For a long time, whenever I see the word "barbarian" I cant help to think "Barbie". So I feel like making a valley-girl barbarian. Think lumpy space princess as a barbarian. And I want her to be the meanest, toughest possible barbarian.
The basic chassis is simple; using "AndIMustAsk"'s super-barbarian chassis. Now what I'm looking for:
Fitting items for a valleygirl
Fitting manerisms
Fitting methods of behavior/skill choices.
Beyond "Oh ma gad, I am SOOO totally gonna smash your face in" I havent thought very far.
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Always use the rising inflection at the end of a sentence even a declaratory statement. Don't forget to use emphasis in all your statements. Be very concerned with style over substance. Never get the geography right unless it is your home territory.
Worry about your nails hair and best clothing. If you have an animal companion make sure it is small, well groomed and appears useless even if it is a cross between a piranha and Pomeranian.
Don't forget to use, 'Like', 'fur shure', and 'shut up' as a place holder in conversation or an exclamation. Study the Valley Girl speech patterns. Watch 'Clueless' and 'Valley Girl'. For bonus points throw in a little Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan immoral/selfish behavior.
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Always use the rising inflection at the end of a sentence even a declaratory statement. Don't forget to use emphasis in all your statements. Be very concerned with style over substance. Never get the geography right unless it is your home territory.
Worry about your nails hair and best clothing. If you have an animal companion make sure it is small, well groomed and appears useless even if it is a cross between a piranha and Pomeranian.
Don't forget to use, 'Like', 'fur shure', and 'shut up' as a place holder in conversation or an exclamation. Study the Valley Girl speech patterns. Watch 'Clueless' and 'Valley Girl'. For bonus points throw in a little Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan immoral/selfish behavior.
...nails...nails....
Half-orc valley girl barbarian that uses bite/claw/claw through beast totem and always worries about breaking a nail?
Great, now I am thinking of half-orc guys as 'bros'.
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"Like, do you SEEE my claws!? They are like SOOO well done. And I've got the BEST teeth."
I would probably make her human to be honest.
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On items: Jewelry is wonderful, and both thematic and effective, as is clothing. Make sure to comment on how awesome your new Belt of Giant Strength (or whatever) looks like on you. Just make sure everything is stylish. Heavy armor is a little out-of-genre, but you might be able to figure something out.
On mannerisms: Depends a lot on whether she's actually dumb, or just kinda ditzy. There's a distinct difference.
Skill Choices: Diplomacy, Intimidate, and Knowledge (Nobility) or Knowledge (Local) are good choices thematically, and I thus recommend the Affable Trait to make both Diplomacy and Knowledge (Local) class skills, and gives a bonus to both for information gathering (she can, like, totally gossip).
Since you're grabbing Superstition, making her actively contemptuous of magic ("Don't nerds use that? It's so totally not my scene.") is solid, and flavoring her Beast Totem claws as ridiculously well-manicured nails is a must.
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AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN," BUT AM OTHER BARBARIAN, AND BARBARIAN AM HATE BE SAW AS "MANLY-MAN" ONLY.
AM NOT SMART, BUT AM KNOW BARBARIAN AM NOT MAKE MORE BARBARIAN WITHOUT GIRL BARBARIANS. BARBARIAN AM HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY LIKE NOT-BARBARIANS, AM NOT KNOW WHY NOT-BARBARIANS AND TALKY-MEN AM THINK BARBARIAN AM NOT HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY; AM MAKE BARBARIAN ANGRY! AM SMASH!
AM THINK IF BARBARIAN AM MEET GIRL-BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM NOT REAL BARBARIAN. AND IF NOT REAL BARBARIAN, BARBARIAN AM SMASH NOT-BARBARIAN FOR MAKE FUN OF BARBARIANS!
BUT AM JUST BARBARIAN "OH-PIN-YUN." IF AM NOT LIKE, BARBARIAN AM "UHN-DUR-STEAHND."
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Make sure she refers to her Gucci boots, belts, sheathes, and shoulder bags. Everything she cares about is brand name. Same with her horse ride a nag? Oh no, she needs a purebred "Bakhariot Stallion'. With matching bit, bridle, and saddle.
Oh, might consider 'rich parents' if it is allowed. Maybe set of parents who doted on her spoiled her rotten.
AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN," BUT AM OTHER BARBARIAN, AND BARBARIAN AM HATE BE SAW AS "MANLY-MAN" ONLY.
AM NOT SMART, BUT AM KNOW BARBARIAN AM NOT MAKE MORE BARBARIAN WITHOUT GIRL BARBARIANS. BARBARIAN AM HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY LIKE NOT-BARBARIANS, AM NOT KNOW WHY NOT-BARBARIANS AND TALKY-MEN AM THINK BARBARIAN AM NOT HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY; AM MAKE BARBARIAN ANGRY! AM SMASH!
AM THINK IF BARBARIAN AM MEET GIRL-BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM NOT REAL BARBARIAN. AND IF NOT REAL BARBARIAN, BARBARIAN AM SMASH NOT-BARBARIAN FOR MAKE FUN OF BARBARIANS!
BUT AM JUST BARBARIAN "OH-PIN-YUN." IF AM NOT LIKE, BARBARIAN AM "UHN-DUR-STEAHND."
TOTALLY!
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AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN," BUT AM OTHER BARBARIAN, AND BARBARIAN AM HATE BE SAW AS "MANLY-MAN" ONLY.
AM NOT SMART, BUT AM KNOW BARBARIAN AM NOT MAKE MORE BARBARIAN WITHOUT GIRL BARBARIANS. BARBARIAN AM HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY LIKE NOT-BARBARIANS, AM NOT KNOW WHY NOT-BARBARIANS AND TALKY-MEN AM THINK BARBARIAN AM NOT HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY; AM MAKE BARBARIAN ANGRY! AM SMASH!
AM THINK IF BARBARIAN AM MEET GIRL-BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM NOT REAL BARBARIAN. AND IF NOT REAL BARBARIAN, BARBARIAN AM SMASH NOT-BARBARIAN FOR MAKE FUN OF BARBARIANS!
BUT AM JUST BARBARIAN "OH-PIN-YUN." IF AM NOT LIKE, BARBARIAN AM "UHN-DUR-STEAHND."
SHUT UUUP! LIKE, OH, MA GAD. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT!? DO YOU NOT, LIKE, HAVE ANY SENSE!? NO MATTER HOW I TALK I AM, LIKE, THE HOTTEST!? YOU SHOULD, LIKE, TOTALLY WORSHIP ME, FUR SHURE!
SHUT UUUP! LIKE, OH, MA GAD. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT!? DO YOU NOT, LIKE, HAVE ANY SENSE!? NO MATTER HOW I TALK I AM, LIKE, THE HOTTEST!? YOU SHOULD, LIKE, TOTALLY WORSHIP ME, FUR SHURE!AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN," BUT AM OTHER BARBARIAN, AND BARBARIAN AM HATE BE SAW AS "MANLY-MAN" ONLY.
AM NOT SMART, BUT AM KNOW BARBARIAN AM NOT MAKE MORE BARBARIAN WITHOUT GIRL BARBARIANS. BARBARIAN AM HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY LIKE NOT-BARBARIANS, AM NOT KNOW WHY NOT-BARBARIANS AND TALKY-MEN AM THINK BARBARIAN AM NOT HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY; AM MAKE BARBARIAN ANGRY! AM SMASH!
AM THINK IF BARBARIAN AM MEET GIRL-BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM NOT REAL BARBARIAN. AND IF NOT REAL BARBARIAN, BARBARIAN AM SMASH NOT-BARBARIAN FOR MAKE FUN OF BARBARIANS!
BUT AM JUST BARBARIAN "OH-PIN-YUN." IF AM NOT LIKE, BARBARIAN AM "UHN-DUR-STEAHND."
GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LOUD, BUT NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. BARBARIAN AM LOUD, BUT AM TALK SMASH. AM TALK MUCH SMASH. AM NOT KNOW IF GIRL-BARBARIAN AM REAL BARBARIAN IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK MUCH SMASH.
AM BARBARIAN, AM MUCH SMASH. AM SMASH MOST, MORE THAN ALL BARBARIANS AND NOT-BARBARIANS. AM SMASH GIRL-BARBARIAN LIKE BARBARIAN AM SMASH ALL CASTIES, AND BARBARIAN AM SHOW ALL HOW BARBARIAN AM BEST SMASH.
SHUT UUUP! LIKE, OH, MA GAD. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT!? DO YOU NOT, LIKE, HAVE ANY SENSE!? NO MATTER HOW I TALK I AM, LIKE, THE HOTTEST!? YOU SHOULD, LIKE, TOTALLY WORSHIP ME, FUR SHURE!AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN," BUT AM OTHER BARBARIAN, AND BARBARIAN AM HATE BE SAW AS "MANLY-MAN" ONLY.
AM NOT SMART, BUT AM KNOW BARBARIAN AM NOT MAKE MORE BARBARIAN WITHOUT GIRL BARBARIANS. BARBARIAN AM HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY LIKE NOT-BARBARIANS, AM NOT KNOW WHY NOT-BARBARIANS AND TALKY-MEN AM THINK BARBARIAN AM NOT HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY; AM MAKE BARBARIAN ANGRY! AM SMASH!
AM THINK IF BARBARIAN AM MEET GIRL-BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM NOT REAL BARBARIAN. AND IF NOT REAL BARBARIAN, BARBARIAN AM SMASH NOT-BARBARIAN FOR MAKE FUN OF BARBARIANS!
BUT AM JUST BARBARIAN "OH-PIN-YUN." IF AM NOT LIKE, BARBARIAN AM "UHN-DUR-STEAHND."
GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LOUD, BUT NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. BARBARIAN AM LOUD, BUT AM TALK SMASH. AM TALK MUCH SMASH. AM NOT KNOW IF GIRL-BARBARIAN AM REAL BARBARIAN IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK MUCH SMASH.
AM BARBARIAN, AM MUCH SMASH. AM SMASH MOST, MORE THAN ALL BARBARIANS AND NOT-BARBARIANS. AM SMASH GIRL-BARBARIAN LIKE BARBARIAN AM SMASH ALL CASTIES, AND BARBARIAN AM SHOW ALL HOW BARBARIAN AM BEST SMASH.
REALLY!? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SMASH ME!? I AM SOOO TOTALLY GOING TO SCRATCH YOU UP! YOU BETTER HOPE I DONT BREAK A NAIL, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BECOME REALLY MAD!?
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Oh, what a day to leave my earplugs at home.
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She needs the rage power that lets you use skill checks while raging. Barbie totally needs to be able to answer questions about whatever comes up while bashing skulls.
Honestly, I dont think there are any skills usable by a stereotypical valley girl that arent usable in the mindlessness of a rage.
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I like to think of this but with more smash (having a bow isn't a bad idea though.)
That just makes me think of a valley girl monk or ninja.
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She needs the rage power that lets you use skill checks while raging. Barbie totally needs to be able to answer questions about whatever comes up while bashing skulls.Honestly, I dont think there are any skills usable by a stereotypical valley girl that arent usable in the mindlessness of a rage.
My brain was more on the Barbie part of the valley girl and how she has had so many different professions through the toy run. Also how hysterical it would be to watch the valley girl raging then stop to sight scholarly journals on aberrations or fey and go back to raging.
REALLY!? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SMASH ME!? I AM SOOO TOTALLY GOING TO SCRATCH YOU UP! YOU BETTER HOPE I DONT BREAK A NAIL, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BECOME REALLY MAD!?SHUT UUUP! LIKE, OH, MA GAD. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT!? DO YOU NOT, LIKE, HAVE ANY SENSE!? NO MATTER HOW I TALK I AM, LIKE, THE HOTTEST!? YOU SHOULD, LIKE, TOTALLY WORSHIP ME, FUR SHURE!AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN," BUT AM OTHER BARBARIAN, AND BARBARIAN AM HATE BE SAW AS "MANLY-MAN" ONLY.
AM NOT SMART, BUT AM KNOW BARBARIAN AM NOT MAKE MORE BARBARIAN WITHOUT GIRL BARBARIANS. BARBARIAN AM HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY LIKE NOT-BARBARIANS, AM NOT KNOW WHY NOT-BARBARIANS AND TALKY-MEN AM THINK BARBARIAN AM NOT HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY; AM MAKE BARBARIAN ANGRY! AM SMASH!
AM THINK IF BARBARIAN AM MEET GIRL-BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM NOT REAL BARBARIAN. AND IF NOT REAL BARBARIAN, BARBARIAN AM SMASH NOT-BARBARIAN FOR MAKE FUN OF BARBARIANS!
BUT AM JUST BARBARIAN "OH-PIN-YUN." IF AM NOT LIKE, BARBARIAN AM "UHN-DUR-STEAHND."
GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LOUD, BUT NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. BARBARIAN AM LOUD, BUT AM TALK SMASH. AM TALK MUCH SMASH. AM NOT KNOW IF GIRL-BARBARIAN AM REAL BARBARIAN IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK MUCH SMASH.
AM BARBARIAN, AM MUCH SMASH. AM SMASH MOST, MORE THAN ALL BARBARIANS AND NOT-BARBARIANS. AM SMASH GIRL-BARBARIAN LIKE BARBARIAN AM SMASH ALL CASTIES, AND BARBARIAN AM SHOW ALL HOW BARBARIAN AM BEST SMASH.
BARBARIAN AM LAUGH AT GIRL-BARBARIAN. AM BARBARIAN, AM CAN SMASH ALL. EVEN OTHER BARBARIAN, OR "AM BARBARIAN." AM NOT NEED THINK, AM JUST SMASH.
BARBARIAN AM SCRATCH TOO, BUT AM LAUGH AT GIRL-BARBARIAN SCRATCH. GIRL-BARBARIAN AM FIGHT LIKE KITTY CAT. BARBARIAN ALSO KNOW AM CAN'T BREAK NAIL, BUT AM LAUGH AT GIRL-BARBARIAN FOR NOT KNOW THAT. AM THINK BARBARIAN AM SMARTER THAN GIRL-BARBARIAN.
GIRL-BARBARIAN STILL NOT TALK LIKE REAL BARBARIAN. AM THINK GIRL-BARBARIAN AM NOT-BARBARIAN, AND NOT-BARBARIANS AM NOT GOOD AT SMASH BARBARIANS.
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You know... The rage works really well. Have you ever seen what happens when you piss a valley-girl off? They go from Alicia Silverstone to Large Marge in the blink of an eye, and really do just about grow claws and start tearing flesh off people. I can really see this. She has GOT to have rage issues. Like maybe she's been sent to anger management classes a couple times, or got booted from the family because of an 'incident' and that's why she's adventuring now? Just spitballing backstory ideas here...
Oh my god.. The taverns! "WOOOOOO PARTAY!" And off she goes to blow the entire party's money on booze, illicit drugs, and high-priced clothing.
Oh my god.. The taverns! "WOOOOOO PARTAY!" And off she goes to blow the entire party's money on booze, illicit drugs, and high-priced clothing.
OH, MA GAD! YOU SO TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ME! NOT LIKE BIG STINKY AM GUY!?
REALLY!? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SMASH ME!? I AM SOOO TOTALLY GOING TO SCRATCH YOU UP! YOU BETTER HOPE I DONT BREAK A NAIL, BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BECOME REALLY MAD!?SHUT UUUP! LIKE, OH, MA GAD. WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT!? DO YOU NOT, LIKE, HAVE ANY SENSE!? NO MATTER HOW I TALK I AM, LIKE, THE HOTTEST!? YOU SHOULD, LIKE, TOTALLY WORSHIP ME, FUR SHURE!AM NOT "AM BARBARIAN," BUT AM OTHER BARBARIAN, AND BARBARIAN AM HATE BE SAW AS "MANLY-MAN" ONLY.
AM NOT SMART, BUT AM KNOW BARBARIAN AM NOT MAKE MORE BARBARIAN WITHOUT GIRL BARBARIANS. BARBARIAN AM HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY LIKE NOT-BARBARIANS, AM NOT KNOW WHY NOT-BARBARIANS AND TALKY-MEN AM THINK BARBARIAN AM NOT HAVE MOMMY AND DADDY; AM MAKE BARBARIAN ANGRY! AM SMASH!
AM THINK IF BARBARIAN AM MEET GIRL-BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN, GIRL-BARBARIAN AM NOT REAL BARBARIAN. AND IF NOT REAL BARBARIAN, BARBARIAN AM SMASH NOT-BARBARIAN FOR MAKE FUN OF BARBARIANS!
BUT AM JUST BARBARIAN "OH-PIN-YUN." IF AM NOT LIKE, BARBARIAN AM "UHN-DUR-STEAHND."
GIRL-BARBARIAN AM TALK LOUD, BUT NOT TALK LIKE BARBARIAN TALK. BARBARIAN AM LOUD, BUT AM TALK SMASH. AM TALK MUCH SMASH. AM NOT KNOW IF GIRL-BARBARIAN AM REAL BARBARIAN IF GIRL-BARBARIAN NOT TALK MUCH SMASH.
AM BARBARIAN, AM MUCH SMASH. AM SMASH MOST, MORE THAN ALL BARBARIANS AND NOT-BARBARIANS. AM SMASH GIRL-BARBARIAN LIKE BARBARIAN AM SMASH ALL CASTIES, AND BARBARIAN AM SHOW ALL HOW BARBARIAN AM BEST SMASH.
BARBARIAN AM LAUGH AT GIRL-BARBARIAN. AM BARBARIAN, AM CAN SMASH ALL. EVEN OTHER BARBARIAN, OR "AM BARBARIAN." AM NOT NEED THINK, AM JUST SMASH.
BARBARIAN AM SCRATCH TOO, BUT AM LAUGH AT GIRL-BARBARIAN SCRATCH. GIRL-BARBARIAN AM FIGHT LIKE KITTY CAT. BARBARIAN ALSO KNOW AM CAN'T BREAK NAIL, BUT AM LAUGH AT GIRL-BARBARIAN FOR NOT KNOW THAT....
Careful AM OTHER. Her boyfriend is definitely the captain of the football (murder ball?) team. Next thing you know you'll be head first down a privy with something rude being tattooed on your butt.
Read Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson.
Swords[l]person[/i]? Oh no, Barbie, Birnbaum is not some generic gender neutral commoner. Barbie is a swordswoman (with a dazzling manicure and a nose job daddy got her for her sweet-sixteen).
Read Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson.Swords[l]person[/i]? Oh no, Barbie, Birnbaum is not some generic gender neutral commoner. Barbie is a swordswoman (with a dazzling manicure and a nose job daddy got her for her sweet-sixteen).
I NEVER HAD A NOSEJOB! THIS HOTNESS IS ALL NATURAL, FUR SHURE!
Yes, backstory is key here, and there are tons of ways to go with it.
I like Fafhrdnoresman's idea about rage being her main problem. She could have been the daughter of a wealthy merchant, living comfortably in a safe city, and sure to eventually marry well and live a life of coddled comfort.
Her raging temper somehow makes her prospects dwindle until no one really trusts her. She then discovers that rage can work to her advantage in the right context, so she goes off to find her fortune on her own.
Most barbs dump cha. Barbie shouldn't. She's not crude or ugly, and is personable enough at first glance. Maybe dump int to reflect that she didn't need to learn a lot of skills, since everything was done by servants when she was growing up. She loafed in school, and isn't particularly learned for her station.
Can't cook, hates to clean, etc.
All her stuff will be masterwork, as soon as she can afford it. She might wear a mace for a back up weapon when her fancy greatsword isn't ideal, and that mace must look good with her ensemble.
On days off, she wants to party at the best places she can get into, and she'll buy the nicest clothes she can find. She's certain to make a splash, particularly if someone ticks her off!
Just scratching the surface. "Barbierian" has a lot of potential to be a very amusing character.
I NEVER HAD A NOSEJOB! THIS HOTNESS IS ALL NATURAL, FUR SHURE!
Oh, absolutely, like totally, natural. And that nice gnome girl (Mariella? Whatever she answers to Mariella) did a b#*&#in' job on the manicure.
AM NOT AFRAID OF BALL-MAN. BALL-MAN AM NOT BARBARIAN. BALL-MAN AM NOT-BARBARIAN. NOT-BARBARIAN AM NOT GOOD AGAINST BARBARIAN. AM SMASH BALL-MAN LIKE PANCAKE.
AM JUST ATE CASTY. TASTE LIKE CHICKEN. AM THINK GIRL-BARBARIAN AND BALL-MAN TASTE LIKE CASTY, AS GIRL-BARBARIAN AND BALL-MAN AM NOT BARBARIANS. AM NOT-BARBARIANS, AND BARBARIAN AM SMASH NOT-BARBARIANS.
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You want the Extremely Fashionable trait.
For language, try ValSpeak. Put in normal text, select ValSpeak, and run. Now you can speak, like, ya know, a real chick.
There are plenty of ValSpeak translators out there, this was just the first I found.
/cevah
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Could listen to Frank Zappa's Valley Girl for inspiration
Maybe give the barbarian the spirit totem line and a charisma of not suck. After all why should she have to do all the work in killing. For archetypes maybe an armored hulk. The most fashionable of all armor is plate, masterwork can be designed to have curves where she normally might not have them. Or half plate, while plate is far superior, half plate could take advantage of the +0 dex mod she might have.
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Always use the rising inflection at the end of a sentence even a declaratory statement. Don't forget to use emphasis in all your statements. Be very concerned with style over substance. Never get the geography right unless it is your home territory.
Worry about your nails hair and best clothing. If you have an animal companion make sure it is small, well groomed and appears useless even if it is a cross between a piranha and Pomeranian.
Don't forget to use, 'Like', 'fur shure', and 'shut up' as a place holder in conversation or an exclamation. Study the Valley Girl speech patterns. Watch 'Clueless' and 'Valley Girl'. For bonus points throw in a little Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan immoral/selfish behavior.
...nails...nails....
Half-orc valley girl barbarian that uses bite/claw/claw through beast totem and always worries about breaking a nail?
Great, now I am thinking of half-orc guys as 'bros'.
Totally misread that as breast totem at first.
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I refer you to the wiki entry for dear Maureen, as well as the cover art.
Upon viewing the cover, I suggest you watch this brief film on why female armor sucks.
From the Wiki, if you hate links.
Maureen Birnbaum, Barbarian Swordsperson is a 1993 anthology by George Alec Effinger, with cover and interior illustrations by Ken Kelly. They collect all of his stories about Maureen 'Muffy' Birnbaum, a Jewish American Princess who is magically teleported to various fantasy and science fiction universes, and later recounts the tales to her best friend, 'Bitsy' Spiegelman. Originally written on his own initiative, the character proved popular enough for Effinger to gain several requests from authors to have versions of their work visited by Muffy.
In addition to satirizing and spoofing the various stories, they had a feminist undertone, as Maureen dealt with the often sexist reactions of the inhabitants of the worlds she met, struggled to find the Martian prince she had fallen in love with, and contrasted her adventures with Bitsy, a housewife with an increasingly unhappy marriage.
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(Holding up new handbag) "Ya, so like, the guy who MADE this stuff? He's like, TOTALLY a wizard. (And he had like the cutest name EVER! He's like, Vesucchi, or Versache, or something?) Anyway I'm, like, wow! Of course I totally buy the purse, right? I mean, duh, who wouldn't! And it turns out I can fit, like, TONS of stuff in here. I think it's like, magic or something."
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I think urban barbarian is a must for the skills. Also as a Barbie barbarian you should never need more protection than a chain-mail bikini would provide (I believe it falls into the light armor category).
I think urban barbarian is a must for the skills. Also as a Barbie barbarian you should never need more protection than a chain-mail bikini would provide (I believe it falls into the light armor category).
Or well styled reptile skin armor (you know reptile skin is so totally not like fur, fur is murder but not if it died you know, like organtically or if it goes with anything you're wearing. Then leather and fur are okay. Fur sure).
Don't forget to watch Flash Gordon.
Don't forget to watch Flash Gordon.
I think I'd rather watch Flesh Gordon (link SFW)
I was speaking with someone, and she stated that Barbie has outfits for every occasion and profession. The Idea of a quick-change artist came up, then I thought of the Bardarian multiclass. Bards are great imposters, and could pull off various attires easily. A bard is also a very social character.
/cevah
Glamered armor enchantment as soon as you can afford it. Wear your heavy plate and make it look like "Oh ma Gawd, GORGEOUS! And you like, totally, never have to worry about wearing last seasons fashion! WIN!"
Also, remember to spell words in your statements for no apparent reason. "That O-R-C tote's tried to attack me! How Adobe's!!"