Your Favorite DnD / Pathfinder Jokes


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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I'm rather pleased with this one I thought up a while back:

Q: Why can't gargoyles get no respect?
A: Because they're always taken for granite.


More in the vein of game specific or "you had to be there", but:

Played in a game with a really good actor type player. He had built a supposedly epic archer. We'd just gotten to the first major encounter of the campaign, where we were confronting the BBEG as he revealed himself and his evil machinations to the capitol city. The archer gave this huge dramatic speech denouncing the BBEG and vowing to take him down with a single well placed arrow and a lot of flash. Player proceeds to roll a 3, and misses. Not to be dissuaded, archer rolls with it and makes more dire pronouncements. Another 3. Several rounds of this repeat with incrementally diminishing speeches. 3's every single time; we lost track of how many.
From that night onward, any time any player, in any game, with any character, for any roll comes up with a three "an arrow falls out of nowhere . . . ." "D**NIT!!"

********
Different crew, fun player, but not usually as solid of a story teller/actor. This guy always plays some type of "classic" fighter type, short on skills and wits. He decides to try a little bit of in character acting though. We've just wrapped up a fight, and some small kobold is left alive for questioning. The fighter runs up and grabs the kobold by the throat, starts shaking him, and says "All right, talk dang it! You're going to tell us what you know!"
Kobold babbles incoherently in terror. Fighter again says something to the effect of "Talk! Quit holding out!"
The player is having a good time flexing a rarely used acting muscle, and everyone is giving him a chance. After several iterations of this though, we're getting nowhere. Finally my character (a paladin under a one pass per day vow of silence) chimes in, "Why don't you ask him a question?" . . . .
Fighter/player both cock their head sideways to look at me, ". . .Oh yeah!" Ridiculous levels of giggling ensued.

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