Your answers are:1. The old man down the road.
2. Strawberry fields forever.
3. It was the heat of the moment.
1: All my windows are broken, there's a dead skunk in my living room, my house pets have been sexually violated, and my garage is on fire! Who's responsible for this?
2: We can tell you your porn name based on your music interests! Take this quiz to find out!3: What in heaven's name made you tell the old man that -I- was the one who has been stealing his newspaper?
Answers:
1: Y'all gonna make me lose my mind, up in here!
2: It will be ready on Tuesday. There's no need to shout.
3: That story was so epic Iron Maiden is going to make a song about it.
1.) We managed to negotiate with the orc chief without having to kill anyone! Isn't that great?
2.) BUTLER! I DEMAND SUFFICIENTLY SOFT KNEEPADS!!!
3.) ... and that's the story of how I managed to cross the street.
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) No. No I don't believe I will do that.
2.) Just remember how to count and you should be just fine.
3.) Not with a 10-foot pole. An 11-foot pole, maybe, but definitely not a 10-foot one.
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1. There's a party here in agrabah, to celebrate the domination of your people, won't you join us?
2. So, do you really think I can win the 'ten laps around a track made of hot coals' marathon?
3. Guess what, I have been invited to a 'roast a friend on a skewer' party. I'm thinking about shish kabobing GoatToucher, what do you recommend that I use?
Next poster, here are your answers:
1. I never thought 'death by mustard sunburn' would be a real thing!
2. *Whilst grinning evily* I... ATE my granny!
3. And you said I couldn't bring Digimon to life!
1.) So, it turns out that using mustard seeds as a material component actually increases a Sunray Spell's potency. Who'da thunk it?
2.) Where did the Queen go?
3.) Why is there a giant pentagram drawn in blood around my computer monitor?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) Well, we start with parallel lines that intersect and go on from there.
2.) Better kill it again, just to be sure.
3.) What have you done... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?
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1. How does one summon a Hound of Tindalos?
2. Are you *sure* Newt Gingrich's political career is over?
3. Are there any other questions for the creators of Ponyfinder?
Dear following poster,
The answers to your next three questions are as follows:
1. Deckard Cain on cocaine.
2. Lord Xeen on shrooms.
3. Bobbin Threadbare on PCP.
1. Who are you?
2. I'm sorry, but I still don't know who you are. Come again?
3. I have no idea who you are. None! Please, oh, please, can you give me a clue?
Answerpoos.
1. Miska the Wolf Spider in yoga pants
2. Demogorgon in a cheerleader's outfit
3. Glasya in a boiler suit and concrete pickelhaube ensemble.
1.) Come closer, fleshling. I would like to know the name of the one who dares to challenge a God.
2.) What was the name of that maximum security prison we were supposed to break the rogue out of?
3.) So, I'm kind of leery of Gorthnok's plan to kill trolls by setting ourselves on fire. What do you think about it?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) Thou shalt become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds.
2.) I can think of at least three things wrong with that.
3.) Why not?
1: Do you think people will mind if I add a touch more cumin to this chili?
2: Step one: The systematic violation of all forum members. Step two: Something. Step three: Profit!
3: Would you like to see something strange and mystical?
Answers:
1: Well, I've never tried it, but I'm always up for new things.
2: Heck yeah it is!
3: Hang on a minute: let me gargle to get the taste out.
1: Have you tried potatoes in syrup yet?
2: Nightwish is awesome, don't you agree?
3: That white stuff was no sugar cream.
1) A drunken pirate in a choir.
2) I may be short, but it ain't my 'feet' holding 'me' up.
3) She won't get with you in ..ever.
1.) In your review of Justin Bieber's latest album, you described his singing like... how did you put it again?
2.) I... still don't understand how you're doing that.
3.) But what if I used the rubbing ketchup?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) Unfortunately. And that is why it must die.
2.) That's not what I'd spend my money on.
3.) I take back everything bad I've said about you in the last half-hour.
1: I heard you got the massage of your life from that talking chimpanzee! Pretty amazing, huh?
2: Hey kids! Now with every Fun Sized jar of GoatToucher brand Rump Ointment you get a collector's card for one of the forum members GoatToucher has taken to his "Workroom"! Collect all ten! My favorite is Vanilla and Despair!
3: Here you go, Ventnor: a dragon sized creamsicle! It's got sparkly gnome-bits inside!
Answers:
1: Now you're messin' with a SUNUVVABIT**!
2: How 'bout the power to kill a yak, from two hundred yards away, with -MIND BULLETS-!
3: Everybody wants some! You want some too!
1: I'm sorry grandma, but you're out of Metamucil.
2: I don't really see how you can help with my math homework, JB.
3: Why would you make ten gallons of lutefisk?
Answers:
1: That's not an FDA approved use for apricot preserves!
2: There's a bit of a crust, but that's the best part!
3: I'M EXCITED! ARE YOU EXCITED? I'M EXCITED!!!
1.) Why are you crying? This potion is perfect!
2.) Was dumpster diving with you the best way to spend my Saturday?
3.) ARE YOU READY TO PUNCH SOME KITTENS!?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) I don't think we can be friends anymore.
2.) In here? Well, I don't see why not.
3.) Marry me.
1: What's the problem? I just think that people make too big a deal about Firefly.
2: It's time for your... "treatment." Disrobe, lean over the bed, and breathe deeply, please.
3: How can I get a taste of that patented "Ventnor Charm" every day?
Answers
1: War's the sport.
2: You take this love.
3: They call that one, Muad'dib.
1.) Cool trophy. What competition did you win it in?
2.) A solid gold doomsday laser? For me?
3.) What's with that guy tripping on Space Spice in the back room?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) Legally, I am required to say yes.
2.) That's 200 gold pieces I'm never going to see again.
3.) Ten years. Why?
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1. Do you love America?
2. Hey, what's with all this ritzy Shadow Lodge custom stationery?
3. What does it cost to cast the divine intervention spell?
Dear following poster,
The answers to your next three questions are as follows:
1. They call him Sideways Walt. He may look harmless, but DO NOT mess with him.
2. I call it: The Arcimboldo Drive!
3. California is now a global superpower all by itself!
1. Is there something wrong with your dachshound's head?
2. What's the giant mixer thing with all the apples in hooked up to your SUV?
3. It seems that personality disorders can now be weaponized. Oh well, what is the worst that could happen?
And here, answers for our esteemed next poster:
1. I see. And thirty-four feet of fabric would be enough?
2. There is still a few spots of his skin surface free.
3. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... hmmm, come to think of it... he was in a few pretty good movies. I accept.
1.) Look, we need to create the world's largest T-shirt for our world domination plan to succeed.
2.) Where shall we skin mites build our perfect utopia?
3.) Would you like to spend an evening with actual cannibal Shia Lebeouf?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) That'll do it.
2.) Last time that happened, monstrous 50-foot candy canes roamed the Earth.
3.) But that nice man I talked to said so. Why would he lie?
1. If I jump off this cliff while tied to the dragon and then cast a spell to increase my weight and land on one half of the seasaw, can we catapult the paladin fast enough to break the 4th wall?
2. Anyone want to take a trip to the desert dimension?
3. Why did you convert to Zon-Kuthonism? That'll get you killed not save your soul.
Answers:
1. You forgot to carry the two.
2. Duck, duck, duck, bad goose.
3. Its magic obviously.
1.) No! My doomsday cake laser! How did this happen!?
2.) Want to play a game?
3.) I thought that red dragons were fireproof?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) Well, that's... because you see I... Bye.
2.) Why don't you make like a tree and get outta here!
3.) Joke's on you! I never had any dignity in the first place!
1: Hey, did you borrow my latex priest outfit?
2: You make about as much sense as a screen door on a battleship!
3: Your display at the Governor's Ball last night was appalling. Nobody has ever wanted to see your scrotum, and nobody ever will. I don't worry about the affect it had on others so much as the effect it had on you. Don't you have any self-respect? At this rate you'll die lonely and afraid in a dingy apartment over a Polish delicatessen, having never known the touch of a lover.
Answers:
1: Don't worry: I love you anyway.
2: Come over here, baby. Daddy needs his medicine :waggles eyebrows:.
3: Taylor Swift.
1.) I'm sorry about stabbing you in the torso 77 times. Can you forgive me?
2.) So what's with the bottle of Laudanum and Horse Laxative?
3.) Oh great oracle, give me the name of the one prophesied to either save mankind or damn it.
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) It's no good. Back the the Future Day is already over.
2.) In 10 minutes or so, I reckon.
3.) I don't know whether I should hug you or punch you in the face.
1. Any idea where the nearest patent office is? I have a blueprint for a hover skateboard.
2. How long ago did I show up with a blue police box giggling like a maniac?
3. My future self stole a TARDIS. He then killed your grandparents. Want to help me fix it?
I predict the following answers:
1. No more that 12.
2. Why are you asking me?
3. Not in here you won't.
1: How old is that boy who follows you around all the time half naked?
2: Now where did I put my extra strength speculum lubricant?
3: I'll just take my clothes off for a few minutes and shave my most secret places, if you don't mind.
Answers:
1: How succulent: like a ripe peach.
2: Wait a moment. Let me take a few deep breaths so I can relax.
3: Would you like me to help you stretch before we begin?
1.) So how did that human thigh taste, anyway?
2.) Are you ready for your daily kidney massage, sir?
3.) Is tarrasque-vaulting really an Olympic sport?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) It was that most dreadful organization, A.C.R.O.N.Y.M., I'm afraid.
2.) Unconventional use of butter. 10 points!
3.) I'm afraid that due to budget cuts, we can only do half.
1. Wait wait, who's responsible for all these random letters appearing on my screen?
2. One applies some butter on a slope, which leads to a spiral staircase, rigged to slope down, into the 15x5x15 envenomed spiked pit.
How's that for a trap?
3. I want to have my personal bodygards to come equipped with beam weapons, teleportation devices and a steady supply of coffee. Any objections?
Poster who comes after me, hereby the answers to your questions three:
1. That's the way to make the paladin fall.
2. Not even a diviner will see that coming.
3. Little girls bearing dolls, enough said.
1. So you put the kitten in the greasy pit and then menace it with a Succubus hand puppet, eh?
2. You actually found water with a forky stick?
3. And we're supposed to beware of what, exactly?
I gt answs t yr qstns.
1. I thought you packed the wooden horses inside the Greek...
2. ...And that was why Hercules failed his thirteenth task
3. No, no - I was pregnant by Zeus!
1: So Konstantinos is stuffed to the duodenum with Pesh filled condoms. We just need to find a way to smuggle these knick-knacks next.
2: You have to stretch -every- muscle before you begin.
3: So, have you and Bruce decided on a name for the baby?
Answers!
1: That is most definitely -not- where I left my flashlight.
2: My... that dress looks... "good" on you?
3: That's why I can't get into any of the Final Fantasy games.
1.) I dunno. Have you tried cutting open your stomach yet?
2.) So? How do you like my new outfit? It's made out of 100% recycled human flesh!
3.) Yes, for the last time, if you want to be a wizard, you're not allowed to have a face! Why can't you respect this tradition?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) Yes, yes, and no.
2.) Poodle power should suffice.
3.) I guess that's one way to avoid your in-laws for a week.
Your questions:
1) Who did you invite to your pool party? Goddity? Pulg? GoatToucher?
2) I hear you entered the Paris dog sled race?
3) I heard you put one of your wives in the hospital?
Your Answers:
1) Quee-Quack.
2) Money-Money.
3) Umpah-Umpah.
1.) To me, Duckules, my faithful companion! Are you ready for adventure!?
2.) Very good Duckules. Now, do you remember why we travel the world facing down evil?
3.) Right again! Now, what was that town we were headed to, my good Duckules?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) It's not as bad as that, and at the same time a good deal worse.
2.) I say go for it. At this point, what do you have to lose?
3.) You realize that by asking that you've doomed us all, don't you?
1. GoatToucher is missing! He could be anywhere! It will be the end of us all!
2. The only thing I can think of to do with Pulg's corpse is to knit it into forty-eight sweaters...
3. There, Lord Massacrator is dead, his army broken, and theonly problem left is that the sun isn't shining still at noon. But seriously, it isn't as if there will be another quest to fix that, right?
Esteemed next poster, answers for you.
1. Yes.
2. Yes, absolutely.
3. YES!
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1. Can we fit the eggplant in the Care Bear?
2. Can we then fit the Care Bear in GoatToucher?
3. Even if this is lawful, is it right?
By the suspiciously stained robes of Elminster, next poster, thy questions are THUS!
1. I was helping Manshoon re-stock the pies & quiches aisle,
2. The Simbul's working on the wet fish counter!
3. Very nice, Storm, but it's strictly against our uniform policy.
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1. What exactly were you up to earlier when you snuck that wood chipper into the morgue?
2. Wow, our seafood's the best we've ever had! Not a single bone hiding in anything! What's the secret?
3. Look at me, I'm NAAAKEEED!
Dear following poster,
The answers to your next three questions are as follows:
1. ...and that's how you turn the MOOSE into WEEDS!
2. Philtar, Giltar, and Ziltar.
3. 645-231.
1. Why is there a moose in the washing machine?
2. How many has GT ruined?
3. Could you tell me the dimensional coordinates for the nearest emergency pay phone?
Dear next poster.
Because you are not omniscient, I have included the answers to your questions.
1. Only on Tuesday.
2. Not before 10.
3. But if it carried two coconuts...
1: Do you -really- bathe in the blood of the innocent, feasting on their souls and making mockery of the laws of both god and man?
2: It is true that you select one peasant a day, tear out their spines and suck out the sweet, sweet fluids to slake both your thirst for carnage and your literal thirst?
3: To stop you, I have summoned a Beast of Old. A Thing of Flesh and Fear from the darkest corners of the earth. Places unknown to man and lost to the gods. It will carry you screaming back to its lair to pay for your sins, and by the end death will be a welcome gift.
Answers
1: This comes from within me, but I give it to you freely.
2: Arcane secrets always come at a price, o, Wanderer.
3: A hand hovers over you, ready to strike you down if you stray from the Path of the Righteous.
1.) Do you think I should pull that sword out of your spleen now, or later?
2.) Why are you looking at me like that? All I said was that I know how to toast toast without a toaster now.
3.) You know, I think it's okay if I have one cookie. I've earned it, haven't I?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) You are technically correct. The best kind of correct!
2.) I shall have the butter pit prepared.
3.) That's not good news at all!
1: I promised to insert anything into your colon, and I didn't. The flesh-eating beetles made their own way in.
2: It's time to play "Sexy Noah"! Bring two of every animal!
3: Good news! :takes out article the size of a football, with hooks, barbs, and... is that a corkscrew?: It's a suppository!
Question ye these answers three!
1: That may be, one day, but it is not this day!
2: Chelaxians may not be the nicest people, but I'll give them this: They know how to throw a party!
3: Rotate it ninety degrees to the left and bake at 350 for forty five minutes.
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1. When did the kids find out that cinnamon toast crunch is illegal in Svalbard?
2. Why are your nether regions covered in Babau venom?
3. At what temperature does a fish turn into my fairy godmother?
The answers be!!!
1. I thoUGht You SAid NO To RUgs
2. When the sky opens and sings.
3. We're prepared for time travel
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1. I intend to open the Doormats of Perception. What then?
2. When will I know that I've drunk too much Febreze?
3. We all have togas, corsets, ruffs and handlebar moustaches. What are we?
Yuwan answas? Heah's yuh answas!
1. Chico and Mooky did it with their eyes closed.
2. And that's how we vanquished The Owls and The Pussycats!
3. No - that's why I called him 'The Leader of the Pack'.
1.) But I don't understand why I have to wear the blindfold before stepping into the Snake Pit.
2.) But what did you need that 40 pound potato for?
3.) You call him the "Needer of a Shack?"
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) The partridge, I'm fine with. It's the pear tree that seems a bit excessive.
2.) Well, for one, you'd definitely be placed on Santa's naughty list.
3.) That was great! I love Non-Traditional Christmas Carols!
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1) So how's day one of "The Twelve Days of Rectal Christmas" going?
2: Why shouldn't I sell the orphanage to the inter-dimensional butcher shop? Christmas is coming and I need the money.
3- Our recital will begin with "We Wish You a Merry Secular Commercial Holiday", followed by "O, Holy Dwight", and then we'll wrap up with "Santa Claus is Watching You Pee". You know- for kids!
Answers
1) My "sleigh bells" are "ring-ting-tingling" too...
2) You'd be surprised by what you can get up to in a sleigh...
3) Nonono! I said I wanted you to slay all my enemies for Christmas!
1.) Do you feel that, old chum?
2.) So how did your day out with Santa Claus go?
3.) I have done as you have commanded master, and have weighed your enemies. What will you do with this information?
Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.
1.) Don't stop drumming!
2.) I don't think I'll ever drink Egg Nog again.
3.) Why, that's the true meaning of Christmas!
1.) Here's my impersonation of the muppets' ANIMAL.....[frantic drumming]....how was it?
2.) Frankly, i've heard that Egg Nog isn't actually made of eggs....at all. It involves lots of fattening sweetners, color additions and a whole junk of chemically recycled stuff. Still want some?
3.) Merry x-mas!!
To the next poster, here are the answers to your questions.
1) That thanksgiving turkey was not satisfactory.
2) 20 pounds of fireworks, 3 bottles of champagne and a bobby. (Those UK constables)
3) Those are some very good personal goals for the next year.
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1. What's the real reason the President always pardons his turkey?
2. What was Guy Fawkes really smuggling into Parliament?
3. All I want is the same answers rest of you want: Where do I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got?
Dear following poster,
The answers to your next three questions are as follows:
1. Yeah, that's why the 5th night is my favorite!
2. The Shamash is angry with you....
3. Barukh-FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...!- ata Adonai-YESYESYESNONONOWAITWHAT???- Eloheinu,-ZOMG!!!- melekh ha-AUUUUUUUUGGHHHH!!!-'olam, asher kid'shanu-PHTBHTBTBHTTBHHTTT!!!- b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu-KABOOOOMMM!!!- l'hadlik ner-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....
1: Christmas, man. It's a time when dreams come true, but you gotta make 'em come true, right? Like Sammy Hagar said: "You gotta reach for the Golden Ring!/ Reach for the sky!"
2: I'm afraid that I have eaten the last mini peanut butter cup.
3: :unbuttons pants and exposes his nethers: Does this look infected to you?
Answers? ANSWERS!
1: I swear to Those That Wait Beyond, Dreaming, if Wenceslas tells me to "wassail" one more time... Someone's gonna wake up with fewer organs than they went to sleep with.
2: Do you see what I see? Because I think that's the annual RNC nude dance party.
3: Those aren't sugarplumbs... :wink:
Your questions:
1. What is often heard the morning after a party at Good King Wenceslas' castle.
2. I heard you won a great door prize?
3. Are these sugar plum fairies?
Your answers:
1. Cupid
2. Heart shaped arrow.
3. Love is in the air.
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1: So, me, how was caroling season?
2: Dear Lords Below, me, what is that writhing mass of moist and malformed flesh consuming all it comes across?
3: Me, you have drunk the juice of the Elder Toad, what visions did you receive?
Argh! Ninja'd
1: Hey, what's with the naked guy with the bow and arrow and beer gut prancing around The United Auto Worker's Man of the Year ceremony?
2: So... what does -it- look like? :wink:
3: :coughs repeatedly: Commander, what are those noxious fumes filling the compartment?
Answers:
1: That's the number one reason why I'm going to break my foot off in somebody's ass in about a minute.
2: If you want it bad enough, it -will- fit.
3: Two Great Tastes that Taste Great Together!
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1: Ultra-Vet! We have a very sick donkey who can only be cured if you stuff it in right up to the ankle! Please, can you help us?
2: Ultra-Vet! Are your feet really that big?!
3: Ultra-Vet! I can understand you drinking battery acid before doing that with your tongue, but not that. Why?
For, m'sieur, ah have trois petites answeres:
1: With Guiseppe in the gondola
2: With Hermann in the leiderhosen shop
3: With Boris, in a hole in the ice.