Customary Tipping


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Apparently some people get well into their adulthood being unfamiliar with the custom of tipping. Do you have any experience with this, either on the giving or receiving end?

N.B. Not particularly interested in hearing from people who live in countries where tipping is not customary, I'm in the U.S.


I'm a food service worker in the U.S.

Apparently, there's just no standard that's taught across the board. Personally, I've found that it's the lower-income half of my customer base that tips higher, and more consistently so, than the higher-income douche-bags who just shout "Hey, you!" and expect decent service.


@Hitdice do you think that's ignorance of the protocol or more sense of entitlement?


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I can't imagine that the higher income customers, who probably eat out more often, are likely better educated and supposedly better mannered are ignorant of the protocol. More likely they just have no concept of what it's like to need the tips.

I've never worked for tips, but I've known people who have and not just teens. Therefore, I tip well.

I hate the custom though. I wish we paid workers well enough that we could drop the custom, or at least keep it for special, exceptional service.


Even in the U.S., it's a good idea to inquire about local customs before tipping if outside your own area. Local customs can vary a lot.

Some nations outside the U.S. have no tipping as the custom.

Silver Crusade

This has always bugged me actually. I was taught when growing up to tip 15%. Nowadays I hear it's 18%. Minor, but an annoyance. (What I do is throw down a dollar for every five of my meal, just to make it easy, lol)

Also when do you tip? For example, do you tip at buffets? Is there a difference if they bring you drinks or not?

What if you get genuinely poor service? My upbringing was tip for the service you expect. There have been a couple times when I don't tip, though this is rare. If the service is above average, give an above average tip.

On delivery items, do you tip when there's a delivery charge? From the "This does not include the driver's tip" messages it seems to. But why is there a delivery charge added as well?

Not going to lie, when I see "18% gratuity added to bill", sometimes I get annoyed if the service was bad, but at least it saves me the trouble of worrying if I tipped poorly.


MagusJanus wrote:

Even in the U.S., it's a good idea to inquire about local customs before tipping if outside your own area. Local customs can vary a lot.

Some nations outside the U.S. have no tipping as the custom.

At least for waiters, tipping is pretty standard nationwide, as far as I know. I'm not as familiar with more high-end or special cases where you might tip, but I don't think it varies much.

Is there a particular region you have in mind where tipping isn't customary? In the US, that is. I know other countries vary.


thejeff wrote:
MagusJanus wrote:

Even in the U.S., it's a good idea to inquire about local customs before tipping if outside your own area. Local customs can vary a lot.

Some nations outside the U.S. have no tipping as the custom.

At least for waiters, tipping is pretty standard nationwide, as far as I know. I'm not as familiar with more high-end or special cases where you might tip, but I don't think it varies much.

Is there a particular region you have in mind where tipping isn't customary? In the US, that is. I know other countries vary.

I don't know if it's nation-wide or even state-wide, but I know in Missouri that it's pretty standard for a tip to become automatically part of the bill if your dinner party is over a certain size. In that case, leaving money at the table isn't actually customary. It's also generally, from what I have seen, not considered a true tip.

Which creates an interesting scenario if you feel the server deserves more than the addition to the bill would give them. Luckily, you can adjust that number upward without any argument, though you always get an odd look when you try.

Note that my experiences are limited, so this may be limited only to a tiny portion of the state.


That's pretty common. It's still tipping as far as I'm concerned. You just want to keep an eye out for it to make sure you don't miss it and add another 20%.


As another thought, though this will violate the standard tipping customs: It's never made much sense to me to tip based on the size of the bill. It's no more work to bring out one $20 dish and a $10 drink than it is to bring a $7.50 sandwich and glass of water.

I'm kind of tempted to start tipping a flat amount, regardless of the prices of the restaurant. I generally eat in fairly cheap places and rarely order alcohol, so I think they'd usually come out ahead.
+Bonus if I'm ordering something complicated or am otherwise being a pain:)


Cinema and the Class Struggle

If you get bored, skip to 1:20.


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My tipping standards:

  • I tip in cash whenever possible, even if I pay the bill with plastic.
  • Rates are typically 15% for adequate service, 20% for good.
  • For mostly serve-yourself with some level of server effort, or for carryout: 10%
  • Minimum $1/person for dine-in, even if only water or coffee are ordered. We're taking up space that a paying customer could fill. It's not the staff's fault.
  • For coupons and discounts, I tip on what the full bill would have been, not on the discounted amount. Tipping for one meal when the staff does the work for two seems cold to me.
  • If I am a pain in the butt customer (complicated special orders, lots of refills for whatever reason, etc), I add 5-10%. Same if the wait staff does something extra-special.
  • Schmoozing, buttering up, telling me how efficient you are because you actually remembered to bring the requested cream with my coffee will not gain you a penny more, and may drop you from 20% to 15% (or lower if you annoy me enough).

We don't have a lot, but if we can afford to eat out, we try to be sure the wait staff is adequately paid for their effort. Very few are driving to work in BMW's.


thejeff wrote:

As another thought, though this will violate the standard tipping customs: It's never made much sense to me to tip based on the size of the bill. It's no more work to bring out one $20 dish and a $10 drink than it is to bring a $7.50 sandwich and glass of water.

I'm kind of tempted to start tipping a flat amount, regardless of the prices of the restaurant. I generally eat in fairly cheap places and rarely order alcohol, so I think they'd usually come out ahead.
+Bonus if I'm ordering something complicated or am otherwise being a pain:)

I'm somewhat in agreement with this in that I give minimum tips for small meals that greatly exceed the "standard" percent. By that I mean even very cheap meals ($10 or so) still get at least a $5 tip. I still scale upward pretty good too but I have always thought that $1.50 for a tip seemed pretty small regardless of my order cost. I also don't typically penalize bad service unless it becomes repetitive at spots I frequent 'cause I know that every now and then shit happens.


I dine off the dollar menu.

Sovereign Court

I go 20% in a restaurant with good service. Closer to 10% for delivery unless the order is very large.

I have a question for everyone. If you get crappy service and decide not to tip, should you inform the manager? I assume if you don't leave a tip the waiter assumes you are an a-hole and nothing comes of it. If the manager knows what went down they can coach the server so they stop providing substandard service. Any thoughts on this?

I really don't like complaining myself. I tend to prefer just to not return. Now I realize the place has no idea why I'm not coming back.

Dark Archive

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I always tip in cash. From my own experience, tips added to a credit card charge are 'forgotten' at least half the time, and never get divvied up to the servers later (and servers who complain about this 'forgetfulness' end up getting fired). You're just throwing extra money at the restaurant.


Pan wrote:
I have a question for everyone. If you get crappy service and decide not to tip, should you inform the manager? I assume if you don't leave a tip the waiter assumes you are an a-hole and nothing comes of it. If the manager knows what went down they can coach the server so they stop providing substandard service. Any thoughts on this?

Depends on the restaurant. Plus, asking to see the manager is usually interpreted as being entirely hostile, which can put you at odds with the manager if it happens to be their favorite employee.


I actually didn't realize that you are supposed to tip barbers, since I either had my parents cut my hair when I was younger or I would just buzz it myself. So I rectified that.

Sovereign Court

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MagusJanus wrote:
Pan wrote:
I have a question for everyone. If you get crappy service and decide not to tip, should you inform the manager? I assume if you don't leave a tip the waiter assumes you are an a-hole and nothing comes of it. If the manager knows what went down they can coach the server so they stop providing substandard service. Any thoughts on this?
Depends on the restaurant. Plus, asking to see the manager is usually interpreted as being entirely hostile, which can put you at odds with the manager if it happens to be their favorite employee.

I could care less if I am at odds with the manager. I am polite and offering a suggestion on why my visit was not satisfactory. If the manager considers that hostile then I wont be back.

Sovereign Court

Odraude wrote:
I actually didn't realize that you are supposed to tip barbers, since I either had my parents cut my hair when I was younger or I would just buzz it myself. So I rectified that.

Good on you. I love my local barber. He is getting older and ready to retire though. I have no idea what I am going to do when he does. So few barbers left these days that actually want to develop a rapport. Hell most of them dont even use hot foam and a straight razor.


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Sarcasmancer wrote:

N.B. Not particularly interested in hearing from people who live in countries where tipping is not customary, I'm in the U.S.

Blows raspberry at Sarcasmancer... We only tip if the service is good. Then again we don't force our hospitality workers to beg for money so they can make it to the poverty line.

Edit: Minimum wage in Australia is $16.88 US per hour. Juniors and trainees get less.
Washington state is the highest in the US at $9.19 for tipped/untipped
$2.13 seems to be common across most US states for tipped.

Sovereign Court Contributor

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Pan wrote:
Odraude wrote:
I actually didn't realize that you are supposed to tip barbers, since I either had my parents cut my hair when I was younger or I would just buzz it myself. So I rectified that.
Good on you. I love my local barber. He is getting older and ready to retire though. I have no idea what I am going to do when he does. So few barbers left these days that actually want to develop a rapport. Hell most of them dont even use hot foam and a straight razor.

People with a straight razor at your throat should be tipped well.


thejeff wrote:

As another thought, though this will violate the standard tipping customs: It's never made much sense to me to tip based on the size of the bill. It's no more work to bring out one $20 dish and a $10 drink than it is to bring a $7.50 sandwich and glass of water.

I'm kind of tempted to start tipping a flat amount, regardless of the prices of the restaurant. I generally eat in fairly cheap places and rarely order alcohol, so I think they'd usually come out ahead.
+Bonus if I'm ordering something complicated or am otherwise being a pain:)

Places I've worked require the server to pay the hostesses and bar staff and it's based on the total. So the larger the bill the more they are taking out of your flat tip.


Pan wrote:

I go 20% in a restaurant with good service. Closer to 10% for delivery unless the order is very large.

I have a question for everyone. If you get crappy service and decide not to tip, should you inform the manager? I assume if you don't leave a tip the waiter assumes you are an a-hole and nothing comes of it. If the manager knows what went down they can coach the server so they stop providing substandard service. Any thoughts on this?

I really don't like complaining myself. I tend to prefer just to not return. Now I realize the place has no idea why I'm not coming back.

Depends on what you mean by crappy service. If you had to wait for a table or you didn't like the food, the server had very little to do with that (although you could still complain, just don't blame the server).


Set wrote:

I always tip in cash. From my own experience, tips added to a credit card charge are 'forgotten' at least half the time, and never get divvied up to the servers later (and servers who complain about this 'forgetfulness' end up getting fired). You're just throwing extra money at the restaurant.

I've never had that problem but I did work at one place that essentially had the servers pay for the restaurant's credit card machine.


Xzaral wrote:

This has always bugged me actually. I was taught when growing up to tip 15%. Nowadays I hear it's 18%. Minor, but an annoyance. (What I do is throw down a dollar for every five of my meal, just to make it easy, lol)

Also when do you tip? For example, do you tip at buffets? Is there a difference if they bring you drinks or not?

What if you get genuinely poor service? My upbringing was tip for the service you expect. There have been a couple times when I don't tip, though this is rare. If the service is above average, give an above average tip.

On delivery items, do you tip when there's a delivery charge? From the "This does not include the driver's tip" messages it seems to. But why is there a delivery charge added as well?

Not going to lie, when I see "18% gratuity added to bill", sometimes I get annoyed if the service was bad, but at least it saves me the trouble of worrying if I tipped poorly.

15% is considered standard most places with 20% for exceptional service or 10% for poor service (not tipping has the server paying out of their own pocket to wait on you)

You should certainly tip drivers (it's easy to remember somebody when you drive to their house and they are completely alone with your food!) even if there is a delivery charge as that goes to the restaurant.

Automatic gratuity on large parties is fairly standard. The 18% is most likely because the server is paying out 3% to host/bartender/food runner etc.

On a personal note: I have never understood someone who says they always tip but get mad when it's automatically added. (Not that that was you meant, just using it as a jumping off point.). Honestly anyone who tells me that I assume is lying. Also people who "brag" about what big tippers they are (to their server, not on the Internet in a discussion about tipping) are usually bad tippers. Plus the more overtly religious a person is the less they seem to tip.

Sovereign Court

Tipping is hardest when you travel because there will be people who try it on.

Do Americans really tip taxi drivers?


GeraintElberion wrote:

Tipping is hardest when you travel because there will be people who try it on.

Do Americans really tip taxi drivers?

Yes.


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Im from a non-tipping country, and I almost stopped tipping when im abroad after I found out that many employers take the tipping proceeds (at least in the places I visited) with the reasoning that tips are a voluntary part of the service which the employer spent time and effort to teach the staff. In other words: "I taught you to smile and be nice, so all your tips belong to me!"

I still tip when appropriate, but I do it with a half heart worried that its going into the wrong wallet.


Durngrun Stonebreaker wrote:
GeraintElberion wrote:

Tipping is hardest when you travel because there will be people who try it on.

Do Americans really tip taxi drivers?

Yes.

90% of my taxi rides are horror stories... I wouldn't want to tip those crazy bastards... If we work back late my company provides us with cab charge. So I catch a cab home a lot.

The funniest trip home... I get into a cab that was waiting at the rank, the driver is watching Top Gear on a portable DVD player.

"You like Top Gear????" He asks excitedly
"Yes, Captain Slow (James may) is my favorite" I say thinking he is going to put he DVD player away... I then notice its gaffer taped to the consul.
"Good episode you watch" He says as the wheels spin and we weave into traffic.
I am looking at him mouth open - he takes his hands off the wheel and points at the DVD player "You watch, you watch..."
"Oh shit, its another crazy one" Runs through my head.
Luckily there is a lot of traffic in Sydney late at night so he cant get too much speed up.
As we cross ANZAC bridge I look up from the DVD player (I am watching it to stop myself from filling my pants with brown)and see that he is watching it as well.
"I like that car he says to me smiling"
I spent the rest of the trip preparing for the brace position.

The worst trip I had - I said to the driver "If you hang a left hear you can get on to Parramatta road quicker.."
The guy looked at me with the look of a person that had survived war zone before escaping to Australia.
His finger inches from my face and hate oozing from his lips.. "Do you ever tell me where to drive" he snarled...
I got him to drop me off a block off before my house and I walked in the opposite direction until I was sure he had gone... The dude was fraggen scary and I didnt want him to know where I lived.

Mostly though they just do their best to rip you off.


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20% because the math is easy.

If you can't afford to tip in the US, you should be buying groceries. Full stop.


I have a tip calculator on my phone. I start at 15% and find something between there and 20 that gets me to an even dollar amount, give or take 5-10 cents that I can round off. (For example if it comes up to $6.93 I'll just round up to $7, if it's $7.02 I'll round down, etc.) Higher if the service was particularly good, of course.


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thejeff wrote:

I can't imagine that the higher income customers, who probably eat out more often, are likely better educated and supposedly better mannered are ignorant of the protocol. More likely they just have no concept of what it's like to need the tips.

I've never worked for tips, but I've known people who have and not just teens. Therefore, I tip well.

I hate the custom though. I wish we paid workers well enough that we could drop the custom, or at least keep it for special, exceptional service.

Almost-total sidetrack but I agree: A custom that was created to reward exceptional service is suddenly essentially required because restaurants are allowed to pay their staff less than minimum wage based on the argument that tips will make up for it.

Very similar to going to the (live) theater these days: Every friggin' show I go to suddenly merits a standing ovation. I haven't attended a show that didn't get a standing O in five years. Really, people? I thought I standing O was for a performance that truly wowed you.

We're in a very high-income, high-cost-of-living area (San Francisco Bay Area), so even though 'standards' are the same as posted above (5-10% for poor service, 15% for good service 20% for excellent service, and 18% is tacked onto your bill for groups of 6 or more), my friend and I are heavy over-tippers and rarely tip under 20% unless the serving person is pretty bad (ignores us for 20 minutes, is rude, etc.), and frequently hit the 25% mark.
Our all-time record was 40%, but everyone at the table agreed that it was the best server any of us had ever had. At a table of 40-50-year-olds, being the best server ever merits something special.


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I don't tip.

The price should be the price.

Those in service industries should be paid well so they give good service, and not have to scrape and near-beg for tips. It is a demeaning activity and should not be supported.

I have been in some poor countries and not tipped, because if I want to give them higher earnings, I order more or buy more from their business. So Americans will not get a tip from me because they made a tiny bit of effort. They are not special.

A strange cultural practice. Rejected.


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You do know that in doing so, you're basically not paying those people at all - the vast majority of the listed price goes to the business and the owner.

The situation isn't great, yeah, but your "solution" only makes it worse.


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I tend to not tip but not out of douchebaggery. I want the wait staff to be angry. I want them to complain to their boss. They deserve a guaranteed fair wage and shouldn't feel like they have to kiss ass to get one nor do I think customers should feel they have to bribe someone to not f!%! with their food or give them poor service. This whole exchange is inherently antagonistic and is unnecessary. I'd gladly pay more for eating out if this were remedied.

When I do tip I tip well even upwards of 50-75% if you really impressed me with your service. I make good money.


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I've got two words for you: learn to f$&$ing type

Needless to say, NSFW; also, anti-Semitic.


I appreciate your responses so far but I especially looking to investigate whether there are adults who are legitimately ignorant of the custom.

@Xzaral re: delivery charge in addition to tip. I work (in one of my 3 jobs) as a delivery driver and even I honestly don't know what that's for. We charge 2.50 and I get 1.00 for every delivery (supposedly to compensate me for gas / maintenance); where does that other 1.50 go to? Three theories: (1) it goes for some kind of liability insurance for the employer in case I get in a wreck or something; (2) it goes toward my wage - they are legally obligated to make up the difference if my tips + wage are less than the minimum wage, so this is to cover their ass in that eventuality; (3) it doesn't go anywhere in particular, it's just a gouge.

@Others I think stiffing somebody a tip because of "poor service" is a bit crass. In theory I see where you are coming from, but they're paid significantly less than minimum wage and have to make up the difference in tips; and, as others have noted, the kinds of things that people complain about are not typically the server's fault, anyway.


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@Buri I'm sure they appreciate that they are being stiffed because of political ideology and not out of mere rudeness or cheapness.


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Buri wrote:
I tend to not tip but not out of douchebaggery. I want the wait staff to be angry. I want them to complain to their boss. They deserve a guaranteed fair wage and shouldn't feel like they have to kiss ass to get one nor do I think customers should feel they have to bribe someone to not f*@# with their food or give them poor service. This whole exchange is inherently antagonistic and is unnecessary. I'd gladly pay more for eating out if this were remedied.

Unfortunately, as mentioned above you to DMUTB, this does absolutely nothing but cost the people who need the money and still pays the people who get paid normal wages anyway. 9 times out of 10 complaining to the boss is just going to get a "oh well, that's life, sometimes people don't tip" response. It isn't going to change the system.


Orthos wrote:
Buri wrote:
I tend to not tip but not out of douchebaggery. I want the wait staff to be angry. I want them to complain to their boss. They deserve a guaranteed fair wage and shouldn't feel like they have to kiss ass to get one nor do I think customers should feel they have to bribe someone to not f*@# with their food or give them poor service. This whole exchange is inherently antagonistic and is unnecessary. I'd gladly pay more for eating out if this were remedied.
Unfortunately, as mentioned above you to DMUTB, this does absolutely nothing but cost the people who need the money and still pays the people who get paid normal wages anyway. 9 times out of 10 complaining to the boss is just going to get a "oh well, that's life, sometimes people don't tip" response. It isn't going to change the system.

Don't the employers have to make-up the loss of tips to a minimum wage level? Not that this is a good wage, but.....?


I know some do, I don't believe it's a universal requirement in all places though.

Silver Crusade

I'd like to say I'm pretty generous in what I define as poor service but I will look at at least giving that 10% going forward.

Here's another one I remember. Tipping the cook at a restaurant for a well prepared meal. I've been present when someone gave the waitstaff and said half was for the cook. Not something I've seen often, but curious as how common that practice is?


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So employers can get away with paying less than a minimum wage? And what if the 'tip' is added to the bill automatically? Could the employers just distribute that to their own costs?

A few other questions, does the tip get shared with the cooks, dish-washers, or concierges? Or would that be on an ad-hoc basis?


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Durngrun Stonebreaker wrote:


On a personal note: I have never understood someone who says they always tip but get mad when it's automatically added. (Not that that was you meant, just using it as a jumping off point.). Honestly anyone who tells me that I assume is lying. Also people who "brag" about what big tippers they are (to their server, not on the Internet in a discussion about tipping) are usually bad tippers. Plus the more overtly religious a person is the less they seem to tip.

Speaking only for myself, it's a control/motivation issue.

Let me start to say that I worked my way through college in the hospitality industry, and I consider myself to know it well. Or at least the bottom rungs of it. I know the jobs, I know the pay scales, and I know the responsibilities. And, yes, I always tip, or so close as to make no difference -- but that's only because a nickel is technically also a tip. Acceptable service gets around 20%; good service goes up from there, and poor service goes down as a way of sending a message that the customer is displeased. (I should also add that the server works just as hard, sometimes harder, to bring breakfast as dinner, so tipping percentage should go up when the check is small.)

Yes, Sarcasmancer, I recognize that it's not the server's fault that the food is badly cooked. That's not poor service. Bringing me the wrong dish three times is poor service. Not bringing me silverware for twenty minutes, so my food is cold by the time I get to it, is poor service. Dumping a glass of water in my lap is an accident -- not bringing me a towel afterwards is poor service.

Helping to enforce this is the fact that the person who handles my travel receipts is also ex-hospitality. If I bring in a receipt that doesn't have a 20% tip on it, she gets annoyed at me. But she also has standards for service and is willing to believe that not knowing the difference between salmon and steak is grounds for withholding tips.

But I want that degree of control over my check. If you're going to insist that I tip the same amount, even for bad service, how do I discourage it?


Orthos wrote:
Unfortunately, as mentioned above you to DMUTB, this does absolutely nothing but cost the people who need the money and still pays the people who get paid normal wages anyway. 9 times out of 10 complaining to the boss is just going to get a "oh well, that's life, sometimes people don't tip" response. It isn't going to change the system.

Except I know some owners and managers of dining establishments and I'm not quiet about my opinion. I know I'm not going to one man army style change the system. I do what I can. I don't feel compelled to tip to any degree, though.


DSXMachina wrote:
So employers can get away with paying less than a minimum wage?

Yes. Waitstaff are technically "tipped" employees and the company can count the tips they are paid as wages.

Quote:
And what if the 'tip' is added to the bill automatically? Could the employers just distribute that to their own costs?

I'm not sure what you're asking here. If the company pockets the tips and does NOT distribute it to the waitstaff, then the waitstaff are no longer tipped employees and the employer would be breaking the law.

Quote:


A few other questions, does the tip get shared with the cooks, dish-washers, or concierges? Or would that be on an ad-hoc basis?

Depends on the restaurant. The most common thing I've seen is that it's pooled and shared among the front-of-the-house -- waitstaff, busboys, hosts - but not among the cooks or dishwashers. The second most common thing I've seen is that each server keeps her own tips but gives a cut to her specific busboy.


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Quote:
Plus the more overtly religious a person is the less they seem to tip.

Speaking as someone who is overtly religious and knows a lot of people who are, this has not been my experience. My family regularly tips 15% or higher (my dad in particular often goes as high as 25% or 30% for particularly good service) and when I've gone to dinners with church friends or acquaintances as a group there's never been, at least in my experience, a dearth of tips provided.

Now, I have heard horror stories of religious people putting things like scriptures or pithy little pieces of advice or cards with their church's address in place of actual monetary tips, but I consider these the exception more than the rule.


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DSXMachina wrote:
And what if the 'tip' is added to the bill automatically?

I wouldn't eat there.

DSXMachina wrote:
A few other questions, does the tip get shared with the cooks, dish-washers, or concierges? Or would that be on an ad-hoc basis?

Many chain establishments split tips which I vehemently hate. If I'm trying to tip the bartender or my server, that doesn't mean the hostess was pleasant to deal with.


Buri wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Unfortunately, as mentioned above you to DMUTB, this does absolutely nothing but cost the people who need the money and still pays the people who get paid normal wages anyway. 9 times out of 10 complaining to the boss is just going to get a "oh well, that's life, sometimes people don't tip" response. It isn't going to change the system.
Except I know some owners and managers of dining establishments and I'm not quiet about my opinion. I know I'm not going to one man army style change the system. I do what I can. I don't feel compelled to tip to any degree, though.

I just personally believe you're doing more harm than good.

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