You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and...


Pathfinder Society

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Shadow Lodge 5/5

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Thunderlips, or any of his "friends" make an appearance.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

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You're stuck inna Harrow demiplane and nobody bothered to learn Varisian.

And the half-orc sorcerer is a rebel without a cause BUT WITH CHAINSAW!

5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Finland—Tampere

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Muser wrote:

You're stuck inna Harrow demiplane and nobody bothered to learn Varisian.

And the half-orc sorcerer is a rebel without a cause BUT WITH CHAINSAW!

Another option: you're heading into Nagajor, no one speaks Nagaji, and the only person who speaks Tien is the eight-year-old child.

Later on, she goes deaf.

Liberty's Edge 1/5

Muser wrote:

You're stuck inna Harrow demiplane and nobody bothered to learn Varisian.

And the half-orc sorcerer is a rebel without a cause BUT WITH CHAINSAW!

You know, for some crazy reason, everyone there seems to know common, and some of them don't even know Varisian.

Grand Lodge 4/5 5/55/5 ** Venture-Lieutenant, Florida—Melbourne

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Fromper wrote:
Kegdrainer wrote:
The GM has tiny toe tags to tie on your miniature along with a scale model graveyard with six open graves waiting.
Hmm... where could I get a graveyard like that? I might need it for the adventure I'm running on Saturday.

Try Michael's Craft Supplies around Halloween. I picked up a pack of tiny tombstones that are perfect to hand out to players when they forget to bring their own Mimi.

5/5 5/55/55/5

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The DM uses the memorial wall as his screen

Shadow Lodge 4/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Florida—Jacksonville

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BigNorseWolf wrote:
The DM uses the memorial wall as his screen

That SOOOOOOOOO needs to be a thing..

4/5

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you are ready to play your succubus disguised calistrian brawler and you realize you are at the under 18 table playing Overflow Archives...

Shadow Lodge 4/5

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I cast create greater undead on this thread. A morgh thread!

*********

...when you get to the table and the gm complains it took 7 books* to get the conversion he wanted out of a juju zombie fighter.

Mind you, that might have been a tad overkill.

*:
Bestiary 2, Bestiary 3, Weapon Master's Handbook, Ultimate Combat, Ultimate Equipment, Armor Master's Handbook & Skeletons of Scarwall. Next up, Advanced Class Guide + Pyramid of the Sky Pharaoh + Advanced Class Origins + Ultimate Combat + Ultimate Magic + Bestiary 2 + Inner Sea Magic + Shifting Sands!

*********

...and half the table is sneezing and coughing and you realize you forgot pack a coat in September.

********* (what the tit is this and why am I doing it? Anyone?)

...and there's the Occult Bestiary proudly on display.

1/5

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One of the players asks you to witness as they roll their stats...

...and it is a tier 5-9.

Scarab Sages

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...you realise that the RPG group is every other tuesday.

Scarab Sages 3/5 Venture-Agent, Finland—Oulu

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DM sais this is an easy scenario, you can play up (me with lvl 1 character playing 3-4 tier). Then first monster that appears is earth elemental who starts hitting party with 25 damage melee hits and you stare your 9 max hp and then DM and then back at your hp and then at your DM again.

That's how I lost my first character, scenario was also tpk.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

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Yeah, that scenario is pretty notorious in these parts.

It's otherwise ridiculously easy, so I can understand your GM's confusion. Fortunately, there are always new lvl 1's.

Grand Lodge 5/5 Regional Venture-Coordinator, Baltic

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You look over the different characters on the table and you discover that the one pregen is a much more solid build than any of the other 5 characters AND that the pregen in question is Harsk.

True story.

The Exchange 5/5

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you help organize a game so that your Alchemist/Wizard can swap spells with another players Wizard. As the rest of the PCs trickle in this seems to set the theme for the night.

Arcanist

Sorcerer

and

Sorcerer.

Yeah - your Alchemist (mind chemist) is the front liner, and the Healer... and the trapsmith... But heck, we've got arcane caster covered! Good thing we didn't face Golems!


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...the GM has a special red folder, with KEEP OUT, DANGEROUS, and NO RESURRECTIONS on it.

Only until later in the night, when the scenario TPKs, do you realize what it's for as he slowly, with a crooked smile, tucks all of your character sheets into it.

1/5

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Auke Teeninga wrote:

You look over the different characters on the table and you discover that the one pregen is a much more solid build than any of the other 5 characters AND that the pregen in question is Harsk.

True story.

I call shenanigans! A blind monkey that doesn't know Pathfinder's rules is still likely to create a more solid build than Harsk. ;)

Dark Archive 3/5

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Nohwear wrote:

One of the players asks you to witness as they roll their stats...

...and it is a tier 5-9.

Witness me bloodbag!

Grand Lodge 5/5 Regional Venture-Coordinator, Baltic

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Jessex wrote:
Auke Teeninga wrote:

You look over the different characters on the table and you discover that the one pregen is a much more solid build than any of the other 5 characters AND that the pregen in question is Harsk.

True story.

I call shenanigans! A blind monkey that doesn't know Pathfinder's rules is still likely to create a more solid build than Harsk. ;)

GenCon2016. Two 10 year old boys, One 12 year old girl, father, mother and a friend of the family. The dad had created all characters and thought there was a rule against stats lower than 10 and most stats were odd.

After the first exchange of blows their two main damage dealers were bleeding to death on the ground, without having posed any challenge at all. The Aspis agents then decided they would take all of them alive and sell them into slavery. Luckily the players' luck changed and they actually won the fight!

Silver Crusade 5/5 5/5 **

Jessex wrote:
Auke Teeninga wrote:

You look over the different characters on the table and you discover that the one pregen is a much more solid build than any of the other 5 characters AND that the pregen in question is Harsk.

True story.

I call shenanigans! A blind monkey that doesn't know Pathfinder's rules is still likely to create a more solid build than Harsk. ;)

At low tiers, Harsk isn't actually THAT bad. He maybe shoots his xbow once an encounter and then just uses his axe.

He is only REALLY bad if you insist on using the Xbow :-)

5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Finland—Tampere

Paul Jackson wrote:
Jessex wrote:
Auke Teeninga wrote:

You look over the different characters on the table and you discover that the one pregen is a much more solid build than any of the other 5 characters AND that the pregen in question is Harsk.

True story.

I call shenanigans! A blind monkey that doesn't know Pathfinder's rules is still likely to create a more solid build than Harsk. ;)

At low tiers, Harsk isn't actually THAT bad. He maybe shoots his xbow once an encounter and then just uses his axe.

He is only REALLY bad if you insist on using the Xbow :-)

Harsk is part of the pregen party for the original version of Curse of the Crimson Throne. We took a peek at his stats and gear yesterday and were left a little confused as to what his general function is in the party. Giantbane crossbow? Really?

Silver Crusade 5/5 5/5 **

Rei wrote:


Harsk is part of the pregen party for the original version of Curse of the Crimson Throne. We took a peek at his stats and gear yesterday and were left a little confused as to what his general function is in the party. Giantbane crossbow? Really?

Well, I did say "at low tiers" :-).

We were running a module in Campaign Mode once and somebody was playing L7 Harsk. Given that it was Campaign Mode, we took about 10 seconds to swap his xbow for a composite long bow and change his feats a little.

Way more than doubled his usefulness (the next session, the player insisted on running Harsk with Xbow :-()

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

We once played in a 3 PC & 3 henchmen campaign, and I ran a Warrior with a crossbow, and he was the only henchman to survive the campaign. I think even my PC inquisitor got gobbled up by an owlbear, but my NPC survived.

Crossbows are pretty great for NPCs, since it's pretty much "Reload and Shoot" every round. They don't take up a lot of table time.

Sovereign Court

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The DM (usually me) that normally rolls snake eyes D20's just came up dual crits on the opening round.

5/5 5/55/55/5

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"Roll percep..."

looks at dice

"Never mind. "

5/5

Righty_ wrote:
The DM (usually me) that normally rolls snake eyes D20's just came up dual crits on the opening round.

I've apologized for that! Sometimes I wish I didn't so steadfastly roll everything out in the open.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Yeah, I roll so much better when I DM/GM than when I'm a player.

And it's with the same dice....

Shadow Lodge 4/5

Rei wrote:
Paul Jackson wrote:
Jessex wrote:
Auke Teeninga wrote:

You look over the different characters on the table and you discover that the one pregen is a much more solid build than any of the other 5 characters AND that the pregen in question is Harsk.

True story.

I call shenanigans! A blind monkey that doesn't know Pathfinder's rules is still likely to create a more solid build than Harsk. ;)

At low tiers, Harsk isn't actually THAT bad. He maybe shoots his xbow once an encounter and then just uses his axe.

He is only REALLY bad if you insist on using the Xbow :-)

Harsk is part of the pregen party for the original version of Curse of the Crimson Throne. We took a peek at his stats and gear yesterday and were left a little confused as to what his general function is in the party. Giantbane crossbow? Really?

That was a +1 flaming burst giant bane heavy crossbow actually! urgh

Mind you, that 11th level Harsk also has a +2 greataxe and favored enemy undead, so in that particular adventure he'd be pretty decent.

Lantern Lodge 1/5

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Recent experience: Your pre-gen Kinetecist (a 9-year-old little girl) is the party face.

Suspicious cleric guarding cemetary: "Why are you here?"
Little girl voice performed by large bearded man: "We're here to find the thing that the lady didn't give the other people because we need the thing to finish the other things and she gave the thing to the guy who died here and we think it's here." Rolled diplomacy....

Later: Suspicious cleric: "Did you take anything?"
Little girl: /cries. Rolled diplomacy...

Sovereign Court

zefig wrote:
Righty_ wrote:
The DM (usually me) that normally rolls snake eyes D20's just came up dual crits on the opening round.
I've apologized for that! Sometimes I wish I didn't so steadfastly roll everything out in the open.

I was referring to me, I thrashed some poor folks that got an ill wind countering my normal stealth 1, perception 1 - bad guy is closing his eyes thinking he's invisible if he can't see you routine.

Liberty's Edge 1/5

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Seoni the sorceress has the best Climb skill in the group.

4/5

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Theconiel wrote:
Seoni the sorceress has the best Climb skill in the group.

I was in a PFS Core scenario where my wizard had the best "climb" skill - it was called levitate.

Scarab Sages

Theconiel wrote:
Seoni the sorceress has the best Climb skill in the group.

To be fair, your sorcereress is probably not wearing heavy armor. Even if I take climb on a fighter, the characters in the party that don't wear armor often roll better on climb checks.

Liberty's Edge 1/5

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Murdock Mudeater wrote:
Theconiel wrote:
Seoni the sorceress has the best Climb skill in the group.
To be fair, your sorcereress is probably not wearing heavy armor. Even if I take climb on a fighter, the characters in the party that don't wear armor often roll better on climb checks.

Fair poit, although we were a bunch of first- and second-level characters, and nobody had heavy armor. The first-level Seoni pregen has +3 Climb from her familiar. In any event, she succeeded in the Climb check and then at the Strength check she had to make at the top.

"You go, girl!"

Grand Lodge 4/5 5/55/5 ** Venture-Lieutenant, Florida—Melbourne

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BigNorseWolf wrote:

"Roll percep..."

looks at dice

"Never mind. "

Been there, done that very recently.

Me: "Okay, everyone give me a Perception check."

Me: (Roll a 19 for Stealth. Consult stat block. Add 40 for being invisible and not moving.)

Me: Umm. Okay, does anyone beat an 84?

Silver Crusade 5/5

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...
You sit down at a table of Core Accursed Halls with first level characters and the Venture Officer tells the GM to run it like it was Bonekeep.

3/5

Agave wrote:

...

You sit down at a table of Core Accursed Halls with first level characters and the Venture Officer tells the GM to run it like it was Bonekeep.

Accursed Halls of Thornkeep: more PC and table kills than any other scenario for me.

But the last group should probably have backed out when they ran deeper into the dungeon away from the second fight in the place.

Half of that table walked away in the end while the other half were marked dead. The prior time I'd run it, one of six escaped. I try not to run that particular module any more...

Grand Lodge 3/5

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... when a table of 6's and 7's want to play up in a T5-9 scenario.
... when said decision was reached by a coin toss.
... when said coin toss was flipped three times, because it kept bouncing off the table.
... when said coin toss, was tossed by the lowest level player.

5/5 5/55/55/5

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"Please pick a mini

"For your characters?

"No. For the geek soduku. And someone get me the dice box for the flight mini, we may have to take this into 3 dimensions...

This is, sadly, a very mild exageration from friday..

3/5

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Ryzoken wrote:
Agave wrote:

...

You sit down at a table of Core Accursed Halls with first level characters and the Venture Officer tells the GM to run it like it was Bonekeep.

Accursed Halls of Thornkeep: more PC and table kills than any other scenario for me.

But the last group should probably have backed out when they ran deeper into the dungeon away from the second fight in the place.

Half of that table walked away in the end while the other half were marked dead. The prior time I'd run it, one of six escaped. I try not to run that particular module any more...

When I ran this I made sure the group was level 2, and I stressed how dangerous it was. As a joke since the party just failed the 3rd quest for perfection I had the VC tell them they were sending someplace "easy" for the bumbling agents since they now have to house so many Tien refugees. Then when they arrived I describe a mound of bodies and broken wayfinders next to them.

Grand Lodge 3/5 Venture-Lieutenant, California—San Diego

Finlanderboy wrote:
Ryzoken wrote:
Agave wrote:

...

You sit down at a table of Core Accursed Halls with first level characters and the Venture Officer tells the GM to run it like it was Bonekeep.

Accursed Halls of Thornkeep: more PC and table kills than any other scenario for me.

But the last group should probably have backed out when they ran deeper into the dungeon away from the second fight in the place.

Half of that table walked away in the end while the other half were marked dead. The prior time I'd run it, one of six escaped. I try not to run that particular module any more...

When I ran this I made sure the group was level 2, and I stressed how dangerous it was. As a joke since the party just failed the 3rd quest for perfection I had the VC tell them they were sending someplace "easy" for the bumbling agents since they now have to house so many Tien refugees. Then when they arrived I describe a mound of bodies and broken wayfinders next to them.

This makes me want to play it even more..... I think I'm a masochist concerning my characters.

3/5

"Welcome to Thornkeep, here's a shovel, start digging."
"What are we digging, Mr. VC?"
"Your eventual graves."

Sovereign Court 4/5 5/55/55/55/5 *** Venture-Agent, Georgia—Atlanta

Ryzoken wrote:

"Welcome to Thornkeep, here's a shovel, start digging."

"What are we digging, Mr. VC?"
"Your eventual graves."

Oh. You are all dwarf and half-orcs. You should be fine.

4/5 5/5

The Masked Ferret wrote:
Ryzoken wrote:

"Welcome to Thornkeep, here's a shovel, start digging."

"What are we digging, Mr. VC?"
"Your eventual graves."
Oh. You are all dwarf and half-orcs. You should be fine.

That's for Emerald Spire if I recall correctly

3/5

Magabeus wrote:
The Masked Ferret wrote:
Ryzoken wrote:

"Welcome to Thornkeep, here's a shovel, start digging."

"What are we digging, Mr. VC?"
"Your eventual graves."
Oh. You are all dwarf and half-orcs. You should be fine.
That's for Emerald Spire if I recall correctly

Yup.

Thornkeep cares not what race you are, you will die.


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You know you're in trouble when the GM enforces the terrible FAQs and errata...

5/5 Venture-Lieutenant, Finland—Tampere

Azten wrote:
You know you're in trouble when the GM enforces the terrible FAQs and errata...

So when the GM actually runs things by campaign rules, even if they themselves don't actually like them?

Liberty's Edge 2/5 Venture-Agent, Washington—Longview

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There are no healers or rogues of any kind...and everyone is arguing about who is buying all the cure light wounds potions...

Silver Crusade 1/5

Wendy Bryan wrote:
There are no healers or rogues of any kind...and everyone is arguing about who is buying all the cure light wounds potions...

Why the rogue? To UMD?

3/5

Blackbot wrote:
Wendy Bryan wrote:
There are no healers or rogues of any kind...and everyone is arguing about who is buying all the cure light wounds potions...
Why the rogue? To UMD?

Well, someone's gotta be the comic relief and I'm hard pressed to think of a bigger joke than the rogue class...

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