not only way, could also go LE Anti-paly of Lamashtu.
How does your character know that hers became an Antipaladin?
Did she come out of the pits screaming "All hail Lamashtu! I embrace EEEeeeevillll!" I mean, a big part of being an Antipaladin is hiding who you are to sow chaos, discord, and fear. You already (somehow) presumably know she is a fallen Paladin, but it's a big leap to your next assumption.
If you are just metagaming the future conflict, just have your character be in denial about the obvious steps she is taking down a dark path. Happens all the time.