The answers to your questions are ...

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1) Poog once saw guy called Mizter Slave make blonde bimbo disappear by erm.... -lowering himself onto her-, starting with head, that truly be best way to make bimbo ladies vanish?

2) Poog be shanking unsuspecting deers while traveling, why me called criminal against nature? Me only kill 3, troll friends kill 12 already, forest keeper included?

3) (throws up), why?? :(

Next pozter, here're your two-erm, three new answers.

A) Thaco is coming to pathfinder 2.0.
B) Quickly, we must aid Corak the Mysterious!
C) Mein kopf macht schmerz. >_>

Scarab Sages

A. Alright, I'm getting near the breaking point; prove to me beyond all reasonable doubt that it's time for me to ditch Paizo once and for all.
B. DAMMIT, has Sheltem stopped taking his anti-malware updates again?!?
C. Haben Sie Rammstein gehört, während Sie Panzerschokolade gegessen haben?

Dear following poster,
The answers to your most pressing question next two questions next three questions next four questions amongst the myriad questions you no doubt have are as follows:

१. If I could walk THAT way, I wouldn't need aftershave!
२. ...Gonna need a bigger bottle for that.
३. Now, I eat the banana!
४. Women, children, Red Indians, spacemen, and a sort of idealized version of complete Renaissance Men first!
५. RIGHT! Stop it! It's all got TOO SILLY!

१. Sorry sir, why did you want to walk down Axe-tershave boulevard?
२. Sir, sorry to bother you, but, what if the shark won't be caught using that bottle?
३. Right, you so provoked the guy wielding a banana. You shot him for coming at you with it.... now what?
४. What's the latest selection of loyal customer gifts, on a membership on 'book of the month club'?
५. Military fairy, ooh!

Next poster, here are our answers.

1) Hearing Rammstein, while eating some serious chocolate.
2) People say it was Bill Clinton, but we all know it was Beyonce.
3) Holy fcknuggets! Get out of here!

1: What is it like being a heavy metal singer pre-menstrual?

2: Who was the first black leader of the United States?

3: :Adam West voice: Well, my young ward, it appears that we are about to be sexually violated by animate elements of McDonald's Value Menu...

So many answers:

1: Well, if Batman devoted his billions to urban renewal instead of billion of dollars worth of bat-themed technology for his "brutalizing the mentally infirm" hobby, life in Gotham might actually improve.

2: He has kept a rotating harem of well-toned young men at his stately manor for years. Let's not forget how he chooses boys who resemble him either.

3: Because if one rogue cop put a bullet between the Joker's eyes... something... bad... would happen?

1) Please, tell me what would really, really, really piss Frank Miller off.
2) What makes you think that Barney the Dinosaur swings that way?
3) Why won't you play 'snap' with Lt. Callahan any more?

Khajit has answers if you have coin.

1) Try rubbing it on the warts.
2) Hammer garlic through its heart.
3) One for sorrow, two for joy!

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

A. What am I supposed to do with an antimatter-toad???
B. What's the first line of the Romanian equivalent to the "Old MacDonald" song?
C. What are you doing with *three* full bottles of Everclear?

Question me these answers three,
if e'er the other side you'll see:

α. Well, we could tone down this military-industrial jag everyone's been forcing him onto and move him closer back to his Zorro-like roots....

β. It's not the perfume that you wear. It's not the ribbons in your hair....

γ. Ms. Fairchild, the Pentagon is very interested in this "Boomerang-Zoomerang-Toomerang" of yours....

α. Mister Banderas' been so seriou-sss lately, can't we unwind him in some way?

β. I had a man with an identity crisis at my practice last week. All dolled up. He couldn't imagine why his girlfriend stood up and left in the restaurant. What would be the most subtle way to put the reason to him/her?

γ. The most explosive vorpal boomerang has been invented, and we're looking for a sponsor.

Next poster, hereby your answers.

1) Well, that happens when Wendy stuffs Ronald's rek-tum with his own greasy burgers, feeding Chuck-E's dead body to the animal shelter, and plucking Colonel Sanders clean before tossing him into the frying fat for a good hour.

2) Contrary to the general belief, the moon landing was a fake.
Space may be the final frontier, but it's made in a Hollywood basement.

3) The only way to defeat the megadragon is to alter the timeline.

Sovereign Court

1. I hear that every once in a while, something called the "Fast Food Wars" takes place and it's really intense. What's all that about?

2. Please just tell me why you have you got Sir Patrick Stewart and Buzz Aldrin tied up in your lab, ready to be sent to GoatToucher's workroom?

3. Seriously?! You're enchanting your dead grandmother's antique hourglass at a time like this?! We've got a draconic overlord to deal with, what gives?!

Here are the answers:

1. Wooloo fanart will NEVER go away or be outdated!

2. That's what I get for booking a room in a haunted hotel!

3. Sir, your wife has just sat down in my ice cream. Please stop laughing and help her.

Scarab Sages

1. I'm desperately looking for a stable investment, but these days, not even gold can be trusted. Isn't there anything better?

2. Honey, remember last night when I broke out my travel-sized pottery-wheel? Oh god, that was wonderful...but that *was* you, right???

3. Say, little Nephew-of-mine, do you know how to make antifreeze (hyuk, hyuk, hyuk...)?

You've got questions. I've got answers:

하나. "THE" Poog of Zarongel in an after-school special.

둘. KahnyaGnorc in an animated sci-fan anthology.

셋. Billy Mays_ in a Kurosawa film.

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